Heart and Soul

by Erica Penrod

  My head buzzed while I tried to process what she was saying.

  “And I don’t know exactly what yours means for you. That’s only something you can decide.”

  Mom wrapped me in her arms, and I leaned into her embrace. I knew what the dream meant to me: that I was irrevocably in love with Landon and I’d be miserable because of it.

  Abbie

  I rushed into Caleb’s arms and buried my head in to his chest.

  “What’s wrong?” His body was strong, yet pliable, ready to mold into whatever I needed. Tonight, all I wanted was a soft place to fall. He kissed the top of my head. “What’s going on?”

  In the sanctuary of our bedroom, I confessed what I couldn’t say to our daughter. “Halle did have a dream, like the ones we had, and not only did she see Laney, but she saw Landon.”

  Caleb’s muscles tensed. “What do you mean, saw Landon?”

  I pulled back and saw the concern pulling a tight line across his lips and clouding his grey eyes. In that moment, I knew this was something more for him. He’d still be troubled by the dreams in all the ways that I was, but there was an added element for him. Halle was his daughter, and now there was another man, ready to take the heart of his little girl. I reached up and touched his face, where fine lines creased the corners of his eyes, and ran my fingers down his cheek. He leaned into my palm and kissed my hand.

  “She loves him.” I let those words resonate in his mind, hoping he’d be able to grasp what I was about to say next. “I think Landon is her soulmate.”

  Caleb closed his eyes and blew out a breath. “Are you sure? Does Halle know that?”

  “I’m pretty sure. There’s too many things to believe otherwise. She saw Laney, a girl she hadn’t know since she was a child, and then she saw Laney’s twin brother, who happened to come into her life again at the exact same time—”

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he’s her soulmate.”

  “I know.” I smiled. “But she said when she saw him in her dream, she felt like she already knew him.” Doubt still hovered in his eyes. “And that she knew she loved him, like she always had.”

  His shoulders dropped, and it was my turn to hold on to him. “But Landon Doyle?” He shook his head.

  I laughed, and his brow furrowed. “I’m not sure you’d approve of anyone your daughter is in love with.”

  “But she’s too young. She can’t be sure he’s the one.”

  “I was the same age as Halle was when I first dreamt of you, even a little younger.”

  “Oh.”

  I took his hand and we sat down on the bed. “But I didn’t say anything about soulmates to Halle. Even if that’s what I think is going on. Maybe Laney is trying to bring them together.”

  “Like Jess did with us?” The thought seemed to ease his troubled mind.

  I nodded. “Yeah.” Caleb’s brother, Jess, who I’d once been in love with, appeared to both Caleb and me after he died, like some sort of guardian angel pushing Caleb and me towards each other. “Halle has to figure that out on her own.” I felt helpless to stop this and yet grateful to know that she had some help. Jess had been persistent from the other side of the grave because he loved his brother. I could only hope that Laney was the same.

  “What about Landon? Did he dream of her?” Caleb’s brows knit together.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not sure. But I wouldn’t be surprised. You’ve seen the way he looks at Halle.”

  “I thought he was dating Gracie.” His voice got all gravelly with pebbles of disappointment.

  “He is, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s in love with Halle. Maybe he’s all messed up if he’s dreamt of Halle too.”

  Caleb rolled his eyes. “This isn’t what I wanted for her.”

  “What? For her to fall in love?”

  “No.” He let out a sigh. “To grow up.”

  I squeezed his fingers. “I know, but we don’t get a choice, and I think right now all we can do is be there for her while she figures this out. That, and I think it’s time we went and talked to Nikki and Travis. Maybe if we tell them about our dreams, and we know they had dreams of their own, they might be able help Landon, if that’s what’s going on with him too.”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

  I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow. “Silly man. Don’t you know by now I’m always right?”

  “Oh yeah?” A mischievous look splayed across his handsome face. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me down on the bed, and tickled me until I couldn’t breathe. Then he kissed me long and slow. That was my Caleb … always taking my breath away, one way or the other.

  Halle

  I knew what I had to do, and I was determined to do get the dreaded thing over with. A few minutes in the bathroom and I hoped I’d done a good enough job of erasing the evidence of tears. I felt better after I talked to my mom, but I knew I couldn’t be okay or ever be able to move on, unless I—

  Knock, knock. I put down my lip gloss and opened the door. “Hey, Dad.” Great. My mom went and told my dad and now I’d start crying all over again. So much for my makeup repair job. Plus, do teenage girls want to talk to their dads about things like eternal love and such?

  “Are you okay?” His eyes were warm and full of love like an electric blanket on a stormy day.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” I faked a smile.

  He took me in his arms and held me close. “You know you’ll always be my little girl and you can tell me anything.”

  “I know.” I did know, and was more grateful for that in that moment than I’d ever realized before.

  “You can even tell me that you don’t want to be an architect.”

  He knew about that? Was I that obvious? I drew back and gazed into his eyes. “Dad, I’m sorry. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  He lifted my chin and looked directly into my eyes. “The only way you will ever disappoint me is if you let someone else’s opinion steer you away from whatever or whoever it is that you truly want to be. You be you, and don’t ever apologize for what makes you happy.”

  His words were like a crane that lifted a heavy load from my shoulders. He was right: I had to be me. I had to go after what I wanted, and I knew what I had to do.

  “Thanks, Dad. I love you.” I hugged him tight.

  “I love you too, baby girl.”

  He left me in standing in the bathroom doorway, and I was ready to do what I had to, to make things right—I had to find Gracie.

  17

  Abbie

  I texted Nikki and asked if she and Travis wanted to come over for dinner. I’d put a roast in the slow cooker earlier this morning before we went to church, and I was glad I did, since there wasn’t much time to prepare anything. After I talked with Halle and then Caleb, most of the afternoon was gone, but Caleb and I both felt that the sooner we talked to Travis and Nikki, the better.

  “Can you help me peel the potatoes?” I opened the drawer and found the peelers.

  Caleb stirred the carrots coated with brown sugar sauce in a pot on a stove. “Sure. Do I just put these on simmer?” He turned the knob on the stove.

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  Our home was nowhere near the size of Travis and Nikki’s and not as new, but I didn’t mind. This was the place where we became a family, and we’d raised our daughter here. We built the house on the far corner piece of Caleb’s parents’ ranch. We were close enough to help and be part of the ranch, but far enough away that we had our privacy. The four-bedroom house was buttercream yellow with black shutters and a large front porch. There was a second floor that once was full of Halle’s toys, until a couple years ago when Caleb remodeled the space into a theater room, with big recliners and a mounted television that ran the entire length of the wall, and partitioned off a small room for my reading nook.

  When we built the house, I’d envisioned at least four kids bursting at the seams, but when it became clear that God had other plans for us and Halle was the on
ly child we ever conceived, I had to let go of what I wanted and embrace what He’d given me. And even though there were only the three of us, this little house was full of love.

  Caleb and I peeled and cut the potatoes, then tossed them into the pot to boil. We set up four places on the big farmhouse table my father-in-law had made for us as a wedding gift.

  “I think you should do most of the talking.” Caleb set the glasses above the plates. “I’ll be there for moral support.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  I’d just mashed the potatoes and Caleb had whipped up the gravy when the doorbell rang. Caleb glanced at me with raised brows. “Here we go.”

  I rinsed my hands and dried them on a hand towel as I walked to the door. A quick breath, and I turned the handle. “Hi.” I smiled at the two pretty people standing on my porch.

  Nikki was dressed in jeans cuffed at her ankles and a crisp rust-colored button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. She had on copper jewelry with turquoise accents and her hair tied back in a ponytail. Her skin was no longer pale, but warm with color. She looked so much better than when I saw her last.

  “You look so pretty.” I stepped back and gestured for them to come in.

  “Thank you.” Nikki smiled, and I noticed the tiny light in her eyes. “Thanks for having us over.”

  “My pleasure. I’m glad you could make it.” I grinned at Travis. “It’s good to see you.”

  “You too.” He held a dish in his hands. “We brought a green salad.”

  “Thank you.” I took the glass bowl from him. “You really didn’t need to do that.”

  “It’s no problem, and we really appreciate the invitation. It’s nice to get away from the house for a little while. Nik’s been decorating, and I’ve been working on the yard, so this is a welcome reprieve.”

  “Well, good, I’m glad.” I closed the door with my hip. I hoped they’d still be happy with us after the conversation Caleb and I had planned.

  Caleb stepped out from kitchen. “Hey, guys.” He waved the wire whisk in his hand. “Come on in.”

  I led the way into the kitchen that opened into the dining space. “Have a seat. Dinner’s almost ready.”

  “What can I help with?” Nikki paused next to the island.

  “Nothing, we’re good.” I smiled. “Have a seat.”

  Caleb and I placed the food on the table, and after a prayer, we passed the dishes around and filled our plates.

  “This roast is delicious.” Travis took another bite.

  “Homegrown.” Caleb lifted his fork in the air like he would a toast.

  Travis swallowed. “I need to get a beef from you.” He grinned. “But first I need to buy a big freezer.”

  “Just let me know when you’re ready and I’ll check with my dad.”

  “How’s the house coming?” I took another helping of green salad.

  “Good.” Nikki took a sip of water. “It’s starting to feel like home.”

  “That’s nice.”

  “Yeah, things seem to be settling down for everyone, which is good because my mother’s coming to live with us.”

  I’d been so focused on Nikki’s grief over Laney, I hadn’t said anything to her about it. “Caleb mentioned something about that.”

  “She’s had breast cancer, but she’s in remission and everything looks good.”

  “Nikki, I’m sorry.” I reached out and touched her hand, very aware of the crappy friend I’d been.

  “No, it’s fine. Anyway, I wanted her to be close, even though we’ve never had that great of a relationship, and Travis designed the house so that she has her own space, but I’m there if she needs me.”

  “I think that’s wonderful.”

  “I hope so.” Nikki gave a soft smile. “And it will be good for Landon to get to know his grandma better than he has.”

  “How is Landon?” I picked up my glass and saw Caleb glance at me.

  “He’s actually not quite as ornery as he used to be.” Travis laughed.

  Nikki grinned and shook her head. “Some days he seems to be a lot better, and then other days he seems miles away.”

  “Sounds like a teenager.” Caleb leaned back in his chair.

  “Well, you look like you’re doing a lot better.” I struggled with how to bring up the dreams.

  “I am.” Nikki brushed a loose bang from her face. “It’s strange, but I feel like I’ve had help. Like Laney’s somehow close to me, giving me the strength to put one foot in front of the other.” She glanced around the table. “That probably sounds crazy to you.”

  “Not at all.” I drew in a breath and prayed for the right words to say. “And actually, Caleb and I wanted to talk to you and Travis about something.” I glanced at Caleb and then back to Nikki. “Something that we hope helps with the loss of Laney.”

  Travis and Nikki both sat up in their chairs, their eyes fixed on me. “What is it?”

  “Remember when you told me about the dream you had of Travis all those years ago?”

  “Yeah …” Nikki slanted her head and waited.

  “Well, I didn’t tell you at the time, but the same thing happened with Caleb and I.”

  “It did?” Travis’s forehead creased as he looked from me to Caleb.

  “Okay, but what does that have to do with Laney?” Nikki reached out for Travis’s hand.

  “After Jess died, I couldn’t let go until a few years later, when I had another dream.” I bit my lip and looked at Caleb. The strength in his eyes gave me courage. “I saw Jess and he was happy and he was with someone, someone he loved more than anything. I felt the love between them and it healed my heart, because I knew they were meant to be.” I drew in a breath. “The girl with Jess was Laney.”

  Nikki winced like I’d slapped her, and Travis scowled at me. “What are you talking about? Laney hadn’t even been born.”

  “I know.” I tried to sound reassuring. “And I didn’t know the girl was Laney until I saw her picture at your house that day. I didn’t notice the resemblance when she was a child.”

  “I know it’s a lot to take in—” Caleb came to my rescue. “—and I know we don’t understand everything, but I think eternal love like that can transcend time. Everyone has a soulmate, even when they’re not born in the same lifetime. Angels move heaven and earth to make sure they find each other, in this life or the next.”

  The room was pregnant with silence and I waited until the atmosphere settled. “I hope knowing that Laney is happy and with Jess brings you some comfort.”

  “I … I don’t know.” Nikki dabbed at her eyes. “I mean, I’m glad the dream brought you comfort, but what if wasn’t Laney?”

  “It was her.” Caleb adjusted himself in the chair and rested his forearms on the table. “I saw her too, with Jess at Luke and Maddie’s wedding.”

  Travis shook his head. “This all seems like a little much.”

  “Remember when you dreamt of Nikki?” I looked into his dark eyes. “Remember what you felt and how the dream altered your entire existence?” I saw Travis swallow the lump in his throat. “I know Jess and Laney are soulmates, just as much as you knew you loved Nikki from the moment you dreamt of her.”

  A haze clouded Nikki’s eyes, like she was somewhere else, until she looked at Travis. “I think they’re right. I’ve felt Laney with me, like she’s been trying to tell me she’s happy.” Tears fell down her cheeks. She reached out and Travis placed his hand over hers. Their eyes connected, and then they both laughed and cried at the same time.

  “There’s something else I need to tell you.” I didn’t want to ruin the moment, but I had to get everything out. “Halle’s dreamt of Laney … and Landon.”

  Travis and Nikki gaped at me.

  “I think Laney is trying to help Landon through Halle.” I didn’t know if I should mention more than that.

  “Does that mean Landon’s had dreams too?” Nikki’s eyes widened.

  “I don’t know, but I think so. I think tha
t’s up to you and Travis whether you ask him or not.”

  “But what does it mean? How can Halle help Landon?” Travis’s brows were raised in a puzzled expression. “I remember after I dreamed about Nikki, my whole world shifted. No wonder my kid’s been moody.”

  I laughed, then remembered what else we had to be discussed. “Well …” I glanced at Caleb for courage. “We’ve been talking this over, and we think our children are soulmates. I think that’s why Laney’s come to them.” Relief washed over me just by getting the words out.

  Nikki let out an audible gasp. “That’s not possible right now. They’re too young. Maybe when they’ve finished up college and have jobs, but not now.”

  Travis ran his fingers through his hair. “They’re just kids.”

  “So was I when I first dreamt of Caleb.”

  “Maybe this isn’t up to us,” Nikki paused and took in a deep breath. “Maybe we decide to let God work His miracle in His own time.” Nikki reached out for Travis’s hand. “I’ve spent way too much time fighting God’s plan for my family. Maybe it’s time for me to have a little faith, believe that there’s a reason for everything.”

  I smiled softly at Nikki and Travis. “I think you’re right, and I think we should let them discover what the dreams mean for them all on their own.”

  Travis and Nikki left later that night, and as they drove away, I knew we’d made the right decision not to tell the kids. But that didn’t appease my motherly desire to run to my baby girl, take her in my arms, and shield her from all the uncertainty and confusion of the dreams. I knew exactly how she felt, and I also knew that like me, to become the woman God wanted her to be, she had to do this all on her own.

  18

  Halle

  I worried that Gracie wouldn’t be home and that by the time I found her, I might chicken out. But she answered my text right away, and ten minutes later I was on her front doorstep. Gracie sat beside me as the sun was almost gone in the western sky. A slight chill kissed my skin and I wished I’d brought a jacket.