Those Summer Nights

by Ivy Smoak

  He let go of the glass and leaned even closer to me. “Across the country would have been hard. But I thought I made my intentions pretty clear the other night.”

  “You said that I was yours. I don’t know what that means.”

  A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “It means I’m not going to pull the plug on us just because the weather changes. I really really want to spend as much time together as we can too.”

  I smiled at his comment. I knew he was trying to appease me, but it wasn’t as simple as time. We were running out of that. “It’s more than the weather. Even if I do get into the University of New Castle we’ll still be living in different states. You said you didn’t do long distance.”

  “That was before you. And if we have to spend weekdays apart for a year, I can handle that if you can.”

  “Just weekdays?”

  “You’ll just be a train ride away. I can swing that.”

  “So…what does that make us?”

  “You’re exasperating.” He pulled me into his lap, not caring that the restaurant was packed around us. “Jellyfish Girl, will you be my girlfriend?”

  “Hmm.” I was smiling so much it hurt. “I think I can swing that.”

  “You can, can you?” He tickled my side sending me into a fit of giggles.

  I would have kept laughing if he didn’t silence me with a kiss. Everyone around us faded away. It was just me and my lifeguard. No…my boyfriend.

  “So what are you trying next?” he asked and tapped my glass. The kiss left me dizzy, but he still seemed perfectly composed.

  “What else has tequila in it?” I asked.

  “Margaritas…”

  “Bad idea. I talk too much when I’ve had margaritas.” I pressed my lips together. I hoped that wasn’t a general tequila thing. Oh God, it probably was. But the bottom of my glass meant I had already committed to a night of tequila. And who cared if I had loose lips around J.J.? I had been myself around him since the start and he liked me enough to date me.

  “Good to know,” he said. “That sounds like the perfect drink for you.” He waved at the bartender.

  “No,” I said with a laugh and grabbed his arm. “What else has tequila?”

  “Mojitos.”

  “Oh perfect. Unless…what’s in a piña colada?”

  He laughed. “That would be rum.”

  “Ah. I’ll just have a mojito then.”

  I’m pretty sure whenever I tasted tequila from now on I’d think of him.

  Chapter 24

  Saturday

  Our fancy date was amazing. We sampled cocktails and talked about everything from what sports he played as a kid to what my favorite book was. But a night out on the town wasn’t really us. It made sense that we wound up on the beach, albeit a little tipsier than usual. My high heels dangled from my hand and he’d rolled his pants up so they wouldn’t get wet.

  “The stars are so bright tonight,” I said and spun in a circle. It was hard not to spin in this dress. The skirt lifted in that perfect way. And I felt so giddy and light tonight.

  “Beautiful.”

  I looked over at him. But he wasn’t looking at the stars. He was staring at me. “You’re cheesy,” I said. But I didn’t really mean it. His compliment had me smiling so big.

  “That doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful.” He tucked me into his side like I had always belonged there.

  “Christmas or Easter?” I asked. We’d been asking each other silly questions like that all night.

  “Christmas. The Easter Bunny always used to freak me out.”

  “Me too! What kind of creep hides out in a bunny costume and lets children sit on his lap? Talk about furries combined with pedophilia.”

  “Maybe the same creep that dresses up as Santa,” J.J. said with a laugh. “Minus the furries thing.”

  “Huh. I never thought of that before.” I wondered if it was the same guy that played both at the mall near my mom’s house. It was hard to tell if they were even a similar height because of the big floppy ears and everything.

  “I have an idea,” he said and looked down at me. “Maybe we can use this game to help you choose a major.”

  I stared at him skeptically. “Or we can just keep staring at the ocean.” I pulled him to a stop and looked out as far as I could see. The water blended with the dark blue sky in the distance. Suddenly I felt so small. Like my major barely mattered. That it didn’t have to be the hardest decision in the world. It was just a small choice in the grand scheme of things. But…my mind was still blank. I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to be when I grew up, which was starting to get tedious because I was already an adult.

  “Accounting or finance?” he asked.

  “Umm…” Just choose. Flip a coin. Leave it to fate.

  “Marketing or econ?”

  “Ugh neither.”

  “Philosophy or sociology?”

  “No.”

  “Political science or whatever a teaching degree is?”

  I laughed. “I don’t know. Why is deciding what you’re going to do for the rest of your life so freaking hard?”

  He kissed my temple. “Because the rest of your life is a long time. What if you knew you’d only have to do it for five years? Then what would you choose?”

  “None of the above.”

  J.J. laughed.

  “Do you have a coin? Maybe I can just let the fates decide.”

  “Are you a believer in fate?”

  I looked up at him. A few months ago, the answer would have been an easy no. But now? I had wound up on the other side of the country next to his lifeguard stand for a reason. It was like we needed each other. Maybe I was here to show him that long distance could work. And he was here to show me that not all men were utter garbage. If we hadn’t met, would I still be hung up on Aiden? Would he still be scared of commitment? “I think when life is good, it’s easy to believe in fate. But when it’s bad, it’s a little trickier.”

  “So right now?” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. It immediately blew back in my face from the light ocean breeze.

  I smiled up at him. “Right now I’m a huge believer. What about you?”

  “There were so many ways in which this summer could have played out differently where we never would have met. I mean, you could have stayed in Cali. I could have gone straight to New York. I’m just happy we’re standing right here together.”

  I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. “We were a long shot. But I’m kind of liking our odds now.”

  “Me too. So let’s both be believers in fate. Flip a coin. What major would be heads and which one would be tails?”

  “God, I can’t even narrow it down to two.”

  He laughed.

  “I know I have to figure it out. But nothing seems as glamorous as staying here.” We both stared out at the water. The stars reflecting on the surface shimmered in the night.

  He sighed. “Tell me about it.”

  “I just want to stop time and stay in our little Rehoboth bubble forever.”

  “Well, you said forever. So it’s not a commitment issue.”

  I looked up at him. “No, it’s not a commitment issue. I just don’t know if I’ve tried the right major yet. And now I’m running out of time.”

  “Hmmm. Engineering or math?”

  I laughed.

  “I’ll help you figure it out this summer. I promise.” He pulled me closer, resting his chin on the top of my head.

  I’d spent my whole life trying to figure it out. But he seemed rather sure of himself. And I believed his promises. When his arms were around me, I felt so safe and secure. I pressed the side of my face against his chest. His heartbeat was the only sound I loved more than the ocean.

  We stood like that for a long time. His arms wrapped tightly around me, both of us staring out at the water.

  “Is it ridiculous that I’m starving?” he asked. “The portions at that fancy restaurant were so freaking small.”
<
br />   I laughed. “I have the perfect thing for that.” I grabbed his hand and led him back up to the boardwalk. We made our way through the Saturday night crowds.

  My apartment was dark as we walked up the wooden steps. Kristen had kept her promise to spend the night out, and the thought made my heart race. I was going to be alone with J.J. all night. That was a first for us. For the past few nights I had crashed at his place, but his roommates were always around. I didn’t even know if he’d want to spend the night. Maybe he preferred to sleep alone in his own bed. Or maybe he did something really weird in his sleep like yell profanities or sleepwalk naked. Honestly the last one didn’t sound so bad to me. It would give me time to really study his body without him even realizing I was staring.

  “It looks like your mind is going a mile a minute,” he said.

  “What?” I laughed as I pulled out my key. “Hardly.”

  He grabbed my hand before I put the key into the lock. “We can go out for dessert if you want. I wasn’t expecting for your place to be empty. I just wanted to get to know you better, Jellyfish Girl.”

  He was acting like we hadn’t already had sex. We were only going to be in the same state for another month and a half. I wasn’t going to waste any time on going slow. But I loved the fact that he was a gentleman. I shook my head. “We need time to figure out that rolling pin.” I felt my face flushing. Why was that the thing I said? I had no idea what do to with a rolling pin besides…roll it. On a counter. For baking. I quickly opened the door as he laughed.

  “It smells really good in here,” he said.

  I flipped on the light switch. “Girly shampoos and body lotions probably.” I had a love of fruity aromas. I dropped my high heels on the floor and walked toward the kitchen.

  “No. It smells like an Italian restaurant.”

  “Oh.” I laughed. “That’s why we’re here. To eat.” I pulled the lasagna out of the fridge.

  “Is it?” He walked over to me. “I could think of a few other things I’d rather do.” His eyes wandered down my body.

  “I forgot to thank you for my dress!” I didn’t know why I was suddenly nervous around him. “It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever gotten me.”

  “It would look even better off.” He took another step forward.

  Holy shit. The hunger in his eyes was palpable. And my lasagna was the most delicious thing in the apartment, not me. “Are you sure you don’t want me to warm you up some lasagna? I made it this afternoon and I promise it’ll be the best thing you ever put in your mouth.”

  He didn’t respond. He just stopped right in front of me and cocked his eyebrow. Apparently he didn’t believe in my cooking skills. Or else he was thinking about eating something else entirely. I was pretty sure he was looking south of my waist. I gulped.

  “Do you know why I liked this dress in the store?” I asked.

  He lifted his gaze back to mine.

  “It’s the same color as your eyes. You know, I’m not even drunk and I feel like I’m on the top of the world. I haven’t felt this light and free since…God, I don’t know. Since I was a kid?”

  He smiled at my comment. “Why are you so nervous? You’re acting like we’ve never been alone before.” He took another step forward. I took a step back and my ass hit the side of the kitchen island.

  “I’m not nervous.” I was, but I had no idea why. For some reason tonight felt different between us. Better. Bigger. My heart started beating faster as my eyes wandered to his lips and then the tan skin exposed at his neck. I wondered if it would be salty like it was after he worked, or if he tasted differently when he was all dressed up. Oh fuck. My eyes locked back on his. Tonight felt better and bigger for a reason. God, I’m falling in love with him.

  He reached out and ran his fingers from my jaw, down the side of my neck. I shivered under his touch.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said.

  “I don’t know…I…” I tried to search his eyes to see if he was feeling as caught up in us as I was. There were a million reasons to keep my mouth shut. Every man in my life before him had treated my heart carelessly. And it was too soon to feel the way I was feeling. But I didn’t want to have secrets from him. “Well, Jaime Jamison.”

  He laughed. “That makes it sound like I’m in trouble.”

  “No, I’m the one that’s in trouble.”

  “Is that so?” He grabbed my waist and lifted me onto the counter. “Have you been a bad girl?” His fingers trailed up the insides of my thighs.

  The moment to tell him was gone. He’d taken my words in a completely different direction. And it was too soon. My heart was still learning how to trust again. We needed more time together before I let myself fall for him. Besides, I kind of liked the new direction. Although I really hoped he didn’t try to Thanksgiving turkey my ass. I wasn’t sure it would be able to handle such a thing. “So bad,” I whispered. “Are you going to punish me?” I hooked my hands behind his neck.

  He groaned.

  I thought for sure he’d be whipping out the rolling pin, but then he kissed me slowly. His hands were gentler than they’d been before as he slid my dress up my thighs. I hadn’t said I was falling for him, but he was acting like I had said it. Maybe he felt it too.

  I kissed the side of the neck and was happy that he tasted the same even when he was dressed up. He tasted like summer.

  “You’re so gorgeous,” he said as he pushed my thong to the side with his thumb.

  I moaned when he touched me where I needed him the most.

  “I need you, Mila.” He sounded as desperate as me. Drunk on the moment.

  Maybe that was better than him saying he was falling for me. Because it had been a really long time since someone had needed me. And the words felt amazing.

  I unbuttoned his shirt and he made short work of his pants. I splayed my hands on his back, drawing him closer.

  Yes, him saying he needed me was wonderful. But him thrusting inside of me was better than any words.

  He slowly pulled back out and then bit my earlobe as he thrust back in.

  God, yes. I tightened my fingers on his shoulders.

  He didn’t have to say anything else, because I felt it. I’m falling in love with you too, J.J.

  ***

  “Mila, you were right. This is the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

  I laughed. He was just starving. He hadn’t even let me warm it up. I’d pulled it out of the fridge and he’d grabbed a fork and dove in.

  “I’m serious. You should do this for a living.”

  “Do what? Make lasagnas?”

  “Cook. I don’t know. What else do you know how to make?”

  I shrugged. “I love cooking all sorts of cuisine. American of course. Classic burger and fries. There’s nothing better than homemade fries. And I think the ones I make are a little healthier because I bake them instead of frying them. Also I love Greek food. Japanese. Italian. French. Korean…”

  “I’ve never even had Korean food before.”

  “It’s good. I’ll make you something with gochujang sometime. It’s the perfect level of heat.”

  “I don’t even know what you just said…but…if everything you make is this good, then I’m serious. You should start a restaurant.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t start a restaurant.”

  “Why not?”

  Why not? “I haven’t taken any classes.”

  “Who cares if you’re self-taught as long as it tastes good?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know…probably the bank. There’s no way they’d give me a loan to start a restaurant without the proper degree. Or money for that matter. Besides, you just heard how unfocused the cuisines I like are. I wouldn’t be able to choose. And also…I just…restaurants are risky.”

  He smiled. “Do you love cooking?”

  “Yeah, but…”

  “No buts. I went over a lot of different majors with you and you said no to all of them. What about culin
ary arts?”

  “I don’t think they offer that at the University of New Castle.”

  “So finish a business degree to make sure you can handle that side of it.”

  “I hate all the business classes I’ve taken.”

  He shook his head. “Then go to a culinary arts school if you want a fancy degree.”

  “I can’t start over. My dad is only paying for one more year and I’m so broke it’s not even funny.” I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I need to choose something more practical.”

  He suddenly looked sad. “Practical isn’t always the best option, trust me. I think the answer is right in front of you. You just have to choose how you want to get there.” He took another bite of the lasagna and groaned. “So freaking good.”

  I pressed my lips together. He loved my food. So did Kristen. And cooking really did make me happy. I watched the sadness melt from J.J.’s eyes as he took another bite. He chose the practical path and he wished he could go in a different direction. But how could he ask me to take such a huge risk when he hadn’t? I didn’t want to roll the dice on my life. Or flip a coin. But the pieces of my life weren’t going to just magically fall into place. I had to make a choice.

  And there was something so satisfying about a man who meant so much to me loving my food. It warmed something inside of me. Or maybe it was the fact that he believed in me when I’d found it so hard to believe in myself.

  Chapter 25

  Monday

  When J.J. and I weren’t soaking up the sun together and dancing the nights away, I’d been spending most of my free time thinking about what he had said three weeks ago. And cooking. So much cooking. J.J. could put away a ridiculous amount of food. His compliments made me truly believe I could do something with the one hobby I loved. The answer had been right in front of me. I’d just been too blind to see it.