Healing His Heart

by Sasha Goldie

  The thought of Tyler going out with someone else made me sick to my stomach. "I washed my sheets today," I said softly after the waitress dropped off the check. He'd paid for putt-putt, so I snatched the folder and put my debit card inside.

  "Well, that's nice?" Jeremy gave me a curious look. "Don't you do that often?"

  "Not since Tyler slept in them. I decided to move on."

  "Doing the moving on is harder than deciding to move," he said wisely. "I speak from experience. Give it time. It'll either get better, or you'll get back together. Either way, the pain will lessen."

  "I think I could be less obsessed if I hadn't been the one to screw it up."

  "You cared for him in the hospital for three months?"

  "Yeah, and felt like I'd known him for years by the time he woke up."

  "But he's only known you for several weeks."

  I nodded. "It wasn't the best situation. I couldn't let him walk away, but to him, I was nothing more than a nurse that he'd forget in a few days."

  Jeremy shook his head. "You've got to give it another shot. Call him."

  "And say what?"

  "The truth."

  I sat on that advice for a few minutes, then smiled at Jeremy. "Thanks. Would you take me back to my car?"

  "Of course."

  We drove back and Jeremy walked around the car to say goodbye to me. "Thank you, Jeremy, and I'm sorry."

  "For what? I made a friend. Not everyone is going to work out, but for your sake, I hope Tyler does."

  He held out his hand for a shake, but I pulled him in. "You're a good friend, Jeremy. Thank you." Squeezing him, I tried to tell him how much I appreciated his efforts.

  When I pulled away, we both left, and I hoped he was as okay with us being friends as I was. As long as he wasn't asking me out or expecting something I couldn't give, he was a great guy.

  I drove straight home, without detouring to drive by Tyler's place. I was done with that. Like Jeremy said, either we'd have another chance, or it really was time to start moving on.

  I picked up the phone and dialed his home number. It was almost closing time at the diner, and I didn't know if he'd been working down there yet or not. Based on how fast he'd been recovering, it was likely he'd taken his job back by now.

  The call rang several times and went to the answering machine. Maybe he was down there.

  "This is Tyler. You know what to do."

  After the beep, I said what was in my heart. "Tyler, it's Patrick. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I made some horrible choices and set things in motion that didn't do either of us any good. I wish I'd told you the truth up front, but I didn't, and I truly regret that decision." I tried to think fast before the machine cut me off. "I'm trying to move on. Trying to forget, but I haven't been able to yet. Maybe soon." Sucking in a deep breath, I wrapped it up. "I'm sorry, Tyler. I'm sorry, I love you, and... and goodbye."

  I placed the phone on the cradle gently, then took my sheets out of the dryer and put them back on the bed. I wasn't remotely sleepy, but after working nights and sleeping all day, it was to be expected.

  I lay on the bed and cried again, but as the tears fell, I vowed it would be the last time.

  I would find the strength, and I would move on.

  15

  Tyler

  I slept late, almost until time to go in for my lunch shift. My six-hour closing shift the night before had kicked my ass. I'd come in and collapsed into bed without even changing clothes. I wasn't quite up to six hours yet, not without really feeling it afterward.

  Tapping my cell phone, I moaned when I realized I only had twenty minutes until I had to report in at the diner. Daisy had gone long enough without my help, and I wouldn't leave her hanging. I rolled out of bed and went straight to the shower.

  Toweling off my hair afterward, I walked naked to the kitchen to get a drink out of the fridge to sip as I dressed. The answering machine's blinking light caught my eye. Nobody ever called me. Pressing the button as I walked toward the bedroom, I almost spit my soda out when Patrick's voice came over the speaker.

  Last night had been one of the only nights since he'd gone that I hadn't tossed and turned. The only reason I'd slept so soundly was exhaustion, pure and simple.

  "I'm sorry, Tyler. I'm sorry, I love you, and... and goodbye."

  My heart shattered into a million pieces again. It had done so when I first found out he'd lied to me, and I'd managed to patch it together, leaving me aching and angry.

  His words, the tortured sound of his voice. It started a shudder in my body I couldn't stop.

  It didn't matter right then. I didn't have time to sit and pine over the budding relationship I'd lost. Sucking in a deep breath, I grabbed my shoes and pulled them on. Harry nudged me with his nose, whining. "Come on, boy, I'm all right. Let's go get busy in the diner and forget about this for a while." I patted his head. "We'll figure out what to do. Hell, maybe I should call him back later."

  I took Harry downstairs, positioning him in his spot behind the host stand. The diner was busy, but it couldn't take my mind off of things. And of course, busybody Corey had to come in. "Hey, Tyler. Wanted to check on you. You doing all right after the other night?"

  We'd been run off the road two nights before. "Yeah, I'm fine. It was crazy, but I'm tough, apparently."

  "You are. What's wrong?" I led him to a booth in the back.

  "I'm fine. Just got a call from Patrick this morning."

  Another customer came in, so I walked over and seated her, giving her a menu and a cup of coffee before taking a cup to Corey.

  "What did he say?"

  "That he was sorry, and he loved me." I cleared my throat. "And that he's saying goodbye."

  "Where the hell is he going?" Corey's mouth hung open, his coffee cup halfway to it.

  "Nowhere. He's moving on. Moving past me, I guess."

  "Well, damn. How do you feel about that?"

  I didn't know how I felt, so it was a good thing I was called away to deliver food to a couple of different tables. By the time I got back to Corey, he was ready to put his order in, and then I didn't have time for gossiping.

  "I'll call you later," he said as he waved on his way out.

  I buckled down after that and provided really good service, focusing on my job and nothing else, and earning great tips.

  By the time the high school kid got out of school and came to replace me, I was worn out again.

  Back upstairs, I moved a kitchen chair beside the table that held my phone and answering machine and played the message over and over. Did he sound like he wasn't truly ready to move on? Or was he over me?

  Corey texted a few minutes later. Hey, Tyler, I thought you should know. Nate was coming home from a late night at his office in Bend last night and he passed Patrick playing putt-putt with some guy. It looked like they were on a date.

  I read his message several times. Patrick had gone on a date, then came home and called to say goodbye to me. It was really over.

  I didn't cry. I hurt enough to bawl my eyes out, but then anger began to overtake the hurt. How dare he act like he was in love with me, lie to me, then a couple of weeks later go on a date with someone else?

  Bullshit. He was a player. I'd been played and played good.

  I spent the evening cleaning, pulling things out of cabinets and scrubbing out my anger. If I didn't, I'd borrow a car and drive over to his house and slap the stuffing out of him.

  Cleaning after working a shift wore me out again, so I slept great. Falling asleep wasn't difficult, thanks to tired arms and an aching back. Harry had taken to snuggling up beside me in bed, so once he was in his spot, I was conked out in no time.

  My smoke detector woke me and Harry. As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew there was a fire somewhere. Harry jumped from the bed and turned in circles, barking. It was his seizure cue, but I sincerely hoped he was doing it to warn me of the fire, not because I was about to seize. If I did, I'd die, for sure. The apartment was a
lready filling up with smoke. I ran to the living room and grabbed the phone, thanking the heavens I still had a dial tone.

  "911, what's your emergency?" The operator's voice was strong and steady.

  "The diner's on fire, and the apartment upstairs," I shouted. "Did you hear me?"

  "The diner and apartment, yes-" I hung up. She knew where to send everyone, no need for me to hang around and get stuck inside.

  I tapped the front doorknob, and it was cool. I could open it. Looking around, I tried to think if there was anything important enough to grab before I ran out. Nothing but Harry came to mind, so I snatched his leash off the hook by the door, and we went down the front steps to wait on the fire truck.

  The volunteer fire department was only a couple of blocks away, just off of Main Street. They were there in minutes. It took only minutes more to put the fire out, though it felt like hours and hours.

  By the time they turned off the hoses, my aunt and uncle had arrived, as well as Brady, Corey, and Ian and Nate. A dozen other people who lived nearby stood in the gas station parking lot across the street, watching.

  "It's clear," Brady said after talking to the fire chief from Bend. "It was set out back with a gasoline can. They left the can."

  "Who would do this?" Daisy asked as she sobbed. "We don't have any enemies."

  Tires squealing made us all turn to see Patrick pull into the parking lot like a bat out of hell.

  He jumped out without even closing his car door. "What happened?" he exclaimed.

  At the same time, I faced him, crossing my arms across my chest. "What are you doing here?"

  He gaped at me, then Harry, then up at the smoldering building. "What happened?"

  "Someone set a fire," Brady said.

  "What are you doing here?" I repeated.

  "I got off early. Had too many hours, so they finagled the schedule so I could leave a few hours early." He walked closer. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

  "No, I got out before the smoke even got thick."

  He tried to step closer and put up his hand, but I moved backward. "I'm okay."

  "You need to get checked out if you even breathed in a little bit of smoke, okay? It's bad news."

  Harry walked forward, head low and tail wagging. "Hey, fella," Patrick said, crouching down and giving Harry a hug. "I missed you."

  I let him have a moment with the dog, who clearly liked him, then tugged gently on Harry's leash. "I have to figure out what to do next," I said. "Thanks for stopping by."

  He nodded. "Any time." After tipping his head to my aunt and uncle, as well as my friends, he walked to his car and pulled across the street.

  I watched as he got gas. "That's an awfully odd coincidence, him showing up right then."

  "I agree," Brady said. "I'll look into it. If he was at work when he says he was, I'll find out."

  "Come on, we stayed over the shop tonight because we had the house painted." Ian put his arm around me. "Come stay in the guest room, then you can stay there until they get this place cleaned up."

  The fire chief walked over. "Well, the damage is contained to the back room, looks like a utility room. And some to the bedroom upstairs."

  It had been set so the fire would rise straight to my bedroom. Damn.

  "The rest of the damage is smoke and water. Call first thing in the morning and get the insurance appraiser out here." He handed Duke a piece of paper. "The important thing is that nobody was hurt. Here's a list of companies we trust for cleanup. If you need any construction recommendations, let me know."

  Duke shook his hand, and they continued to talk about the specifics of the fire as Ian led me and Harry away. I heard Nate telling someone they were taking me to lie down.

  In the days after the fire, I thought about Patrick often. He'd seemed so concerned and upset about what happened, but it was the worst timing, him showing up then.

  I worried over him possibly setting the fire until Brady stopped by the diner two days later. We were in the back, cleaning out the utility room so the cleaners could come in. The structure was still sound, but it would need to be cleaned and remodeled. We'd be down at least a week, maybe a bit more.

  "Tyler," Brady said as he nodded at my aunt and uncle. "I verified Tyler's time clock, and even double-checked it on the hospital camera." He wasn't anywhere near here when the fire started. He was leaving the hospital in Bend.

  I sighed in relief, and nearly fell over. Patrick hadn't done it.

  Brady shook his head at me. "If you care about him so much, why aren't you trying to work this out?"

  "Because he lied."

  Brady grunted. "Like you've never lied in your lifetime."

  "Not about something this big."

  "Yeah, I understand. I also understand that Patrick regrets what he did and wishes he could go back and do it different. Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, maybe that wasn't so bad, him lying to be near you."

  16

  Patrick

  I'd started getting my gas in Bend. Every morning, before I headed home to Three Lakes, I checked my tank and filled it up, then thought of anything else I could possibly need to buy before heading back.

  There was no way in hell I wanted to run into Tyler again. Not after he'd been so standoffish after the fire.

  He was okay, that was the important thing. And he clearly still wanted nothing to do with me. So, I'd given him what he wanted. After apologizing over the phone, he still wanted to avoid me, so I'd let him. I even started buying my groceries in Bend. No sense in going to the grocery store so close to where Tyler lived and worked.

  Jeremy headed me off as I closed up my locker and prepared to head home. "Hey, Patrick, how's it going?"

  It had been more than a week since we had our uncomfortable date, and Jeremy's demeanor had totally changed in the time. He was friendly and supportive now, and had the makings of a good friend. "Not bad. It was a long night. It's a full moon."

  "Those are always the worst. Listen, I just came off a half shift in the ER."

  "Oh, yeah? You pick up some overtime down there?" I slung my backpack on my shoulder and faced him.

  "Yeah, a few hours before my normal day on four." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Did your Tyler have an uncle?"

  "Duke, why?" I furrowed my brow. What was he getting at?

  "I hate to tell you this, and I know technically I'm not supposed to, but Tyler is down in the emergency room with his aunt and parents. Duke had a heart attack."

  Oh, no. Duke was a quiet man, but he was the backbone of their family. And Daisy would be lost without the ornery old man.

  "I'll go down and see if there's anything I can do."

  "I figured you'd want to," Jeremy said. "If I can help, let me know."

  "I will, thanks, Jeremy, I appreciate it." I gave him a quick hug and went on my way downstairs.

  Going through the back halls, the ones only the hospital staff had access to, I reached the inner nurse's station of our small hospital. "Hey, Jo," I said to my favorite ER nurse. It didn't matter when I stopped in down there, she was always there. I was beginning to think she lived there. "How's my favorite nurse?"

  "Patrick, you scoundrel, I heard you was working here again." She laughed and stood up, pulling me into a big squishy hug. "What I want to know is why you haven't come down to see me yet."

  "It’s been busy, Jo, you know how it is."

  "That I do. What can I do for you today?" She sat back down at her station and I walked around to lean over the counter across from her. "Listen, a friend of mine was admitted. Duke Jefferson."

  She tapped on the keyboard and nodded. "Cardiomyopathy. They're working on him now."

  "How's it look?"

  "He should be all right if he takes his meds right and starts exercising more." She looked at the notes. "It doesn't look too bad, not compared to some of the stuff I've seen."

  "Thanks, Jo. You're the best."

  "Don't you go telling the family nothing yet. You know we gotta wai
t for the doctors to do that."

  "I won't," I said as I walked toward the outer waiting room. "You know I'm a saint."

  She grunted her disbelief as I went through the door. I walked into the waiting room and face to face with Tyler.

  "Hey," I said weakly.

  "Hey. You heard?"

  Daisy stood and descended on me. "Did you see him? Is he alive? Is he okay?"

  I held up my hands. "I didn't see him, but I talked to his nurse." I took her hand and walked her over to the seats. "I'm not supposed to tell you anything. That's the doctor's job."

  "You have to-"

  "Of course I will," I whispered. "But I have to be discreet and you have to pretend I didn't."

  She nodded and Tyler and his parents crowded in. So much for discreet. "He has cardiomyopathy. That's a big word that means his heart isn't working as hard as it should." Daisy clutched at her breast. "But his nurse says it doesn't look all that bad. I'm not sure what caused it, but with exercise and medicine, he'll probably be fine."

  Daisy collapsed into the chair, sobbing. "I was so scared."

  Tyler's parents put their arms around her, leaving him and I staring at each other. "Thank you," he said, looking around. "Want to go find a cup of coffee?"

  "Sure." The exhaustion of the day left me, and I walked with him toward the cafeteria. "How'd it all happen?"

  "I got a call at Ian's in the night that Daisy was riding with the ambulance. He woke up to go to the bathroom and nearly passed out. Daisy said his legs had been swelling some, but they thought it was all that time on his feet."

  "No, that's an early sign of it." I shook my head. "I wish I'd known."

  "Will he really be okay?" We stepped onto the elevator to go down to the cafeteria. It was in the basement. Originally it had only been for employees, as well as where they made the patients' food, but at some point over the years, they'd added a dining room for visitors as well. We just had to go all the way down to the creepy basement.

  "How've you been?" I asked. "How're the seizures?"

  "I haven't had one since that last one with you," he said proudly.