“I’m sorry,” he rushed to say. “I had a whole thing I planned to say, but Bales, I’m just so sorry.”
Seeing him, being in the same room with him, all the hurt came crashing down. It was easier to forget when I was in my room or out at the swing set to rely on all my memories of the good times we’d had together. But here, in this room where we’d spent hours kissing and being close? It was much more difficult. I knew I had to be strong against the years of loving him and remember he’d hurt me. A single, no matter how heartfelt, apology wasn’t going to cut it.
I set the basket of chocolates down and crossed my arms over my chest. “Sorry for what, exactly?”
His hopeful expression fell a smidgeon. “Right. I deserve that.” His throat convulsed as he swallowed. “Are you hungry?”
“What?” Talk about emotional whiplash.
He gestured toward the table filled with food. “Let’s eat. We have a lot to talk about and I know I can’t wait to eat one of those rolls your mom sent over.”
“You had my mom make us food?”
He nodded. With his hand barely brushing my lower back, he led me over to the table. Pillows were piled on the floor on either side and Jamie motioned for me to sit on one side while he sank down to the floor on the other.
The plates were loaded with lasagna, probably his own mom’s recipe, and green salad with ranch, my favorite. A little basket in the center of the table was filled with rolls and I understood why my mom wouldn’t let me steal one earlier.
He’d really gone to a lot of trouble.
I wanted to believe this was real. That maybe this was a new beginning for something wonderful, but I was worried. Afraid.
“This looks so good.” And it did. I’d always been a fan of his mom’s cooking.
“Eat. I’m starving from practice.” He paused to shrug out of his suit coat and toss his tie over one shoulder.
“I can’t believe you dressed up.” He looked amazingly handsome, but it was completely out of character.
“I want to prove to you that I’m serious, Bailey.” He’d only taken a couple of bites of his food, but he put his fork down, anyway.
I followed suit, but wasn’t willing to relinquish my hold on a roll. “Serious about what?”
“Us, Bales. I’m serious about us.”
“Us.” I glanced at the poster covering his television. “Us going to Homecoming?”
He nodded, his eyes never leaving mine. “For starters.”
That pesky hope thing reared again and I had to squash it back down.
“I don’t understand.” My voice cracked with emotion.
Jamie sighed. “I know. I didn’t really, either. I’ve had to do a lot of thinking and figuring things out. The thing is, you were right.” His direct gaze bore into mine.
“I was? About what?”
The tips of his ears turned red. “About the NCMO thing,” he mumbled.
I raised one brow, but kept quiet.
Jamie sighed again. “You were, you were right about a lot of things, but especially about that. Especially when it comes to us. I can’t fix everything in my past, Bailey, and maybe I wouldn’t even want to because I’ve learned a lot this last year, but I am sorry. I shouldn’t have been so careless in the way I went about things.” He looked directly at me. “I shouldn’t have been so careless with you.”
He spoke the words I wanted to hear and more than anything, I wanted to believe him, but I was still afraid. He must have noticed my hesitation.
“I get it, it’s going to take time to earn your trust. And I’ll do whatever it takes. And I think the first step is to take you on a date, a real date.” He tilted his head toward the poster. “Will you go to Homecoming with me, Bales?”
Chapter 24
Bailey
What was I thinking? I should have just said no. How could I have not considered the spotlight I’d be under as Jamie’s date to Homecoming. Just as I’d thought he would be, Jamie was announced at the pep rally the next day as one of the nominees for Homecoming King. As his date, I would be required to attend all of the Homecoming events including the annual trip to Thunder City that would take place the next day.
“Come on, Bales, it’ll be fun. You love amusement parks.” Whispered in my ear as we stood in front of the principal as he announced the other nominees and their dates.
Amusement parks? Yes. Undue attention from the entire population of our high school? Not so much.
After the pep rally, Dallin joined Jamie and me for burgers at our favorite diner. Dallin was all up to date on everything that had happened between Jamie and I. I knew the slightly green tinge beneath both of Jamie’s eyes was due to Dallin and I was glad the two boys had gotten over their misunderstanding, which apparently had been about me. I made sure to give Dallin a big hug.
For the most part, things were back to normal. The glaring differences were the hand holding, moony eyes (Dallin’s words, accompanied by a disgusted glare), and the fact that Jamie had asked me to wear his home jersey to tonight’s away game. He was letting me borrow his car to drive myself to the game that was only ten minutes away. He asked me to wear it all day at school, but I wasn’t quite ready to deal with the fallout from his groupies and we still needed to discuss exactly where things were with us.
After finishing our dinner last night, Jamie and I snuggled a little on the couch. We didn’t kiss, although I was tempted, but we were close and we discussed some of the things that had been holding him back from wanting to commit to a relationship, even with me, who he confessed, he really did want a relationship with.
I wanted to believe him, but it was hard. Jamie knew it would be and he told me he was prepared to prove himself. The first step, he said, was to ask me to Homecoming. The next, was for me to wear his jersey. He said, he wanted everyone to know that he was committing himself to me. If I’d have him.
The decision was mine.
Pretty much I wanted to throw myself into his arms last night, but I held myself back. I needed more of this so-called proof if I was going to risk it all on my best friend, as much as I loved him.
After eating at the diner, we made our way back to the school so the guys could catch the bus. Dallin headed straight for the locker room, but Jamie stayed with me beside his car for a few minutes.
“This looks really good on you.” He plucked at the sleeve of his jersey on my arm.
I couldn’t stop the smile or the blush his words brought on. “I do like wearing your clothes.”
Jamie’s eyes flared with a heat I recognized from the times he’d kissed me and my heart beat faster with anticipation. As much as I knew I should keeping holding his feet to the fire, I couldn’t deny the desire I had to kiss him again.
“I like you wearing my clothes.” His hands on my elbows pulled me into his body. I breathed deeply the scent of him and it felt like coming home.
“Good luck tonight.” I wrapped my arms around his waist.
“Do I get a good luck kiss?” His smile was tentative and mischievous.
“I don’t know. Do you think you deserve one?” I’d meant the question playfully, but Jamie’s expression turned serious as his hands reached up to cup my face.
“No, I know I don’t, but I’m sincerely hoping one day I will.”
With every fiber of my being, I knew he meant those words and I made a decision. I knew Jamie wasn’t perfect and the chances of him breaking my heart again were high, but I did love him. And I desperately wanted to kiss him.
“I’m not sure I can wait that long,” I teased just before touching my lips to his.
I caught him smiling, but he was quick to catch up. With a soft groan, Jamie kissed me back. As familiar as his kiss felt, it took my breath away and I wanted nothing more than to stay right where I was, kissing him for the rest of the night.
But we couldn’t do that. He had a game to play.
I pulled back just a little and he leaned down to follow me, keeping our lips connected. I gi
ggled, breaking their seal.
“It’s been too long since we’ve done that.” His arms came around me again, holding me tight against him.
I allowed myself to relax against him and another thread of hope wove through my heart. I never would have believed my best friend capable of the pain he’d inflicted these last couple of weeks. But maybe that was why I could find it in myself to forgive him. I knew, deep down, I knew that wasn’t him. NCMO Jamie wasn’t the Jamie I loved.
“Good luck, for real, tonight.” I knew this meant a lot to him. He’d told me about his talk with his mom about football. And I knew about the interest he was getting from schools.
“Thanks. I’m so glad you are going to be there.” We’d also talked about how much he missed me at last week’s game. He confessed to feeling bad that he hadn’t been able to make to any of the cross country meets because of football, but I understood. It meant a lot, though, that he even thought about it.
Jamie brushed a sweet kiss across my forehead before leaving me to head into the locker room.
Maybe, just maybe, things were going to be okay.
The visitors section was packed. This game was always a big one every year against our across town rivals. They were also undefeated this season and so this game packed an extra punch for both teams since only one of them would walk away still undefeated.
I found a seat between two girls from the cross-country team. An unforeseen benefit to Jamie defecting to the football team was that it forced me to look outside of him and Dallin for friends. I was glad to get to know Marissa and Katelyn better and had been sitting with them at lunch as well as hanging out with them at practice and during meets.
“Woohoo, look at you!” Marissa smiled, nodding toward Jamie’s too big jersey I wore over my jacket as she held her hand up for a high five.
And dang my stupid red hair if I didn’t blush bright pink. Both girls laughed at my expense and I joined them, because I was that happy.
It was cold and I was glad I remembered to grab a blanket from Jamie’s trunk. I spread it over our laps and prepared to cheer on my two best friends, one of which I hoped I would get to spend some time this evening snuggling.
“So, are you guys like a thing now?” Katelyn asked with a huge smile. We’d talked at length about Jamie and his noncommittal ways.
“I think so. We’re going to Homecoming.” I bit my lip to hold in the smile those words brought on.
“I know. I about fainted when I saw you up there with him during the pep rally,” Marissa said.
Oh right. I’d forgotten about that. The whole school knew I was going to Homecoming with Jamie and now everyone would know I was here at this game wearing his jersey. Was that Jamie’s plan? Was that how he was going to convince me to trust him? By announcing to the world we were together?
I could think of worse things to happen.
Jamie
We were undefeated. The emotions on the bus heading back to the high school were running high. It was loud. It was rowdy. And it was the most fun I’d had in a long time. Runners just didn’t get this kind of excited. The rush was something I knew I’d remember for a long time.
Try as I did, I couldn’t stop looking at Bailey in the stands. It was like I had to keep reassuring myself she was really there. A lot of students from our school had shown up since we weren’t that far from home and she sat between some girls from cross country she’d made friends with. I was glad to see her make friends beyond our trio.
We’d agreed to meet back at the school after the game. The bus going to Thunder City was leaving early in the morning, but I’d talked Bailey into coming to the party celebrating our fourth win in a row. My plan was to saturate every social event with Bailey at my side. I wanted to prove to her and to everyone else that we belonged together and that it was what I wanted. As long as Bailey wanted me at her side, I’d be there.
She was waiting for me when the bus pulled up. Dallin was going to drive himself. Bailey’d taken off my jersey, but she looked amazing in a pair of skinny jeans and a long sweater. Her long auburn hair was pulled back in a high ponytail that she’d curled and hung down to the middle of her back.
“You look gorgeous.” She’d always been pretty, but now it was like everything about her called to me, drawing me in.
Bailey ducked her head shyly. “Thanks.”
She came willingly into my arms and felt so good once she got there. I’ve been so dumb, so blind, not to see what was right in front of me. I realized committing to a relationship with Bailey was so easy. I dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
“Should we go?”
She nodded, but neither of us moved.
“Now?”
She nodded again, her arms wrapping tightly around my waist. I wasn’t complaining. Keeping my arms around her, I yanked lightly on her ponytail, tipping her face up to meet mine. The look in her eyes told me everything I needed to know.
My heart hammered against my ribcage as I lowered my lips to hers. I tasted her strawberry lip balm and it sent my senses reeling. Kissing has always been fun, but kissing Bailey was a whole new ballgame. Deepening the kiss, I held her as close as she could get until we were both breathing unevenly.
“Wow,” I whispered, resting my forehead to hers.
“Yeah,” she sighed.
I wanted to just stay right where we were and keep kissing, but I had a plan to earn Bailey’s trust and her thinking I just wanted to kiss her wasn’t going to help with that.
I grabbed her hand. “Let’s go.” I held open the passenger door, closing it once she was situated before hopping in on the driver’s side.
For the first time ever, I wished I had a truck with a bench seat so Bailey could sit right next to me. Instead, I made do with holding her hand. “We won’t stay long. Big day tomorrow.”
She shrugged. “It’s fine.”
“Are you excited about Thunder City?” I knew I was.
“Yeah, we always have fun there.” We usually went with Dallin, though. Tomorrow would just be us. Like a date. Honestly, our first date. I couldn’t wait to spend the whole day, just the two of us.
Was that what falling in love felt like? Wanting to spend every minute with another person? Anxiously waiting for the next time you got to see them?
I didn’t know. But that was how I felt about Bailey. The two weeks we were barely talking had been awful. I missed her. I didn’t realize how much I’d come to rely on her and rely on our relationship. I could live without Bailey, but I sure didn’t want to.
Chapter 25
Bailey
The party was rocking by the time we arrived. The house was full and people were spilling out onto the front lawn. Jamie helped me from the car and then held my hand as we walked up to the front door. People greeted him like he was a celebrity.
When the crowd threatened to separate us, Jamie put his arm around my shoulders and kept me close. It should have felt weird being like this in front of everyone, but it wasn’t. Instead, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
“Wanna dance?” he asked after we’d been at the party for an hour or so.
“I’m gonna find the bathroom first.” I left him talking to a group of guys from the football team.
Of course, there was a line for the bathroom. I wasn’t familiar with this house, so I didn’t want to go looking for another one.
“It’s not like he’s going to be her boyfriend or anything.” The voice came from directly behind me as I finally made my way into the bathroom and I recognized it right away. Erica. There was no way she thought I couldn’t hear her. My cheeks burned and I was dying to say something to her, but I just closed the door and went about my business.
Jamie was waiting for me when I emerged from the bathroom. Erica and her friends were falling all over themselves to get close to him. I made a decision right then, I was not going to let them make me feel like I didn’t deserve Jamie or that I wasn’t good enough for him. I was more than good enou
gh for him. At this point, he still needed to prove to me he deserved a chance.
And he came a long way toward doing that when he spotted me and his face lit up with a smile.
“There you are.” He took my hand and pulled me in close.
“Sorry, the line was long.” I let my head fall to his chest.
“Still up for that dance?”
I nodded.
“Okay,” he murmured against my hair before turning to his groupies. “Sorry, ladies, I’ve got a date with my girlfriend on the dancefloor.”
Too stunned to say anything, I followed him to the crowd dancing in the center of the room. It was crowded and we had to stand close, which was fine by me. It wasn’t a slow song, but Jamie still pulled me into his arms and swayed to the beat.
“Why didn’t you put those girls in their place, Bales?” he asked softly against my ear.
“What was I supposed to say? They’re just dumb, anyway. I don’t care what they think.”
“I care.” He pulled back just enough to be able to meet my gaze. “I want them to know I’m your boyfriend and you’re my girlfriend.”
“Is that what we are?” Because I wasn’t sure. Right? Had we even talked about it?
Jamie stopped moving, his hands settling on my hips as he spoke. “If you have to ask that, then I haven’t been clear. I know I still need to prove my commitment to you, Bailey, but I am committed. If you want me to be, if you want us to be. I don’t just want a date to Homecoming, I want you to be my girlfriend. Will you?”
My heart threatened to beat out of my chest. I’d hoped this was where things were leading after last night, but I wasn’t sure. The moment felt almost surreal, I’d been waiting for so long for Jamie to see me the way I saw him, and it was finally happening.
“Yes. Yes, Jamie, I want to be your girlfriend more than anything.”
The concerned expression on his face evaporated into a smile. “Thank goodness!” He wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up off the ground. Our gazes locked and his head lowered toward mine-
The Perks of Kissing You (Perks Book 3) Page 17