Clarity

by Claire Farrell

  My entire family had battened down the hatches. Uncle David actually took time off work to come to the hospital. Apparently, he was convinced my mother would try and take over, maybe persuade me to take off with her, or even make some vital medical-related decision.

  “He’s not on life support, David,” I tried to remind him.

  “You don’t know that woman, Perdy. She’d try anything, the devious little—”

  “David!” Stella’s sharp voice cut him off.

  He glanced at me as if seeing me for the first time and groaned loudly. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. Listen, I know she’s your mother, but somebody needs to be on Stephen’s side. I’m his brother, and I have his best interests at heart.”

  “So do I,” I said softly.

  Stella squeezed my shoulder. “We’re here for you, too. Whatever you need to happen, we’ll support you, even if that means you want Meredith around.” She glared at her husband, silently warning him not to open his mouth.

  “It’s fine, really. I can deal with her.”

  That was a lie, though. The problem was that, technically, my parents were still married because they had never gotten a divorce or an official separation. Stupidly. Oh, so stupidly. So there were two teams, Team Meredith and Team Dad. Team Dad consisted of David, Stella, and an embarrassed Erin. She didn’t know where her place was in the situation, and I couldn’t blame her for feeling awkward. All of the family’s dirty laundry was being aired right in front of her. Team Meredith consisted of a surprisingly meek Gran and my mother.

  I couldn’t understand why my mother was back. She hadn’t been interested before, so what had changed so drastically?

  I barely had a chance to mope about Nathan and his family, or even worry about the werewolves attacking again, with all of the drama at the hospital. The nurses tended to stand beside Erin, but some were sticklers for the stupidly backward rule that said a marriage, even a failed marriage, made my mother a part of the family, and Meredith was determined to take advantage of that. I had no idea why she was hanging around, why she would even want to visit her estranged ex other than to make life awkward for Erin.

  Dad was still extremely weak and pale, but as long as I could avoid looking at the massive bandage around his neck and shoulder, I could convince myself that everything was fine. There was talk of calling his malady a blood disorder, but I still had the strong sense that nobody knew what was happening. They were all hoping it would go away by itself, and Dad seemed to be improving despite the treatments rather than because of them.

  Joey and I hung out in the hallway while his parents spent time with Dad. They wanted to talk to him about my mother, and I definitely didn’t want to be around for that conversation.

  “You coming back to school soon?” he asked.

  I had to roll my eyes. “Trust you to think about school.”

  “Nah, it isn’t that. Nathan and Amelia keep stalking me; that’s all.”

  My stomach did a little flip. “What do you mean?”

  He scratched the back of his head. “Nathan’s saying he’s grounded so he can’t come see you. He says he’s been calling the hospital. They seem worried about you.” He glanced around the hallway. “But they aren’t here.”

  I picked at my bracelet. Nathan had gotten the clasp fixed because my losing it all the time bothered him. “No, they aren’t here. I can’t see being grounded stopping him from doing anything.”

  “I think he might have gotten kicked out of school, too.”

  “What? Why?”

  Joey grinned. “He broke Aaron’s nose. He never came back to class afterward, so the rumours started that he got expelled. I asked Amelia, but she didn’t know anything about it.”

  “I can’t believe he did that. Aaron’s always winding him up.”

  “Yeah, well, it gave everyone something to gossip about for the afternoon. Abbi told me it was Aaron’s fault. Probably was.”

  “Abbi?”

  “Yeah. She’s my partner in science. Anyway, she said Nathan’s been acting weird all week. But she was shocked, because he’s usually the peacemaker. You should have seen him. He looked crazy. I thought he was going to beat the crap out of Aaron. Then the principal got involved, and Nathan looked shocked himself, like he blanked out or something.”

  The door opened. Stella poked her head around it. “Perdy, can you come in here for a minute please?”

  I exchanged a look with Joey before going into the room. It couldn’t be anything good.

  Dad cleared his throat, looking nervous. “Perdy, I can’t stay in hospital forever. Erin and I have talked this over, and if your mother’s still in our house, I’m staying with Erin when I leave here.”

  “But… what about me?”

  He wouldn’t look at me. “I thought you might need some time to get to know your mother again.”

  “Are you…? You’re totally ditching me!”

  “I’m not. This might be good for you. The way you’ve been acting lately—”

  “I can’t believe I’ve been sitting here worrying about you, and all you’ve been doing is figuring out ways to get away from me. Well, thanks for nothing.” I stormed out of the room and down the hall.

  Joey followed me. “What’s going on?”

  “He’s going to live with Erin. He’s leaving me with my mother.”

  “Perdy, wait. It probably isn’t like that.”

  “I need some air.” I hurried away from him. I needed to get outside before something else in my life went completely wrong. I didn’t want to be around my mother. She was a complete stranger. Nathan wasn’t the Nathan I knew anymore. I couldn’t trust his family. Wild werewolves out to get me were running the streets freely. And my dad was dumping me because I couldn’t act like a normal person. I couldn’t worry about so many different things at once.

  Feeling as though my head might spin right off my shoulders, I burst through the side doors, hoping to find a quiet spot to catch my breath. Drizzle was beginning to fall. The sun had stopped shining on the day of the memorial. It felt right, as if the Earth itself knew how I felt. I had been so worried about my dad, but the way he looked at me was different since he woke up, as if he knew something, but couldn’t come out and say it. I felt him slipping away, felt myself losing everything to the werewolves.

  A vicious snarl snapped me out of my thoughts. Wiping my eyes, I turned around slowly, every inch of my skin feeling a sudden chill.

  Her.

  Her cold blue eyes pierced my heart. Her lips curled back, revealing those fangs, the ones that had hurt Dad, the ones that had hurt Nathan.

  “Get away from me,” I whispered, unable to move. There was nothing around to hit her with, no real way to defend myself.

  “Perdy!”

  “Joey, get back inside,” I shrieked as the werewolf turned her gaze to him. No way. She wasn’t getting to another one. I took a step toward her without thinking, but Joey grabbed my arm and pulled me back toward the door. She followed, keeping her eyes on us. I didn’t expect to make it inside. I expected her to pounce, but a flash of russet raced in front of me. The red wolf. He faced her, snarling and snapping, as if protecting us. It made no sense.

  Joey pulled me inside, and she ran. The red wolf glanced back at me, his intense amber eyes meeting mine through the glass. I pressed my hands against the door, unable to look away. Then he fled, his shoulders dipping as he pursued her.

  Shaking, I let Joey push me into a chair. I sat there while he ran for help. I wasn’t too sure of myself after that. A nurse tried to convince me I was in shock, but I wasn’t. I was too used to the danger to be in shock.

  “I’m fine,” I said firmly, pushing away everyone who crowded around me. I let them all talk about dealing with the wild dogs and headed back outside to see if any wolves were still hanging around.

  “That didn’t look like a dog.”

  I tried not to jump at the sound of Joey’s voice. “That’s because it wasn’t,”
I murmured.

  “What’s going on, Perdy?”

  I laughed. “Trust me. You really don’t want to know.”

  “Things have gotten really weird.”

  “You have no idea,” I said, but I was unsure of myself, because what I had just witnessed hadn’t made a bit of sense. “It looked as if he was protecting us.”

  “What? The second one? Yeah, well, I mean, it was going after the other one. It could easily have come after us, too.”

  “But he didn’t.” I couldn’t get the image out of my mind. Why would the red-haired man try to protect me? Why hadn’t he pounced on me, too? The expression in his eyes… it reminded me of the woods, when it had seemed as though he hesitated.

  But what did it really mean?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Nathan

  When I returned to school, most of the team ignored me. It didn’t upset me as much as I expected. The people I hung out with were a means to an end, always had been. Whichever school we joined, I picked out the most powerful group and did whatever I had to in order to fit in. I didn’t care because I knew that once they accepted me, nobody would find anything strange about me. It didn’t matter how strange I was inside. They would never see it once I became part of their group. That was my safety net. That was how I coped. I became whoever they wanted me to be, and it worked.

  Until Perdita.

  Walking into my first class was unbelievably awkward. All eyes were on me. I could almost hear the questions running through their minds. I had given them a glimpse of the real me, and they were as excited as they were horrified.

  I gazed at Perdita’s empty seat, feeling hollow inside. Abbi waved me over, and I slipped into the seat next to her, grateful to have someone on my side.

  Dawn turned in her seat to face me. “Everyone’s saying you got expelled.”

  “Everyone’s wrong. Obviously.” I glanced sidelong at Aaron, almost feeling bad about the purple rings under his eyes.

  “I’m glad you didn’t get into trouble,” Abbi murmured.

  “Me, too. I’ve enough on my plate right now.”

  “Yeah, I heard about Perdy. Is she okay?”

  “What do you mean? Are you asking about her dad?”

  She stared at me in confusion, and then her expression cleared. “You haven’t heard?”

  My breath caught in my throat. “Heard what?”

  She lowered her voice. “People are saying those dogs attacked again. At the hospital. Everyone’s talking about that so much they’ve half-forgotten about you and Aaron.”

  I jumped up and ran out of the room, ignoring the teacher’s angry cries for me to sit down. My wolf was burning to break free. I had to find out what was going on before I lost control again. Sniffing the air, I found my target. Joey was sitting in a free class, studying. I rushed in, pulled him out of his chair, and dragged him outside, ignoring his protests.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I demanded.

  “What? What the hell is wrong with you?”

  I let go and bent over, breathing heavily. I had to keep calm. I couldn’t keep losing control so easily. “Perdita. What happened to her?”

  He backed away as though I might be diseased. “Nothing. Will you relax?”

  “Then why is everyone—”

  “Nathan. She’s fine. I was with her. Nothing actually happened.”

  “The wolf. Was the wolf at the hospital?”

  He gave me a funny look before nodding. “Two of them. One chased the other away.”

  “Not possible. Oh, wait.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “A black wolf or a brown one?”

  “Nah. The vicious one was kind of cream-coloured. The second one was that kind of fox colour. I didn’t know wolves came in that colour, but everyone’s telling me they’re dogs.” He stared at me as though waiting for something.

  “The red one chased the other? That makes no sense.”

  “That’s what she said, too.” He studied my face for a few seconds. “Look, that’s what happened. Perdita’s fine. Everyone said she should be in shock, but she wasn’t. She didn’t call them dogs either. Same as you.”

  “Forget it, Joey.”

  He held up his hands. “Fine. I’m going back to class then.”

  “Wait! Is she still at the hospital?”

  “I don’t know. Probably.”

  “I need to see her.”

  “Then maybe you should calm down first. She won’t want to see you like this. Trust me.”

  He left me in the hallway debating my options. I had none, except plead to my grandfather yet again.

  The second wolf. Joey had to have imagined that. Unless it was one of my family, and they hadn’t told me. But he was sure it was red. Yet it couldn’t be. Then again, anything was possible. Opa had proved that.

  I ran home, not stopping once. I blasted through the front door, surprising everyone in the living room.

  “Did one of you see Perdita yesterday at the hospital?” I blurted.

  “Of course not,” Byron said. “What’s going on? Why aren’t you at school?”

  “That isn’t important right now! Point is there were two wolves at the hospital yesterday. After Perdita. Everyone’s talking about it. How long are you going to let this go on? When are you going to act? When another of us feels the way you do? Is that what this is? You want me to know what it’s like for you?”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about, boy,” Opa said.

  But he faltered, and I grabbed onto that. “Take back the order, Opa. I need to see her now.”

  He shook his head.

  I felt something stir in me at his weakness. My wolf. My own power. “Take it back!” I shouted.

  When he refused again, I stared him dead in the eye, unflinching. “I won’t let you keep me away from her anymore.”

  He said nothing, and my wolf pushed harder. I felt a chunk of myself disappear as his order lifted. Finally, the curse proved stronger than the alpha. It pushed me out of the pack and away from his control. I was alone… except I wasn’t, not exactly. I still had Perdita and the invisible connection between us, which would lead me straight to her.

  I turned and ran. None of them tried to stop me. I kept running until I made it to the hospital. I ran past security, instantly catching Perdita’s scent. I knew she was there, and my heart drummed in my chest at the thought of seeing her.

  I turned a corner and saw her walking out of a room. She looked puzzled, as if she knew I was there, too. She saw me, and her expression changed. I didn’t wait. I ran to her, and we both collided into a wall. I held her for a few seconds, both of us breathing heavily at the sensation of being reunited. The curse was powerful, powerful enough to go against my own alpha.

  She held my gaze, unmoving while I basically crushed her against the wall, and everything fit into place. Everything was okay. I leaned my forehead against hers, heaving a sigh of relief at the sense that everything was much, much better with her back in my arms.

  “Hi,” I said softly.

  “You’re late.” Her voice trembled, and her fingers clung onto my arms.

  “Sorry. Won’t happen again.”

  She grinned then, and everything, all the fear and anger and frustration, wiped away. I had her. That was all that mattered. She was safe, and I was free to do what I liked.

  I nuzzled her face, enjoying being next to her, and she turned her head and kissed me full on the mouth. Her scent filled my nostrils, satisfying the wolf. I stifled a moan.

  A nurse pulled us apart. “Young man, what do you think you’re doing up here? Running past security like a little gurrier! Go on out of here now.”

  “He’s with me.” Perdita smiled sweetly, and my heart flew up into my mouth at her words. How had I let my family come between us for so long?

  “You have five minutes. Then he’s out of here,” the nurse said, but she had a little smile on her face as she turned away.

  “Sit down over here.” Perdita led me to s
ome plastic seats, and I relaxed with her leaning against my shoulder.

  “I missed you,” I said against her hair. “I acted like a right div the last time I saw you. It’s been driving me crazy.”

  She shuddered next to me, but her arm reached around my stomach, and I knew she didn’t care about that anymore.

  “How’s your dad?” I asked.

  “Okay. Still pretty weak. They haven’t really figured out what’s wrong, but he’s getting better. They really need the bed, so they’re letting him out soon. He’s going to stay with Erin.”

  “Where does that leave you?”

  “Homeless, if that’s the only option other than living with my mother.”

  “I just ran away from home, so we can be homeless together.”

  She grinned up at me. “I don’t mind the sound of that.”

  “I spoke to Joey. What exactly happened here yesterday?”

  “She came back. But the other one stopped her. He got in her way and blocked her.”

  “It has to be a trick.” I couldn’t believe that he would help. He had fought against us and even stalked Perdita for ages. There was no way he could be on her side.

  “I don’t know,” she said slowly. “He chased her away. I don’t know what would have happened otherwise.”

  “It won’t happen again,” I promised. “My grandfather commanded me to stay away from you. I’m so sorry, but he’s acting like he wanted all of this to happen.”

  “He changed when Lia died,” she said. “I don’t think he knows how to be without her.”

  “He didn’t have to do that to you and me, though. I’ve been going crazy trying to get in touch with you and being half-afraid to in case you hated me. I feel so bad about your dad.”

  She shrugged, but the worry lines on her face increased. “He’s okay, or he will be. He’s mostly weak right now.”

  “Opa thinks it’s because of the wolf bite.”

  She stared at me. “What? He’ll turn into a wolf?”