The Flawed Heart Series

by Wade, Ellie

  “No. I mean, we’ve had a couple of awkward moments, but they always pass. It’s been great. I’ve loved helping with Evan. And I know you’re not a fan of Sarah, but please try. She’s very special to me, and she’ll always be in my life.”

  “Huh. I’ll try if she tries.” I cross my arms over my chest.

  “There’s the London I know and love,” Loïc kids with a chuckle. He says in a serious tone, “I know she’s not your favorite person, but she really helped me get through everything.”

  “I would have helped you if you had let me,” I grumble.

  “I know.” Loïc grins. “Come here. I need your lips.”

  We kiss like two PDA-obsessed teenagers, and I couldn’t care less. The gate attendant calls our flight for boarding.

  “Do you remember the first time we were on a plane together?” I ask Loïc with a smirk.

  Loïc grabs our carry-ons, and we line up. “Sure do. I was coming back from drill. Louisville, Kentucky.”

  “Seems like so long ago,” I say thoughtfully.

  “I remember how badly you wanted me back then. Ah, and your Twenty Questions game. God, I was kinda an ass, too, wasn’t I?” Loïc strings random thoughts together, obviously replaying that flight in his head.

  I laugh. “A little bit, but it just made me want you more. And, yeah…I wanted you, but you’re the one who kissed me, so you wanted me, too.”

  “Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t.” He grins down at me.

  “Oh, you did.”

  He did.

  It seems so weird to be driving up to Loïc’s house. So much has happened since the last time I stepped foot inside this place. Most notably, Cooper’s death. The house isn’t going to seem the same without Cooper making it smell amazing with his cooking skills.

  Yet the first thing that surprises me when we walk in is how good it smells. Loïc holds my hand and leads me to the kitchen, and I almost expect to see Cooper standing there, but instead, it’s her.

  She has her back to us. Her blonde hair is up in a messy bun. A pink apron is tied around her tiny waist as she stirs something inside a bowl while her hips move from side to side to the music playing from the speakers.

  “Hey. We’re home,” Loïc says quietly so that he won’t startle her.

  She jumps anyway before reaching for the speakers and turning down the music. “Hey!” she says cheerfully to Loïc.

  I watch her gaze trail from Loïc to me and then down to our entwined hands.

  “Well, looks like you had quite the trip. I’d ask if it was a good one, but I can see that it was. Hi, London. How are you?” She smiles, and it almost looks sincere.

  “Good. How are you?”

  “Just great. Getting the food prepped for the party tomorrow.”

  “Oh, where’s the baby?” I ask excitedly right about the time I notice the Pack ’N Play in the corner of the kitchen.

  A little blond cherub is standing up, holding the side of the playpen. He’s now shaking it back and forth, saying, “Yo, Yo, Yo.”

  “Hey, buddy.” Loïc picks him and swoops him through the air with airplane sounds while Evan giggles. “Ev, I want you to meet someone really special.” Loïc holds baby Evan at his side. “Can you say London?”

  “Yo!” Evan calls out.

  “Yes, Yo’s home, buddy,” Loïc says to the baby. He turns to me. “He can’t say his Ls or make the ick sound, so my name comes out as Yo.”

  “Aw, that’s adorable. You make a cute Uncle Yo.” I reach out toward Evan, and he grabs my finger and shakes it. “Aren’t you just the cutest?” I say to him.

  I turn to see Sarah watching us. “What’s on the menu for tomorrow?” I ask her.

  “Um, let’s see. Grilled barbeque chicken, cheesy hash-brown casserole, homemade coleslaw, a ginger poppy-seed salad, some finger-food type stuff, and of course, the cake.”

  “Oh, wow. You’re making all of that yourself?” I ask, impressed.

  “Everything but the cake. I’m ordering that,” she answers.

  “Sarah has become an amazing cook,” Loïc says proudly.

  “Maybe you can teach me. I’m hopeless. My roommate, Kate, has tried to teach me, but it’s just not in my nature.” I shrug.

  “If I can learn, anyone can.” She turns back around and continues stirring.

  “Do you want me to give Ev his bath and lay him down?” Loïc asks.

  “Would you mind? I have a ton more to do in here.”

  “Of course. I’d love to.”

  I follow Loïc to the bathroom and watch as he bathes Evan. Loïc is so sweet with him, and it’s obvious that this little boy adores him. The silly voices that Loïc uses to make Evan laugh are enough to set my ovaries on fire.

  Like, seriously, impregnate me now.

  Loïc dries Evan off with a fluffy bear towel, gets his diaper situated, and dresses him in his pajamas. I’m amazed at how easily he put that diaper on. I don’t think I’ve ever changed a diaper in my life.

  “You are so damn hot right now,” I blurt out.

  Loïc looks up from the rocker where he’s holding Evan. “My Elmo voice turns you on?” He chuckles.

  “All of it. It’s weird, I know, but the last twenty minutes, it’s the sexiest I’ve ever seen you.”

  “Okay,” Loïc says, shaking his head with a wide grin.

  “Maybe it’s imagining you as a dad to our kids someday.” The sentence comes out, and I don’t regret it.

  I realize that, tomorrow, Loïc and I will have only been back together for a week. But, after experiencing what it’s like to be apart, I’m certain we’ll never go through that again. This time is the real deal. I’m not in the mood to take it slow. I want Loïc, so it’s full steam ahead. I want marriage and babies. I want the life. I want forever.

  “So, how many kids do you want?” he asks me in a whisper as he continues to rock Evan.

  “I’m not sure. I’d say at least two. I don’t want an only child, but I’m not sure I could handle more than two either. Let’s see how good of a mom I am to two, and then we can decide if any more would be a good idea.”

  “You’ll be a great mom.”

  “I don’t know if I will,” I say truthfully.

  “Well, I do.”

  “How are you so certain?”

  “As a parent, all you need to do is love your child, and everything else works out. And, when you love, London, you love fiercely. I have no worries.” He grins back at me. “So, I agree to two, and any more are to be determined.”

  “I like that—to be determined.”

  Loïc lays the baby down in his crib, and the two of us sneak out of the room and close the door.

  “As long as I have you, the rest of my life can be to be decided. I’m open for anything, except for spending my life without you; that’s nonnegotiable.” Loïc pulls me against him and places a kiss on my forehead.

  “I agree to those terms, sir.”

  “I’d like to continue this conversation in my room—naked. It’d also be hot if you threw in a few more sirs in there as well,” he jokes before kissing and sucking on my neck.

  I giggle as Loïc picks me up and carries me into his room.

  It’s hard to wrap my mind around this past week. For the first time in a very long time, I have no regrets, and my soul is completely at peace.

  Loïc’s right about one thing. I love him something fierce.

  London

  “There’s nothing better than two whole and happy people being together, creating an epic love story.”

  —London Wright

  Holding my cell to my ear, I continue my conversation with Paige, “Okay, listen, Paige. This is very important to me. Please?”

  “You seriously want me to go to Loïc’s after all this time to pick up a box of your old stuff? Can’t you just buy them again?”

  “No, these things are irreplaceable. I need them,” I plead.

  “And you’re just now missing them?” She doesn’t sound convince
d.

  “No, I’ve missed them the whole time, but I finally got Loïc to respond to an email about picking them up. He has them all boxed up and ready. You just have to go over there and get them for me.”

  “And he knows I’m coming?”

  “Yes, he’s expecting you, but it has to be right now, or he’ll probably throw them away.”

  “That’s rude,” she says. “Okay, I’ll head over there.”

  “Great. Look cute,” I add.

  “Why does it matter if I look cute?”

  “Because I want my ex-boyfriend to see what he’s missing by not dating me—my hot best friend.” It’s lame, but I’m not the best at coming up with lies in the spur of the moment.

  “You’re making no sense. Cali has made you weird.”

  “Okay, go now. Remember, it’s urgent and imminent trash. Hurry,” I say.

  “What?” she asks, exasperated.

  “You know, my stuff…in the trash…if you don’t hurry. Go!”

  I can hear her shuffling around on the other end.

  “I’m on it. Call you in a few.”

  “Okay! Thanks, Paigey Poo!”

  Fifteen minutes later, Paige is calling my cell.

  “Hello?” I answer.

  “He’s having a big party. I can’t go up to his house and ask for his ex-girlfriend’s things while he’s having a party.”

  “You have to, Paige. He said it had to be today, or he’d throw them out. Go. Go.”

  “Jeez, stop getting your shirt all in a twist. I’m going.”

  “It’s panties. And thank you!”

  A minute later, there’s a knock on Loïc’s door, and I pull it open wide. “Why, hello!”

  Paige’s mouth drops open. She looks around, like the porch is going to give her answers. “What’s going on, London?”

  “Oh…well, surprise! Loïc and I are back together!” I cheer as I pull Paige into a hug.

  She’s not quite to the stage of jumping up and down with her best friend because she’s so happy, but I make her jump with me anyway.

  Paige starts laughing. “What the hell, London? I’m so freaking confused!”

  “Long story short, I ran into Loïc in LA. Turns out, he came for me last year, but he saw me with Brad. So, he left. He loves me, and I love him, so we’re back together. He was in Cali with me this past week, and I came back here for a long weekend. I’ll be here until Tuesday. Oh, and today is Sarah’s baby’s one-year birthday party. Yay!”

  “Whoa, chica. You need to lay off the coffee.” Paige chuckles and pulls me into another hug. “It’s so good to see you.” She squeezes me tight. “So, there’s no box of stuff?”

  “Nope. Just me.” I grin. “I just thought it would be fun to surprise you.”

  “I’m definitely surprised.” Paige looks around the foyer before whispering, “How are things with Sarah?”

  “Pretty good. I don’t think she’s my biggest fan, but oh well. She and Loïc never hooked up, so I’m happy about that.”

  “No doubt. I have a feeling that you have so many more things to tell me.”

  “Oh, I do,” I agree. “We’ll have a girls’ day tomorrow. Deal?”

  “Deal.”

  “You have to see Loïc’s nephew. He is the cutest thing ever. Come on.” I pull Paige’s hand and lead her toward the sliding glass door that opens to the backyard. “Oh, one more thing that I should warn you about, especially since Loïc is wearing shorts and the metal leg is pretty noticeable; Loïc lost his leg in Afghanistan. Feel free to ask him about it though. He’s very open now. He’s different…but the same, too.”

  Paige shakes her head. “Wow. This is crazy. And you are hopped up on some strong drug or something. You’re way too happy.”

  “It’s called the drug of love, Paige. The. Drug. Of. Looove.” I grab her hand and pull her outside.

  Paige laughs. “Tomorrow can’t come fast enough. I need to find out what you’ve done to my best friend.”

  “I might have had one too many espressos,” I admit with a giggle. “I didn’t get much sleep last night, and this time difference is killing me.”

  “So, you’re high on love and caffeine.”

  “Basically, yes,” I nod exuberantly.

  We reach Loïc where he’s holding Evan. He’s standing in a circle of people, including Sarah, Maggie, and Maggie’s family. Cooper’s sisters are here somewhere as well.

  “Hey, Paige. Good to see you,” Loïc says.

  “Yeah, you, too,” Paige answers.

  “How was the surprise?” He chuckles, obviously noting Paige’s still mildly confused expression.

  “It was something. I was definitely surprised.”

  “I bet. Well, this is the birthday boy, Sarah’s little guy. His name is Evan.”

  “Oh, he’s so cute!” Paige exclaims as she reaches out to the baby to rub his chubby little hand.

  “Told ya,” I say.

  I stand beside Maggie and give her a side hug as Paige continues to talk to Loïc and play with Evan.

  “How’s work, Mags?” I ask, happy to be around her again.

  “It’s good. Busy but good.” She nods with a slight smile.

  I think about how odd it still is for me to see Maggie without Cooper, and I have to ask, “How are you?” I know that she understands what I mean.

  She forces out a small, sad chuckle. “I’m okay, London. Every day is still hard, but at the same time, each day gets a little easier. Does that make sense?”

  I nod. “Yeah, it does.”

  “I’m thrilled for you and Loïc. I’ve always loved you two together. You’re good for him. I love seeing him so happy,” she says warmly, smiling toward Loïc.

  “Thank you. I’m happy for us, too.” I follow her gaze and find Loïc watching us with a big grin.

  He winks at me, and I shake my head with a chuckle.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sarah as her head whips between Loïc and me, noticing our exchange. She leaves the group and walks back toward the house.

  “I’m going to go see if Sarah needs any help in the kitchen,” I say to the group.

  “That’s nice of you, babe.” Loïc puckers his lips, and I meet them with mine, softly kissing him.

  “I try.” I shoot him a wink before heading inside.

  When I get to the kitchen, Sarah is ladling coleslaw from a mixing bowl into a serving dish, but she’s doing it with such force that little pieces of cabbage are flying out from the dish with each spoonful she throws in.

  “Do you need any help?” I ask as cheerfully as possible.

  Sarah’s back stiffens, and she turns toward me. Her eyes are red with tears. “You? Help me? Oh, that’s unlikely,” she says with a huff, turning back to the bowl.

  “Is something wrong, Sarah?” I attempt to extend an olive branch. I’m going to have to deal with this woman forever. It’d be nice if she didn’t hate me.

  She spins to face me again. “If you want to help me, you’ll leave. Go back to LA, and stay away from Loïc.”

  “I can’t do that,” I say with a shake of my head.

  “You ruin everything. I was so close. He just needed a little bit longer. Loïc is meant to be with me, London. Me! Not you. You can’t possibly begin to understand him or what he’s been through. I do.” A tear falls down her cheek.

  Although the majority of me thinks she’s an extreme bitch, a part of me knows that she’s just hurting. “I’m so sorry that you’re upset, Sarah. I am. Truly. I know what it’s like to love someone so much and not be able to be with him. But I’m not sorry for loving Loïc. He wants to be with me just as much as I want to be with him. I’m not going anywhere. I can guarantee that.

  “We need to learn to get along. Maybe, someday, we could even be friends. You can’t make Loïc choose between us because I can guarantee you that you wouldn’t be happy with his choice.

  “And you’re right. No, I don’t know his past as well as you do. But I don’t need to understan
d everything he’s been through. I just have to love him through it. You have his past, I know that, and I’m glad you had each other. But I have his future, and that’s not going to change.”

  I turn, leaving Sarah with her mouth agape, and I head back out to the party.

  “Everything all right?” Loïc asks when I reach him.

  “Everything’s great.” I wrap my arms around him and hug him tight.

  Paige is holding Evan up and spinning him around as he giggles incessantly.

  I sure hope Sarah comes to her senses because I would hate for anything to happen that’d put stress on Loïc’s relationship with his nephew.

  Gosh, why do girls have to be such emotional basket cases?

  I laugh to myself, thinking about how I was post-Loïc breakup. I was such a mess that I had to move across the country.

  “What’re you laughing about?” Loïc asks.

  “You.”

  “What about me?”

  “Just how addictive you are. Detoxing from you is a major downer.”

  “Well, I’m not going anywhere, so there will be no more detoxing for you.” He kisses me.

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  “This is the life. I’ve missed this,” I say to Paige as I lean back in the comfortable leather chair that’s massaging my back while my pedicurist is massaging my feet.

  “Don’t you and Kate get mani-pedis?” Paige asks.

  “Rarely. Kate is teaching me how to live the frugal life. Believe it or not, we give each other mani-pedis. We have this little foot-massaging kit and everything.”

  “You make enough money to afford a manicure every now and then.” Paige looks over to me.

  “I know, but Kate doesn’t make as much as I do. So, we tend to live to her budget. It’s actually been kinda fun. It’s like an adventure to see how far you can make your money stretch. You saw what we did with our apartment.”

  “Yeah, I was super impressed. That was awesome. I still can’t believe you didn’t pay a designer.”

  “Nope. It was all us.” The thought brings me pride.

  “So, now that you’re on this independent kick, are you just never going to touch your trust fund again or what?” Paige asks.

  “No, I will—eventually. But for something important. I’m thinking I’ll use it to buy a nice home for my family to live in someday.”