Famished (The Broken Series)

by Ellie Messe

  A small smile tugs at the corner of my mouth, “Love you too, Sunshine.”

  “You nail some new face almost nightly. You never chase a girl. You never give her a second thought. You don’t bother to learn anything about her other than her name. And you’re the condom companies’ main source of income. So, tell me why you not only chased this girl, but decided to keep her all to yourself? How come you text this girl all the time, and went as far as asking Maria to put together her room?”

  “I don’t text her all the time, and how did you know about the room?”

  “Maria and I talk, stupid. And don’t lie. You were texting her on Christmas and then like some love struck teenager you were checking your phone every five seconds. Even when I was in Georgia you were talking about her. And Parker said you couldn’t keep your eyes off her when he was there. Let’s not forget the tattoo either.”

  “That was all to get laid.” I roll my eyes.

  “And since when do you put that much effort into a girl when you know damn well you could get three more by the snap of your fingers?”

  “Three women with the snap of my fingers? Jesus, sign me the fuck up. I’d never leave my bedroom.”

  “I’m serious, Drew.”

  “No shit, so am I. That would be heaven.”

  “You’re looking me in the eye and telling me you don’t see her any differently than the other woman you’ve fucked?”

  “Well, no, but I mean I live with her.”

  “So? Doesn’t mean you’d see her as anything more than an easy lay.”

  “I have a lot more respect for women than that, thank you very much.”

  “That’s not the point.” She growls in frustration. “You’re gonna sit here and tell me that you ending this has no effect on you whatsoever? That because of one night, that you could’ve changed by the way, you can walk away like she was just another face at HEAT?”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.” I shrug. “Let’s just drop this.”

  “No.” She juts her stubborn little chin out, “Josh told Maria that you watch Emma in the club when you think no one's watching. And that he’s worried you’re going to get in a fight with someone when they talk to her. She also told me that you literally carried her off the dance floor one time. Since the day I started at HEAT, you tell me every detail of your sex life and you have yet to mention anything at all about her. I wouldn’t have even known you guys banged if it wasn’t for Parker telling me that you got caught on camera with her at HEAT. You care about her and the fact you won’t admit it pisses me off because I think you’re fucking up a good thing.”

  “Why are you getting so bitchy? Parker not wake you up with dick or something?”

  “No, you’re running and after all the shit you gave me I’m mad that you’re not willing to take your own advice.”

  “I’m absolutely taking my own advice. Get off and get out.” Okay, so that’s Emma’s motto but I’m claiming it as my own.

  “You’re being dumb.” She angrily sighs, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were in love with her.”

  I scoff at the thought, “I’ve known her for like a month or some shit, I am not in love with Emma.”

  “I’m not in love with you either.” A familiar voice says from the doorway.

  I twist to see Emma standing in the threshold. A tan paper bag in her hands.

  “Did you know she was there?” I stage whisper to Haley who shakes her head. Uncomfortably tucking her arm closer to her body.

  “What’s up?” I ask Emma, standing to block her view of Haley.

  “You didn’t eat before you left and I knew you’d be here all day so I ran out and got you all food.” She extends her arm showing me the fast food bag.

  Taking it from her, I pass it back to Parker. “Thanks.”

  “Yup. How are you feeling?” She looks around me to Haley.

  “Fine, thanks.”

  “Good.” She pulls back and looks at me before gently nodding to the hallway, “Can I steal you for just a second?”

  “I uh,” Looking over my shoulder, I try to think of a lie, “We’re kinda busy.”

  “No, we’re done.” Haley says, looking over the items Parker’s pulling out of the bag, “He’s all yours.”

  Fucking medler. “Alright, yeah.”

  Following her out, I try to keep an air of separation from us.

  “So, I’m not trying to rile you up or anything, but that guy you were yelling at last night is here with some blonde and a kid. I heard him trying to get information about Haley from the nurse.”

  “Kaylan’s here?” I look over her shoulder to see that he is in fact here, standing just where she said he’d be with a woman holding a toddler.

  “I just thought I’d tell you in case he’s not supposed to be here.”

  “No, I appreciate that thanks.”

  “Okay, well Lynch is outside so I’m gonna go. If you guys need anything just let me know.”

  “That’s it?” I swear to the man above, that was supposed to be an internal thought.

  “Yeah, why else would I pull you out here?”

  “Thought you were gonna try to bring up this morning.”

  “Oh, no. I told you that I wasn’t going to take it personally, so I’m not.” She shrugs and gives me a small smile, “I’ll be around if you need anything.”

  “I meant what I said.”

  “I know.” She nods, “And so did I.”

  With another smile, she backs away leaving me alone in the hall.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Drew

  Turning around I jump back, “God damn. What the fuck are you doing?” I boom at Parker who’s perched against Haley’s door.

  “Eavesdropping.”

  “The fuck? Why?”

  “Cause Haley threatened to get out of bed if I didn’t.”

  “Jesus Christ. Nosey mother fuckers.”

  “I like her.”

  “I don’t care. Hey you hear her tell me about Kaylan?”

  He nods and looks down the hall.

  “What do we do?”

  “Let Hales make the choice.” He shrugs, “So you gonna go after her?”

  “Who?”

  “Who do you think? Emma.”

  “No. Why the fuck would I do that?”

  “You’re fucking this up.”

  I scoff giving him a Haley eye roll, “I’m not fucking anything up.”

  “Yes, you are!” I hear Haley yell from inside the room.

  “No, I’m not.” I sing back.

  “You’re a fucking idiot Drew Hayes!”

  “When you go on a date with Parker, then you can talk to me.”

  “Parker! Dinner when I get out of here?”

  “Deal.”

  “Oh, shut up.” I roll my eyes. “Kaylan’s here. What do you want me to do?”

  “I don’t know.” She says with entirely too much attitude.

  “You want me to kick him out or invite him in. He’s got some girl and a kid here.”

  She groans and I hear the telltale sound of her shoving back into the pillows, “That’s Caroline.”

  “Do we not like her?”

  “She’s fine, I guess.”

  “So what’s it gonna be?”

  “I don’t know, just leave him be. Go talk to Emma.”

  “I’ll talk to Emma when you talk to Kaylan.”

  “Fine. Send him in.”

  “Are you serious?” I ask, charging back into the room so I no longer have to yell through the doorway. “You’re that adamant about me talking to her?”

  “Yep.”

  “And what do you think talking to her is going to accomplish? I said I was done, I’m done.”

  “You’re not done.”

  “Oh, I think I am.”

  “You’re just upset and taking it out on her.”

  “Haley!” I lose my temper and step forward, “Let it go. I’m done.”

  “No, you’re not!” She yells
back, sitting upright. “What are you actually mad at?”

  “I’m mad that you won’t stop pushing this on me. She’s just some girl!”

  “Don’t fucking lie to me.” She growls, “You can lie to yourself all you fucking want but you will not do it to me. She did nothing wrong. She came to the hospital and sat by your side all fucking night, she went home with you and was there when you needed someone, and then after being a dickhead about it, she still came and brought you food. She deserves a god damn medal for putting up with your ass.”

  “For fucking real dude?” I take another step deeper into the room, “What the fuck do you know? You weren’t even fucking here. And you want to get all high and mighty about lying? Your entire fucking identity was a lie! I had to ask Parker to give you that apartment. It never dawned on you that you never had to fill out any paperwork? That you just magically got it with a fucking I.D? Then let’s go over the fact I can probably list off maybe twenty things about you that I know are real, everything else is a lie. So I’ll stop lying to you when you start telling the fucking truth. I’ll stop running, when you do.”

  “So you admit that you’re lying and running.” She smiles.

  “You’re a fucking mess, you know that?”

  “Be mad. You deserve to be mad.”

  “I am fucking mad. I’m mad you feel the need to push shit on me that you have no understanding of because you weren’t fucking here. You weren’t here, Haley. You left.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you? Because I don’t think you do. Did you know you’re the only person I’ve ever gotten close with since my mom died? Were you aware you’re the only chick I’ve trusted or loved since then? She left. You left. Why the fuck would I want to keep someone else around? To be left again? Cause I think you’ve got that part covered.”

  “Hey.” Parker says cautiously, gripping my shoulder, “You’re good, man.” It isn’t until that moment I realize I’m damn near close to tears again. “You’re good.”

  “You’re selfish, Haley.”

  “I know.” She sniffs, tears trickle down her cheeks as she looks at me with remorse. “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah.” I sigh. “Me too.”

  I turn to leave when the desperation in her voice halts my movements, “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing, Hales.”

  “I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You won’t.” I look over my shoulder to catch her eyes, “Cause I’m not selfish.”

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Emma

  I lied when I said Lynch was waiting for me. I guess I just got too comfortable with always getting a ride with the press of my fingers cause now I’m sitting on a bench outside of the hospital waiting for him to finish up at the bank across town.

  I’ve been fighting the urge to cry all day. I fucked up. Fucking up with good intentions is still fucking up in the end. I just wanted to help and I ended up making it worse. God, I should have just told him. It was stupid not to. I deserve his anger, I really do. I just wish I could fix it, take it all back somehow.

  Blowing out a breath, I watch a pair of passers-by walking to the entrance just as Drew walks out. Pulling myself in, I try to make myself invisible. Telling him Lynch was here, was a lie, but I really expected him to be able to pick me right back up since I was only here for a few minutes.

  He walks to the edge of the walkway before coming to an abrupt stop. Removing his hat, he throws it across the parking lot, running his fingers through his hair. His fingers lock behind his neck as he stares across the parking lot. I try to follow his line of sight but I can’t make out anything of value. His shoulders rise and fall with every heavy breath. For a moment I think maybe he got into it with her brother again until he lets go of his neck to pinch the bridge of his nose, slowly sinking to sit on the curb.

  My heart breaks for him, I wish I could make this better for him but I know this isn’t a moment I’m supposed to see. Slowly, as to not call attention to myself, I draw my legs up and give him my back, as I draw my phone up.

  ME: Hey. Give me warning before you get me.

  With the sun in front of me I’m able to see Drew off the reflection of my screen. He’s got his arms across his knees, his face buried against them.

  LYNCH: Alright. I’m finishing up here. Probably be there in ten.

  Ten minutes, I don’t imagine he’ll still be sitting here then, but just in case I look around trying to find somewhere I might be able to camp out in.

  “Hey, Emma.” Maria smiles at me as they approach the curb.

  “Hi,” I say, trying to land somewhere between casual and quiet enough to not make Drew look over.

  “Were you not able to get in?” She asks growing closer.

  “Oh, no. I was. I’m just waiting for my cousin, he had to run a quick errand.”

  “Oh, well why don’t you wait inside?”

  “Is that Drew?” Josh asks.

  Like the little liar I am, I turn to look over my shoulder, “Where?”

  “Drew?” Maria calls, abandoning us to approach him. Josh is quick to follow and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.

  Maria kneels down to his level while they have a rushed conversation. I stand up and awkwardly step forward while wiping my palms on my thighs.

  Drew stands and let her hug him while he nods at Josh. Maybe just maybe he won’t see me. Just as that thought hits, his eyes land on me.

  I suck my bottom lip in and wave. Confusion clouds his tortured face but he makes no move to approach me so I just continue standing here, checking the time on the face of my phone just to give myself something to do.

  Movement catches my eye but I refuse to look up, busying myself with a fake text to Lynch.

  “I thought Lynch was giving you ride?” Drew’s voice says from my side.

  “He is.” I tell him, waving my phone at him, “He just had to run to the bank. He’ll be here in a minute.”

  Locking my phone, I slide it back into my pocket. And sneak a peek at him. He looks miserable.

  “You okay?” I ask even though I know I shouldn’t.

  “Fine. Got into it with Haley.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You’ve been out here the whole time?”

  “Yeah, I was sitting down,” I point over my shoulder the metal bench, “Waiting for Lynch to come back.”

  “You headed home?” I nod, “I’ll take you. I’m headed there anyway.”

  “You’re not staying?”

  “No. If you want a ride, come on.”

  Turning around he starts across the street. Jumping forward, I pull my phone out and send a quick text to Lynch telling him not to worry about picking me up as I climb into the passenger seat of the truck.

  “Can I help?”

  He shakes his head before pulling out of the parking spot. “I just need to sleep it off.”

  “Okay.” I nod more to myself as I look out the window, my fingers tying knots around themselves as we travel the rest of the way home in silence.

  Entering the house, Drew walks silently towards his room before halting under the arch of the kitchen, “Am I wrong?”

  “About what?” I ask, moving slowly past the couch.

  “About this morning?” He still has his back to me, his eyes downcast to the kitchen floor.

  “I don’t know.” I answer honestly. “If our roles were reversed, I’d probably be just as angry if not angrier.”

  “Do you want this to be over?”

  “I understand why it is.”

  “That’s not what I asked you.” He says, turning around to face me, “I asked if you wanted it to be.”

  Pulling in a shaky breath, I shake my head. “No.”

  “Would you move out if it was?”

  My shoulders raise a fraction before falling, “If you wanted me to I would.”

  “I didn’t stop.” He says looking away again, “At some point, I knew I wasn’t wearing a condom and I didn’t stop.�
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  “You have a lot on your mind.”

  “That’s not an excuse.” He says, his tone raising an angry octave. “I was so mad at you this morning and you didn’t call me out for it.”

  I give another shrug, “I understand why you didn’t.”

  “Can you explain that to me? I’m not asking to start a fight, I genuinely don’t get it. You said something similar this morning about me needing something and I still don’t know what you think that was.”

  “I thought you needed someone to trust you.” I say gently, “That you needed control after feeling powerless, and if I had stopped you, you would have lost that element of control. But mostly… I thought you just needed to forget.”

  His head nods for a minute, his tongue lashing out to wet his bottom lip. “I’m sorry I took my shit out on you.”

  “I’m not upset with you.”

  “You should be.” He looks up and I can see the truth in his eyes, it’s just a truth I don’t agree with.

  “I’m not. I’m upset with myself. I tried to help you and I made everything worse.”

  “No, you didn’t.” He shakes his head wildly, “I did. I blamed you for something I didn’t stop, and I took everything that happened with Haley, my anger that she left, the frustration with her and Parker’s drama, my devastation that I almost lost her, everything; and I put it on you.”

  “I don’t mind carrying it when your hands are this full.”

  “It’s not your responsibility to.”

  “And it’s not yours to carry the weight of the world either.”

  “I’m a strong guy, I can handle it.”

  “Yeah, but… maybe you give it to me for a little while. Go take a nap, jackoff, watch some stupid sitcom for an hour. Just… let me take it for a little bit, I think you’ve been holding on to it for a little too long. Even the strongest get tired sometimes.”

  “If it was that simple, I think I might take you up on that offer.”

  “What do you need me to do?”