The Perks of Kissing You (Perks Book 3)

by Stephanie Street

  I cringed. “Mom, I’m sorry. We were gonna play games, but Dallin-”

  “Fell asleep,” she interrupted. Like I said, it wasn’t the first time.

  “Yeah.” I kept my voice small as if it could somehow help me hide from her piercing appraisal.

  “Bailey, I’m not blind-”

  “Mom, I swear it’s not like that. I’m not stupid enough-” I interrupted her this time, but she wasn’t finished.

  “I know you aren’t. But stupid and naive are completely different things.” She paused, letting her words sink in. And they did. I couldn’t help thinking she was wrong. I wasn’t naive. I knew things would never change between Jamie and me.

  I started shaking my head to deny her words. Mom lifted her hand between us, the one that wasn’t supporting the teeny life perched on her chest.

  “I wasn’t born yesterday, hon. I haven’t given birth to five kids and not figured out a couple of things about the birds and the bees.”

  “Ew, Mom-” I so did not want to think about that. At. All.

  “I’m serious, Bailey.” Her gaze was knowing. “I know you have feelings for Jamie and he hasn’t quite figured it all out yet.” Her voice rose, cutting off my denials, which were pointless. Delia squirmed in her arms. Mom swayed where she stood and patted the baby’s back. “Just because Jamie is a little clueless about your feelings doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of screwing up. I just don’t want him to take advantage of you. I know he has a bit of a reputation.”

  “How would you know that?” She really did know everything. It was like mom super powers or something.

  She glared at me out of the side of her eyes. “I have my ways. I just want you to be careful.”

  “Oh, my gosh, Mom. It is so not like that.” My cheeks were burning. “The last thing I want to deal with right now is...this.” I gestured toward Delia and Preston, who was now clinging to the bottom of her fluffy robe.

  “Oh, my gosh, Bailey. I wasn’t talking about that.” Her brow wrinkled with real concern as she frowned at me. “But now I am.”

  Yikes. How did I get myself into these situations? “It’s. Not. Like. That!”

  Mom’s sigh was full of long-suffering. “Look kiddo, I was talking about you getting hurt.” She glared again. “Not getting pregnant. I’m worried you’re going to get your feelings hurt.”

  You and me both, Mom. “I know. I’m not trying to get my heart broken.” Even though it pretty much happened every day and twice on the days I was an actual witness to Jamie in full NCMO action. Ugh.

  Mom’s expression softened, accentuating her exhaustion. It felt kind of nice to know she was even thinking about me when she had so much on her plate already. “I know, honey.” She reached out to tuck a lock of my auburn hair behind my ear. “Thanks for helping with the kids. I just need an hour or so, then I’ll get up and start on some laundry. It’s piling up in there.”

  She wasn’t kidding. The laundry room floor had disappeared sometime mid-week. I’d start in there after getting Preston some breakfast. So much for cat-napping on the sofa

  Mom was halfway to her room when Preston spilled Dad’s half drank Dr. Pepper he’d left on the coffee table onto the carpet.

  “Don’t worry. I’ve got everything under control,” I mumbled under my breath as I headed into the laundry room for an already dirty towel to clean up the mess. It was going to be a long day.

  Jamie

  “Everyone’s going to Sam’s lake house tonight. You in?” I asked from my prone position on Bailey’s bed. She was in her closet folding and hanging up her laundry while I played Candy Crush on my phone. “Bales?”

  “I don’t know. I’m kind of tired.”

  Yeah, the bags under her eyes kinda gave that away. I felt bad for my best friend sometimes. She had a lot of responsibility at home.

  The house was completely clean when I walked in about an hour ago and I didn’t think Bailey’s mom had left her room most of the day. That meant Bailey had spent all day cleaning while I was sleeping in my spotless basement apartment. And if the delicious smell coming up the stairs from the kitchen was any indications, she’d also started dinner.

  “Come on, don’t you want to get out of here for a while?” I would want to if I were in her shoes. Kids were great and everything. Benson and Preston, Bailey’s little brothers, were a lot of fun. But they wore me out. I was always glad I could escape to my own house after hanging out with them. The only break Bailey got was when she left her house and I was determined to drag her out. Kicking and screaming if I had to.

  “Yeah, but I’m not sure I want to go to a party.” She made a face and stuffed a bunch of rolled up socks into a drawer.

  “It’s not a party per se. Just a get together. Casual. You can lounge on the pier all evening if you want.” It was totally a party. It was a last minute and awesome attempt to one up the bonfire last night as the last party of the summer, but I wanted to play it down to get her to agree to it.

  Bailey paused, her gaze knowing. “If there’s gonna be alcohol, music, and teenagers, it’s a party, Barnes.”

  She had me there. “Whatever. What else are we going to do?”

  “Watch a movie? Eat popcorn? Sleep?” She sounded more hopeful with each suggestion.

  “That’s what lazy Sundays are for. Saturday nights are for parties. Er, get togethers.” I was shooting my own foot here.

  Finally done with her laundry, Bailey fell down beside me on her queen-sized bed. Since she had her own room, she got the big bed her grandparents used when they came to visit. “Is Dallin going?”

  Preston chose that moment to walk into the room. “Hi, Jamie!” he yelled as he jumped up on the bed and pounced on my gut. I caught him in a headlock and tickled his little belly.

  I turned to Bailey. “Is Preston the cutest kid on the planet?” I asked in answer to her question about Dallin.

  She grinned. “Yes, he is.” Bailey reached for her little brother’s feet and held them to keep him from kicking my future children as I tickle tortured him. Preston squealed and giggled and tried to squirm away from us.

  When Preston was all out of breath from laughing, I decided to give the kid a break. He was red faced and sweaty, but he had a huge smile on his face, too. Bailey stood up and began straightening her already perfect room. I lifted Preston Superman style above me on the bed. It was a game we played a lot and Preston loved it.

  “What do you say, Bales? You in?” There was tension in her back and shoulders. I felt bad for all the pressure she was under and wished I could help fix some of it for her. “Come on. It’ll be fun.”

  Chapter 4

  Bailey

  “Come on, Bales. It’ll be fun, Bales,” I whispered sarcastically under my breath as I threaded my way out of Sam’s parent’s lake house and onto the pier reaching out over the edge of the lake. It was dark outside and the view of the stars was amazing. Too bad I was too irritated to enjoy it.

  I didn’t know why I let Jamie talk me into these things. I would have been better off at home watching a movie on my laptop. Anything would be better than spending the evening watching Jamie and his most recent conquest grinding in Sam’s basement. I knew it was only a matter of time before they found an empty corner of the room and started making out. It was Jamie’s M.O.

  Things were changing. Things had changed. I figured it all began last year with the school’s student athletic trainer, Allie Brown.

  Allie was a senior like us. She and Jamie had a class together last year and for the first time in forever, Jamie formed a crush. On Allie. The only problem, other than my own gag reflex whenever he spoke her name (which was a lot), was the fact that Allie was secretly in unrequited love. And who could blame her. Connor Sanders was the poster child for super-hot jocks. He was the star quarterback of the football team and gorgeous. And he and Allie had been friends for years.

  I did feel kind of bad, though. Jamie really thought he had a chance with Allie. And as much as it hurt to se
e the object of my own unrequited love crushing on someone else, I loved Jamie enough to want to see him happy and it sucked when things didn’t work out for him. Jamie was a good guy, though. He knew Allie was in love with Connor and once it was apparent Connor returned her feelings, Jamie stepped away. He wanted Allie to be happy.

  I wish that had been it, though. But it wasn’t. Jamie suffered another blow toward the end of the last school year, a much bigger one than getting beat out by the quarterback for a cute girl. Jamie’s dad passed away after taking a fall during his annual rock climbing vacation with his college buddies.

  I was there when Jamie found out about his dad and I’d never seen my best friend so anguished. The last weeks of school were hard. Jamie was dealing with not only his own grief, but also looking out for his mom, who was understandably devastated. It was a difficult time and still was in a lot of ways for Jamie and his mom and for us as his friends who loved him.

  Once summer hit, Jamie’s mom began to lose herself in her writing. I knew Jamie worried about her. We’d all, the three of us, heard her crying long into the night in her room. At first, I knew Jamie tried to talk to her, comfort her, but he soon realized she was better dealing with her sorrow on her own.

  As for Jamie, he sought solace in being gone. I understood the appeal of being away from the home that held memories of his dad and the happiness they all shared there. I knew Jamie spent all of his time alone unless he was with Dallin or me. He took a job over the summer working full time at his dad’s accounting firm, filing paperwork and whatever else his dad’s partner needed from him. But at night, Jamie went to parties.

  And that’s when the NCMO started.

  Non-committal make out. It made my stomach knot just thinking about it. Not that I couldn’t understand the appeal of kissing, of course, I could. I just didn’t care for the meaningless kind. Especially, the kind that involved using another person to distract yourself from your sorrow. And in my opinion, that was exactly what Jamie was doing.

  Before last year, I wouldn’t have pegged Jamie for a NCMO kind of guy. He’d always been more of a relationship guy. But not anymore. It was like the words commitment, girlfriend, and relationship had suddenly become curse words. He cowered away from them like they were infectious diseases, leaving any girl hoping for more than a couple hours of kissing, sadly disappointed for days after, even weeks after. He must be an amazing kisser.

  He should be. He’s had enough practice.

  Dallin called Jamie a player.

  Player.

  What was a player, anyway? I’ll tell you, they’re jerks who play with emotions for their own pleasure. I didn’t want to believe that’s what Jamie was doing. I wanted to believe he was hurt and just looking for an escape, but that didn’t excuse him from being cruel and there were times Jamie was unfeeling, completely disregarding the girls he hooked up with, only looking out for himself and his own selfish needs.

  And it made me mad.

  It hurt.

  “For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s trying to be a jerk.”

  I looked up to see Dallin making his way toward me down the long pier. Dallin. At first, I didn’t want to like Dallin. He moved in across the street when Jamie and I were in the third grade. I was so terrified that this new boy would steal away my best friend that I tried to freeze him out. It was no use. Mostly because he was just so darn friendly it was impossible not to like him. That and he never tried to just be Jamie’s friend. He always wanted to be my friend, too.

  “It’s none of my business.” We’d had this conversation ad nauseum.

  Dallin sat down beside me, close enough I could feel the warmth from his body, but not so close we were touching.

  Dallin.

  Things would honestly be so much easier if Dallin and I liked each other. It would take so little effort. We’d even kissed two years ago. Jamie was gone at his grandparents’ house visiting over Christmas break. Dallin and I spent a lot of time together, more than we ever had before without Jamie. One night we were at his house late watching a movie and there’d been this odd tension that had kind of been building all during break. We snuggled a little on the couch, held hands and then, he kissed me.

  It was...nice.

  But kind of like kissing a sibling. Or a cousin. For both of us. I watched him closely after because I was worried he’d only agreed to it being weird because he could tell I wasn’t that into it. For heaven’s sake, I’d already fallen hard for Jamie (you know, when we were in kindergarten), but in the end, I had to believe him. He’d even kissed me after walking me home, late and in the dark, just to be sure. We both backed away with matching expressions of both embarrassment and disgust. Everything about the way we interacted over the next few weeks and months was just like normal. Nothing was awkward, we were just friends.

  We also both agreed to never breathe a word about it to Jamie, and to my knowledge, neither of us had. The best part about it was that we were somehow able to become better friends. Maybe it was because we didn’t have to worry about risking our friendship for a romantic relationship. There were certain things I felt I could confide in Dallin that I would never tell Jamie because it wasn’t worth it. I couldn’t risk my friendship with Jamie or jeopardize the possibility of more.

  Dallin snorted at my quick response. “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. For you.”

  His gaze was direct and I wanted to hide. He didn’t usually call me out like that. He was more of a surface kind of guy, not one to delve deeper into the meanings of things.

  “I don’t know what you mean.” It was a lie and we both knew it.

  Dallin snorted again. “Dude’s completely clueless.” Dallin chuckled a little under his breath.

  I smirked because it was ironic. Between the three of us, Jamie wasn’t usually the clueless one.

  “Whatever. I’ve always just tried to be one of the guys. It happens when your best friends with two dudes.” And the last thing I ever wanted was to lose that friendship. It meant everything to me.

  “Still, even I figured out you were a girl.” One corner of Dallin’s mouth lifted in a knowing cocky half-grin.

  I smiled in return despite my shock that he was referring to that night, even vaguely. We’d never mentioned it.

  “Gosh, wouldn’t it have been so much easier if we’d fallen madly in love that night?” I nudged his shoulder with mine.

  “I don’t know. I kinda like my single status.” He softened his words with a gentle smile and put his arm around me.

  I snuggled into his chest, because who was I to deny myself some friendly affection, and smiled when he kissed the top of my head. Dallin really was a great guy.

  Too bad I was in love with a player.

  Jamie

  The parties were over. It was Monday and the second week of fall practice had begun. I ran cross country and I hated every minute of it. I was good, but I hated it. The only bonus was that Bailey ran, too, and we got to practice together. In fact, I usually gave her a ride.

  “I should have spent more time running this summer,” Bailey groaned as we finished our five-mile run.

  I just smiled encouragingly because she was right. But I understood why she didn’t. Her life was busy and there was a lot of pressure at home. Either way, she was going to be hating it these first couple of weeks.

  We passed the football practice field and my pulse gave a little jump. I’d probably enjoy cross country more if I liked football a little less.

  “You don’t still have a thing for Allie, do you,” Bailey asked, following my gaze to the field, her voice full of judgement I didn’t need.

  “What?” That was out of the blue.

  Bailey backed up a fraction.

  That had come out more defensive than I meant for it to, but damn. I clenched my jaw. “Sorry.”

  Bailey’s lips pinched together and she stopped. Immediately, we both began to stretch.

  “No, James, I’m sorry. It’s none of my business, any
way.”

  It wasn’t. But that didn’t mean I should bite her head off. I didn’t even know what I was all upset about. No, that was a lie.

  “What made you say that?” What signal had I given that I still had a thing for Allie Brown? The girl was straight up in love with the biggest deal our school had seen- ever. And he loved her back. I had absolutely no chance with her- at all. I’d come to terms with it. I’d also decided relationships were overrated. Who needed the angst and drama and broken hearts? Not me. I knew better now anyway. Hadn’t I had a front row seat to my own mother’s broken heart after my dad died? Why would I ever voluntarily put myself through that? So, I didn’t and the NCMO King was born.

  Bailey shrugged, her eyes lowered to the ground. “I don’t know. Just the look in your eye when you were watching the field.”

  That explained it. Bailey thought the longing on my face had been for the girl and not the game. Chuckling, I had to laugh at myself. It was bad if my best friend in the whole world couldn’t tell the difference in me missing a sport and being in love with a girl.

  “What’s so funny?”

  We dropped to the ground and continued our stretches.

  “Me. I wasn’t look at Allie.”

  Bailey frowned, her eyes drifting to scan the football field. Allie was the only girl over there. Even the cheerleaders, who sometimes practiced in the morning when it was cooler outside, were gone.

  “She’s the only girl over there, Barnes, so unless there’s something you aren’t telling me,” she the words trail off, her implication clear.

  “Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes. I didn’t bat for my own team.

  Bailey grinned at that. “Yeah, I know. So, what?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I was just pissed, I guess. You know I hate running. Just wishing I could be out there.” I tipped my chin in the direction of the field.

  Understanding washed over her. She knew all about my love affair with football. And why I didn’t play.