Chalice of Life

by R. A. Rock

“And he gave her some of his Starlight.”

  Ethan made a disgusted sound. “I don’t know how you Fae do that. It’s sounds so sick.”

  “Never mind that, Ethan,” Tessa said, feeling anxious about Finn. She didn’t know him very well but he seemed like a good guy and she didn’t want anything to happen to him. “Melisende said he probably just needed some Elixir. She said we should get it at the Black Market. Have you heard of it?”

  “Not quite as bad as Styx, but almost,” Ethan told her. “Elixir regulations are pretty tight on Earth, and not much comes through from Ahlenerra. I’ve heard the illegal stuff is quite expensive. And poor quality.”

  “Oh,” Tessa said, suddenly wondering how they were going to pay for it. She had nothing.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it. I’ve got more money than I know what to do with.”

  “Thank you,” Tessa said as they arrived at the faerie ring. They stepped carefully into the middle. Finn was breathing shallowly and his eyes were still closed. “We’ll pay you back.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Ethan said as if he truly didn’t care. “Money means nothing to me. I have so much.”

  Tessa nodded but she wouldn’t forget the debt. And she would pay it back. When she willed the faerie ring to take them to the Passageways, the dizziness this time was overwhelming and she struggled not to puke. Suddenly, it was silent and she opened her eyes to see one of the rooms of the Passageways.

  “You got him?” Tessa asked Ethan.

  “Yep.”

  Tessa let Ethan take Finn’s entire weight as she wrenched open the door and ran down the hall until she found a tablet. Her fingers fumbled as she typed in Black Market.

  “Got it,” she said.

  “Go, I’ve got him,” Ethan said, not even seeming tired from supporting a full-grown man. “I’ll follow you.”

  It seemed like they walked the uniform, grey hallways for hours, though it was likely only minutes. They went through the door marked Black Market.

  When Tessa opened her eyes, they were in a market. It was in a huge room that seemed to be an enormous underground cave. The walls of the cave were made of black stone. Obsidian maybe. Down on the bottom of the cave, stalls squatted in an enormous rectangle, with another smaller rectangle inside it. They could see all this because they had arrived on a ramp that led down into the market. Maybe there was a door from the outside where you could access the place.

  “Black. Market.” Ethan said and Tessa turned to look at him. “That’s pretty literal.”

  “Where do we find the Elixir?” Tessa wondered.

  “Let’s go ask someone,” Ethan said.

  He stopped a shifter of some sort, and the woman pointed to the far end of the market. They made their way there in silence, Tessa too worried to speak.

  She glanced side to side as they walked through, surprised, appalled, and disgusted at the variety of odd and scary things you could buy here. One stall held bottles of something that looked suspiciously like blood. Another table had piles and piles of what she prayed were not unicorn horns.

  At one point, a man tried to sell her golden bullets, though she wasn’t sure why she would waste a precious metal like that on bullets.

  A slender young woman approached them, tossing a sparkling powder in front of them. As they walked through it, the market faded and Tessa saw her and Ethan eating breakfast together and laughing. He kissed her on the cheek and she smiled at him.

  Tessa blinked and the vision vanished.

  Ethan made a growling sound and the woman scuttled away.

  “Damn, drug peddlers,” he grumbled. “There it is.”

  “How will you pay for the Elixir?” Tessa asked as they approached the stall.

  “They take all kinds of payment. You can trade something valuable or pay in aurum Julius—that’s the vampire currency—or Starlight, though I don’t recommend that considering what’s just happened. They also take human money, either cash or digital.”

  “You’ve been here before?”

  “I’ve sent people here to get things for me.”

  “Ah.” Tessa spotted a sign hanging that read Elixir and had runes in Raillta, the ancient Fae language.

  “Why would someone write in Raillta?” Tessa wondered aloud. “Nobody speaks or even reads the ancient Fae language anymore, even in Ahlenerra.”

  “It’s mostly for the Earth beings,” Ethan said. “They love that shit. Let’s take him to that bench.”

  Ethan helped Finn sit down on a bench a little ways down from the Elixir stall.

  “Stay with him,” Ethan said. “I’ll get it and be right back.”

  Tessa was exhausted by the whole ordeal and all she wanted to do was sit here and let someone take care of her. But she couldn’t let Ethan do that, could she? She took care of herself. She didn’t know who she was, but she knew that.

  “I can do it.”

  “Of course you can. But why would you, Tessa? I’m here. I can go do it. You stay and take care of Finn. I’ll be right back.”

  Tessa stared at him, not wanting to depend on him. First, he was playing at being their bodyguard and helping them fight off those Shadow guys, and now, this? This seemed like a slippery slope of dependency that she didn’t want to go down.

  But what choice did she have?

  “Fine.”

  Ethan gave one sharp nod.

  Tessa huffed her breath out in frustration as he moved away.

  “There’s no harm in letting him help us,” Finn said, his voice weak. She could hardly hear him over the noise of the crowd in the market. Tessa felt a surge of relief that he was conscious enough to talk.

  “He seems like an okay guy, in spite of the way he treated us when we first met him.”

  "Yeah, he was a real asshole in the beginning. But I think you're right. Now that we know him a little better, he seems okay. What about Ignis' opinion?" Tess asked.

  "He's got an old grudge from years ago," Finn said, giving a minute lift of his shoulder that she supposed was meant to be a shrug. "People change. We should only base our assessment of him on our experience. It's not fair to keep him stuck in some old version of himself, when he wants to be better."

  "I agree," Tess said. "And besides, how can we trust Ignis to even give an unbiased opinion? He clearly hates Ethan, which means his beliefs about him are colored by his emotions."

  "Right."

  “How are you feeling?” Tess said, peering at his face.

  “I feel like I’ve been digested by a monster.”

  “He’s getting you some Elixir,” Tessa told him. “Melisende said it wouldn’t be high quality but it might keep you from dying.”

  “I shouldn’t have gotten so sick from the amount of Starlight I gave her. It doesn’t make sense.”

  “We have to get our memories back. Like this, we’re just fumbling around in the dark.”

  “I know,” Finn said, closing his eyes again as if he was terribly weary. “I hate it, too. But…”

  He stopped speaking and Tessa worried that he had passed out.

  “Finn? But what?” She slapped his cheek, needing to keep him awake.

  “But what if our memories…”

  “What, Finn?”

  “What if our memories aren’t good?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “What if we aren’t the people we think we are? What if we’re… bad people?”

  Bad people? No. She didn’t know about herself, but Finn couldn’t be a bad person. There was no way.

  “What if we’ve done bad things, Tessa? I don’t know if I want to know why we came to the Earthly Realm this way. What if it’s… terrible… what happened to us?”

  Tessa stared at him. She hadn’t thought of that at all.

  “I got it,” Ethan said, sitting down on the other side of Finn on the bench. He opened the plastic bottle of dark purple liquid and handed it to Finn. It didn’t change color. And it smelled off. Tessa hoped the damn stuff wouldn’t k
ill him instead of heal him.

  “I don’t think I can hold it,” Finn said.

  Ethan handed it to Tessa. She gave him a sip and Finn perked up immediately. After a couple more drinks, he could hold it himself.

  “Crisis averted,” Ethan said, giving Finn a smile. “Now let’s go get your memories back.”

  Tessa smiled, but after her conversation with Finn, she had a niggling doubt about whether this was a good idea or not.

  Who had she been before she had lost her memories?

  She was no longer sure she wanted to find out.

  Ethan, Tessa, Finn, and Ignis were in Ethan’s study. By the time they got back to L.A., it was evening. Doyle brought snacks and Ethan grabbed a guitar from where six or seven hung on the wall and threw himself on the couch, hooking one leg over the arm. He tuned it and then played soft chords as he listened to the conversation.

  “So, you got it?” Ignis said, his eyes lighting up.

  Tessa bent down and unzipped the pocket in her cargo pants, retrieving the ring and dropping it into Ignis’s outstretched palm.

  For a moment, doing so felt like a mistake. But Tessa pushed the feeling away. The ring was only a means to an end.

  “We got it, as promised.”

  He gave her a blinding smile and clutched his hand to his chest. Then he put the ring away.

  “Okay, let’s get those memories uncovered,” he said, rubbing his hands together. He reached into his suit pocket and produced two vials of bright orange liquid. “Drink this.”

  Tessa and Finn took the vials.

  “So we just drink it?” Finn said, looking a little nervous.

  “It’s a very basic potion. Your problem isn’t that hard to solve actually… if you’re a powerful mage. Like me.” He pointed to himself, and Tessa lifted her eyebrows at his conceit. Ignis gave a little shrug and went on speaking.

  “There’s magic clogging your brains from that disaster of a ride in from Esper. It’s preventing you from accessing the memories. They’re still there, just covered. This potion will wash away the excess magic so you can reach them once again.”

  “Sounds good,” Finn said, uncorking his vial.

  “May the Stars shine their light upon you,” Tessa spoke the blessing that all Fae used when they wanted to wish each other well. She uncorked her vial and held it up in a toast.

  “And also upon you,” Finn responded.

  Tessa lifted the vial to her lips and drank until it was gone and Finn did the same. It tasted like lemons and oranges. Then everyone was silent as they waited for the potion to take effect.

  Without warning, the memories came crashing back in, destroying Tessa’s hope that she was a good person. She remembered every person she had ever hurt. Every lie she had ever told. Every betrayal. Every deception. She remembered everything. All at once. And it was too much.

  “Shadows take me,” she cursed loudly.

  Dropping to her knees and covering her face with her hands, she burst into tears.

  Chapter 15

  “I don’t do crying women,” Ignis said, holding up his hands. “And I would like to reiterate that I detest faeries in general, these two notwithstanding.”

  Tess got herself together. Ethan had stopped playing when she burst into tears. But once he saw that she was recovering, he began picking notes out on the guitar again. She had to admit, the music was very fine. And she would have enjoyed it if she wasn’t so miserable.

  She wiped the warm tears from her face and dried her hands on her pants. Then she stood up. She could not believe she had lost it here in Ethan’s study in front of these men she barely knew. Well, except for Finn, of course. Stars above, she wouldn’t have survived a day in the Dark Court if she had done that when she arrived at Direwood castle.

  She glanced out the huge windows. The sun was down and the city lights were coming on. She took a deep calming breath, trying to reintegrate everything she had just learned about herself. She knew now that she had done a lot of good in her life, too. But somehow when her memories came back, the bad ones had all come to the forefront and overwhelmed her.

  “I’m sorry about that. I really appreciate you helping us like this, Ignis. I know you didn’t want to.”

  “It was no trouble, Tessa. You kind of remind me of Rebekah a little bit.”

  Tess gave him a faded smile.

  “And you did get me the ring,” he reminded her.

  “Right,” Tess said. “Well, I was the Captain of the Guard for the Dark Queen for centuries, so I would imagine I have a lot in common with Rebekah. That’s probably why I remind you of her.”

  Both Ethan and Ignis were startled by this revelation. Ethan stopped playing again.

  “I mean, she’s a warrior, too, right?” Tessa said, not sure what was so shocking about her statement.

  “She is.” Ignis stared at her for a long moment, as if trying to combine what he knew of her with this new information she had revealed.

  “And yes, I did horrible things that I now remember in great detail,” Tess added.

  Ignis got a serious look on his face and he put his hands on her shoulders. “Your past doesn’t define you, Tessa. You decide what your future will be.”

  Then he let her go and clapped his hands, once more his cheeky self. Ethan strummed chords, humming quietly while Ignis accosted Tess with a myriad of questions.

  “So, what’s the deal? How did you get here? I want to hear all about it.”

  Tess and Finn exchanged a glance.

  “It's a very long story,” Finn said, as if he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell it.

  “Ethan’s an asshole. But he's an asshole with a chef,” Ignis said, gesturing toward the man in question. “And we’ve got all night.”

  “Guess I’ll order us some supper,” Ethan said, ignoring Ignis' insult and pulling out his phone. They all made themselves comfortable on the couches and chairs that were set up in a square in one corner of the room. There was a fireplace there and Ethan made a fire, which Tess found comforting.

  “Okay, let’s hear it,” Ignis said.

  “Well, it all started with the Dark Queen giving us a quest to get these weapons called the Unity Blades. Finn already had a pair and she wanted me to get another.”

  “The trail eventually led us to Perdira’s Mire.”

  Ignis grimaced.

  “You’re familiar with it, right?” Tess said, remembering that he had said something about being stuck there.

  “I got thrown into it, so yeah. I’m familiar.” Ignis scowled. Then, inexplicably, he smiled fondly. “I have kind of a love/hate relationship with that place.”

  This seemed really weird but Ethan moved them on with a question.

  “Why would you go to Perdira’s Mire?” Ethan said. “I’ve heard that place is incredibly dangerous and… well… it’s a swamp.”

  “Right,” Finn agreed. “But’s it’s called Perdira’s Mire for a reason.”

  “What are you saying?” Ethan asked.

  “We're saying that she’s in there.”

  “Still? How could she still be there?” Ethan said.

  “Oh, she’s there, trust me. But she doesn’t really have a body anymore. She keeps herself alive by granting wishes for a price.”

  “I’ve never heard this,” Ignis said, bouncing a little on his leather chair and making it creak softly.

  “Well, it’s a tale heard at my grandmother’s knee,” Tess explained. “Just a story.”

  “But it turned out to be true?” Ignis said, fascinated by the story. “What’s the price for granting your wish?”

  “Giving up your heart’s desire,” Finn said, his face serious as he gazed at Tessa.

  “Wait, you didn’t have to…” Now all three of the men were looking at her, and you could have heard a spell drop in the room, it was suddenly so silent.

  “She did,” Finn answered for her. “To get the blades.”

  “So now each of you has a pair of these magical blades?”<
br />
  “That’s right.”

  Tess reached for her sides but nothing happened. Finn tried too. Still nothing. Ignis shook his head.

  “They’re in an Otherworld sheath?” he guessed and Tess nodded. “You won’t be able to get them out here on the Earthly Realm because there’s not enough ambient magic to work the sheath.”

  “Damn,” Finn said. Then he met Tessa’s eyes. “Go on with the story, Tess.”

  “So when we got back to the Direwood with the Unity Blades, the Dark Queen realized that she couldn’t outfit an army with them because there was no way the cowards that work for her would be able to go through what I went though,” Tess said, taking up the thread of the story.

  “Of course not,” Ethan said, studying her in a way that made Tess uncomfortable.

  “It wasn’t that big a deal.”

  “You almost died,” Finn pointed out.

  “But you saved me.”’

  “Yes,” he conceded.

  “Just in time to almost die getting the Otherworld sheath for me.”

  “True.”

  “Anyway,” Tess went on. “We went back to the castle, and the queen sent us on another mission. This time to capture the Keeper of the Scroll of Severance and get the Scroll if we could.”

  “Long story, short,” Finn said, with a slash of his hand. “Tess ended up the Keeper when he gave her all his Starlight, including, of course, his memories.”

  “You’re the Keeper now?” Ignis asked, his eyes lighting up. “Then you must have his powers too?”

  “What powers?” Tess said, in confusion. “I didn’t know the Keeper had powers.”

  “He most certainly did,” Ignis said, and they were all silent, thinking about this. Then Ignis started listing them. “Invisibility. The power of confusion. And in case of emergency, you can send the Scroll anywhere but it takes a lot out of you and you have to focus really hard to do it.”

  “Are you serious?” Finn said, incredulous. “That’s exactly The Tale of the Recluse. A story told to children. Like the Lady in the Swamp. You’re saying it’s real, too?”

  “Well, you probably thought the Lady of the Swamp was just a… wait for it,” Ignis said, obviously thinking he was hilarious.