Alienated

by Melissa Landers

  “You okay?” She tried to lean against him while they walked to homeroom, but he veered off to the side.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Then why won’t you look at me?” Grabbing his sleeve, she stopped him in the middle of the crowded hall. “Are you mad? You know, about yesterday?”

  Aelyx heaved a sigh and finally turned to face her, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I’m not angry.”

  “So we’re all right?”

  “Yes, Cah-ra. Why wouldn’t we be?”

  Not Elire. Cara. All the air disappeared from her lungs. She knew a brush-off when she saw one. That sick, swelling feeling returned, the one she’d felt when Tori stabbed her in the back, but even though tears stung her eyelids, she forced them away. She would not cry over this. Not while he was watching.

  Instead of embarrassing herself any further, she turned on her heel and gave him the space he obviously wanted.

  Several hours later, after mindlessly scanning her Dartmouth application for the fifth time, Cara gave up and tried to get a head start on tomorrow’s math assignment. When she couldn’t focus on that, either, she opened her copy of Jane Eyre, hoping to escape thoughts of Aelyx. But no matter what she did, she couldn’t quit fixating on him.

  With a sigh, Cara glanced around the classroom. Most of the students hunched dutifully over the same history exam she’d finished half an hour ago. The clock on the wall read 11:37, just three minutes later than the last time she’d checked. The day felt so long without Aelyx to distract her. Sliding her gaze to the side, she watched him pretend to read his biomaterials textbook. Although he appeared thoroughly absorbed, he hadn’t turned a page in ten minutes.

  When the bell finally rang, she asked Blake to escort her to the computer lab and then take Aelyx to the cafeteria. She needed to update her blog and, quite frankly, she couldn’t take any more of the silent treatment.

  “We’ll stay with you,” Aelyx insisted. “I’m not hungry anyway.”

  “Then maybe you should hang out in the library,” she retorted. “And read.”

  In true rejectionist fashion, he ignored her, following along with Blake until she reached the lab and settled at the end of a vacant row. “Pull up a chair.” If you can stand to get that close. “I need a random fact for Trivial Wednesday.” He sat at the same workstation but kept twelve inches between them and leaned away like she smelled bad. “How do L’eihrs say good-bye?”

  “We touch the side of the throat with our first two fingers.”

  Wow, they sure had a fixation with throats. “To take each other’s pulse, like—” You did to me yesterday? She cut herself off just in time.

  “Oh.” He punctuated the awkward silence with a fake cough. “No, just a simple touch and release.”

  The central blog site came up, and she entered her login and password. “That’s all I need,” she said in a cool voice. “You can go.”

  “I’ll wait.”

  What was his deal? He’d snubbed her, so why was he acting like a stage-five clinger? “There’s no reas—”

  An error message appeared on the computer screen. At first, she thought she’d entered the wrong password, but upon closer inspection, she found karma had decided to gut-punch her when she was already down. What had she done to deserve this?

  This account has been deactivated due to violations of our terms of service.

  “Damn it.” She hadn’t violated anything!

  “What’s wrong?” Aelyx leaned one precious inch in her direction to read the screen.

  “They killed my blog!” Nearly a million followers—poof, gone, just like that.

  “Yow.” Blake joined the pity party, peering over her shoulder. “What’d you do?”

  “Nothing.”

  She hadn’t posted about the L’eihrs’ weaponry, population size, or anything they might not want to divulge publicly, so the government wouldn’t have shut her down. All she’d discussed was L’eihr customs, mutations, and breeding-related advances. That wasn’t a big deal, was it?

  Apparently someone thought so, and she had no way of finding out who.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Culturally speaking, what’s the biggest difference between life on Earth and yours back home?” Mr. Manuel absently dealt study packets to the class, busywork to keep them occupied while he focused on his only love these days: Aelyx.

  “I could list our similarities faster than our differences, since we have almost nothing in common.” Aelyx leaned forward in his seat and rested his forearms on his knees.

  Cara wanted to smack him. She was tired of being ignored.

  “Basically,” Aelyx continued, “our only goal from the moment we’re born until the moment we die is to serve L’eihr. We’re raised, educated, and trained together for no other purpose. Here on Earth, your only purpose is to please yourselves.”

  “Nice.” She lightly kicked his boot, and it felt surprisingly good. She should’ve done it harder. “I’ll remember that the next time I’m tempted to blow off my plans because you need a ride to the nature preserve.”

  Aelyx flinched and got that guilty look on his face—the same one she’d seen every day since he’d given her the cold shoulder.

  “You’re right,” he conceded. “I shouldn’t generalize.”

  Aelyx admitting he was wrong? She wished she knew what was going on inside that supposedly evolved head of his.

  “You mentioned harsh punishments and executions,” Mr. Manuel said. “But if your generation’s so flawless—”

  Cara muttered, “Aelyx likes to think he’s flawless.”

  “—why’s it necessary?”

  Aelyx tightened his jaw and shot her a look that said his patience was waning. Good. It was about time.

  “There hasn’t been an execution on L’eihr in nearly two hundred years,” he told Mr. Manuel. “But offenses punishable by death include unauthorized breeding, assault, theft, insubordination—basically any crime that goes against The Way.”

  “So,” Mr. Manuel said, “if The Way makes up your central government, who carries out the laws in each district?”

  “A military force similar to yours.”

  “What about corruption?” Mr. Manuel asked. “Who keeps them honest and accountable?”

  “Remember,” Aelyx said, “it’s impossible to lie during Silent Speech.”

  He made it sound so perfect, like allowing the government inside your head was a good thing. Cara couldn’t stay quiet any longer. “What about the right to privacy?”

  “What about it?”

  “Um, you don’t have any.”

  “If you’re looking for Utopia, Cah-ra,” he said, matching her snarky tone, “you won’t find it. Not here, and not on L’eihr. Sacrifices are made for the greater good.”

  “Well,” she argued, “how can you justify killing your own people, especially since you’re so evolved? Most advanced nations on Earth abandoned capital punishment years ago.”

  Aelyx shrugged one shoulder. “Execution’s a logical solution as well as a punishment. If an individual can’t live within the parameters of society, it’s best to remove him or her from it. I’d prefer a quick death to imprisonment or exile. I find your system of incarceration cruel.”

  She had a hard time buying that, especially considering he didn’t believe in the afterlife. “What about The Way?” she asked. “Who chooses them?”

  “After our assessments,” he said, “the most gifted children are selected for The Way, but they don’t serve until after their Sh’ovah Day. There are always ten members, and each one continues to serve until a more talented citizen’s found to replace him.” He nodded at Cara and added, “Or her.”

  She shook her head. What a horrible way to live. “Isn’t there anything democratic about life on L’eihr?”

  “No.” He said it unapologetically, as if equally unimpressed with her government as she was with his.

  “And you’re really okay with that?”

  “Of course.
”

  He had to be lying. “I can’t believe it doesn’t bother you.”

  “What doesn’t bother me? The corruption within your system of government?” He tapped his textbook as if the proof lay within its pages. “The inefficiency? The uninformed masses choosing whichever candidate made the most outlandish promises?”

  “The lack of freedom, wiseass.”

  “Ah, freedom.” He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms, so cocky and sure of himself. “It’s overrated.”

  “How would you know?” she asked. “You’ve never tasted it.”

  “I’ve sampled enough. The simple truth is most people can’t manage total freedom. They make poor use of it.”

  “There’s no such thing as poor use—that’s the whole point. Any use is good use.”

  A dry, humorless laugh escaped his lips. “Oh? To bleach insults into your lawn and leave threats in your locker?”

  “We’re not free to break the law.”

  “Not technically, but your lax consequences aren’t much of a deterrent.”

  “Oh, please.” She flapped a hand. “Those hard-ass punishments didn’t keep you from rebelling. You just got whipped for it.”

  “Which kept me from rebelling further.”

  She rolled her eyes. What about his late-night trips into the woods? Innocent people didn’t sneak around under the cover of darkness. He’d been up to something since he came to Earth—she knew it.

  “Anyway,” he added, “it’s arrogant to assume the democratic method is best because it’s all you know.”

  “Aelyx makes a good point,” Mr. Manuel said. “There are countless systems of government in existence, and none of them is flawless.” He pushed his reading glasses atop his head and settled in a vacant desk near his star pupil. “L’eihr reminds me of one of our ancient societies. They were called the Sp—”

  “Yes, the Spartans,” Aelyx finished. “I knew you’d make that comparison. But you’re forgetting Sparta was a brutal warrior nation—quite savage, actually. Slavery, infanticide, ritual murder. L’eihrs aren’t aggressive.”

  “Right,” Cara said. “L’eihrs just strip your basic human rights instead.”

  Aelyx’s voice darkened. “They’re called human rights for a reason. We’re not human. Once again, you’re being arr—”

  “Time out,” Mr. Manuel declared, using his hands like a referee to form a T. “Maybe we should talk about something else.”

  She and Aelyx glared at each other.

  “I’ve wanted to hear more about space travel,” Mr. Manuel said. “What fuels your ships?”

  Cara knew the answer—an element called XE-2—and she had no interest in the new topic and even less interest in her study packet. She needed to get away from Aelyx and calm down before she smacked the fash out of him.

  “Can I go to the bathroom?”

  Mr. Manuel nodded. “Take the pass.”

  The bathroom pass, a rhinestone-bedazzled toilet seat designed to embarrass students and thus decrease requests to leave, hung on a nail beside the door. When she moved from her seat, Aelyx caught her wrist and released it just as quickly.

  “What about Officer Borsch?” he asked. “He should walk with you.”

  Instead of snapping, Why do you care? she scraped together a few crumbs of maturity and said, “I’m going to the bathroom, not to Beirut. What horrible fate do you think’s waiting for me in there? Death by toilet swirly?”

  “Fine.” He folded his arms across his broad chest. “If you’re not back in five minutes, I’m coming after you.”

  “Suit yourself.” She grabbed the jeweled bathroom pass, slung it over her shoulder, and stepped into the hall, closing the door behind her.

  As she ambled down the vacant corridor, she wondered for the hundredth time what Aelyx’s problem was. She knew he’d wanted to be with her that day in his room—the physical evidence was unmistakable. He’d even snagged her in the hallway for another covert kiss before dinner that night. But the next morning—

  Movement in her peripheral vision stopped Cara mid-stride, and she backed up, peering down the side hallway that led to her locker. A girl was standing on tiptoe, shoving a folded note through the door vents.

  A girl? She’d assumed Marcus was behind the threats.

  Cara pivoted on her heel and charged toward her locker, tightening her grip on the toilet seat in case she needed to use it as a weapon. Heat rose into her face and her pulse rushed with each step, but as Cara approached her locker, she recognized the girl’s blond curls.

  “Brandi?” She was behind the threats? They hadn’t been friends in a long time, but Cara thought she knew Brandi better than that. Maybe Marcus had put her up to it.

  At the sound of her name, Brandi’s head whipped around, gold ringlets slapping her cheeks. Her already wide doe eyes bulged in shock as she flinched back and then lurched forward again, scrambling to remove the folded paper still wedged in the locker vent.

  Trying to destroy the evidence? Oh, hell no!

  Gripping the toilet seat in both hands, Cara sprinted toward Brandi and used it like a battering ram to knock her aside. Brandi stumbled to the ground, landing right on her moneymaker, but she didn’t stay down long enough for Cara to tug the note free. Scrambling to her feet, Brandi charged Cara, crashing into her shoulder, and a full-on shoving match ensued, complete with hair pulling, swearing, scratching, and slapping. Finally, Cara threw the bejeweled hall pass at Brandi, distracting her long enough to push her backward. She faced her locker and tried to push the note all the way inside.

  It didn’t work. Brandi kicked the backs of Cara’s knees, causing her to collapse to the floor while Brandi grabbed the note and shoved it down the front of her skintight jeans.

  Ew. No way Cara wanted it now. She’d let Blake retrieve the evidence.

  Panting, Brandi pushed a snarled lock of hair away from her face. “That’s not for you!”

  Cara pushed to her knees and tried to catch her breath. “Then why’d you stick it in my locker?”

  “For Aelyx.”

  “Threatening him is just as bad!”

  Brandi straightened, her brows disappearing into her bangs. “What do you mean, threatening him?”

  “Oh, come off it. I know you wrote the other notes, Humanist.”

  “What other notes?”

  “You know, traitor bitch, I’m watching you.” Cara snatched the toilet seat, now missing half its plastic gems, off the ground. “Gotta say, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

  “I swear this is the only one,” Brandi insisted, pointing to her crotch. “But I won’t write any more.” She backed away defensively and added, “I just did it because he won’t answer my texts.”

  “Wait.” Cara wasn’t following. “What’s in that note?”

  “I…um…” Brandi retreated a step and swallowed hard. “Asked if he wanted to hook up sometime.”

  “That’s it?”

  Brandi nodded.

  “Then why’d you jump me?” Using the battered lid, Cara pointed to the sparkly battlefield where fake rhinestones littered the hall.

  Brandi glanced over her shoulder and lowered her voice. “Because you don’t know what Marcus would do to me if he found out. And my mom doesn’t trust Aelyx. She’d kill me if she knew.” She begged with her eyes and said, “Look, Cara. I know we’re not close anymore, but please don’t tell anyone.”

  Cara almost felt sorry for Brandi. It must suck to crave popularity so badly that you’d be willing to hang onto a controlling boyfriend just to win a cheap tiara and an extra mention in the yearbook.

  “Please,” Brandi said. “I’ll do anything. Just don’t tell.”

  “Okay.” Cara couldn’t say no. It was all too pathetic. “I won’t.”

  Brandi pressed a hand over her heart and exhaled in relief. “Thank you. And I swear I won’t do it again. I’m really sorry—I know you’re into Aelyx, too. That’s probably why he won’t text me back. He wants to be with you,
not me.”

  “Uh, yeah,” Cara lied. “But even if we weren’t…together…you can’t get with him. L’eihrs are acidic to humans, remember?”

  “Wait. So you two literally can’t do it?” She bit her bottom lip. “Not even with protection?”

  “Nope. We just cuddle a lot.”

  “How’re you gonna handle it when you go to L’eihr and see him with another girl? I mean, if you can’t do it, you can’t stay together. Eventually he’ll end up with one of his own kind.”

  Like Syrine, who sees into his soul. “It’s no big deal. We’re not serious.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m sorry about the, uh, note.” Brandi smoothed her hair and pointed over her shoulder. “I gotta get back to class.”

  While Brandi sashayed down the hall, Cara considered what she’d said. Aelyx would end up with one of his own kind—if not Syrine, then some other pretty L’eihr who could gaze into his eyes to talk. It only made sense. That shouldn’t bother Cara, but she couldn’t deny it did. A frozen bowling ball settled in her stomach when she imagined spending a semester on L’eihr as Aelyx’s third wheel—tagging alongside whichever female his leaders picked for him.

  She slumped against her locker, toilet seat in hand, hair in knots, and let herself brood a few more seconds before returning to class.

  After World Studies, she and Aelyx stood in front of her locker again, popping open its metal door as Officer Blake looked on.

  “What’s this?” Aelyx moved to cup her face but seemed to change his mind and instead pointed to the tender scrape Brandi had left on her cheek.

  “Nothing. Just scratched myself.”

  He pursed his lips dubiously, but then his gaze darted to the floor, where a sheet of paper had fallen facedown at their feet.

  “Don’t touch it.” Blake wedged between them, producing a gallon-size Ziploc baggie and a pair of tweezers. Once he’d bagged the evidence, he held it between them all to study its message. With a heavy hand that had pressed the ink nearly through to the other side, it warned: ACCIDENTS HAPPEN, ESPECIALLY ON THE STAIRS. STEP ON A CRACK, BREAK YOUR TRAITOR BACK. —HUMANIST