Chalice of Life

by R. A. Rock

  Chapter 17

  Ethan glanced at the clock. Eight thirty. The night was still young. He stood in his study, not quite sure how to feel. He had helped the Fae get back their memories. And he had helped Ignis get that ring to protect Rebekah. That made him happy. But having to face what a jerk he had been to Rebekah. That had been unpleasant. Plus, finding out about Finn’s situation and knowing how he and Tessa must be hurting had been unpleasant as well He didn’t like that.

  It was all too serious for him. For years, he had avoided anything that had even a hint of seriousness to it. Now, since meeting these two Fae, he was embroiled in more than one serious situation. And it was all their fault.

  He had to admit that it felt good to experience something real, though. If he was being honest, he had been getting tired of cardboard feelings, cardboard people, and a cardboard life.

  It had been a while since he had had the real thing, and he kind of liked it.

  “First things first,” Finn said into the quiet, and Ethan jumped. He had forgotten Finn was still there. “You know how Fae can usually stay on the Earthly Realm for six months?”

  “Right, but you won’t have nearly that much time because your Starlight is already depleted.”

  “Exactly. I need to know how much time I’ve got, Ethan. Even an estimate. So I can make sure I get back to Esper before I run out.”

  Ethan pressed his lips together. More serious shit.

  But it was important to Finn, and Ethan was quickly coming to think of him as a friend, so that meant it was important to Ethan, too. Because that was part of what caring about someone meant. It meant you cared about what they cared about.

  “I don’t envy you, man. This is a tough situation.”

  “So, can you tell me how much time I have?” Finn pressed. “Is that something you can do?”

  “I think so,” Ethan said, tilting his head and examining Finn. Then he changed the way he was looking at Finn so he could see his magic, or Starlight as the Fae liked to call it.

  “Three weeks,” he pronounced. “Give or take a few days.”

  Finn’s jaw tightened and Ethan honestly felt for the guy. Ethan was practically telling him how much time he had left to live. The magical situation he’d got himself into was brutal and Ethan couldn’t see how he was going to get out of it alive.

  Ethan poured two glasses of scotch and handed one to Finn. They sat down on the side of the study opposite the table. There were two chairs facing one of the floor-to-ceiling windows with an amazing view of the city. An end table stood between the chairs and they set their glasses on it.

  “So you remember everything? No memories missing?” Ethan was curious in spite of himself. Obviously, neither Finn nor Tessa had remembered anything good in their recent memories.

  Finn downed the entire glass at once and he held it out to Ethan to refill. He poured again and gave Finn the glass. This time, he sipped it more moderately.

  “Yes, I remember everything. And I’m guessing Tess does, too.”

  It didn’t escape his notice that Finn had called her Tess instead of Tessa.

  “So, you’re Joined.” It was a statement, not a question, since that had already been established. But he thought maybe he would bring up the elephant in the room. Even before they’d told their story, it had been obvious that they had feelings for each other. The glances the two had exchanged had been intense to say the least. And now they were broken up. And Finn seemed to be hurting. So Ethan was trying to be a friend.

  “That’s right.”

  “Do you feel like telling me?” If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t really know how to be a friend. He’d had few in his long life. Maybe he’d never had a real friend. But he felt bad for Finn, and if talking about it might help, then he could listen.

  Finn nodded a few times, staring at his scotch and swirling it a little in his tumbler. “I might as well.”

  “Start at the beginning,” Ethan advised him.

  “It all started when there was a misunderstanding about some gambling debts.”

  “Misunderstanding?” Ethan said, an amused half-smile on his face.

  Finn grinned back at him, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “The Dark Queen’s advisor didn’t understand that when he lost, I was going to take his money. Then he went whining to the queen that I swindled him and she believed him and had me arrested. A Skransser caught me.”

  “That sucks,” Ethan commented, taking a sip of the scotch. “Ha. No pun intended.”

  “It really did. I got captured by the Dark Queen’s guard and they dragged me into the castle.”

  “You were Ransetta’s prisoner?” Ethan winced at the thought.

  “I thought I was going to die. Then I had this brilliant idea.”

  “I have a feeling it wasn’t quite as brilliant as you thought it was at the time.”

  Finn smiled, dropping his head. “Maybe not. But it’s how I met Tessa.”

  “What happened?”

  “I thought to myself, I can’t fight the whole guard. And then I realized that I could fight one guard, though.”

  “Not bad,” Ethan said, impressed. “That’s actually a good idea.”

  “Yeah, so I told Ransetta that I would fight her greatest warrior.”

  “What? And you thought you could win?”

  “Hey,” Finn said, frowning.

  “No offense, Finn. You can clearly throw a punch. But you thought you could beat her greatest warrior after you’d been dragged in and probably already beaten by her guards?”

  “What I thought was that I was desperate. And I would do anything to save my life and get out of there.” He took a long sip of his scotch. “I don’t know how Tessa survived for all those years.”

  “So you fought him.” Ethan brought his attention back to the tale he was telling. “And then Tessa tended your wounds and you fell in love?”

  “What?” Finn said, actually laughing out loud. “No, Tessa was her greatest warrior and she almost killed me.”

  “You’re kidding,” Ethan said in disbelief. “That little thing? I understand that she was appointed Captain of the Guard and had men to fight for her. But she was considered the greatest warrior in all the land?”

  “Clearly, you’ve never fought her,” Finn said, shaking his head.

  Ethan remembered her fight in the forest. If she was that good a warrior, she must have been holding back. That was a scary thought.

  “She had to fight her way into that position,” Finn said. “She had to best everyone else. That’s how you move up in the Dark Court.”

  “Shit.” Ethan finished his drink and grabbed the bottle. He stood up. “Let’s play pool.”

  “Pool?”

  “A game the humans play. I’ve come to enjoy it. You can keep telling the story while we play. I can’t just sit around. I used to be a warrior myself and I’ve never been able to get used to this modern, sedentary life.”

  A few minutes later, they were in Ethan’s entertainment room, which boasted an enormous TV at one end and various games, including a pool table, at the other.

  He explained the rules, showed Finn the basics, and racked up the balls.

  “Don’t sink this one,” he said, putting his hand on the black eight ball. Finn was staring off into space, his mind clearly on something else.

  “What? Yeah sure.”

  Ethan could tell he wasn’t really paying attention, but that didn’t matter. This was for them to have something to do while he talked. Not for Finn to become a pool champion.

  Going to the other end of the table, he set the white ball on the green felt of the table and leaned over, sighting along his pool cue.

  “So, Tessa kicked your ass, almost killed you, you said. How are you here today, then?”

  Ethan hit the white ball and it rolled smoothly across the table, hitting the triangle of balls with a sharp crack. The balls with their stripes and solid colors scattered.

  “Your shot.” Ethan stoo
d aside and watched as Finn held his cue quite well, considering he’d only just been shown. He managed to hit the seven ball, though it didn’t go in.

  “I pulled a Unity Blade on her. Held it to her throat. That ended things rather quickly. Or started things, depending on your perspective.”

  Ethan pulled back just as he was about to shoot, looking Finn straight in the face so he could judge whether the Faerie was screwing with him or not.

  “Are you serious?”

  “About which part?”

  “All of it?”

  “Of course. That was the short, short version but—”

  “That’s how your relationship started, with you pulling a knife on her?”

  “Yes.”

  Ethan burst out laughing, bending over he was laughing so hard. Finn stood watching him until he got himself under control again, wiping away tears.

  “Figures. Damn Faeries.”

  “So, do you have a woman?” Finn asked, probably wanting the attention off him for a while.

  “Nah. Too much trouble. Especially for immortals.” Ethan bent until he was horizontal and took a shot. The white ball hit a group of three balls clustered together. Two of them went in. Finn wrinkled his nose, studying the table. He walked around to the opposite side.

  “Are you saying you’ve never been in love?” Finn said, his face skeptical.

  “In love? Interesting question. No, I don’t think I’ve ever been in love.”

  Ethan watched as Finn angled his tall frame down low and sighted. With a swift flick of the wrist, he hit the white ball and watched as it struck the three ball, neatly plopping into the pocket.

  “Nice,” Ethan commented. Then he attempted a difficult shot and missed.

  “So who’s this Rebekah you and Ignis mentioned?”

  Ethan took a deep breath and tightened his hands around his pool cue at the mention of Rebekah.

  “Aha!” Finn said, triumphant. “I knew it.”

  “Okay, I did have woman issues with Rebekah but I was never in love with her. Did I care about her? Yes. Still do. Did I enjoy sleeping with her? Hell, yeah. Definitely. But I didn’t love her. I’m not sure I’m capable of it.”

  Finn frowned in the middle of sighting his next shot. He lifted his head to gaze up at Ethan.

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No, why would I be kidding? I don’t even know what I am, exactly. I know I’m immortal, have some cool powers, and I’ve been around a long time. Probably longer than I even remember. I know that I’m the Great Hunter.” Ethan walked around the table, looking for a shot. “But I’ve never fallen in love. No woman has ever caught my interest, really. I’ve been friends and lovers with plenty of them. I greatly enjoy women. They’re awesome. But maybe someone like me is just incapable of falling in love.”

  “No, no. That’s ridiculous. You have people that you love, right? Somebody? Anybody?”

  “Sure. Of course.”

  “If you’re capable of that kind of love, you’re capable of any kind of love.”

  “So why have I never fallen in love before?”

  “Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman yet.” Finn’s expression was serious.

  Ethan winced as Finn shot and pocketed the eight ball.

  “I got it in,” Finn said, pleased with himself.

  “But that’s the eight ball,” Ethan pointed out.

  “So?”

  “So, that means I win.”

  “I do not remember you telling me that,” Finn said, a sour look on his face.

  “I told you at the beginning. I said don’t sink the eight ball. I specifically told you.”

  “You never said that, man. I would remember.”

  “I guarantee I told you that rule.”

  “Fine, rematch,” Finn said, a determined look on his face.

  Ethan blew out his breath, a half-smile on his face.

  “I think we’re going to need another bottle of scotch,” Finn said, putting the balls back on the table.

  “I think we’ll need something a little harder than that,” Ethan said, leaning on his pool cue. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got a bottle of Elixir somewhere. Sorry it won’t be enough to heal you, though. The only reason that crap Elixir from the Black Market worked is because you were basically on death's door and all it did was keep you from walking through.”

  "I know," Finn said. "If Elixir were the cure, that would be easy."

  "Yeah, the Starlight in Elixir is way too diffuse to cure a lost cause like you, though," Ethan said, hoping Finn would take it as a joke, since that was how he’d intended it. He just wanted to lighten things up a bit.

  “The last thing I’m thinking about for the rest of tonight is dying, Ethan,” Finn said with a grin. “Bring it on, Great Hunter.”

  Chapter 18

  In the room she had chosen on the second floor, Tessa had cried for a long time and then fallen asleep, waking a couple hours later, close to midnight.

  Unable to sleep once she remembered everything, she also couldn’t bring herself to get up and do anything else. It was too hard to come to terms with who she was. After having that brief glimpse of seeing herself as a good person who had never done any terrible things, she could hardly bear the weight of knowing who she really was.

  Reaching out, she turned on the bedside lamp. Then she curled up in a ball and pulled the covers over her head, leaving her face peeking out. A soft knock at the door came as she was staring at a strange piece of art on the wall, which was made of rusty metal sticks with rocks and sand glued to them and then painted a rainbow of colors. She knew who it was. She could feel him now that she knew they were Joined.

  “Tess?” Finn’s voice came through the door, muffled. “Can I come in?”

  “Yes.”

  The door opened tentatively and she swallowed hard when she saw Finn’s handsome face looking so worried.

  “I’m fine,” she told him. “Or I will be. It’s just…”

  “Hard,” Finn finished for her.

  “Yes.”

  She went back to staring at the weird metal stick art.

  “I was content,” she said, as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Not happy. But not hurting, either. And then it all came smashing into my mind and I couldn’t handle it. Knowing everything.”

  Tess felt her eyes fill with tears and she sniffed, reaching for a tissue and finding that Finn had one ready for her. As she sniffed, she smelled human alcohol.

  “Were you and Ethan drinking?”

  “Yes, but Earth alcohol can’t get me very drunk,” he said with a shrug and a look of disappointment.

  “Finn, I know we ended things but I… I just…” She sat up, the tears running freely down her cheeks. “I… please…”

  Finn took a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around her. Tess clung to him, holding his solid body tightly and wishing that she could forget what she had so badly wanted to remember.

  That Finn couldn’t forgive her.

  She loved him and he loved her. But she had been willing to risk his family for the greater good and Finn couldn’t forgive her for that. He thought she cared more about ending the Severance than about him, which wasn’t true.

  Or…

  Maybe it was true. She was a horrible person. She remembered every terrible thing she had ever done.

  She had hurt Finn. And herself. And she had ruined any chance she had ever had of being happy.

  Tess and Finn held on to each other for a long time. But eventually, the truth seeped in, and though it cracked Tessa’s heart a little more, she pushed away from him.

  “Thanks,” she said, blowing her nose for the twentieth time. “And Finn, I am so sorry.”

  “It is what it is, Tess.” His eyes were filled with sorrow, too. “There’s nothing either of us can do to change it now.”

  “I know you’re right but it still hurts like a bitch,” she said, then gave a weepy smile. “I see why you like these Earthly curse words. They�
��re so much sharper than in our tongue.”

  “Yes, I particularly like ‘fuck’,” Finn said. “It conveys ‘Shadows take me’ so much more concisely. And there are so many different versions of it and ways it can be used.”

  He trailed off, his smile fading away.

  “I talked to Ethan.”

  Tess nodded.

  “He’s a good guy. "

  “So you’ve said.”

  "I mean, Ignis obviously hates him. But I really think that he's trying to change, Tess.”

  "I don't know if he is or isn't different or changed or whatever," Tess said. "But if he is trying then we have to give him a chance. We have to help him. If we don't, then we're basically saying that there's no hope for any of us, Finn."

  Tess stared some more at the painted sticks, while Finn sat in silence.

  “So what do we do now, Tess? We have to get the Chalice of Life. But there’s the whole thing with my Starlight, which is frankly quite fucked up.” Finn smiled like a child with a new toy.

  “That’s why you collapsed today when Melisende took her price in Starlight. And why Ignis read something strange about your energy when we first met. Shit. Why didn’t I have her take my Starlight?”

  “You couldn’t know, Tess. Obviously, I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known it would mean risking my life.” He plucked at the covers, considering. “Also, that will cut down the time I can stay on the Earthly Realm. Six months is definitely out. I’m thinking we should aim to go back to Esper in three weeks or less.”

  “Three weeks? What makes you think that?”

  “After you left, I asked Ethan to give me an estimate.”

  “Oh. That’s not long, Finn,” Tess said, wanting to dissolve into a puddle of tears again. But that wasn’t what was required of her. It took all her strength to pull herself together but she did it. Finn needed her to be strong if he wasn’t going to die. And she was going to make damn sure he wouldn’t. Finn was right. These Earth curse words were awfully satisfying.

  “We have to get the Chalice and get back to Esper. Perdira or someone can help us with your vow problem then. We’ll figure it out, okay? Don’t worry.”