Back To You This Christmas

by Sterling, S. L.

  She hung my jacket in the closet and then turned to me, smiling as she placed her hands on her thighs and looked around as if she didn't know what to do. Laughter erupted from the kitchen, and she turned and made her way back to where she had been.

  "Drew's here," she called out as I followed behind her into the kitchen where everyone sat around the kitchen table, dessert plates in front of them.

  "Hi, Drew, it's great to see you," Laura's mom said, getting up from her chair and embracing me in a tight hug.

  It was almost as if Laura hadn't run off with another man only minutes before we were supposed to get married, leaving me at the alter looking like an idiot. Laura patted the empty chair beside her, signaling me to sit down.

  At first, it was awkward being back there with her family, and then I got into a debate with her father, and soon an hour had passed by. I glanced down at my watch, seeing that it was close to ten. I didn't want to be here all night. She had wanted to talk to me, after all. I leaned over and placed my hand on her knee. "Can I speak to you alone?" I whispered as everyone looked over at us.

  "Of course." She smiled awkwardly, excusing us from the table, and got up. "Guy's we are just going to head out for a walk."

  "Drew, it was great to see you again," her mother said, hugging me once again.

  I walked out to the foyer and slipped into my shoes and grabbed my coat off the handle of the closet door.

  "How about we walk down to the little cafe in town?" she murmured as she put her coat on.

  "Sure. That’s fine," I said, opening the front door and stepping out into the cold.

  We walked in silence for a while through the brightly lit neighborhood, taking in the Christmas lights. It wasn't a comfortable silence by any means, and I struggled to find words to say to fill that silence while we walked. I had never been as glad to see the lights of the cafe as I was in this moment. As I approached the door, I was surprised to find the cafe open, not really thinking about the fact that it was Christmas day.

  I opened the door and allowed Laura to step in front of me. She walked over to the seat beside the fireplace and unwrapped her scarf. "What would you like?" I asked.

  "A coffee please," she said, sitting down and running her fingers through her hair.

  I brought over two coffees and sat down beside her. She sat there looking at me, a smile on her lips, just like nothing had even happened between us.

  "So you wanted to talk," I said, grabbing a creamer out of the bowl in front of me and pouring it into my coffee, followed by sugar. I wasn't wasting time.

  She took in a deep breath. "Drew, I want to apologize."

  "For?"

  "The way things went down. I know it's all my fault."

  I could barely believe what I was hearing. Of course, it was her fault.

  "What happened?" I asked, placing the spoon down on the table.

  She looked at me through tears as she stirred her coffee. She had more to say, I knew it. "I don't know. I guess I choked. About a month before our wedding, I met someone, and he brought something out in me that I couldn't fight. I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't really even think much of it at first, but then something changed."

  "So, you just ran off? Just threw away everything that we had?"

  "I figured it may not hurt as much that way."

  I chuckled to myself. "Laura, just don't." I shook my head, taking a drink of the coffee I barely even wanted to drink now.

  "He was different from you. He was adventurous and wanted to have fun, he wanted to see the world...and he wasn't you," she mumbled.

  "Of course, he wasn't me," I said. "And where is the wonderful man now?"

  "He left me about three months ago. We had gotten engaged, and then he came home one night and told me he had met some other girl one night in a bar we had been in. I tried to keep him, but he took off with her." She sniffled and wiped the tears from her eyes.

  I glared at her, at the terrible display of emotion she was trying to trick me with. I cleared my throat and sat back in my chair. "So now you know how it feels. Doesn’t feel so good, does it?" I spat, my angry, vindictive side coming out.

  She pulled her chair closer to me and put her hands on my knees. "I made a mistake, Drew. I didn't realize how lucky I was to have you...until you were gone."

  "Laura..."

  "No, Drew, please just hear me out. I want us to have another chance. I want you back." She didn't give me time to even digest her words. Instead, she just leaned in and kissed me.

  Chapter 24

  Alexa

  I grabbed my camera from my bag and headed out the front door and down the road, the sound of snow crunching under my feet. I couldn’t stop thinking about last night. After we'd had sex, we’d laid in Drew's bed, his arms wrapped tightly around me, and talked about anything and everything. Occasionally, Drew would whisper into my ear, and then we would kiss for a bit, and then continue talking. We then made love again for the second time, and afterward he’d laid behind me, wrapping his body together with mine, and I had dozed off in his arms. It had been perfect.

  Off in the distance, two kids playing in the snow under the streetlights caught my attention, and I stopped to take a couple of pictures. A few more steps down the road, and I snagged a photograph of a young couple sitting on a park bench, his arms wrapped tightly around her. All the answers I had been searching for had seemed to fall into place for me last night, and today I knew, because all day today I had felt so at ease. I felt as if I were floating, as if a sense of peace had fallen around me and was protecting me from the cold, like a warm blanket. In those few hours with Drew last night, I knew for sure he was the one. I smiled to myself at the thought.

  I continued my way downtown, stopping along the way to take pictures of anything I thought was worthy of one. The snow had started to fall halfway into town, big, large, wet flakes, and I pulled my hood up over my head while I continued my walk. I rounded the corner, and the little cafe that Drew and I had been in earlier in the week came into view. The memory of the hot chocolate I had there popped into my mind, and I decided I would head over and order one, text Drew, and wait for him there.

  I was just about to the door when I looked through the front window and stopped in my tracks. I took a deep breath, fighting the large, aching lump in my throat as I tried hard to process what it was I saw in front of me. As Drew's words from last night floated into my mind, I watched him kissing Laura in the front window of our little cafe.

  I felt my camera begin to slip through my fingers as I stood there watching as my heart broke. My camera hit the ground with a thud, not even the sound able to pull my gaze away from what was before me.

  Tears burned in my eyes seeing him with her. A car horn blared, tearing my attention away from my shattered dream. I bent and picked up my camera, brushing it off and spinning around so they were out of my sight, and I began the long, lonely walk back home.

  The tears continued to pour down my face, leaving cold trails of wet as the wind whipped around me. Then it was as if someone had thrown a switch, and I suddenly couldn't understand why I was crying. It wasn't as if we were in a relationship or anything. We had never talked about anything permanent, but every time that thought ran through my mind, my chest ached with an emptiness I couldn't understand. It was as if someone were taking a large knife and plunging it repeatedly into a fresh wound.

  When my parents’ house finally came into view, I practically ran up the hill. I had never been so glad to see home as I was right now. I ran up the front steps and through the front door, kicking my boots off and dropping my jacket to the floor before running upstairs and into my bedroom. I dropped to my bed and cried until the tears no longer fell, and a suddenly a wave of panic washed over me.

  I had to get out of here.

  I jumped up off the bed and pulled my duffle bags out from the closet and began packing my things. I was frantically shoving half a drawer of clothing into one when I heard the front door open. The soun
d of Ann Marie and my mother’s laugh carried up the stairs. I continued to shove handfuls of clothing into my bag and began ripping apart the remainder of the drawers, mindlessly shoving things inside. I was so engrossed in packing that I didn't hear my bedroom door open.

  "Lexi." I heard a soft voice behind me, but I ignored it and continued packing. "Lexi, honey, what’s wrong?"

  I stopped mid-shove and looked down at the mess of my duffle bag when I felt my mother's hands on my upper arms. In an instant, everything came pouring out of me, sobs shaking my body so hard that I had no choice but to drop everything.

  "Oh, Lexi. It's all right, sweetie." My mom quickly shut the door behind her and pulled me in for one of her comforting hugs. "Lexi, sweetheart, what happened?"

  "What hasn't happened?" I cried.

  "Talk to me, Lexi," she said, holding me close.

  I reached for the tissues and wiped at my eyes. "It's Drew. I saw him tonight with Laura…kissing."

  "All right."

  "I'm... Since he got here, we've been..." The words wouldn't pass my lips, and my cheeks heated at the thought of what I was going to tell my mother.

  "Do you love him, Lexi?"

  I didn't answer her question. Instead, I buried my face in her shoulder as the tears started to pour again. "I just can't do this, Mom. I need to get out of here," I said, instantly stopping the crying and turning to resume my packing.

  "Lexi." Mom grabbed my arm, but I pulled away from her touch. "Alexa, stop right now!" she gritted through clenched teeth. "Do you love him?"

  I slowly nodded my head, embarrassed at how stupid I had been getting involved with him in the first place. I dropped the shirts that were in my hand and turned to face my mother.

  "You can't assume things; you need to hear him out. Perhaps it isn't what you think."

  "I know what I saw, Mom," I barked back.

  "No, you think you know what you saw. Alexa, let me tell you something, and you can do what you want with this advice. You need to hear him out. What if he feels the same way for you? What if you don't give him the chance to let him explain to you what you saw and you just leave? What if you walking out on him breaks him completely? He has been hurt in the past by woman walking out on him. Not only by Laura, but his mother as well. I know Drew. I have known him his whole life, and I know he doesn't and never has entered any kind of intimate situation with a woman if he didn't feel there was something there. You need to remember that you are as important to him as the rest of this family, Alexa."

  "But we haven't been intimate," I lied, trying to swallow the embarrassment I felt at saying those words to my mother.

  "Lexi, one thing I am not is stupid. I've seen the way the two of you have been looking at one another. A person would have to be blind to not know that you are lying. Please give me just a little credit."

  I locked eyes with my mother and thought for a moment. Mom made sense, but a large part of me was terrified that if I did hear him out and it didn't end in my favor that I would be ruined.

  "And what if it was what I saw."

  "Well, it's better to know where you stand than to leave now and wonder about it forever. Plus, I think it’s best that you stay home here."

  "What is that supposed to mean?"

  "Just what I said. Lexi, you have been on the run for the past three years now, floating in and out of different chapters of your life. When things get tough, you pick up and you’re on your way again. I noticed it started the day grandma passed away."

  "No."

  "Yes, it did. Grandma passed, and a week later, you were on a flight to Australia. You worked there for a bit, got involved with a surfer, and when that went south, you moved to Italy. You came home only once that year for thirty-six hours, and then you took off again. It's a pattern that you have. Just like now."

  I looked at my mother and felt the tears building again. I remembered what I saw in that window tonight, and the urge to run was even greater than it had been before. "I can't stay, Mom. I can't bear to hear him say he wants her instead. Now please leave me in peace to pack my things."

  Chapter 25

  Drew

  I pulled away from Laura's lips and shook my head. "We're over, Laura," I said, placing my hands on her shoulders.

  "Drew, please. Don't make a scene. Just hear me out."

  "I have heard, and now there is nothing more for me to hear. We’ve been over for a long time," I said, reaching for my jacket.

  "I'm sorry. I just think we deserve to give us another chance."

  "There isn't an ‘us’ anymore, and it wasn't just the fact that you left me at the alter. The feelings that we had for one another left years ago. You know I wasn't even that upset that you didn't show up that day. What plagued me the most was why you didn't show."

  Laura looked down to her hands and inhaled deeply. "I guess I was afraid I might be missing out on something. I mean, when I think about it, I have been with you since I was sixteen."

  "And now..."

  "Well, now I know I am not missing out on anything except for you. I want you back. I made a mistake."

  "I'm sorry, Laura." I looked at her as she stood there with tears running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, but I can't be what you want me to be. There’s someone else."

  "What? What do you mean?" She sniffled, a look of shock and anger on her face.

  "Exactly what I said: there is someone else."

  "Who?"

  "Alexa." I threw my coat over my shoulders and quickly slipped my arms inside.

  Laura let out a loud laugh. "Please, Drew, don't be ridiculous. You two cannot possibly have anything in common."

  "I've got more in common with her than I ever did with you. I've got to go," I said, looking down at my watch. "I promised her I would be home early." Walking over to the door, the little bell announced my departure as I stepped out into the cold.

  I couldn't deny my heart any longer, and now that I had gotten my answers, I knew Laura wasn't a part of it. The kiss we had just shared felt as if I were kissing my sister. It ignited nothing in me, unlike the kisses I had shared with Lexi. She ignited something in me that I didn't even know was there.

  I glanced at my watch again; it was almost ten. I stood in the town square looking around. I couldn't go back empty-handed. The first thing my eyes landed on was the local jewelry store. I could see a soft light on in the front window and ran over, placing my hand up to the glass to see if I could see anyone inside. Sure enough, Mr. Richmond, the owner, sat in the chair behind the counter writing in his ledger book.

  I banged on the glass, hoping he would look my way. Sure enough, he did, but he waved his hand to signal that he was closed. That didn't stop me. Instead, I continued banging on the glass until he finally got up and came to the front door. He looked around, probably to make sure I was alone and wasn't going to ambush him. Once he was sure, he unlocked the door, opening it only far enough to bark out at me, "Son, we are closed. Need I remind you that it is Christmas."

  "I know, sir, but I beg you, please, just hear me out."

  Mr. Richmond looked at me as if I had lost my mind. "All right."

  "I need a ring."

  "Great, good for you," he said, shutting the door, but I put my hand up, stopping him.

  "No, sir, you don't understand. I need a ring, an engagement ring, tonight, before she's gone."

  He looked at me and rolled his eyes, opening the door a little more to let me in. "You crazy kids, haven't you heard of shopping before Christmas?" he barked, locking the door behind me.

  "Sir, please, if you would just show me to the engagement rings."

  "They are over there where I was sitting."

  I let him go first, walking over to the display cabinet and opening it with a key.

  I stood looking over the tray at my options, finally settling on a one-carat heart-shaped diamond with white gold band. I stood waiting while the man began boxing the ring.

  "So this girl, she must be pretty special to you i
f you're out here on Christmas."

  "She is very special, and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my ex-fiancée kissing me only a few moments ago."

  Mr. Richmond looked at me as if I had lost my mind. "You crazy kids. Next time get your shopping done before Christmas day," he said, handing me the little white felt box that he had tied a red ribbon around. I passed him my credit card and waited while he ran it through his machine.

  With the ring in my pocket, I began the walk home quickly, calling ahead to speak with Jim. I had to ask his permission before I got back to the house. I wanted Lexi to be surprised, but I also wanted to do things right. The phone rang twice before I heard Barbara's voice answer.

  "Hey, Barbara, it’s Drew. Is Jim there?" I asked, breathing hard into the phone.

  "Drew? Are you okay?"

  "I'm fine, just in a rush."

  "Certainly. Let me grab him." It was a matter of seconds before I heard Jim come over the phone asking me if I was okay.

  "I'm fine. Listen, this is important, and I know it’s going to come out of left field, and I'll explain everything later, but I wanted to ask you for your permission. I want to ask Lexi to marry me."

  Twenty minutes later, I was standing at the end of the driveway looking at the taillights of a cab. I frowned and felt my heart drop as the driver loaded four large duffel bags into the trunk of the car. I said nothing to the driver. Instead, I ran up the front steps and threw open the front door. I wanted my girl in my arms, and to say I was slightly panicking would be an understatement.

  Jim and Barbara looked up from where they sat, tears in Barbara's eyes. Zach and Ann Marie stood by the fireplace, Zach meeting my gaze as I shut the front door.

  "I told her not to pack, but she was insistent." Barbara said, shrugging her shoulders. "Even Ann Marie and Zach tried speaking with her," she said, wiping her nose with a balled-up tissue.