Rock Gods: Baden

by Brandy Munroe

  Get Bent may not have been as big as Cover Me Grey, but we understood drugs were a common occurrence in and around the industry. Until recently I had always believed the accusation about drugging women to be hearsay, folklore. If I wasn’t there to see it happen, it didn’t occur.

  Crystal was there. It could have happened to her. That was going to take some time to wrap my brain around it and accept it for what it was—the truth.

  The one thing I did not need time to process was the feelings I had for Crystal.

  “This doesn’t change what’s going on between the two of us,” I announced confidently. She needed to know what happened in the past was merely that, the past. Whatever fallout happened would be dealt with when it happened. Until then, I’d let Theo and Jackson’s team worry about it.

  “Of course it changes everything,” she insisted.

  “What you told me does not change how I feel about you, Crystal.” I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “The person I had been seeing is Crystal Divine, not Christmas Davies.” I stopped her from interrupting.

  “Christmas Davies was a young, naive woman who was taken advantage of. I believe the incident transformed you into Crystal Divine, a confident, bad-ass rocker who will take no shit from anyone. That includes internet trolls and unscrupulous paparazzi that are going to try to make a buck.” My chest swelled with pride as I thought about where she started and where her journey took her. She didn’t let it beat her down. She learned from it and moved on.

  Many would not.

  “You may not feel that way when this shit starts hitting the tabloids.” She stared out the window to avoid making eye contact with me. “Will you still stand beside me if this affects the tour and shows have to be canceled? You stood behind them to the bitter end. Fuck, you were still defending him today when I was telling you what happened.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “How are you going to be able to stand up for me and be criticized for siding with the enemy?”

  “There’s no enemy here, Crystal.” Ironic that I had the same thought when she first announced who she was. I could see where this line of questioning was coming from. “When the time comes, we will stand together and tell the world whatever happened is in the past and needs to be left there so that all parties involved can move on with their futures.”

  “You sound like a label executive.” She lowered her tone. “Let bygones be bygones and everyone will live happily ever after.”

  “Crystal, you have to act like this doesn’t affect you, or the sharks are going to circle the waters and eat you alive. Is that what you want for the band, for us?” I would have thought that the fact that she was putting herself out there was proof that she had moved on. The bitterness in her tone suggested otherwise.

  “I do—I did—at least, I thought so until I started talking about it again. Fuck, this is not going to be easy.” She had let her guard down for me, allowing me to see a vulnerable side that I was sure she kept hidden away from most.

  “All I wanted was an apology and public declaration that I had not gangbanged the band to get ahead. I wasn’t asking for Cover Me Grey or Steve to praise my talents. I wanted them to admit that it was all a lie. How could they call me a no-talent bitter ex groupie when they had never heard me perform? That was all I was asking for,” she confidently declared.

  I couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from my chest. She gave me the stink eye at my antics.

  “Fuck, Crystal, do you think after last night’s performance anyone is going to believe that you have no talent?” I saw a smile ghost her lips.

  “That was pretty fucking awesome, wasn’t it?” She sat straighter, the passion for what she achieved glowing in her eyes.

  “That video went viral,” I reminded her. “When it’s revealed that Crystal Divine is Christmas Davies, that performance in itself is going to prove to the masses you are anything but a no-talent bitter ex groupie.”

  I let her digest that information for a few minutes.

  “So, back to our original discussion,” I gave her a sideways glance. “Crystal Divine, will you be my girlfriend?”

  It was her turn to laugh. “Maybe I should be the one to ask? Are you, Baden Dogger, brave enough to be my boyfriend?”

  I believed I was the kind of man Crystal was going to need to stand by her side when the time came. She was becoming a public persona. People were going to be curious as to who she was and where she came from. Despite the difference in her appearance, it would only take someone with a little knowledge of how to use the internet to put two and two together.

  It wasn’t a difficult question. It was the same as the one I had been asking Crystal for some time now.

  If this was the case, why did I hesitate?

  Chapter 28

  Crystal

  I was slightly disappointed at his hesitation to answer with an unequivocal YES. He had been the one to push the subject of us being a couple. He asked me to be his girlfriend a mere few seconds earlier. Why the hesitation?

  Had it finally dawned on him what being associated with me would bring to his career? He was correct that my performance last night would prove that Steve Grey lied about my talents. That did not, however, prove that he lied about any of his other accusations.

  I could argue that if he lied about one thing, it made a case that he had lied about the rest. There was no guarantee that at this point, neither of us would be believed. I also did not want to get into another he said she said situation.

  I liked Baden’s suggestion that we should address it as the past and nothing more. He was correct that if I as much as flinched if asked about Steve Grey or the incident, the sharks would most definitely never leave me alone.

  I would address it as ancient history, and anyone who had an interest in the old story could do their homework and look it up themselves.

  “Don’t look disappointed, Crystal,” he began. “My hesitation wasn’t because I was doubting my commitment to wanting to be with you. I was evaluating my shortcomings.”

  Baden had become well versed in reading my emotions. I liked to think I hid them well, but by his admission, I had not.

  “This oughta be good,” I snickered. Baden was admitting he was not the perfect boyfriend. That was the only thing he had been proclaiming for the past few weeks.

  “I want to prove to you that I can be that man that will stand by your side no matter what is thrown our way. I love the feisty, confident woman I have become acquainted with these past weeks.”

  I gasped at the casual way he used the L-word. Our relationship was nowhere near that point. Yes, I had strong feelings for Baden, but love?

  “Don’t get your thong in a bunch,” he snorted. “Yes, I love your fire, your passion, and I love our compatibility. I believe I could easily fall in love with you, but that time isn’t now.” He reached over and squeezed my knee in a comforting gesture. “Now, what do you love about me?” he jested.

  That was the most natural question he could have asked.

  “I love your I don’t give a shit attitude.” He was going to need that when the vultures started coming out of the woodwork. “You’re one of the few rock stars I’ve met that is not driven by your ego. I love that you don’t exert control in the bedroom even though it’s what you’ve always done.” I tapped my finger against my lips. “Let me see, what else do I love about you? Oh, yes, I love your cock. A lot.”

  I snorted a laugh as his lips turned up in a lopsided grin.

  I hadn’t been paying attention to the time or the road when Baden pulled into the hotel Anita had booked us for the night.

  “Are we in this together?” he asked and held his hand out towards me.

  I took it and gave it a firm handshake.

  “Together,” I proudly proclaimed.

  He pulled me across the console and sealed our deal with a soul scorching kiss that was rudely interrupted by someone banging on the passenger side window.

  I released his lips on a sigh and peeke
d over my shoulder to find Jade smiling ear to ear.

  She opened my door. “I’d say get a room,” she shrugged, “but I think that’s already been taken care of.” She threw her thumb over her shoulder toward the hotel.

  “How is it that the two of you,” I pointed to her and Kestrel, “are just arriving? You left at least an hour before us.”

  “We made a few stops along the way.” She leaned over and stage-whispered in my ear, “The vibrations from the bike had me worked into a frenzy. I insisted he,” she gestured towards Kestrel, who was stowing their helmets away in the saddlebags on his bike, “stop and take care of things down there before I exploded all over his leather seat.”

  Jade and I had a lot in common. Like her, I addressed my sexuality and decided I was never going to let someone else tell me how I should behave. For years I was in a monogamous relationship that ended in heartache. I realized the saving myself for marriage ship had sailed.

  Sex became an exploration, and it didn’t take me long to see how much I enjoyed it. I also concluded that there was nothing to be ashamed of in discovering what I wanted and going for it.

  And at this moment what I wanted was Baden Dogger. I was not going to let the what if’s stop me. I had no more secrets, no other skeletons waiting to fall out of the closet. He accepted me at my word.

  I had my doubts when this journey began. His old band at the time, Get Bent, stood behind Cover Me Grey. Learning why dissolved my fears that Baden was aware of the corruption that was easily swept under the rug. Knowing that was not the case put my mind at ease.

  Did I think Baden or the members of Get Bent were saints during their rise to fame? Hell to the no. I’d dealt with enough musicians to know it was hard to be immune to the bullshit the labels fed their stars. But I believed him to be a good person at heart.

  We made our way to the lobby and addressed the clerk at the front desk. As predicted, Anita had everything taken care of. We knew the setup would be the same as last night’s accommodation. As suspected, Baden had made his own arrangements and procured himself a suite on the same floor as Bentley Records’ entourage.

  As the clerk handed me my key to the room Jade and I would be sharing, I handed it over to Kestrel. I had no doubt where I would be spending the night. There was no longer any need for pretense or protest.

  Jade raised a concerned eyebrow. “Is this official?” she cautiously asked. I knew her real question was whether or not I had told Baden about my past.

  The repercussions my past could have on the future of Divine Chrysalis had been discussed at great length. I wanted everyone to know what they were getting themselves into if they attached their name to mine. Especially Jade, with her previous experience with the media. Everyone decided that we could weather the storm together when the time came.

  “Yes, it’s official.” I proudly took Baden’s hand in mine and smiled.

  Jade raised her hand for a high five. “Well, Halle-fucking-lujah, girlfriend! Is he as kinky a fucker as his reputation claims he is?” This time she made no attempts to lower her voice.

  Usually, a remark like that in the middle of the lobby of the hotel would have me cringing at the attention it would draw. Today, I stood proudly beside Baden and gave her a saucy grin.

  “Not yet, but the day is still young,” I added as I dragged Baden towards our room.

  Anita booked us on the ground floor. There were complaints about the partying last night from patrons on the floor below Bentley’s entourage. This seemed like a logical solution. Asking the roadies and support staff to keep their shit down usually had the opposite effects. Putting us on the ground floor was quite ingenious on her part.

  I let Baden lead me to the room he had booked. Upon entering, I dropped my backpack on the armchair and walked to the curtains to open them. I appreciated natural sunlight even though too much of it was harsh on my delicate skin.

  The view was what I should have expected from a suite of this size. We were situated at the back of the hotel with a patio that looked over lush gardens. Everything was in bloom, and I threw the sliding door open to get a whiff of the fragrant beauties outside our room.

  “This is beautiful.” I stepped out of the room, plucked a hydrangea bloom and threaded it through my hair.

  Baden came up behind me and circled my waist. In my flats, I stood at five foot eight to Baden’s six-two. I liked that I didn’t have to worry about wearing my sky-high heels. Most men were intimidated by women who were taller than them. I appreciated that Baden’s height gave me a sense of femininity that I had not found in other men. Dainty would not have been a word to describe me.

  “How long before we have to leave for sound check?” I asked. The trip had me on an emotional roller coaster, and a long steaming shower would relieve some of the lingering tension that remained in my shoulders and back.

  “An hour,” Baden kissed the top of my head. “Do you want to take a shower to wash off the road grime?”

  Fuck, this man could read me better than I should like. I was in so much fucking trouble. He said he could see himself falling in love with me. With every small gesture meant to comfort me, I was going to get there well ahead of him.

  And that scared the ever-living shit out of me.

  The last time I gave away my heart, I was young with notions of the American Dream. A home in the suburbs with a white picket fence. Two-point five kids and a dog. A career that allowed me to spend quality time with my family. A comfortable, predictable life.

  The life I was currently living was anything but predictable. This life had me living on a tour bus on the road. A different city every day. The man of my dreams was no longer a preppy, clean-cut accountant. He was a rock star with tattoos and sexual conquests from here to eternity.

  I was ready to throw caution to the wind and pray to God it didn’t backfire on me.

  I knew without a doubt I was strong enough to handle another scandal if things blew up between me and Baden.

  However, was I strong enough to handle another broken heart?

  Chapter 29

  Baden

  Tonight we were sitting in the green room waiting for the show to start. The girls had nailed Fun and Burn in the soundcheck. As usual, Anita was there every step of the way, keeping track of the social media buzz.

  Crystal said Theo had Jackson’s team on alert about the potential backlash concerning her past. Did that include Anita? Was that the reasoning behind the social media blitz surrounding Divine Chrysalis? Were they hoping to have enough positive interaction between the band and the fans that when Crystal’s past was exposed it would be nothing more than a blip on anyone’s radar?

  Unlike last night, there was not going to be any grand entrance. Theo wanted each set to be unique. Keep the fans guessing as to what was coming next. The opening and closing songs were also covers, but tonight Crystal was channeling a different female icon.

  The one-piece blue leather jumpsuit was a one-off. We had no clue as to where David borrowed it from or how many favors he had cashed in. Tonight the girls, including Crystal, were wearing dark blue denim with their bedazzled tanks.

  Emily was bursting with pride over her handiwork. Or perhaps she was bursting with the bun she was carrying in her oven. She seemed to have popped out overnight. I tried to remember when Theo’s wife Sabrina had begun to show. I’d never taken the time to give it much thought.

  I let my mind wander for a split second as to how beautiful Crystal would look if she were carrying my child. Would she have that glow that Emily had? Would she look up at me as adoringly as Emily did to David?

  I gave my head a mental shake. Wasn’t it mere hours ago that I told her that I was not in love with her? Not that I couldn’t fall in love again. If I were to let myself go there, I could see myself doing so with Crystal.

  She experienced heartbreak the same as I. Maybe together we could find a way to get past the broken pieces and help each other heal.

  After Jen, I stayed away from
bad girls. Crystal was proving to be the epitome of what I’d spent many years avoiding. She had a scandal hanging over her head. She was loud, brazen and oozed sexuality.

  And exactly what I needed to get the blood boiling through my veins. I didn’t know what I was missing until I had it in the palm of my hands.

  Now keeping it there, that was going to be a challenge.

  Watching Crystal on stage, commanding everyone’s attention with her smoky voice and take charge attitude, had me adjusting my cock under the table. I should have insisted we return to the hotel room after the sound check and fucked her senseless. Maybe then I wouldn’t have blue balls.

  No woman had me on edge sexually the way she did. And no woman had challenged me professionally the way she had. Working together in the studio was as much fun as fucking her afterward.

  Crystal insisted on staying and bonding with the girls at the venue. She bonded plenty with the girls since they all lived in the same house. She reminded me that this was all part of the process with new bands.

  I had been playing music with my brother and Adam since childhood. Theo joined us six years ago and fit in from the start. I never had to wonder as to whether we would bond as a band. Now with Theo retired and Bash joining us, I was going to find out.

  The tour was fast approaching, and we were going to be living together on a tour bus for six months. The cities where we had multiple shows, we would stay in hotels. But for the most part, I doubted finding time to bond as a new band was going to be an issue.

  I had assisted Theo with the selection of the tour buses. ReInVented’s coach was a mobile home on wheels. The Divine Chrysalis and Brackish buses were the same sizes. Each layout was designed in accordance with the needs of each band.