by Ella Goode
“Not sure Turner would be okay with that.” I roll my eyes. If Sebastian wanted to train me exclusively, then he should have made sure he showed up to do it. But since he hasn’t, I’m going to continue without him whether he likes it or not. And there may be a little part of me that wants him to find out I trained with someone else.
“You’re like his right-hand man. Plus Sebastian ditched me.” Ouch. It sounds worse when I say it out loud. I’m probably overreacting. He’s probably stuck doing work or something, and I’m pouting about it. “Please,” I push.
I don’t know if I’m begging out of spite or if I actually want to be trained. The past two days have made me more confident. Not that I’m going to do anything with that confidence but still. I enjoyed that feeling.
Saunders rubs the top of his shaved head.
“You’re here to protect me, right? I should know a few things to protect myself. Don’t you think?”
“You said it yourself. We’re here to protect you. You shouldn’t need training.”
“I can’t be shadowed for the rest of my life.”
“I think Turner and your brother would beg to differ.”
“You haven't said no,” I point out.
“All right. I’ll show you a few things.” We both head over to the giant mat. I start to show him what Sebastian has taught me already.
“If I can flip him then I can flip you.” He’s a bit smaller than Sebastian. No one is as big as him. I spin around, giving him my back to grab me.
A moment later his arms wrap around me, locking me to his body. I freeze as my heart starts to pound quickly. I close my eyes, trying to get a hold of myself as panic starts to rise up my throat. I yank and pull at his arm, but it does nothing. Everything Sebastian taught me goes right out the window. I gasp for air. Suddenly Saunders releases his hold on me. I stumble away.
“The fuck you think you’re doing?” Sebastian bellows at Saunders, who’s now on the floor.
“What she asked me to do,” Saunders throws back. He makes no effort to come to his feet. I rush over, grabbing Sebastian by his arm.
“I did. He didn’t do anything wrong.” Sebastian turns his head, his eyes locking with mine. The cold, deadly look in his eyes has me releasing his arm. I’ve never seen that look from him before.
“Get out of here. I’ll deal with you later.” Saunders comes to his feet half running to get out of the room.
“He didn’t do anything wrong. I asked him to train me.”
“You almost had a panic attack.” I swallow. He’s right, I had almost had an attack. I didn’t have that same fear when I trained with Sebastian. Here I was thinking I was making progress. I was so wrong. Nothing has changed for me. Except Sebastian. He’s changing toward me. At least it feels that way.
“He was trying to be helpful.” I roll my eyes, trying to play it off. “Besides. You were busy. You might not always be here.”
“I’ll always be here.” He takes a step toward me. “They all know not to touch you unless absolutely necessary.”
“Turner,” I hear my mom call.
Sebastian lets out a groan, running his hand down his face. Mom walks into the garage. He turns to face her.
“We aren’t done yet. We still have to handle the shoes,” Mom says to Sebastian. What the heck are they talking about?
“I figured black.”
“But what kind of black?”
“There are different colors of black?”
“Of course. We’ll need to adjust your shoes as well, Violet. We’ll need to get you high heels if you’re going to walk with Turner down the aisle.”
Wait. What? My mind flashes to me in a wedding dress walking down the aisle to Sebastian. My life is completely different from the one I’ve been living.
“Miles asked me to be his best man.” Of course he did. I feel a smidge better that it was my mom that held Sebastian up. Still, it didn’t change the space he’s been trying to keep between us.
“The man is a giant compared to you. You’re going to need four-inch heels. Maybe five.” Years ago, that wouldn’t have been a problem. Not so much anymore. I can’t remember the last time I wore heels. I used to love them. It was all I ever wore.
“I can’t wear four-inch heels, Mom.”
“Of course you can, honey. Turner will make sure you don’t trip,” Mom responds. “Just hang on to him.”
Sebastian swallows. It’s so subtle I almost miss it. I don’t think Sebastian wants me hanging on to him anymore.
Anger starts to bloom inside of me. It’s always there packed away in a tight little box. Now it’s pushing out, making me snap at innocent targets.
“I can walk myself down the damn aisle. I can still do some things for myself.” I turn, stomping off like a brat. I race back to the pool house to lock myself away from everyone. No one can hurt me there.
Then again, I think it’s me that’s hurting myself.
Chapter Seven
Sebastian
“The new delivery driver checks out. Used to work at the National Packaging Service and United Express before getting hired at Triple Fast Delivery. He was not fired from the previous jobs but moved because of salary. His credit rating is excellent with no outstanding debts other than a few thousand on his credit. The last purchases recorded include a gaming console which, fuck, I had no idea were so expensive and a pair of sneakers that he bought from a secondhand site that cost over a grand.” Welsh recites from his notepad.
“The gaming console price surprises you but the used shoes do not?” I flip through the report that the background specialist has provided.
“My brother is a sneakerhead, and so I’m sadly aware that even a grand can be considered cheap.”
“Does it seem odd to you that he’s making two big splurge purchases in one cycle? That seems to indicate that he’s had a windfall of cash.” The lack of debt is also raising my eyebrows. The average citizen has around five grand of debt. This guy has almost nothing except his recent purchases. Even his car is paid off. “When did the auto loan get satisfied?”
“Mmm—” Welsh searches for it. “About eight months ago.”
“Dig a little deeper.”
“Will do. Anything else you want me to look into?”
I drum my fingers against the desk. “One thing that’s been bugging me is where’s Adam going to stay after he’s released? His lease expired so he can’t return there.”
“I guess we wait to see who picks him up, if anyone does.”
“I wish this damn wedding was over. There are too many variables. Too many people we don’t know invading Violet’s space.” She’s been cranky lately, and that attitude usually only comes out when she feels threatened. It’s a shitty situation because Miles and Eden want to get married with their family and friends, but Violet can’t handle anyone outside of the family. Her easy acceptance of Eden and Eden’s brother is a little surprising to me because Violet doesn’t warm up to people immediately, but those two checked out okay. Eden had a shit ton of debt, and her old man was connected to shady people, but we cleaned that mess up easily. And none of it came home. It was all handled on the outside.
But the wedding...shit, we’ve had caterers, bakers, stylists, and more inside the house. I hate it. I want to firebomb the living room whenever I walk in. No wonder Violet’s snapping at people. I would too. They’re violating her safe space.
She would never say anything. She already feels too guilty about developing agoraphobia. No matter how many times I tell her that wanting to feel safe at all times is not wrong, she has it in her mind she’s a burden. I don’t know how to get around it.
“Welsh said y’all got a new shipment of guns in the other day,” Dad says over dinner that night. “I was thinking about coming over and trying them out.”
“B&T has a new pistol they’ve sent around. It’s a bolt action with a magazine of 6. Smooth and very quiet. You’d like it.”
Mom clears her throat until we both look at her. “I would re
ally appreciate it if we did not talk about guns at the table. It’s very unappetizing.”
“What’re we going to talk about then, Betty? Flowers? Knitting? Let the boys have some boy time.”
“Not flowers.” She shudders.
“Mom,” I warn.
“What? Did I say something wrong?” She blinks innocently but I know that was a dig toward Violet.
“You riling Bach up intentionally?”
“His name is Sebastian David.”
“Those are some weak fucking names. Bach’s a real name. Has a hardness to it.”
“Bach was a pianist.”
“World class too. Think he diddled himself with his fingers? Like being with someone who plays that piano thing would be good at that?”
“Why are you talking about masturbation at my dinner table?” The pitch of Mom’s voice is reaching the point of no return.
My parents can’t stand each other. Dad was in the Marines for twenty years, and when he retired, Mom almost divorced him because he was around too much. She got a job at a local retail store, not because she likes working but because she’d rather hear customer complaints than listen to my dad. Dad spends most of his time watching the golf channel and coming down to the range to shoot all my guns, which works out for everyone. The problem is family dinners. Every Sunday night, we sit down and pretend like we three aren’t the most dysfunctional collective around. If Violet spent one meal with us, she’d shove her foot into my ass and boot me out into the street.
“What’s this about flowers anyway?” Dad tries to drag me into the fight.
“She means Violet. She doesn’t want me to spend time with Violet.”
“Who’s Violet? What kind of weird name is that? Her parents on drugs when they named her?”
I close my eyes and pray for patience. “No. Dad. It’s just a flower. It’s a pretty name.”
“So she’s pretty?”
“Yes. Very.”
“Don’t encourage him, Cash! Violet is not acceptable. She won’t leave her house, and she’s not interested in him. We will not have any grandchildren if he keeps sniffing after her!”
Dad puts his fork down. “Is your mother right?”
She won’t leave her house. She’s not interested in me. They won’t have grandchildren if I keep pining after her. “Depends on what your definition of acceptable is. Under mine, she ticks all the boxes. She’s smart, pretty, kind, and sexy as hell. Can’t ask for anything more in a woman.”
Dad’s eyes narrow. “What’s this about her not leaving her house?”
“She’s agoraphobic. Developed it after she was subjected to some intense stalking.
Dad points a long finger toward Mom. “You better put an end to this.”
She slams down her knife. “I’ve been trying. Maybe you should get involved.”
He turns to me. “You’re not dating her. End of story. Move on.”
“I’m not eighteen, guys. I’m thirty-five. You don’t get to dictate to me who I do or do not see.”
“You want to keep coming to this house, having dinner with your family, then you will listen to me.” He glares.
As a kid, I would’ve pissed my pants at that look, but I’m not, so I push my chair back from the table, grab my jacket, and walk out. And I don’t look back.
Chapter Eight
Violet
If I wasn't so annoyed this might be a bit of fun. Mom put together some bridal shower thing. There are about twenty ladies scattered about on the back patio. Mom has gone all out for it. She didn't miss one detail. Even the napkins have been monogrammed. Too bad the food blows.
“I can’t believe he’s actually getting married.” I hear someone say a few tables away from me. Lucky for me she clearly has had one too many glasses of champagne and has no idea she’s not whispering. Jealousy and envy are running rampant at this little shindig.
It’s fun to watch these women try and smile when really they want to throw tantrums over the fact that someone finally landed Miles. Not to mention that she’s an outsider. That’s really got them all in a tizzy. It’s marvelous, if I do say so myself.
“Oh, that is just breathtaking,” Mom says when Eden opens the next gift. She scrunches her nose, eyeing the five-piece place setting. It is some vintage set that is far too expensive, I’m sure. Whoever bought this gift didn’t get it for Eden. They got it in order to suck up to my mom.
“I’m guessing this isn’t dishwasher safe.” I snort a laugh at Eden’s comment. I love that she’s so down to earth. A few of the girls let out gasps.
“That’s real gold,” Katie Winchester informs her tartly. She’s the worst one in the entire group. All day she’s been trying to get close to Eden, being extra friendly. I knew she would only be able to last for so long before some of her nastiness began to slip out. The same way it always does.
“On a plate?” Eden’s eyes glance over to me, looking for help.
“Better than Elvis’s toilet,” I say, making Eden giggle. No one else joins in.
Mom hurries on to the next gift but not before shooting me a warning look. I smooth the nonexistent wrinkles out of my dress, wondering if this is going to be over soon. I hate when there are this many people at the house. The uncertainty makes me feel uneasy.
Once everyone arrived and were all seated, my nerves calmed down some. It's the moving around and people coming in and out that can get me worked up. I noticed everyone here is female, including the people helping with the party.
I wonder if Sebastian had something to do with that. I wouldn’t put it past him. He can be a bit of a control freak when it comes to my safety. So I’m sure he went over every detail with a fine-tooth comb for this get-together. Is that one of the reasons I’ve been seeing less of him?
For a moment I let myself pretend he did it because he’s beyond jealous when it comes to me and not because of all my messed-up issues. The ones that are starting to affect everyone’s life around me. Even though no one will come out and say it. Even Mom has kept her lips sealed. It's making me a bit self-conscious, wondering if they might be talking about it when I’m not around.
“So. How about you, Violet? Any wedding bells in your future?” Kinley asks.
“Are you dating someone?” Clare leans in more, wanting to be the first to know any gossip.
“Nope. I’m not dating anyone,” I say, trying to shut this down.
“It’s okay. I know it’s weird your brother is getting married before you and all.” She gives me a sympathetic smile. “But I’m sure one day you might find someone.” She doesn’t sound as if she believes that. You’d think I was an old maid or something.
“Thanks,” I mumble before I shoveI one of the small cucumber sandwiches into my mouth. It’s so terrible I end up spitting it out in my napkin. I really can’t deal with the no carb or gluten free thing that everyone seems to be doing these days. I would kill to have a pizza right now.
I grab the water off the table and take a drink to wash the taste out of my mouth. At the sound of a high-pitched scream of excitement, I drop my glass on the table, shattering it. My heart lodges in my throat. I start to inwardly panic.
“I got you that. Isn’t it just perfect?!” Katie squeals. All the women at my table stare at me like I’ve lost my mind. One of the servers rushes over to help clean up my mess. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that Sebastian has stepped outside. He’s got his eyes locked on me. I instantly feel a sense of relief, knowing that he’s close by.
“Did someone hire entertainment? I didn’t think your mom would get a stripper.” Clare laughs. She wouldn’t. I would have at one time as a joke to ruffle her feathers, but lately I try to not be noticed or bother anyone more than I already do.
“Damn. I hope so. He’s looking this way,” Kinley says. It’s then I realize they are all staring at my Sebastian. He’s not mine, I mentally correct myself. I’m at my limit for the day, and I’m starting to get hangry.
“Excuse me. I need to use
the ladies’ room,” I lie to make my escape. Guilt hits me when I see Eden and Mom’s faces fall at me slipping out. They both try to quickly hide it, but it’s too late. I see the pity in their eyes.
“Violet,” Sebastian calls after me once I enter the house. I keep walking, wanting to get away from the staff flooding the kitchen. He follows, pulling me into the study. “Are you okay?” I hate that question coming from him. I hate it more knowing that it’s the reason he’s chasing after me.
“Yeah. I’m not a child. You don’t have to check on me.”
“Trust me, Violet. I know you’re not a fucking child.” His eyes roam up and down me. That heated stare he used to often give me is back.
“Why is it so hot when you curse?” Who am I kidding? Everything he does is hot. His lips twitch, making my insides warm. Gosh, this feels good. It always does when Sebastian is near me. When he flirts and plays with me, I forget about everything else in my life. It’s only him and me. It's one of the only times I feel as if I’m a normal girl without a care in the world.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” His eyes drop to my mouth, making me lick my lips. Damn I want to kiss him again. To give in for a little and forget about today. The hell with it.
“Do you want to order pizza and make out?” I blurt out. He raises his eyebrows but doesn’t respond. “Never mind.” I try to slip past him, but he blocks me.
“You know I do, Violet. You just caught me off guard. Christ, I swear you’re the only person that can.” He’s smiling as he says it.
“Then give me your phone.” I hold my hand out. “I’ll order.” He pulls his phone out, handing it over to me after he unlocks it. “I promise I won't peek into your pictures,” I tease him. “Besides. I don’t see you as a man who sends dick pics.”
“No, but if you want one…” he teases me right back, making me laugh as I pull up the website to order. The phone vibrates in my hand, a text popping up from his mom.
Mom: What about Rose Sinclaire? She’ll be over for Sunday dinner. Dress nice and no masturbation talk.