The Perks of Kissing You (Perks Book 3)

by Stephanie Street

  Jamie jumped up and grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch before coming back to lay beside me on the bean bag.

  “Stay,” he said with a hint of a request.

  I nodded and rolled to my side. Jamie covered us both with the blanket and curled his big body around mine. We’d fallen asleep in this exact position dozens of times, but there was nothing the same about the way it felt and for the first time in the years since I’d realized I was in love with my best friend, I felt hope.

  Chapter 15

  Jamie

  It was safe to say ‘making out’ with Bailey had thrown me for a loop. All the things I thought I knew about my best friend? Yeah, I didn’t know crap. I knew she was good at video games and could run like the wind. I knew she was smart and funny and I could count on her when I needed someone to have my back. I knew she’d shoot me straight if I was lying to myself about anything, even if she knew it would make me angry. For years, Bailey has been my pal, my bud.

  With a few well-placed words from my best friend, I’d experienced a complete flip in perspective. It wasn’t that she’d changed, she hadn’t. I had. I had no explanation for why I couldn’t see what was right in front of me, but the truth was that where Bailey was concerned and our friendship- I’d been stuck in the fifth grade for the last seven years.

  And now I had to wonder if the same had been true for her? I guess, I had to believe that her feelings were already light years ahead of mine. Otherwise, why would she have come up with this plan? If the idea was to help me understand that spending intimate time with someone kissing brought on feelings that ultimately led to a sense of commitment, then by doing what we were doing, Bailey and I should develop feelings for each other, the kind that led to commitment.

  But that didn’t really work, right? Lots of people kissed without falling in love. Maybe what Bailey was getting at was that the feelings didn’t always have to be that of romantic love. Maybe what she meant was the development of a deeper connection. If two random people hook up without any prior knowledge of each other, by the power of their physical connection, would they develop an emotional one?

  And what about me and Bailey? We already had an emotional connection. I loved her as much as could love another person. At least, I thought I did. I guess, I didn’t really have a lot of experience with love. My mom loved me. My dad did. And I loved them. I loved Dallin like the brother I never had. But Bailey...Bailey was like…

  She’d been there for me. When my world fell apart when I was five years old, Bailey was there. When it fell apart again when my dad died, it was Bailey who understood. She knew when I needed to talk and when I needed to be silent. She knew when I needed company and when I needed to be alone.

  All this introspection was terrifying. Forcing myself to recognize and acknowledge my feelings was scary. I’d been happy, perfectly content with my life the way it was. Right? I liked kissing cute girls at parties, no, I loved it.

  I haven’t even considered doing that for weeks.

  “Barnes!” Coach Reno’s voice echoed through the locker room from the doorway to his office.

  Dallin smirked at the panicked expression on my face. He knew about my irrational fear that Coach was going to find out I was playing football behind my mom’s back. There wasn’t anything either one of them could do about it, though, so Dallin thought it was hilarious I was so worried. Pretty much, I just didn’t want to deal with the confrontation.

  I threw a clean shirt over my head and stepped into my shoes before heading to Coach’s office.

  “Coach?” I hovered in the doorway, not wanting to commit to stepping over the threshold unless I had to.

  “Have a seat, Barnes.” Coach kept his eyes on his computer monitor, his hand clicking on the mouse.

  Taking a deep breath, I sat in the chair in front of his desk and waited.

  “I have to admit, kid, you’ve surprised me.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that and the distracted way Coach was talking to me made me think he wasn’t expecting a response.

  So, I grunted. Real smooth.

  Coach glanced away from his computer to study me over the rim of his reading glasses that always hung on a lanyard around his neck.

  “Um, thank you, sir.” Maybe he had been expecting a response after all.

  “I wanted to talk to you about your future, son.” His eyes met mine directly, a serious expression on his face.

  “Okay.” I nodded as though I understood exactly what he was talking about.

  I didn’t.

  “As you know, we’ve had college scouts crawling all over this place for the last two years. Mostly, they’ve been looking at Sanders and Coleman, but it’s also true a few of our other athletes have garnered attention from some smaller Division 2 schools.” He paused and sat back in his chair, steepling his hands in front of his chest. “To be frank with you, Jamie, I’ve had a couple of calls about you.”

  Whoa.

  “Not to speak badly of the kid, but with Seth as our quarterback, our team wasn’t expected to win our first three conference games this season or half of all our games after that. Your first two wins have caught the attention of the people that pay attention to these kinds of things. The kind of people who offer football scholarships.”

  A little dumbstruck by the things Coach was telling me, all I could muster was a nod of my head.

  “I’m guessing you can imagine how important our game is on Friday.” His gaze narrowed, focusing closely on mine. “For you.”

  For me. Because college scouts were talking to Coach- about me.

  “Wow. Okay. I don’t know what to say. I’ll play my best, Coach,” I rambled, the full force of what he was saying not quite sinking in.

  Coach leaned back in his desk chair, crossing his arms over his chest. For a middle-aged guy, Coach Reno was in excellent shape. As our weight lifting and conditioning coach, it wasn’t unusual for him to jump in and work out with us, showing rather than telling us about good technique and form.

  “You’re a mystery to me, Barnes. I took some time this week to look into your stats from Jr. High and talk to your eighth-grade coach. He had lots of good things to say about you and he jogged my memory a bit. Turns out I knew your dad,” Coach paused, his eyes landing on a stack of papers in front of him on his desk. “He was my accountant. I didn’t make the connection when we first talked.” He glanced up again, his gaze catching mine. “Your dad was a real fine man. He loved football, son. We talked on several occasions when we had business together. I think he’d be proud to see what you’ve accomplished in a short amount of time.”

  I felt blindsided by unexpected emotion and had to clear my throat a couple of times before I was able to speak.

  “Thank you, sir.”

  Coach nodded, his attention back on his computer screen. “I made a file for you, some film to watch before the game this weekend.” He picked up a memory stick and held it out to me. “Watch their defense, specifically number ninety. He’s the best they’ve got and he’ll be gunning for you.”

  “Yes, sir.” I took the drive and stood. The hall outside the office was quiet.

  “Barnes! One more thing.”

  I poked my head back inside the doorway.

  “Take what I told you seriously, son. Two games could be a fluke. Attributed to flaws on the opposing teams. We develop a pattern of winning and I have a feeling I’ll be hearing from more than one or two schools.”

  I nodded but he was already onto something else.

  Outside the locker room, Bailey waited against the wall still in her running clothes. My pulse kicked up a notch. We’d spent most of the weekend together, us and Dallin. Bailey and I never had another opportunity to work on our make out sessions, but that was okay. I liked that we weren’t just jumping in with both feet. The fact that I was even thinking about kissing Bailey for real and looking forward to it required some serious contemplation.

  “Hey.” She glanced up from her phone, a quick s
mile lighting up her face once she spotted me.

  “Hey, yourself,” I replied. Suddenly, I was filled with the intense desire to hold her. I dropped my bag and when Bailey stepped away from the wall, I swept her into my arms.

  “Sorry you had to wait. You could have gone with Dallin,” I whispered the words into her hair.

  Bailey shook her head where it rested against my chest. “It’s okay. I didn’t mind waiting.” Her voice was soft, surprised. “Are you alright?” She pulled back forcing me to do the same. I didn’t let her go, though. I didn’t want to.

  “Yeah.” I told her everything Coach Reno had just told me, about knowing my dad and about the college scouts.

  “Wow. Jamie, that’s amazing.” I knew she meant the words, but her eyes revealed the conflict inside.

  I knew how she felt because I felt the same. “Bales, what am I going to do? It was one thing to play for the season or even just a few games. But college?” I shook my head in wonder. “I’ve dreamed of playing college football most of my life, but I never thought it could actually happen. Especially, not after-” I stopped there. I didn’t want to say the words out loud. Even after all these months it was too hard.

  “I know, James. I know.” Bailey understood. She always understood.

  I leaned my forehead to rest against hers, keeping my hands firmly on her hips. “College ball, the chance of getting injured, my mom-”

  Bailey’s hands reached out to cup my cheeks and more than anything I’ve ever wanted, I wanted to kiss her. For real. Not noses or eyelashes. But a real kiss. A real kiss that had nothing to do with lists or lessons or even teenage hormones and had everything to do with how much I lo-

  No!

  I couldn’t love Bailey. Not like that. No commitments. No relationships. No broken hearts.

  Right?

  With a sigh, I covered her hands with mine and brought them between us. “We should go.”

  She held my gaze until I couldn’t do it anymore and looked away. I picked up my bag and plucked hers from her shoulder.

  Once we got to my car, without even thinking about it, I opened her door. We both kind of froze. I’d never done anything like that before. We weren’t a couple. This wasn’t a date.

  I decided not to comment as I stowed all of our stuff in the trunk. We promised not to be awkward, so once we were pulling out of the school parking lot, I tried to pretend I wasn’t freaking out and made conversation.

  “How’s the ankle?” She’d twisted it on Friday and missed practice.

  “Tender still. I had Allie tape me up.”

  Bailey’s fingers tapped against her knee to the beat of the song playing on the radio, drawing my attention to her hand, and for the first time in a long time, I wanted to hold a girl’s hand. And not just any girl, Bailey. It made me worried.

  It also made me think of the list I’d taken a picture of on my phone. Number three was next. In our next make out session, we were finally going to kiss with our lips, not on the lips, but we could kiss on any part of the other’s face. Bailey didn’t know it, but I cheated on Friday night. She’d fallen asleep curled in a tight ball against my chest. I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t. She was too soft. Smelled too good. Felt too amazing. And I took advantage.

  Not in a creepy way!

  I would never disrespect Bailey. But the temptation to indulge was too strong and I gave in to the urge to brush my lips in her hair. She never stirred when my arms tightened around her and my face burrowed against her neck. Her hair protected her skin from my lips, but I couldn’t resist the impulse to press them to the small space below her ear.

  I was getting too close. We needed to finish this. I needed to kiss her and get over her. These make out sessions needed happen as soon as possible. Like tonight. I just wanted things to go back to normal, back to having my best friend and no more worrying about kissing and making out with her.

  I parked in my driveway. Bailey didn’t waste any time opening her own door and getting out. I hurried to open the trunk and lift her bag out to hand it to her.

  “So,” I cleared my throat and wondered how my best friend of more than a decade could reduce me to acting like a middle schooler. “Wanna hang out tonight?”

  Bailey paused like a deer in headlights. “Um,” she hesitated and I had to resist the urge to reach out to smooth the small wrinkle between her brows.

  Gathering up a whole ton of false self-confidence, I took her hand in mine. “I was thinking we could knock out number three on our list.” Knock it out. Get it done. Move on. That’s what needed to happen.

  Bailey looked like she was trying not to swallow her tongue. “Um, yeah. We probably should.”

  “Okay. So, you’ll come over later?” My nerves jangled. I felt like I was asking her out on a first date.

  That was not going to happen.

  “Yeah, after dinner.” Bailey backed away and headed toward her own house.

  Watching her, I scrubbed my hands over my face. Suddenly, I felt completely worn out. I was lying to my mom and I was going to kiss my best friend. On top of it all, there were college scouts interested in me. For freaking football.

  What the hell was I going to do?

  Chapter 16

  Bailey

  Jamie was acting weird. He said he didn’t want to talk about it, but how was I supposed to ignore the way he was behaving? Opening my door. Holding my hand. Looking at me with that look. I didn’t even know what that look meant, but it made me feel like I was his prey. I didn’t hate it. In fact, it made my heart beat ratchet up until my entire body thrummed.

  We’d spent the whole weekend together and with Dallin. It had never been easy to hide my feelings for Jamie, but now, it was next to impossible. Things were different. In a way, I felt like my plan was already working, that maybe things were changing for Jamie, too.

  I’d been tempted to change myself. I was suddenly critical of my clothes, wondering if I should convince my mom I needed some new outfits, something different than the t-shirts and jeans I usually wore. Maybe put on more makeup. Start doing my hair every day. But I cast that idea aside. If Jamie was ever going to love me, he was going to have to love me for who I was and not because I was trying to turn myself into a popular girl clone. If that’s what he wanted, there were more than a few girls waiting in the wings.

  Which was why I decided that for our next kissing experiment, I would show up to Jamie’s just being me. I’d taken a shower before dinner and hadn’t done anything with my hair except run a brush through it. I didn’t want to deal with raccoon eyes in the morning, so I didn’t even bother with mascara.

  And now, I stood at the threshold of Jamie’s basement in a pair of athletic shorts, a V-neck t-shirt, Jamie’s hoodie, and no makeup other than my strawberry lip balm.

  Jamie answered the door dressed much like I was. His shorts were longer and he wasn’t wearing a sweatshirt, but I wasn’t complaining. The view of his t-shirt pulled snug over his muscles was one I was positive I’d never tire of.

  I’d never tire of his smile, either.

  “Come in.” He opened the door wide and stood aside to let me in. He’d been expecting me, but I still couldn’t just walk in.

  The room was dim, the only light coming from his big screen tv which was paused on one of our favorite movies.

  “I thought we could watch for a little bit.” Jamie gestured toward the television.

  “Yeah, good idea.” And it was. I felt nervous and anxious. Watching a movie was normal, something we did together all the time. Scheduling kisses wasn’t.

  He was prepared with water bottles and a bag of microwave popcorn. We both squeezed into the center of the couch and Jamie covered our legs with a blanket.

  It felt different with just the two of us without Dallin. I had practically zero dating experience, but this felt like a date. I was aware of Jamie, but that wasn’t unusual. What threw me was how aware he was of me. He made sure the blanket was tucked around my legs before settling ba
ck against the cushions. He handed me a water so I didn’t have to move from the cocoon I’d made for myself at his side. Instead of hogging the popcorn in his lap like he usually did, Jamie made sure it was in my reach between us.

  About halfway through the movie, he moved the empty popcorn container and our half drank waters back to the side table. He propped his feet on the ottoman and shifted closer to me. We were touching from shoulder to knee.

  A few seconds later, he shifted again. His shoulder was now in front of mine. Without questioning it, I wrapped my arms around his. He immediately threaded our fingers together.

  Emotion clogged my throat. I hid my face in his shoulder. His t-shirt felt clean and crisp against my skin and smelled so good.

  When I finally lifted my head, his face was turned toward me. Our eyes connected and I struggled to keep my breathing steady.

  There was no hope for my heart.

  Jamie reached up with one hand, his fingers tracing along my cheek before tucking my hair behind my ear. His face lowered a fraction then he paused. His eyes met mine and I waited.

  With a tenderness I never would have imagined him capable of, Jamie pressed his lips high on my cheekbone, just below my eye.

  I’d always wondered what it would feel like to be with Jamie like this. Wondered what his lips felt like, what his arms would feel like if he held me this way. Life hadn’t prepared me for this experience and my heart filled to overflowing. My bones went liquid and my body sagged against him.

  Jamie

  What was I doing? I wasn’t going to do this. My plan was to kiss her cheek a couple times, quickly, keeping my hormones in check. I thought maybe if we watched a movie together, things would feel more normal, more like they always did.

  Yeah, that didn’t work. Instead, it felt like a date. A date where, by the second, my anticipation grew exponentially until I was ready to combust if I didn’t just kiss the girl.

  Rein it in, Barnes!

  That was easier said than done. She smelled amazing. She looked adorable. She felt so soft and warm and like I just wanted to fold myself all around her, holding on forever.