Healing His Heart

by Sasha Goldie

  Emerging a few minutes later, my boner was gone, and my body properly covered in jeans and a tee. "Hey, Mom. What are you doing here?"

  "It's about time you got up. I came by to clean this place up, but I get here and find it spotless."

  "Oh, mom." I rolled my eyes. "I always keep a clean house. You know that."

  "Well, is a mom not allowed to come visit her son?"

  I laughed and walked over to hug her. "Of course. I thought maybe Patrick called you because of my seizure."

  "Oh, no." She pulled back and looked at me. "Another one? When?"

  "Last night. It was small, though. And Harry caught it."

  "I'm glad he was here, then. And you, Patrick." She moved toward the stove. "I'll just make you some breakfast while I'm here."

  "And while she's here, I have to go check in with work. They emailed and told me to come in for a check-in. Your mom volunteered to hang out here with you."

  I plopped down at the table. "I don't need a babysitter. I'm not likely to have another seizure for a while, anyway. And I'm strong enough to get up and down the stairs."

  "If you feel that way, do you really need a nurse anymore?" Mom bustled around the kitchen, pulling out eggs and bacon.

  "Probably not," Patrick answered for me. "They're most likely going to reassign me today. That's why they're calling me in, I think."

  I didn't respond, just watched as he went through his suitcase for clothes to wear in. By the time I finished eating, he was out of the shower. A rock in my gut made me stand as he walked to the door. I pulled him into my arms and squeezed him tight. "Whatever they say, we're friends, okay?"

  Why in the world did his not being with me constantly feel so much like a breakup? I was fond of him, but this was veering into attachment.

  Not that I minded, but I'd never felt that way about anyone.

  "You've got it bad," Mom said as the door closed behind Patrick.

  "Mom," I said in exasperation. "What do you know about having it bad?"

  She burst out laughing and grabbed my plate from the table, her short, black hair shining in the kitchen lights. "Do you think I never fell in love? How do you think I got you?"

  "I was left in a cabbage patch, and you know it." There wasn't much worse than thinking about my mom and dad having sex. I maintained that it hadn't happened. I was a product of budding or something.

  "Come sit down over here," I said. "I'll do those later."

  She laughed. "Or Patrick will."

  I clutched my heart. "You wound me."

  She dried her hands and folded the towel, hanging it on the oven. I put my arm around her when she sat beside me. "How have you been, really?" she asked as she patted my knee. "I've been worrying about you."

  "You always worry about me."

  "That's my job, I keep telling you."

  I squeezed her shoulders and decided it might be nice to tell someone how I'd been feeling. "I like Patrick."

  "I told you," she said teasingly. "How much?"

  "It's weird. I've never gone for a guy like Patrick. But I find him alluring. Compelling."

  "The heart wants what the heart wants."

  We sat in silence for a few moments. She was right. Most people had a type, sure, but sometimes love snuck up on a person.

  Love? What love? My mind was all over the damn place.

  "I meant to ask you," Mom said. "Did you ever remember anything about the wreck?"

  "No."

  "Have you tried?"

  I looked at her with narrowed eyes. "How'd you know?"

  "Because if you remember who did it, you'll have to remember how it happened and how it felt."

  My mother, the soothsayer of Three Lakes. I sighed and put my head on top of hers.

  "I'm scared if I remember something small, I'll remember it all. The pain. The impact."

  "Well, then. Maybe you shouldn't try. Your mind will allow itself to remember when it's ready."

  "I remember leaving the diner. Walking down to the corner. I'd walked to work that day. It was such a nice morning. Then, nothing."

  I tried to imagine myself walking outside. I'd stretched, tired from my shift.

  No, still nothing.

  "Wait." A picture popped into my mind.

  "What is it?"

  "I can see a taillight."

  "Can you describe it?" She sat up and turned on the couch, taking my hand. "A color? Or a shape?"

  "A long rectangle on silver." That's all I remember, and it was just a flash.

  "You've got to call Brady. Right now." She hopped up so fast, it scared Harry. He jumped up and barked at her, but she ignored him as she scurried into the kitchen to grab the cordless phone.

  "Shh," I rubbed Harry on the nose with my finger.

  "Brady?" Mom turned toward me and waved me over. "Here, Tyler remembered something about the wreck."

  I almost dropped the phone when she crammed it into my hands. "Hey, Tyler, what's going on?" Brady's voice came through the phone. I explained what I'd remembered. "I knew it," he hissed. “I gotta do some research. I'll call you back.”

  8

  Patrick

  The last thing I wanted to do was to go into that damn home health office and have them reassign me. Tyler needed someone with him, especially since he had another seizure the night before. If he would've gone to live with his parents, I could stand it, but the stubborn fool wouldn't.

  He insisted on living alone. Fool!

  As I pulled out of Three Lakes, I passed three people I knew. I hadn't known many people in the town before. My parents paid for me to go to a swanky private school in Bend, so I didn't grow up with the rest of them.

  To my parents' intense disappointment, I'd dropped out of nursing school after only a year, opting instead to get my certified nursing assistant license. They'd finally calmed down about it when they realized I loved my job.

  Waving to the grocery store owner as he pulled out of the lot, the gas station attendant as she swept the lot, and Tyler's uncle Duke, standing outside his shop, I finally felt like a real part of the town. It only took twenty-four years to get there. I liked it.

  I pulled into the parking lot of the home health service in Bend almost forty-five minutes after I left Tyler's apartment. Sitting in my car, I composed myself as a light rain started, peppering my windshield and obscuring my view of the building.

  I'd gotten myself into a whopper of a mess, but it looked like I'd be able to extract myself relatively unscathed.

  Tyler had come out of his bedroom this morning ready to start something. If only his damn mother hadn't stopped by right at that moment, we'd be back there in bed right now, discovering how much we wanted each other.

  She was a sweet woman, but damn it.

  The clock on my dash blinked over to the new hour. I had to go on in. Might as well get it over with.

  "Well, hello, Patrick." The receptionist beamed at me. He'd asked me out the first day I came into the office to fill out paperwork, but I only had eyes for Tyler.

  "Good morning, Jeremy." I looked toward the administration offices behind him. "Is Helen in?"

  "She is, and she's expecting you." He picked up his phone and pressed a few buttons. "Patrick is here." He nodded then replaced the phone in the cradle. "Go on back."

  I walked past his desk, but stopped when he said my name. "Patrick, we're going to have to get that cup of coffee one day soon." He giggled, and I gritted my teeth.

  "I'm sorry, Jeremy, I don't date at work."

  His persistence would've been endearing before I met Tyler, but I just wanted him to leave me alone. I turned and walked to Helen's office before he had a chance to say anything else.

  After a tap on the door, I pushed it open. "Hey, Patrick, how are you?"

  "Good, and you?" Polite formalities.

  "Great. I went over your patient's latest reports this morning. It looks like he's ready to be set free." She clicked at her computer and peered at the screen. "Says here he's going up
and down the stairs on his own, his service dog was effective last night in predicting his seizure, and he's even done a light-duty shift at his previous employer?"

  "That's accurate." I tried to smile at her, to look pleased at Tyler's health. And I was pleased that he was improving, beyond pleased. Thrilled was more like it. But I was also worried that he had another seizure, and that they didn't seem as though they were going anywhere any time soon.

  "Well, go ahead and finish out the day, help him get set up to live alone. Tomorrow you'll start with an elderly woman here in Bend. She's coming home from transitional care tomorrow and will need daily nursing for probably a week as she finishes up a round of intravenous antibiotics."

  "Helen," I said, carefully choosing my words. "What is the policy on taking a week off, unpaid?"

  "Well, we're short-handed, so it comes at a bad time, but if you absolutely needed one, we'd just suspend your salary for a week."

  "I need one."

  "May I ask why?"

  Because I was too weak to walk away from Tyler yet. Not even for eight hours a day while I worked in Bend. "It's a personal problem I need to clear up. You can expect me for the schedule next week, if that's okay?"

  She shook her head and looked mighty disappointed. "I'm not happy you're taking a week off after only one job, but as long as this doesn't become a habit, it can be overlooked."

  "Thank you. It won't be. I just need to take care of a few things."

  "Well, then, it'll be okay. Tell me, how are you liking the job? I hope your leave has nothing to do with the work."

  "No, not at all. I think I'll be much happier doing home health than working in the hospital." That much was certainly true. I wanted to continue in the field even after Tyler was able to be on his own. I liked the connection I'd be able to form with my patients. That was part of the reason I'd worked on the long-term care floor. Not all those patients were in comas. I'd felt connected with them, and hell, even with the ones like Tyler -- unconscious.

  Visiting family and friends gave an incredible insight into a person's character. Before Tyler even opened his eyes, I felt like I'd known him all my life. His quick wit, sharp mind, and opinionated, bossy mouth. When he'd woken and cemented all the things I'd imagined about him, I hadn't known what I would do.

  I'd applied to a few home health places over the years, but the pay never matched the hospital.

  This one did. When they called, and I knew Tyler was going with them for his nurse, I took the job on a whim. Why not be closer to him?

  I'd volunteered to go with him to the auction to raise money for his service dog. That was before he was released from the hospital. He'd had a massive seizure afterward, and that was when the doctors ordered home health care if he was going to live alone.

  "Patrick?" Helen snapped me back to reality. "You okay?"

  "Yeah, I was just thinking more about the difference in home health and hospital work. I can honestly say I'm happy here."

  She beamed. "I'm so glad. It's a rare person that can do this line of work. Not everyone is cut out for it. I'm happy to have you onboard."

  We chit-chatted a bit more about the field, and my future with the company. Helen stood and held out her hand. "I think you could go far, Patrick."

  I shook it and turned for the door. "Thanks for understanding. I'll see you next week."

  Jeremy jumped to his feet on the way out the door. "I'm taking a job at the hospital," he blurted out.

  "I'm sorry?" What did that have to do with me?

  "You said you don't date coworkers. Well, I was offered a job at the hospital, as a ward clerk. I was already going to take it, don't think I said yes so I could date you, but I wanted you to know."

  He looked so nervous, I took pity on him. "I'm in a budding relationship with someone else, but Jeremy, if I wasn't, I'd say yes, I swear I would. And if it doesn't work out, I'll look you up, okay?"

  Jeremy plopped back in his desk chair. "It's hard for me," he whispered.

  I walked over to his desk, curious what he meant. "What's hard?"

  "Being forward. Asking you out."

  "You didn't seem to struggle with it, either time." I gave him a look of disbelief. He was playing me, but Mama didn't raise no fool.

  "I put up a good front, but it took all I had to ask you out." He hung his head. He was handsome, and fit, and well dressed. There was no reason he couldn't find a date in Bend.

  Three Lakes had a woeful shortage of eligible gay men, but Bend was much bigger.

  "Listen, I meant what I said. Keep your chin up, the right guy will come along before you know it."

  He smiled at me, and I made a big show of checking my phone. "Gotta run," I said. "Duty calls."

  "Yeah, see you," he said on my way out the door.

  Back in my car, I sat and stared at the rain sprinkling the parking lot. What in the hell had I done? I was on the verge of being able to extract myself from the massive lie I'd told, and switch from being Tyler's nurse to his friend and, hopefully soon, his boyfriend. Now, I could spend another week with him, but I'd be in the same boat exactly one week from now.

  What a fool I was. I rested my head on the steering wheel. Apparently, Mama did raise a fool.

  Sucking in a deep breath, I gave myself a pep talk. It was okay that I wanted Tyler to be safe. It wasn't like I was trying to rape him or anything. My lie was more about keeping him well than staying near him, wasn't it?

  Maybe. Being near him was a balm to my heart, though. My heart wanted to be near him all the damn time.

  9

  Tyler

  "So, what did they want?" I asked Patrick the moment he came back into the room. "Where is your next assignment?"

  He chuckled and looked around. "Where's your mom?"

  "I sent her home about an hour ago." I finished loading the dishwasher and started it. "So?"

  "You've got me for another week," he said with a big smile. It looked a little forced, though.

  "What's wrong? Why do you seem stressed?" Grabbing the rag from the sink, I rinsed it out and wiped down the counters. "Did something happen?"

  "No, nothing. Just a little tired. I didn't sleep well last night."

  I hadn't either, not really. I'd thought about him all damn night. That damn corset.

  "Well, we need to go to the grocery store," I said. "We're out of everything."

  "Okay, you ready?" He looked around. "Where's Harry?"

  "Asleep under the table. We played fetch for a while and it wore him out." I walked to my bedroom to put on my shoes. "I think he missed you, though."

  Patrick followed and leaned against the door jamb. "How would you know if he missed me?"

  "He kept bringing the ball up and then circling a few times. Once he even went halfway down the stairs that go to the diner before I got him to come back up."

  His face softened. "Aw, he likes me." Patrick made kissy sounds and the sound of the kitchen chairs scraping told us Harry was coming. Sure enough, he ran in, tail flapping, and stood in front of Patrick. "Do you like me, big guy?" Patrick cooed like Harry was his baby. "Well, I like you, too."

  "Ready," I said once my shoes were tied. "It's amazing how fast I've improved."

  He nodded as we moved into the living room. "A week ago, you would've taken a lot longer to put your shoes on." Patrick pulled my wheelchair out from behind the couch.

  "Actually," I said with a tentative smile. "I think I want to go without it."

  "The whole grocery store?" he asked. "You may be too tired to go up the stairs after."

  "We'll take it slow. I want to push myself. You were right, that's the only way I'm going to get better."

  He smiled at me proudly. "You're a strong man."

  Blushing, I looked away. "Let's go."

  The walk down the stairs still felt wobbly in my legs, but I didn't get winded. That was a major improvement. Of course, I was only going down.

  "I'm going to brave walking the whole grocery store, but do you thin
k we could drive over there?"

  Patrick burst out laughing. "I wasn't planning on carrying all those groceries three blocks."

  "Thank goodness." I walked over to his small car and opened the back door for Harry to hop in.

  We were at the grocery store in minutes. "It seems such a waste to drive a block away. We should get a cart."

  "A cart? Well, hell, when you can handle the walk, we could borrow one of the grocery store's carts and bring it right back." Patrick looked at me over the top of the car door as I clipped the leash onto Harry. "Man, it's hot."

  I looked at the blue sky and nodded. "It really is. It's getting late in the season for it to be this warm."

  We meandered through the grocery store aisles. Harry was a hit. Half the other customers in the store had to stop and say hi to him. I knew, technically, it was supposed to be bad to let people fawn over him while he was on duty. "I just don't see any harm in him getting lovins from other people, not when he's trained to scent a seizure. I mean, on the off chance someone had a seizure around me, he'd be able to tell, right?"

  "I guess so." Patrick shrugged and grabbed a gallon of milk. "He's your dog, right? You can do with him as you please, now."

  "That's right. If I wanted, I could make him hold you hostage so you couldn't leave me next week." We were supposed to keep the dogs in training mode, and for the most part I would, but it didn’t hurt to tease Patrick a little. I hip bumped him, and to keep himself from falling over, he grabbed my waist.

  Throwing my arms around him, I laughed as I steadied him. The laughter died in my throat as I looked down into his blue eyes. He fluttered his lashes and stepped back, looking around as he did.

  "Not out in public," he whispered. "But when my stint as your nurse is over, all bets are off."

  I stepped back and made a show of considering the cheeses. He couldn't have made his intentions any clearer.

  We finished our shopping and headed to the front of the store. "What bets are we taking?" I whispered while we waited in line at the check stand.