When Darkness Begins

by Tina O’Hailey

  “What you must ask is are you trying to save her so you avoid heartache? Or are you thinking about her?” Eterili took one small step towards Aithagg.

  Preoccupied with indignation, he did not notice. He raised his head to answer, “I am thinking of her. Is it selfish to want to save her? Protect her?”

  “Are you bound to her?” She asked quietly.

  He answered too quickly, sounding like a sulking child, “No.”

  Eterili raised a bony finger and pointed at the young boy’s chest. He imagined spiders must hide under her fur shawl. The gnarled finger quivered and its generous filth looked hardened. The nail was twisted, thick and dark with, he imagined, a putrid substance. The digit came slowly closer to him. He stood parallelized. Aithagg smelled her more clearly now: dirt, mud, blood, dead flesh, excrement, sweat, worms, an undertone of death—the smell of a rotting deer’s corpse baking in the sun from his youth.

  Her filthy finger hovered a hair’s width from his chest and she whispered in a low voice, “I am the beginning and the end.”

  When she touched his chest with her dirt-stained fingertip, an electric shock went through him like a bolt of lightning. His ears rang and the whiteness, which had been around him, burst from within. Searing heat and freezing cold all at once exploded in every cell of his body. He opened his mouth to yell but no sound would come forth. Darkness washed over him and in a faraway distance he heard Eterili’s words, “It is the way.”

  Then.

  Darkness.

  ***

  “—agg?”

  He struggled to open his eyes. Someone from far away shook him. A powerful ringing impaled his ears.

  “Aithagg?” The voice was insistent and started to cut through as the ringing diminished to a loud thrumming.

  He tried again to open his eyes and found they would obey if he insisted.

  Catha hovered over him; her long hair brushed his face. Absently he touched a long dark lock then he touched her face almost in wonderment.

  “Dreaming?” he whispered.

  “Not that I am aware of. You appeared back here seconds after you left. Except that you were asleep or unconscious at least.” Catha brushed her hair behind her ears.

  Sitting up was a struggle and Catha assisted him to an upright position. She eyed him then ventured, “Eterili saw you.”

  He nodded his head. “I found no answers—only more questions.”

  “I feared as much.” She held his hand in hers and they sat in silence.

  “I have no formal gift to give you.” Aithagg turned towards her in a rush, intensity in his voice.

  She frowned slightly, anticipating his thread of thought.

  He pulled the shell from his pocket. Its double square etching was visible in the lantern light. “This is from one of your first siblings.” He held it out to her. “I promise myself to you if you will have me.”

  She stared at the shell for a long moment.

  Aithagg hesitated. “I should go carve a totem myself and bring it to you.” He paused as if to leave and she stayed him with a hand.

  “Do not.” She took the shell from him and turned it over.

  He explained the origin of the shell as she inspected it, her eyes never leaving the double square etching.

  After a moment he fell silent waiting for her answer. She had become still while gazing at the ancient totem.

  “Stay and we will face the ritual together. I cannot tell you what will happen or how to prepare for it. I will stay with you and protect you.” He smiled, hopeful.

  “To promise yourself to me is short sighted, Aithagg.” She held the totem up as proof. “I will die like the rest.”

  “You do not know that.” He tried to take the shell from her saying, “I was not thinking. This is a wrong gift of promise. I should.”

  She cut him off by hugging him tightly. “No, it is perfect,” she whispered into his shoulder. “It is the truth of me and only you have ever risked everything to show me the truth. I do love you.”

  Surprised at the turn of events, Aithagg held her as she broke into tears. He was unsure of what to do and merely held her while she cried on his shoulder. Eventually, the tears dried.

  She placed the shell in a bag tied at her waist. She patted it as if content on its placement. “I will have to find a Linear tribe in this time that I can be with or get through time to a Linear tribe. You cannot be promised to me. Nor I to you. It is not wise.”

  “If it comes to that, I will help you get there,” Aithagg stated resolutely.

  “And if it does not come to that?” She asked coyly.

  “We will go through the ritual to sync in a time together and live as a unit.” He dared a smile. “I will help you get through time if you need it.”

  “Do not flatter me, we both know I will need a lot of help to move through time blind to it as I am.” She pulled at his hand to help him stand next to her. “You are a hopeless one.” She tugged at his arm and he enfolded her in an embrace.

  “We must announce that we are promised to Eterili and our parents. Eterili already suspects.” Aithagg gathered Catha’s fur roll from the ground and shook it out. “She knows everything. We were deluding ourselves to think otherwise.”

  “You saw nothing of the ritual?”

  “Only a gathering around something and then—nothingness.”

  “No one came back out that you could see?”

  “I suppose it is a portal of sorts from which she can push everyone to a specific place and time. As she pushed me here.” Aithagg cringed. “With her bony finger.”

  They gathered the rest of her things and headed back through the night towards their tribe’s cave, arriving just before dawn broke. No one questioned their sudden arrival or the collection of obvious travel things she held in her hands. Both returned to their sections of the cave as if it was any other day.

  They both slept fitfully, plagued with the impossible dreams of being together in their own frozen-time.

  12 A LOOMING PRECIPICE

  Drip.

  Drip.

  Drip.

  Drrrrip.

  Drip.

  Icaeph listened to the distant water drips. He awoke slowly realizing he must have synced with time again to hear water dripping, things moving. Time. He was in it. What was he thinking before the water awoke him? Rolling onto his side, he touched the dirt floor of the cave absently. The cold comforted him.

  Unknown to Icaeph in a distant time, a group of adolescent teens were gathering around a fire and going through their parting ritual. They were preparing for the travel to their ritual which would propel them through time to their own moment where they would sync and stay forever.

  He rolled again onto his back. Icaeph’s mind turned to his own parting ritual. In that past he had not been able to recall the details. Yet, now, he saw the event as if it were unfolding before him.

  He had taken his place at the circle. His mother sat at the fire and tried to put a brave face on. Icaeph clearly saw the worry she tried to hide. She had her hand in her lap–worrying something in her pocket: a stone or a shell. Icaeph had smiled bravely and grabbed the hand of his promised. Brevni stood close to him and she beamed with pride and happiness. She had turned to him and said something.

  Icaeph’s smile faltered. What had she said? He frowned, trying to remember. Water in the distance dripped, bringing Icaeph back to the present.

  Brevni. He had not thought of her in thousands of years. She had been everything to him, strong and brave. She had made a token woven from plant fibers for him. Two nights before the pa
rting ceremony, she promised herself to him and presented to him the gift. Brevni. The woven necklace had disintegrated over time.

  Drip.

  Drip.

  Icaeph sat and stared into the darkness. He tried to recall her face. They had lived here for a while. She had lived here with him. Together they had kept time running its course despite the Manipulator’s attempts at pushing it. It had been a slow cat-and-mouse game as there was not much to force time off its tracks. The isolated tribes moved across the lands. Keeping them moving and interbreeding, exchanging skills and ideas was the only thing necessary. Thousands of years had rolled by and he and Brevni had been…

  Drip.

  Drip.

  Had they been? Icaeph stood and listened to the outside world with all his might. Was the Manipulator out there? No. Still stuck in the deer, he hoped. He might have some peace for a while until the Manipulator found a host. Given the sparse population, when he trapped the Manipulator into an animal, it might take a hundred or more years before the Manipulator came near a human host again. Peace for Icaeph. Peace for all.

  What had he been thinking about? No Manipulator for a hundred years. Had Brevni been here with him? He realized he was standing at the opening of his cave with no memory of walking here. The sun had set. Would his mind wander so much he would walk out of the cave into the sun? Icaeph hoped not. Absently he stood and stared at the moonless sky. Was this main-time or some other time between now and then?

  Brevni had been here with him. He was sure of it. How long, though? How long before she...

  He refused to think about when he had lost her.

  Raindrops fell outside and dripped from the rock opening of his cave.

  Drip.

  Drip.

  Drip.

  Icaeph held a cupped hand out and gathered water in his palm. He watched it drop there, mesmerized by the ripples on the water made by each raindrop.

  The sun was almost rising. He had stood there in the cave’s opening all night, staring at the water in his hand.

  This must be madness, he thought to himself, unable to remember what he had done all night. He turned back to his darkness and disappeared from sight as he synced back to his frozen-time.

  Hidden in the brush, a deer stood watching the entrance to the Icaeph’s cave. Her ears twitched as each sound echoed through the woods. The Manipulator raised the doe’s head to sniff the air, searching for Linears: in the distance, something burning, they must not be far. The-Manipulator-inhabited-doe began walking through the woods to find a new Linear host. Along the way, the doe stopped at a field of fragrant purple flowers. There she paused and took in the sight until the raw need of finding a Linear erased any momentary twinkling of peace.

  13 THE PROMISE GIFT

  “Where did you get that?” Her mother’s voice was shrill and needling.

  Catha looked up from her quiet place by the fire where she had been trying her best to be invisible.

  “It was a gift,” Catha stated quietly.

  Her mother, who had not so much as spoke to her let alone look her way for over a month stared at her with burning eyes. “From who?” She came closer and stood over the girl.

  Catha looked up and leveled a gaze at her mother. She did not answer the question. She returned the shell to the pouch at her hip and patted it.

  “I asked you who that came from. You will answer me.” Her mother’s voice was piercing. She took a step closer and reached to grab Catha’s arm.

  “It does not matter,” Catha whispered as she stood. “I will leave soon and you can return to your time.”

  “I made that,” her mother insisted and moved aside as Catha stood. “I inscribed that. It is not yours to have. I gave it to our firstborn.”

  Catha bit back the comment she wanted to spit, how her beloved son had died by snakebite because of his Linear smelling blood. How Aithagg had found the shell and given it to her as a promise gift. How she would leave and start her own time and live where someone loved her and did not look at her as if she had already died. How she might for a moment not be ashamed for her Linear leanings. She might just be herself and be free.

  Catha said none of these things. Instead, she softened towards her mother and patted her shoulder. “It must hurt to have lost so many.”

  She walked away and saw her father standing near. His grim stance and crossed arms said all she needed to know. She approached him. “I will move my things and be nearer to the next ritual group. You two need not stay. I absolve myself from you. You can return to your time and be free of me.” Catha placed her hand on his chest. He did not react. “You two have no love to give and I have none to return. It is best to go on our own paths now. I am sorry that I am not be what you needed.”

  She walked away from the fire and into the darkness. When she returned that morning, her parent’s room was vacant. They had placed extra furs from their room onto her bed. She supposed that was as much love as she had ever seen from them.

  Aithagg appeared in the doorway. “They have gone?”

  “Yes. It was best.” She sank to the floor and brought her knees to her chest.

  “I did not see you all night.” Aithagg sat near her and also put his knees to his chest. “I assumed that you wanted to be alone.”

  “Mmmmmhmmmmm,” she mumbled.

  “We should announce our promise to my parents and Eterili tomorrow at the evening’s fire ring.” He kissed the top of her head. “It is not long until we depart for our ritual. A few moons, perhaps.”

  “We can walk through time, most of us can walk through time. Why do we have to wait?” She moved her arm to entwine in his and rested her head upon her knee.

  “I always supposed it was because Eterili leads the groups to the ritual site and she must rest between each trek. It is a moon cycle there and another one back.” He leaned his head upon her arm resting in his knee. Their noses nearly touched. “She is as old as dirt.” He kissed the tip of her nose and she smiled. “Your nose is cold.”

  “I feel the cold more than you do.”

  He pulled one of the extra furs from her pile and placed it about her shoulders. After fussing with it to stay in place, he returned to his position of being nose to nose with her. “There.”

  “You should stay.” She glanced over her shoulder at the mount of furs. “Keep me warm.” Her face flushed with slight embarrassment.

  Aithagg smiled gently. “Are you sure?”

  “That I will be cold. Absolutely. I shake with the cold every night,” she answered.

  “Are you sure that you want me to stay here?” Aithagg clarified.

  She rolled her eyes. “You do not take hints nor sarcasm very well.”

  “I suppose that I do not.” He bent to kiss her, and she met him with warmth.

  They fumbled together in a first, sweet encounter leaving them both warm despite the cool air. Sleep overtook them and with limbs entwined, they both disappeared.

  ***

  Searing pain as bright as the sun awoke Aithagg. He leapt from the bed. Realizing his left hand was the center of the shocking pain—he cradled it protectively to his chest. He quickly checked to make sure Catha was unharmed. She slept quietly, her eyes barely visible from underneath the pile of furs.

  Aithagg inspected the source of the intense pain: the small, pinky finger on his left hand. At the end of the finger a divot of flesh was missing. What remained was a smooth indentation of raw, cauterized meat. He stared at it in disbelief.

  Catha stirred and poked her nose over the furs. “Are you all right?” She sat up quickly, the furs falling from her naked form. She pulled them back with
one hand to cover her modesty. “We fell asleep! You would have shifted through time. We’re not bound yet to shift through time together as we sleep. We could collide. I didn’t think about that.” She pointed at his finger. “But wait, I do not shift in time. I do not think I shift in time.” She considered.

  Aithagg held out his finger to her. “You shift! You must have shifted through time. Last one there wins, remember? You must have collided with me.” He bounced onto the furs next to her and winced as pain jolted through his finger.

  “Does it hurt much?” she asked.

  “Only a little,” he lied.

  “So, I shifted and collided with you. How odd. I did not think I shifted as I slept.”

  “How would you know if you did?”

  “True point. Do you not wake up in other times, sometimes, if a noise awakens you?” She inspected the finger.

  “I have only done that a few times. It is most disorienting.”

  “I would assume so.” She kissed around the wound, which looked angry and red.

  “That means you must have more Vechey traits than you think. Perhaps your skills are only late in blossoming?” Aithagg was hopeful.

  She dared to be hopeful. “When we are bound then, we will shift together and after the ritual we will sync together.” She kissed the palm of his hand and then his chest. “I might see through time yet. Oh, that is such a relief.” She kissed his soft neck, and he pulled her closer.

  Their second encounter was more educated and filled with a passion fueled by hope and dreams.

  14 HOPE