Overboard!

by Michael White

  “Canapé, sir?” asked one of the gold braided staff from behind the table, holding out a plate to him.

  “No thanks.” said Bones. “I find they tend to go straight through me.” Bones made a show of pretending to spot someone on the other side of the room. “Ah. The Duke of Xasaree. He always comes dressed as a fish you know?”

  “Ah.” said the servant as Bones hurriedly left. “Nice costume sir!” he shouted after the rapidly disappearing skeleton. “Very authentic!”

  Bones pushed his way through the crowded balcony, watching the tall man who was in turn watching Daisy and Neep returning to the dance floor. Bones suppressed a chuckle at the very thought of Neep dancing but his attention was suddenly caught by the tall man who had turned to face him.

  “Ah. Mister Bones.” said the figure as the skeleton approached. “I have heard many tales of you.” he looked him up and down. “And now here you are in the flesh…” the man gave a skewed smile. “Or near enough anyway.”

  “Who are you?” demanded Bones, facing the man. Bones noted that he was tall and yet thick set; probably strong and yet at the same time he gave an impression of speed and litheness. To his surprise the man removed his hood, revealing a handsome face that was however ruined by a long deep scar that crossed his face. It was obviously old and had healed over, but still it drew the attention like a mark of violence and pain.

  “My name is Nick Blade.” He said “And I work for The Beak. He thinks his agenda is mine also, for he has employed me as a useful assailant since I had to leave my home in rather a hurry. Sadly, that is not entirely the case. I am here purely and simply to kill The Scarlet Daisy.” Bones startled as Blade snapped his fingers.

  “Guards!” he shouted, and six of the red gowned soldiers of The Beak’s private army descended on Bones and dragged him away.

  “Take him to The Beak’s tower.” he called after them, before adding under his breath, “I have other business to attend to first.”

  ***

  The Beak watched in quiet satisfaction as Bones was dragged from the room by six guards. There was a murmur of commotion from the room before Nick Blade emerged from the balcony, hood back in place once more.

  “Just a little too much to drink!” He shouted, and laughter rippled about the room as the music began to play again. Soon all was back to normal. The beak looked across to where Daisy and Neep were standing, their position in the crowd concealing from them the sight of Bones being captured. The Beak smiled wildly as Blade moved past him, tapping him on the shoulder of his peacock outfit as he went, heading straight for Daisy and Neep who danced on oblivious to who was heading in their direction.

  ***

  “What just happened over there by the balcony?” asked Daisy as Neep stood on her toes once again. She had long since given up protesting, now being resigned to limping in the morning.

  “No idea.” said Neep, taking Daisy’s hand to twirl her once again. “Looks like someone had had a few too many drinks perhaps.”

  “Ah.” said Daisy suspiciously, but she soon settled back down to avoiding Neep’s feet once again. After a while the music stopped and the pair came to a stop to get their breath.

  From the stage the conductor announced that the next song was the gentleman’s excuse me and off they went again. They were dancing for but a short while when Neep felt a tap on his shoulder.

  “Excuse me.” he heard someone say and suddenly he was dancing with someone else. He tried to avoid his new partner’s toes but deep down he knew perfectly well that sadly, it was all going to end rather badly for her.

  Daisy took the hand of her new partner who was rather oddly dressed as a duck, long yellow leggings running down to what looked like cloth slippers in the shape of webbed feet.

  “Quack.” said her new partner, before continuing, “At last we meet Daisy. I fear our relationship has so far been of a misquemous nature.” From nearby a dancer dressed as a very large egg with legs that appeared to be covered in red striped leggings and ended in what may very well have been duck’s feet rushed to hand.

  “Displeased or offensive in nature.” said the egg before dancing off again.

  “Sorry?” asked Daisy, taking the duck’s wing and twirling herself around to give herself time to think. The duck preened itself.

  “It would appear Daisy that you are being disingenuous. I have an almost pamphagous desire to decode a certain map I have and you I think have the key to this map.”

  “Over-riding; all-consuming” Said the egg from over the duck’s shoulder before dancing off wildly again.

  “Captain Jenkins.” Said Daisy, giving a slight bow.

  “The same.”

  “Well now.” Daisy leaned in close to whisper in Jenkins’s ear. “We seem to be at an impasse. I have a medallion from the island of El Bongo which Bones and I secured many years ago. I believe I hold the key to the map you have. Yet you have the map and I have the key.”

  “A fair assessment.” said Jenkins.” Yet what is to stop me from merely taking the key right now?” To his surprise Daisy laughed.

  “Try it.” she said simply. “See what happens.” Jenkins visibly bristled. “You are very much the fierce captain when you have your crew behind you, Jenkins. Let us see what you can do when you are on your own.”

  “I may surprise you.” said Jenkins sweetly. “Yet I fail to see mister Neep’s part in this. I suspect he knows the secret of the language on the map that cannot be decoded. Am I correct?” Daisy leaned in even closer.

  “He is just a decoy you fool.” She whispered into his ear. “Neep knows absolutely nothing at all. In fact, he has no use to either me or you at all. Now give me the map!” Jenkins stood back, his posture screaming of outrage.

  “Never!” he said pulling away from her just as a dark cloaked man appeared at his shoulder.

  “Excuse me!” he said, tapping Jenkins on the shoulder and pushing him away at the same time.

  “Damn it you prescited buffoon!” shouted Jenkins from over the man’s shoulder but the new arrival ignored him completely.

  “Predestined for damnation or condemned.” said the egg, reappearing again but staying this time to watch the unfolding events.

  “You seem to have interrupted a very interesting conversation.” said Daisy to the dark man who leered at her as if she were his prey.

  “Not as interesting as the conversation we are about to have.” said Nick Blade, removing his mask. Daisy turned pale as Neep arrived at her shoulder to see what the commotion was.

  “Nick Blade.” She gasped and before she could react, Blade moved forward quickly, swinging his left arm directly at Daisy. She tried to spin to one side but as she did so she collided with Jenkins and Blade caught her directly on her cheek. All of his weight was behind the blow and she reeled as the force of the punch hit her. She dropped to the floor, her eyes rolling as she fell.

  “Daisy!” screamed Neep as the crowd came to a stop around them. Blade was not done however. As Daisy fell to the floor he moved forward and raising one foot, kicked her in the head as she fell. Daisy rolled on the floor like something broken and lay still.

  Neep launched himself at Blade but he was no match for him. Blade ducked to one side and Neep stumbled to the floor in a heap.

  “Take her to The Black Tooth. Take this idiot too.” he said to approaching guards as he lashed out with his foot at Neep. “Oh and for good measure take the chicken and the egg too. I think they may all be up to something.” The guards dragged Daisy from the ground and began bundling Jenkins and Mister Lex towards the exit. Neep slid to one side and launched himself at Blade again, but this time the tall man did not move. He pushed Neep’s punch away as if it didn’t exist.

  The last thing Neep saw was Blade’s fist heading towards him and then all went dark.

  Chapter 20

  ~ The Benefits of a Lithographic Memory~

  “Stands to reason really.” Said a voice in Neep’s head. At least he thought it may have been in
his head. It was most definitely crowded in there at the moment, what with all the pain and dizziness. He opened his eyes slowly to reveal that he seemed to have gone slightly blind.

  “Not like the good old days.” Continued the voice. Neep was struggling to focus. There seemed to be bells ringing inside his head and his cheek felt sore and puffed up. He stretched his jaw to test the area that seemed to be hurting the most and instantly wished he had not.

  “No. Then you could expect a nice deep dark dungeon. Dripping walls, mouldy straw and no light at all.” There was a deep sigh as Neep desperately attempted to focus. He felt sick and leaning to one side he vomited onto the floor. Gasping as he did so his eyes filled with tears and his vision began to return. “Rats too.” There was another sigh. “I miss the rats, that’s for sure. Miss them proper. Know where you are with a rat, you do.”

  Neep tried to move his arms to steady himself and found he could not do so. His back was resting against what seemed to be a cold stone wall and as his vision returned he could see that he was manacled to the wall in long iron chains. Daisy was beside him but she was not moving and appeared to be unconscious, manacles attached to her arms too. Neep saw next to her Bones, thinner chains attached to him but he was stretched across towards Daisy, straining at his chains so he could ensure that Daisy was still breathing.

  Across on the far wall Jenkins and Lex were also chained to the wall, their costumes still on but masks removed. Jenkins glared evilly at Neep but he could not move. None of them could. Neep felt a thrill about his latest endeavours. Now he was being held captive! And in a cell too! He did note sadly that there did seem to be bright sunlight streaming through a large window in the wall. Not a dungeon as such then. Perhaps they were in some form of tower? Neep’s heart skipped a beat. Perhaps he would at last be able to swing on a rope! Neep consulted the SOPE manual in his head for instruction on rope swinging. To his disappointment there seemed to be only one entry.

  “If when swinging on a rope,” it said, “and you find yourself swinging backwards, do not under any circumstances let go of the rope.” Neep was slightly disappointed, but noted the information anyway, after all you never knew when it would come in useful.

  It took several attempts for him to focus on the other occupant of the cell. As he saw Neep staring at him he smiled broadly, though what he had to smile about was not immediately apparent. He was old and grey, the bones sticking from his rib cage. His skin was sallow; almost yellow and his hair long and dirty, falling down almost to his waist. He too was manacled to the wall, but he if nobody else seemed to be having a good time.

  “Yes I miss those underground dungeons.” He continued to talk aloud to nobody in particular. He had the look of a man who was just grateful that he finally had someone to talk to. “These towers. Well. It’s just not right, is it? I mean - just look at the view!” They all turned to the wide arched window which looked out over the walls of Nine Wells and out to sea.

  “It is actually rather a nice view.” said Jenkins.

  “Exactly.” said the old man. “Just not right is it. Torture with a view.” he sighed. “No problem with a nice view in a good old fashioned dungeon now, is there?”

  “We are in the Black Tooth then?” asked Mister Lex.

  “Aye.” said the old man. “Bit windy in the winter, but the breakfasts are good.” He paused slightly as if trying to remember something. “Even have three pieces of gristle at the new year’s celebration.”

  “Wonderful.” said Bones. The old man did not seem to be phased by a talking skeleton at all.

  “I know.” said the old prisoner. “Three! Who would have thought it?”

  Daisy stirred on the floor, and groaning raised her head slightly before letting it fall back to the sand covered stone.

  “Are you alright?” asked Bones anxiously.

  “Aye,” groaned Daisy weakly, “As good as can be expected given the circumstances.”

  There was a rattle of keys at the door which opened ponderously, as if the stone it was made of was unaccustomed to movement and in strode The Beak followed by Nick Blade who wore a smug grin across his face.

  “Welcome to the Black Tooth.” Smiled the Beak. “I will get right down to business for I am a man not predisposed towards frivolity. It would appear all of you are up to something in my city and I would like to know what it is.

  “Go to hell.” muttered Daisy, pulling herself up against the wall and spitting blood onto the sand on the floor.

  “How polite.” smiled Blade, kicking Daisy’s foot. Daisy groaned as she tried to move her legs out of his way.

  “Now, now.” said The Beak, smiling. “Let us not be over zealous Mister Blade. After all, time is on our side. Who shall be the first to spill the beans?” Silence fell about the cell.

  “Search them.” said The Beak and Blade moved among them, rifling through each of their pockets in turn, casting various items onto the centre of the floor as he did so. Neep noticed he seemed to spend a lot more time searching Daisy than was strictly necessary, but halfway through she spat in his face and he smiled at her almost manically.

  Blade reached Bones and laughed. No need for a search there. He looked at the medallion at his throat but discounted it and moved on to Neep. As he reached Jenkins the captain struggled as if in an attempt to resist but eventually Blade pulled a long thin piece of parchment from him and cast it on to the pile. Daisy, Neep and Bones went very still, but Jenkins was crimson with rage. Blade nodded to The Beak who knelt down to sift through the pile.

  “Not much here. A few coins. To whom does the pirate collectable card belong?” Neep went very quiet. Receiving no reply, the Beak tore it in half and throwing it over his shoulder, moved on.

  “What is this?” he asked, taking up the map and unrolling it.

  “That is mine.” spat Daisy. “That man there stole it from me and I was merely asking for him to return it.”

  “That’s a lie!” roared Jenkins. “It is mine, but she has a key to it which she has stolen from me.” The Beak laughed. Blade just kept watch on them all, his features not changing at all, though Neep noticed with trepidation that his view did linger on Daisy longer than any of the others.

  “It says here that it is a map made by Capability Jones.” laughed The Beak. He read some more. “The lost island of El Bongo!” he roared with laughter before tossing the map back onto the floor. “Old wive’s tales and foolishness. There must be more to this than that.” He paused, rubbing his chin and apparently lost in thought. “I wonder what it is though.” He cast his eyes over all of them before seeming to come to a decision. “Untie the skeleton.” he said and Blade moved across and taking a key from his belt undid Bone’s manacles before replacing the key on his belt. He dragged Bones to his feet. The skeleton struggled to resist but Blade had a firm grip on him.

  “Ten seconds.” said The Beak tapping his foot on the floor. Ten taps later the ruler of Nine Wells sighed. The silence was unbroken. “The window, Mister Blade.” said The Beak, and with surprising speed Blade dragged Bones over to the window and threw him out. There was a loud scream as Bones fell which slowly got further and further away. Daisy screamed, crawling on the floor and Neep pulled at his chains as if to try to free them from the wall but neither of them could move at all.

  “I should explain that we are very high up here.” smiled The Beak. “That window leads straight down to the sea outside the city walls, though there are several very large crops of rock on the way down.” He scratched his nose, seeming to tire of them. “I shall return in one hour and if none of you can either come up with a rational explanation or indeed a significant reimbursement to my pocket for the waste of my time that I have spent here then Mister Neep will be next out of the window.” Neep gasped as they left the room and the door swung shut behind them.

  “That’s what I like.” said the old prisoner. “Bit of decisive cruelty. No politically correct, “Oh am I sorry did that hurt too much?” and what have you. Going to tortu
re or kill someone then do it properly says I and that’s for sure. Let’s you know where you stand good and proper, does that.”

  “Oh shut up.” said Neep, looking at the map on the pile of trinkets on the floor in front of them. Their chains had some leeway but none of them could reach it.

  “All for a stupid map.” sighed Neep. “What’s so special about it anyway?” he asked.

  “Great treasure.” Sighed Jenkins. The map was curled up on the floor in front of them, the edge of the map where the elusive symbols of the map key were scrawled being barely visible.

  “Yet we cannot read the key on it.” said Daisy.

  “Old Scurthian.” said the old prisoner with a sniff, leaning as far forward as he could to peer at the map. “All them squiggles and crosses and what have you in the corner of the map. Old Scurthian that is. Some of the Avanti priests on the Island of Ciniomawr speaks Old Scurthian.” He paused as everyone in the room looked on in a mixture of elation and shock. “Same as the symbols on the medallion your matey in the skeleton suit was wearing. That was Old Scurthian too.”

  “By the tides.” whispered Daisy. “Old Scurthian. A deader language you’d be hard pressed to find this side of the Seven Tines!” Jenkins and Lex shuffled ominously against the wall. Eventually it grew dark and they settled down to wait. Neep looked at the old prisoner suspiciously. He looked embarrassed almost he thought to have let on that he knew so much about the map whilst at the same time he looked at it as if it was going to bite him. Neep thought perhaps that the man was simply crazy and concentrated instead of trying not to think about their current predicament, or that he was next for the long drop out of the tower window.

  ***

  “So this woman told me the map was real and swindled me!” declared Jenkins to The Beak in an outraged voice. “Little was I to know that the map was a fake!” Jenkins kneeled down and plucked the map from the floor, replacing it in his jerkin. He winked at Daisy as he did so. Upon the Beak’s return Jenkins had played out his story that Daisy was little more than a con artist and he was the poor injured party. Eventually The Beak freed him and Lex, though Neep suspected that the rather large “donation” that Jenkins mentioned in passing that he had made to the Nine Wells coffers may very have helped.