“What if I see in the kid what everyone else saw in me? What if I see a monster? A terror? A mistake?”
Nicole just stared at her with a stricken look in wide green eyes. She held Dane’s hand tight. It was encouraging, but Dane still feared.
“Think about holding our baby, Danny. Our baby is beautiful. A full head of unruly black hair, sun kissed complexion, and smiling brightly at you, eyes full of wonder. The scent of the baby wrapping around you, blanketing you in the smell of something fresh, new, and innocent. The weight of the baby in your arms, leaning against you for warmth and security, trusting you completely, loving you completely,” Nicole said in a low tone, as if frightened Dane would leave.
Dane swallowed hard again, but it did nothing for the tightness in her throat as the images flashed through her mind, drowning her thoughts in emotions she could hardly comprehend. Her heart beat heavier, and she was sure that the uncertain tattoo was louder than the rain patter outside. Her hand was now shaking as it traveled through her hair.
“I…I…” Dane was completely dumbfounded.
Nicole offered her a small, comforting smile. “Don’t say anything, sweetheart. You don’t have to decide if you want a baby right now. But, you should know you’re very good with kids, and I suspect it’s because you know what kids need by only having fleeting moments of it yourself. Just try to entertain the idea someday and when necessary we’ll talk more about it.”
Dane nodded, but her vocal cords still weren’t working enough for her to respond. The topic was thankfully dismissed as Nicole began eating again. Dane wasn’t so quick to go back to her meal, thoughts of babies flooding her mind.
Do I want a baby? What would I do with one? Would I be willing to share Chem with someone who’d definitely need her more than I do? Nick’s obvious with her thought on this and she wants a kid. She’d be a great mom, but I’m a mess. Can I even stay with her if I don’t know how I feel? What if I don’t want a kid? Will I lose Chem? Would I deserve her? Would she resent me?
Dane had no answers for her questions and was far from brave enough to pose them to her girlfriend right now. She finally managed to start eating lunch, only to find that the discussion hadn’t only robbed her tongue of the ability to talk, but also the talent to taste her favorite potato salad. She frowned as she tried her best to remember how delicious Nicole’s cooking was.
“Sweetheart, please don’t let it bother you. It’s not the end of the world.” Nicole reached over and patted Danny’s thigh.
No, it’s not the end of the world today, but damn, tomorrow looks like a decent candidate. Still, Dane tried to enjoy the food, which remained tasteless. The only silver lining she could imagine was that at least it didn’t taste like bitter, defeated ashes. That’s gotta mean something…or I’m just a lovesick idiot, hoping against all hope.
“Baby, tell me what I can do to make this better,” Nicole implored with glistening eyes.
Dane could only imagine what she must look like if Nicole was begging to help her. She shook her head. “I’m okay. Just thinking about it for the first time, seriously thinking about it.”
The redhead nodded and thankfully let the lie go. But, Dane knew she’d ruined the picnic, and she couldn’t think of a single thing to make it better. Once they finished their meals, Nicole put everything back into the basket.
“Hold me for a while?” Nicole requested, as she settled down on the picnic blanket.
Dane did as asked, lying right next to her lover. The rain falling outside was the only noise in the room and it seemed to be a natural lullaby as Nicole was asleep within minutes. Dane was awake for a while longer, still plagued by thoughts brought on by their conversation.
***
Cries filled the blurry white room and Dane felt something small being eased into her arms. Curiosity got the best of her and she looked down to see what she was holding. Large, curious, green eyes in a chubby, peanut butter face were focused on her. “Who are you?” they seemed to ask.
“Who are you?” Dane countered.
No answer was forthcoming. Instead, a tiny hand slid across her index finger. Her brow wrinkled and studied the small, mysterious creature in her arms. Her heart beat suddenly picked up as she was flooded by a million and one emotions that she couldn’t begin to comprehend. Overwhelmed didn’t even begin to cover the sensation.
She managed a hint of pride in the simple fact that she hadn’t dropped the little, green-eyed puzzle. She then found it more of an accomplishment that she was still on her feet as emotions swirled through her like a torrential hurricane, only to realize she was, in fact, sitting down. A good thing, too, because she felt a little dizzy.
“Maybe it’s not too late to send you back,” Dane considered as stomach acid decided to creep its way up her throat. Why should I have to share the attention of the only person to love me for who I am?
***
The park was green and vibrant without a cloud in the powder blue sky. The sound of a dog barking got Dane’s attention and she found herself almost completely bowled over as Haydn barreled into her. She caught her balance on what she recognized as the picnic blanket she’d shared with Nicole. Glimpsing a basket across from her, she guessed she and Nicole were doing it again in the park. Good, I can make up for screwing up the last one.
Her thoughts on mending bridges were cut short by the familiar peals of Nicole’s laughter. It brought a smile to her face until it was accompanied by similar, but very childish laughter. That wasn’t familiar at all. Still, it settled something inside of her.
As she turned her head to find who the second voice belonged to, she was tackled for a second time. She went down this time and felt small arms wrap around her neck, hugging her. A familiar sense of being buried by a billion emotions narrowed her vision, and she had no clue how to fix that.
As she calmed down, she realized things weren’t quite so horrible. The emotions, while something akin to a tidal wave, didn’t consume her. Instead, she felt warm, loved, and settled. It felt good to be embraced, good to be trusted, good to be loved. There was another giggle and it felt like home.
***
A thunderclap startled Dane out of sleep. She squeezed Nicole tightly, by accident, which woke her up, too. Dane blinked and looked around, wondering what happened to the park and her beatific hug. Rubbing her eyes, she finally realized what had happened.
“It was a dream,” she mumbled.
“Hmm?” Nicole focused on Dane.
“Had a dream we got to do the picnic over in the park. It was really nice. The perfect day. Haydn was out with us. He was big. Adult dog size and there was…” Dane trailed off and motioned around her body. Her eyes softened. “Little hands hugged me…” Licking her lips, she whispered the last part. “Felt nice.”
A soft smile conquered Nicole’s features, and she leaned over to kiss Dane’s cheek. “Glad you’re not overwhelmed anymore.”
“Oh, no, I am overwhelmed. Scared shitless really. But, there was something there beyond the panic and the fear. It gave me something else to think about. Something nice.”
Nicole moved and hugged her. Dane smiled and wrapped her arms around the redhead. Nicole cuddled into her, and the feel of Nicole’s steady breathing calmed her.
“Sweetheart, I don’t want you to feel pressured about this baby business. If you want one, great. If you don’t, then we’ll work through it. It’s not the end of the world.”
“But, you want a kid.” There really wasn’t a compromise in between “you want a kid” and “I don’t,” not that she didn’t. That dream certainly left her with something to think about.
“I’ve only entertained the idea and it was only a vague fantasy before you. You’re the first partner I’ve considered kids with, but if you don’t want them, that’s fine. I want you to know that I’m comfortable enough with you, and trust you enough, and love you enough to want to bear your children. It’s not an offer I make lightly.”
Okay, wow. That’s a lot, but really ama
zing. Dane smiled. “I’m touched by the gesture. Are you sure you’d be fine if I decided I didn’t want kids?”
“Baby, I want you. I want you forever and always. If I have you, I’m fine. You’re the person that brightens my day, makes my heart speed up just a little faster in a good way, and makes me feel warm inside. You’re the person whose arms I feel safe in and who I can whisper all my secrets to. I refuse to compromise this for anything.” Nicole’s grip on her tightened a little.
Dane kissed Nicole’s crown. “You’re all of those things to me, too. I’d give you anything I could. I’d do anything for you.”
“But, a baby’s a big step, I know. You don’t have to decide tomorrow. You don’t even have to decide this year. Hell, you may never decide or you may decide you don’t want any, but I’ll always be here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Dane smiled and her heartbeat finally went back to normal. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you, for giving me all of that and more.”
Dane wasn’t sure what to say. Her eyes drifted to the window to see the rain was still coming down, but she felt like there was a ray of sunlight cutting through the storm clouds. “Can we try our picnic again?”
Nicole grinned. “Excellent idea!” She reached for their basket to set everything up again.
The second time was the charm. Nicole’s laughter echoed through the room as they conversed. In the distance, just under the rain, Dane thought she could hear a childish giggle join in and she smiled.
Therapy
DANE YAWNED AS SHE awoke and found herself in bed alone. Frowning, she rubbed her eyes and sat up. Where is she already? She was about to get up and go search for her wandering partner, but footsteps in the hallway kept her in place. She smiled as Nicole nudged the bedroom door open and appeared with a tray of food in her hands. Emerald eyes lit up when they caught sight of Dane.
“Oh, yes, you’re awake,” Nicole happily chirped.
“Yeah, I was about to panic since you weren’t here.” Dane laughed.
Nicole’s brow furrowed just a little bit. “Panic? You’re not prone to panic when you wake up alone, are you?”
“Only when I expect you to still be in bed with me. Now, what’s this for?” Dane asked, as Nicole put the tray down in front of her.
Dane looked down to see golden waffles with melting butter and syrup accompanied by a bowl of fruit and scrambled eggs. Her mouth began watering at the sight and smell of the food. I must’ve done something real good in a past life to deserve Nick in my life now.
“This is for our anniversary.”
Dane’s face scrunched up. “Our anniversary?” Did I forget or sleep through a few months or something? “Last time I checked our anniversary was not for another six months.”
Nicole chuckled. “Not that anniversary.”
“Then what—” Dane’s question died on her tongue as she realized Nicole had on her skimpy robe, which tended to mean she had on hot lingerie underneath or nothing at all. The idea of either was enough to make Dane want to take her right now, forget everything else. “Chem, what are you wearing or not wearing under that?” She arched an eyebrow.
The redhead smiled coyly. “If you’re a good girl, you’ll find out what’s going on under this robe.”
Dane was sure she wore, at that moment, the most perverted smile that had ever graced her features. But, Nicole didn’t seem to mind, so she just kept on smiling. She remembered she had questions about why she was getting served breakfast in bed.
“So, what anniversary is this?” Dane eyed the food.
“This, baby, is in honor of the first day we met.”
Dane blinked. “What? Oh, yeah, you did this last year, too. I’m surprised you want to remember this day considering what happened before you met me. And considering what a pain I’ve been…” Her presence had certainly brought more drama and unwanted excitement into Nicole’s life, she was sure of that, but Nicole didn’t seem to hold it against her.
A soft smile remained on Nicole’s face. “No more than I have. When you came into my life, everything changed for the better. Trust me on that. Yes, we’ve had problems, but that’s life. Every couple has problems and arguments. We’re both learning as we go here. I think we’re doing excellent. Two years of friendship, a year and a half of dating, and we’ve stumbled a few times, but we always pick each other up. We’ll always pick each other up, right?”
“Damn right!” Dane nodded.
“Then start eating and be sure to share.”
Dane chuckled and decided to do just that. She cut into the waffles, dividing them as she liked them. Nicole made herself comfortable on the opposite side of the tray, hovering over Dane’s legs, but not sitting on them. Dane took a bite of waffles, while Nicole made herself busy with the fruit.
While eating, Dane tried to guess what Nicole wore under her robe. Being able to see cleavage distracted her. Her mouth watered and it had nothing to do with the fine meal anymore. She stuffed more waffles in her mouth before she did something to ruin the special breakfast.
“Here, have some waffles, too.” Dane picked up a bit on the fork and guided it to Nicole’s mouth.
Nicole took the piece, dripping with syrup, into her mouth. Some of the syrup oozed out of her mouth as she savored the food. Dane felt herself throb at the sight. Nicole had the nerve to wipe the syrup away with her finger. It wouldn’t have been a serious matter if Nicole didn’t give her another coy, sweet look while slowly licking the syrup from her finger. Taking it even further, she proceeded to suck her finger for absolutely no reason at all. Fuck breakfast!
Dane grabbed the breakfast tray and dumped it on the nightstand, only slightly careful to not spill the half-eaten meal. Nicole’s eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open a little, as if she didn’t know what she’d done. Dane pinned her naughty, teasing girlfriend with a heated gaze. Nicole seemed frozen in place, hovering slightly above Dane’s legs.
“You didn’t finish eating,” Nicole dared to say with that damned look of pure innocence.
“I haven’t even started! Get up here.” Dane growled.
For the first time that morning, Nicole looked confused. Her brow wrinkled as her eyebrows curled. “Up there?”
“On my face, right now!” Dane pointed to her mouth, just in case Nicole needed a visual cue. Dane slid down onto the pillow some and tugged Nicole by the hips to where she wanted her.
Nicole yelped as Dane made her straddle her face. Nicole seemed like she wanted to protest, undoubtedly uncomfortable with Dane demanding a position they hadn’t used before in the middle of breakfast, but Dane really needed to just go right at Nicole’s soul.
“Baby?” the lawyer whimpered.
“Just go with it. We try new things all the time now. I need to have you so badly,” Dane growled.
Dane’s hands groped Nicole’s legs, loving how smooth and firm the limbs were. Wandering up to her ass, she discovered her sexy girlfriend wasn’t wearing panties. She wasted no time pulling Nicole to her, lapping at Nicole like a hungry kitten. Nicole let loose a loud moan and her head fell back while her hands pulled Dane’s head closer to her.
At this angle, Dane felt like she drowned in her angel, taste, smell, and feel. Nicole surrounded her, and she loved every second of it. Sweet honey danced on her tongue as she explored her love. She moaned wantonly, as Nicole rocked her hips, the motion begging for more of Dane’s affectionate mouth.
“So fucking good,” Nicole cried, as her grip tightened on Dane’s head, and her hips moved with even more purpose. Dane’s tongue and lips loved her with fervor.
Dane could only moan while making sure to please Nicole, drinking her in, living off of Nicole. Her hands enjoyed and delighted in every inch of soft, supple flesh that they caressed. Eventually, they settled on Nicole’s ass, pulling her closer to Dane’s devouring mouth.
She’s so fucking sweet. Better than all of the chocolate that she eats. Better than the syrup on the waffles. Better than an
y fucking nectar of the gods. I want her only and always.
Nicole began loudly panting. Her breaths sounded like begging, pleading, longing, and singing heavenly music all at the same time. One of her hands left Dane’s head and her cries became sharper. Dane could picture her lover fondling her own breast, which made her throb again. Her tongue and lips worked harder.
Suddenly, Nicole cried out what might have been Danny or just a nonsense word. Her hand fisted in Dane’s hair, causing Dane to hiss in pain and pleasure. She liked the pull, though, just as much as she liked when Nicole dug her nails in or bit her. It all felt so good.
Nicole’s hips slowed as she drenched Dane’s face in her ambrosia. Dane moaned and made the attempt to clean her sweetheart off. Nicole shuddered and clutched Dane’s hair again.
“Baby, don’t. I’ll climax again,” Nicole whispered. She whimpered, as Dane made another sweep of her tongue.
“That’s a bad thing?”
“We have all day and I don’t want to fall asleep on you just yet. So, I’m going to get off.”
“Okay then.” Dane grinned and made another sweep of her tongue, which made Nicole whimper.
Nicole squealed. “Get off you! I’m going to get off of you!” She quickly swung her leg over Dane, falling to the empty side of the bed. “Now, let’s finish breakfast and I’ll let you see what you completely bypassed in your hunger.”
Dane smiled and grabbed the tray again. She eased it in front of her and dug into the cold waffles and eggs. She fed some to Nicole, who fed Dane some fruit in exchange. Soon, breakfast was over and Dane continued to pulse. She was about to toss the tray aside, but Nicole moved swiftly and got to the tray first.
“I’ll be right back.”
“You’d better,” Dane growled.
Nicole laughed. “I like you all feisty. It’ll go along with what I have in mind next.” Without a further clue, she rushed out of the room. Dane could only whimper in anticipation.
Bandages Page 29