I felt like such a girl. It was nice.
Except, I also felt like I was going to throw up.
Because Jamie was going to know I tried. And that made me feel vulnerable. Here I was dressed up for a date and I had no idea how this night was going to turn out. Chances were I was going to show up, dressed like this, and have Jamie laugh in my face. What if he thought this was all just a joke? Some prank designed to yank his chain and make him think better of his NCMO King title.
What if Dallin was there? Had Jamie told our other best friend about my hair-brained idea? Were they over there right now laughing at me like this was a big joke?
Maybe I should change. And wash my face. I could just put my hair in a ponytail and chalk up the curls to playing dress up with Stella.
A glance at the clock told me I was too late. 8:55. If I was really going to lay it all on the line, then I needed to be all in.
It was go time.
Jamie
I showered, dressed, and brushed my teeth in record time. I even spent a couple of minutes cleaning up my room and the tv area. Although, my room was probably a bad idea for what Bailey had in mind. Actually, I had no idea what Bailey had in mind, but if it involved kissing, it should probably not happen in my bedroom.
8:55.
Running shaking fingers through my still damp hair, I tried to calm my racing heart. I felt like I just ran sprints and I desperately hoped my deodorant would hold up because my pits were feeling decidedly damp already. Gross. Sprinting to my room, I stripped off the long-sleeved button down I wore and fanned my overheated body with it before digging in my closet for a short-sleeved t-shirt.
This was ridiculous.
Bailey. We were talking about Bailey here. My best friend. The girl I used to swim in a baby pool with in our underwear. My running partner. The only girl I knew who could throw a football with us for two solid hours in my backyard and not get bored before kicking my ass in HALO.
I had nothing to worry about.
A soft knock on the exterior door stopped me in my tracks. I still didn’t know what I was going to do. Was I really going to kiss Bailey?
A more forceful knock followed and I moved to open it. I’d been thinking about this all day and it had taken until I was under the freezing cold stream of my shower to figure it out. I was unsure enough of my feelings about all of this to let Bailey take the lead and see where things went. I had a feeling once we crossed that line between friendship and something more, I’d know for sure if I really wanted something more. It was the same with any other girl I’d ever kissed. Why should Bailey be any different?
The difference was that with Bailey, I had a hell of a lot more to lose.
Bailey never knocked on my door. She just let herself in and plopped down on my couch like it was her own house. It was an almost surreal experience to open the door to see her standing there wringing her hands like she hadn’t spent as much of her life in my house as she had in her own.
And she never looked like that. Where was the messy bun? And sloppy t-shirt? This wasn’t that Bailey. This was date Bailey and suddenly I was fervently relieved that I’d listened to myself and cleaned up. This could have gone so differently!
I opened the door wide and Bailey stepped over the threshold. Instead of making herself at home like she usually did, she stood awkwardly on the small square of linoleum by the door.
“You can come in, Bales,” I teased her with a smile. She was blocking me from closing the door.
“Oh, sorry.” She blushed, but stepped away from the door. I closed it and before I could second guess the decision, I locked it. I hadn’t discussed any of this with Dallin and the last thing I needed was for him to barge in here.
“Um-” Without a doubt this was one of the weirdest moments of my life. Thankfully, Bailey took over.
“So, are you ready for this?” she asked and I had to admire her moxie. I’d never known Bailey to back down from a challenge and our conversation last night had definitely turned her little plan into a challenge.
“I guess,” I answered, my hand unconsciously coming up to rub at the back of my neck.
Bailey smiled a real smile then. “Come on, Barnes. Get your game face on.” And with that she playfully punched my arm before striding across my tv room and plopping down on the sofa, pulling a memo sized notebook from her back pocket.
Following her, I sat down on the on the other leg of the L-shaped sofa, almost as far away as I could get.
“What the heck is that?” I pointed to the notebook she was studying.
She glanced up, a surprising twinkle in her eye. “This?” She held it up for me to see. “This is our game plan.”
Of course, it was. “Oh, yeah. Do I get to see this game plan? Or is it secret?”
Her eyes flashed with uncertainty, but she tossed the notebook in my direction anyway. I easily snagged it out of mid-air and made myself comfortable.
In Bailey’s thin handwriting across the top of the small page, were the words Five Kisses for Proving Emotional Attachment. I snorted. She was taking this seriously. Below the title was a numbered list.
Eskimo
Butterfly
Face kisses
Lips only
French
I’d have to be inhuman not to feel something reading that list. Turned on might be a stretch, but excited wouldn’t be an understatement. I fought my teenage boy and tossed the notebook back to Bailey with what I hoped was an impassive expression.
“Eskimo?”
“Yep.”
Yep. What the hell was an Eskimo kiss?
I took a moment to let my eyes take in the girl across from me. To her credit, Bailey didn’t hide from my perusal. Her direct gaze didn’t leave my face. I wondered what secrets I was giving away.
“Bailey-” I began when I was finished.
“You don’t have to do this, Jamie. At all. I can get up and go home right now and we can forget all about this.”
I wished I knew her secrets. What was she really trying to get out of this little experiment of hers? Was it really about teaching me a lesson? Or was it something else? Other than that day when she said something about me kissing every girl but her, I’d never even considered the fact that my best friend might have deeper feelings for me than of friendship. Since then, I haven’t been able to consider anything else.
And my own feelings?
“Oh, no. You can’t back out now, Bales. You’re the one who called me out.” My pride demanded I follow through. I’d worry about feelings later.
Bailey’s eyes narrowed for a brief moment, then she nodded. “Okay, let’s do this.”
“Okay.” I nodded in return, but didn’t move.
Bailey’s lips pursed like she was fighting a grin. “Well, are you going to sit over there all night?”
Right.
Chapter 13
Bailey
I almost didn’t want Jamie to move from where he was on the other side of the couch, because if he did, there was no way he wouldn’t hear the pounding of my heart and I wasn’t sure I was ready for him to have that information.
I also didn’t know if I was ready for him to know how much this meant to me. How much he meant to me. I was serious about kissing him. I was serious about the feelings I had for him. I didn’t know what I would do if he made fun of me. Or hated kissing me. Or decided when it was all said and done that we couldn’t be friends anymore. But here we were.
Slowly, so dang slow, Jamie rose from the deep cushion and took a step toward me, then another. Until he sank down beside me. Close enough to feel his warmth, but not so close we touched.
I fought the urge to put more distance between us. Which was ridiculous. We weren’t even going to kiss tonight. We wouldn’t really kiss, lip to lip, until kiss number four. I didn’t know why I was so nervous.
“So…” Jamie sounded so unsure, I giggled. I just couldn’t help it and pretty soon we were both laughing.
“I’m sorry,”
I said through my giggles. This was insane. What was I thinking? I worked to get the giggles under control.
“Wow, this is just-” Jamie shook his head, a smile still pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Okay, let’s do this. What are the rules? And seriously, what is an Eskimo kiss?”
Near uncontrollable laughter was a good tension breaker and I was ready to put my plan into action. Or at least, I thought I was.
I considered his question about rules. “Yeah, a couple of rules. And feel free to mention any you think of.”
Jamie nodded.
“First, respect. No kissing and telling. Or making fun.”
“Sounds reasonable,” Jamie agreed.
“And neither of us has to do anything we don’t want to. This stops whenever either of us says it does.”
“Okay.”
“And no kissing out of order. We go according to the list. One kiss per make out session and no skipping ahead.”
Jamie’s brows furrowed a little at that last one, but he didn’t object.
I had a reason for my methods. I didn’t want to just rush into kissing Jamie. This wasn’t about raging teenage hormones. I wanted Jamie to realize that kissing, being close, affected the way you felt about someone and the way they felt about you. I knew without a doubt Jamie had hurt some feelings over the last year and he didn’t even know it. That wasn’t the kind of guy he was, not really, even if I kind of understood his motivation.
“You have anything to add?” I asked.
Jamie surprised me by picking up my hand. I raised my gaze to meet his. His eyes were serious.
“You have to promise to tell me if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
I couldn’t really imagine that happening, but I didn’t argue with him, just nodded my agreement.
“And,” he paused to clear his throat. “And you can’t hate me when this is over.”
When this was over.
Those four little words were like a splash of cold water. My purpose for this was two-fold. I wanted Jamie to see how he could hurt girls with his NCMO ways, but I also wanted him to see that I loved him and that maybe he loved me, too. I didn’t want this to be over. Ever.
“Okay, James.”
“Deal?” He adjusted our hands until they were in position to shake on it.
“Deal.” I gripped his hand.
“Alright then.”
“Eskimo kisses, also known as a nose kiss or nose rub. Performed by rubbing one’s nose against another’s nose,” I repeated the words I’d read in my internet search.
Jamie’s face scrunched. “Noses.”
“Yup, noses.”
“You want to make out...with our noses?”
Well, it sounded kind of crazy when he said it like that. However, I believed in my plan. Mostly.
“Yes. Noses.”
Jamie’s lip curled and his eyes danced with amusement. “Whatever you say, boss.”
We’d been sitting side by side, but as we went over the rules, I’d kicked off my shoes and shifted so I was facing him, my knee resting on his thigh. Now Jamie moved, his arm closest to me coming up to rest above my head on the back of the couch.
Gosh, he was big. The weights he’d been lifting had done wonders for his body.
I realized I had no idea how to do this. I had no idea how to be close to Jamie like this. Part of me wanted to reach out and tickle his ribs and say ‘just kidding’. A larger part of me wanted to snuggle under his arm and press my cheek to his chest.
“Bales.” Jamie’s voice sounded like he’d just eaten a handful of gravel. I couldn’t look at him.
He let go of my hand, the one he still held, to reach for my chin. With unexpected tenderness, he used his knuckle to tip my chin in his direction.
“Noses,” he chuckled under his breath.
Noses. Why had I ever come up with this plan? Now that we were this close, my mouth watered to kiss him. His lips were right there!
“It’s just to get used to being in each other’s space,” I defended my first kiss choice.
With his eyes never leaving mine, Jamie leaned forward, tilting his head just a smidgeon until our noses touched, our lips just missing.
“In your space. Got it.”
I giggled.
Jamie grinned.
It was so silly, until it wasn’t. Jamie continued his assault on my nose with his. Eskimo kisses were supposed to be friendly. I gave Preston Eskimo kisses all the time when I put him to bed. But Jamie wasn’t Preston. My senses were overwhelmed with the man beside me. His heat. His scent. His him. What should be silly became unbearably sensual. With just our noses! No other part of our bodies touched except where my knee rested on his leg. Jamie didn’t touch me anywhere else.
But my face tingled. The almost touches of his cheek and lips were just as stimulating as the brush of his nose against mine.
I wasn’t the only one affected. Jamie’s pulse throbbed in his neck and his breath was ragged as he began caressing my cheek with his nose. He was off course, this was not on my list, but I wasn’t complaining, especially when the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as his nose trailed a path across my temple and along my jaw until it reached my chin.
Jamie broke contact with my face then, backing away until our eyes met. His expression was inscrutable except for the faintest furrow between his brows.
I wasn’t ready to be done. Jamie had taken the bull by the horns, moving in to Eskimo kiss me first. I was supposed to be the one in charge of this lesson, wasn’t I?
Jamie’s face was too far above me. To reach him I’d have to pull his face down or rise up to his height. Shifting my weight, I sat on my foot. He didn’t move, just watched as I moved my face closer to his. I was surprised by the courage it took to make contact with him. I felt so incredibly vulnerable and dumb.
Jamie tipped his head just a fraction of an inch, enough that I could reach the tip of his nose with mine. Instantly, when they touched, I craved more contact. Closing my eyes, I did what he’d done to me. Brushing my nose over his, inhaling his scent deeply, committing the moment to memory. For several long seconds, I allowed myself the freedom to explore this more-intimate-than-I-ever-expected slice of time. Finally, I followed the path he had, over his temple, down the slope of his jaw, raspy with faint whiskers, until I reached his chin before pulling away.
The furrow between Jamie’s brows had deepened. He watched me carefully, his body perfectly still except for the steady rise and fall of his chest and shoulders as he breathed.
“Can I see that list again?” he asked out of the blue, startling me out of our staring contest.
Shaking my head to clear my scrambled brains, I reached into the back pocket of my jeans and handed the memo notebook to him.
Jamie reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He opened his camera app and snapped a picture of the list before handing the notebook back.
“Okay, well, that was fun,” he said, quickly standing.
I guess we were finished for the night. Jamie reached down to pick up my boots off the floor and handed them to me. He didn’t even give me a chance to put them on before he was herding me out the door.
“Good night,” he called and slammed the door at my back.
What in the world?
Jamie
As for me, I went to take a cold shower.
Freaking Eskimo kisses!
Chapter 14
Jamie
“Set hike!”
Ethan snapped the ball perfectly into my hands. This week’s opponent was stiffer competition than last weekend. We were working our tails off for every yard of offense and the defense was struggling, too. It was the fourth quarter and we were down by three. A field goal would suffice, but we really needed a touchdown. A quick look down the field produced no open receivers. It was too late to hand off to one of the running backs. I had to run it myself.
Tucking the ball under my arm, I headed for an open patch of green and made it f
ive yards before getting smashed at the bottom of the heap. Good hell, football was brutal. But so dang fun. We needed four yards on the next play for the first down. One of the juniors ran in from the sidelines with the play. We broke our huddle and marched to the line of scrimmage.
I called out the play. Ethan snapped the ball. Our line held the defense giving the receivers time to get down the field. It was going to be a long pass. Pulling my arm back, I grunted with the force of the throw and watched as the ball sailed in an arc over the field.
“Yes!” I pumped my arm in the air. Clint Moore made the reception and ran into the end zone.
Twenty minutes later, we were headed to the locker room victors.
“What a game, right?” Dallin sank onto the bench in front of our lockers with an exhausted sigh.
“No kidding.” I should be pumped after a game, but tonight I was wiped.
“Two and oh, man.” Dallin grinned and held out his fist.
“Two and oh.” I smiled in return and pounded my fist into his.
We’d both already showered and dressed. I pulled on my shoes and stuffed my gear into my bag.
“Are you going to the party?” Dallin asked.
Ugh. The party. There was always a party. I wasn’t in the mood. “I don’t know, man. I’m beat.”
“Yeah, Bailey texted that she wants a ride home.”
What? Why was Bailey texting Dallin about a ride? I always gave her a ride. An unfamiliar and unwelcome emotion slithered in my gut. I’d seen Bailey every day this week. And by unspoken agreement, neither of us had mentioned what had happened between us Saturday night before I all but shoved her out of my house. There had definitely been no mention of our next ‘make out’ session.
I’d tried to play it cool, but I had to admit, things were different now. I found myself thinking about Bailey at odd times during the day. Like when I brushed my teeth, it reminded me of cleaning up before she came over because I didn’t want to stink for her. When had I ever cared about that before?
The Perks of Kissing You (Perks Book 3) Page 9