The Flawed Heart Series

by Wade, Ellie

  Eventually, I break the silence. “You know what I’ve realized? We wear scars from our past, some deeper than others. Some are visible, and some aren’t. Yet they all serve to remind us that we made it. We fought. We survived. We’ve earned the right to live with joy in our hearts. Don’t let the past define you; let it fuel you. You didn’t have a choice when you were a child, but you do now. Choose to allow the light in. You’re worth it. Evan is worth it. The baby in your belly is worth it. Happiness is worth the fight.”

  Sarah releases a long breath. “I know. You’re right. I knew you’d know what to say. I can’t keep sabotaging everything good in my life.”

  “No, you can’t,” I agree. “When you feel like you’re going to, talk to Dixon. He’ll be able to help you.”

  “I really did get lucky with him, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, you did. And he did, too. You’re an incredible person, Sarah,” I say truthfully.

  “Thank you for being here. This weekend wouldn’t have been the same without you.” She wraps her arms around my middle and hugs me.

  I hug her back. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else. You know that.”

  “So, back to baby names,” she says with a chuckle, breaking the heavy mood.

  I throw my head back with a laugh. “And, with that…I’m calling it a night.”

  “You sure? I have lots of new ones I can run by you,” she kids as we stand from the swing.

  “Oh, I’m sure.” I grin.

  We enter the house before stopping in front of the guest bedroom, and I pull Sarah into a hug. “See you in the morning, beautiful.”

  “Sweet dreams, Loïc. I love you.”

  “Love you, too. Get some sleep.” I kiss her on the forehead.

  I release her and step back. A thoughtful glance is exchanged before Sarah heads down the hall to her room. Our stare connected for only a moment, but in that small space of time, I saw what I needed to see—her big blue eyes full of hope. I sigh with relief before opening the bedroom door.

  Hope is the catalyst for happiness. The first step to a future void of torment is to allow one’s heart to be open and vulnerable to trust.

  London

  “The thing about destiny is that it doesn’t have to make sense; it simply is. It’s real and true and unbreakable.”

  —London Berkeley

  I take a step back, admiring my work. It smells like the Garden of Eden beneath this white party tent, and the view is simply breathtaking. The backyard has been transformed into a picturesque oasis. Each table is adorned with a beautiful vase of flowers. The poles holding the tent up are wrapped in strands of white roses. Ornate vases exploding with blooms start the beginning of each row of white chairs that face the altar—a trellis of floral perfection.

  Months ago, when planning for this date with Sarah, she stated that she wanted a quaint, low-cost backyard wedding. When I asked her what kinds of flowers she wanted, she suggested skipping flowers because of the cost. I offered to supply the flowers as part of our gift because they bring such a soft, romantic element to a wedding.

  Sarah didn’t have a favorite, so I ordered them all. If a flower comes in pink or white, it’s in this backyard. Looking around, some might say I went overboard, but I say I accomplished something magical. Everywhere you look, you’re surrounded by gorgeous blooms.

  When Sarah steps off the deck in just a couple of hours, she’s going to feel like a princess. I want her to have that. I want this to be one of the happiest days of her life, one that signifies the beginning of something great—the part of her journey where there’s only joy and no pain.

  Sarah has never been my favorite person in the world. That’s no secret. Yet my ill feelings toward her in the past stemmed from jealousy and insecurity where Loïc was concerned. It’s taken time and help from Loïc, but I’ve let all of my negativity toward Sarah go.

  I understand enough about Sarah to know that her life has been hard. She’s been through things so far from my reality that I have a difficult time grasping even the concept of them. If our places were reversed, I don’t know that I could have survived. She’s so strong. She’s navigated this life with virtually no one. Yes, she had Loïc for a bit, but she lost him, too. If anyone deserves a happily ever after, it’s her.

  “Well, if this doesn’t have London Wright written all over it, then I don’t know what does.”

  One of my favorite voices in the world breaks my thoughts.

  I turn toward my best friend. A giant smile is plastered on my face as we pull each other into an enormous hug.

  “Paigey Poo, I missed you. It’s been too long.” I continue to squeeze her tight.

  Pulling away from our embrace, she says, “It really has.”

  “And it’s Berkeley now,” I add.

  “I know, but you’ll always be a Wright girl to me. So, where is that man of yours?”

  “He’s inside, playing with Evan, while Sarah gets her hair done. Speaking of men, where’s yours?” I ask.

  Paige lets out a sound of disgust. “Hopefully, in a gutter somewhere, swimming in STDs.”

  “Oh no! That bad?”

  “Yeah, I know how to pick them. But you know what they say; piles of shit just make you stronger.”

  I laugh with a shake of my head. “No one says that. I’ve heard, What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I shoot her a wink. “My masterpiece here is finished, so let’s sit. I want to hear all about this shit you speak of.”

  We plop down in two of the chairs set up for the ceremony.

  “So, what happened with Edward? I thought he had potential to be the one.”

  “Yeah, me, too. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought that. The douche face had another girlfriend on the side. For all I know, he could have had several. You know how he had to leave a few days every week for business trips? Yeah, well, there’s no traveling involved in his job after all.”

  “No way. When’d you find out? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Just last week. I knew I’d see you here, and this is the kind of news that requires a face-to-face convo.” Her lips pull up into a weighted smile.

  “Yes, and a major Ben and Jerry’s–eating, couch-lying, Netflix-watching marathon.” I bite my lip, tapping my index finger against it, as I think out loud. “Now, we’re going to have to figure out how to work our pity party around the wedding.”

  Paige laughs. “Yes, you can throw the best pity parties.”

  “Yeah…well, I had a lot of practice while Loïc and I were separated.” A desperate chill runs through me just thinking about that time in my life.

  “It’s okay. I don’t need one. I had a pity party of sorts on my own this week. I’m just ready to move on.”

  “A party of one? That’s sad. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” I pout.

  “Are you kidding? No, you’re not.” Paige scoffs. “You were off, skipping through Savannah, hand in hand with the man of your dreams, while on assignment for the job of your dreams.”

  I hold up my hand, a serious expression on my face. “We did not skip.”

  “It’s okay,” Paige says with a chuckle. “We aren’t single college girls anymore. Growing up means not having your best friend available to you at all times. Right?”

  “Maybe not in person but via the phone, always. You know you can call me night or day.”

  “I know,” Paige agrees. “It’s okay. I handled it.”

  “So, tell me what happened. How’d you find out?”

  A genuine smile graces Paige’s face. “Well, that part was actually quite epic. So, you know how I told you that Edward told me that he was going to be in Miami for work for a few days?”

  “Yeah.” I fidget in the chair, anxious to hear the rest. No one tells a story like Paige.

  “Well, while he was gone, I went out to dinner with Elle at this new Italian restaurant in Ann Arbor—BTW, you would freak over this place. So good! Anyway, halfway through dinner, I noticed a couple sucking face in
one of the corner booths. Elle and I were totally obsessed with talking about them because it was like a high school make-out session. We were timing how long it would take them to come up for air and making bets on what each person looked like. I guessed that she had a nose as big as Connecticut and looked a little homely, like a librarian. And he’d be this computer geek. I mean, my thought process was that they must not date much because they were kissing like they’d never kissed before.”

  “Oh my gosh,” I say on a chuckle.

  “Yeah.” Paige nods in agreement. “So, after fifteen minutes, they come up for air. Elle won a free dessert from me for that one. I had them lasting only eight minutes. And, lo and behold, it wasn’t a librarian and a computer geek. It was Edward and some ridiculously hot chick.”

  “Oh no.”

  “Exactly. Oh freaking no.”

  “So, what happened?” I ask.

  “Well, I wasn’t just going to sit there. So, I got up and walked over to them. Edward’s face turned white when he saw me. I said to Edward, ‘So weird to see you here, honey. When you said you were going to be in Miami for a few days, I didn’t realize Miami was a two-bit hooker. Hopefully, your trip doesn’t last a full three days because, when you get back, your shit will be on the lawn outside the window, and I think I saw something about rain in the forecast.’ And then I turned to the girl and said, ‘Nice to meet you, Miami. I’m Paige, Edward’s girlfriend of eight months. You should really try the portabello ravioli here. The cream sauce is to die for.’ Then, I turned and walked away.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “I would have given anything to be a fly on the wall. What’d they do? What’d they say?”

  “Absolutely nothing. They both just looked at me in shock with their mouths hanging open. As far as breakups go, it was pretty amazing.”

  “You are my freaking hero, Paige.” I shake my head in wonder. “If that had been me and I saw Loïc like that, I would have fallen apart. Seriously, I want to be you when I grow up.”

  Paige shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m sure your breakup would have been pretty epic, too. You’re a strong cookie, London. Plus, Edward obviously wasn’t my Loïc…you know? After a week, I’m pretty much over him, and that tells me something.”

  “So, did you really throw his stuff out the window?”

  “Hell yes. As soon as I got back to the house, I threw every single item of his out on the lawn. I called a twenty-four-hour locksmith and had all the locks changed, and I blocked Edward’s number on my phone.”

  “Seriously proud of you right now. Did he come get his stuff?”

  “I’m assuming. It was gone the next day.” Paige shrugs.

  “Have you spoken to him since?”

  “Nope. Not a word. I knew he wouldn’t try to talk about it. I mean, what is there to say? Obviously, I know he’s a cheating douche bag. I would never take him back even if he promised me the world. He knows that. Not to say that he even wanted me back. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m better off without him.”

  “Yeah, you are!”

  I raise my hand, and Paige gives me a high five.

  “So, nope, no pity parties. Instead, we’re going to get tipsy tonight and dance our butts off. After the reception, you’re going to have some hot lovemaking with your hubby, and I’m going to find the finest single man I can and rock his world. There are going to be some hot guys here today, right?” Paige looks to me with a slight panic in her eyes. “These chairs aren’t just for great aunts and uncles and grandparents…are they?”

  “Yeah,” I sigh with a frown. “The average age of the guests is seventy-two.”

  “Really?” she whines, dropping her shoulders, disappointment lining her features.

  “No.” I playfully tap her arm. “Most of these chairs are going to be filled by Dixon’s military buddies.”

  “Hot military men?” Paige raises her fists in the air and pulls her elbows back against her waist in the classic celebratory move. “Yes!”

  I’m grinning from ear to ear. “Plus, I hear Dixon’s brother is single, and if he looks anything like Dixon…”

  “Yum-my!” Paige chimes in.

  “Exactly!” I agree with a chuckle.

  The air surrounding us turns serious as Paige wraps an arm around my back and leans her head against my shoulder. “I’ve missed you.”

  “Me, too,” I say, resting the side of my head atop hers.

  “Long-distance BFF status is rough. But you know what they say about that.”

  I let out a chuckle. “What do they say, Paige?”

  “You know, that expression that being apart makes your heart grow to love that someone even more.”

  “Yes, absence does make the heart grow fonder,” I agree.

  “Yeah, that one. It makes all the times that we do have together special.” She gives me a side squeeze before sitting upright. “And, tonight, we’re going to party like nineteen-year-old sorority girls.”

  “Exactly!” I concur. “Except one of those girls is going to party with water, like she might be pregnant,” I throw in.

  Paige freezes before she bolts out of her chair and faces me. “Shut the front door! You’re pregnant?” she squeals.

  “Maybe. Hopefully. Probably,” I say in rapid succession, my heartbeat quickening in elation.

  “Oh my goodness! I need the details!”

  I tell Paige every detail about the conversation with Loïc in Savannah and the hours of unprotected lovemaking that ensued.

  “Have you taken a test?” she asks.

  “No,” I say. “I want to wait until I am late, you know? I don’t want to risk the disappointment of a negative test when it might be too early to tell.”

  “Good plan. So, when are you supposed to start your period?”

  “Yesterday.” A wide grin overtakes my face as I stand from the chair.

  Paige takes my hands in hers, and the two of us bounce up and down.

  “This is crazy! You’re totally pregnant. Let’s go get a test!”

  “I’ll take one tomorrow before you leave,” I offer. “I don’t want to take the attention away from Sarah on her big day.”

  Paige swipes her hand through the air. “She won’t mind.”

  I shrug. “Maybe not, but she deserves this day to be all about her. You know?”

  “Okay, fine. Then, I’ll get tipsy tonight, and you can be my sober wingwoman. Then, tomorrow morning, we’re going to the drugstore and getting a pregnancy test for you.”

  “Sounds like a plan!”

  Paige and I start walking toward the house.

  “Let’s see if anyone needs help with anything before we put on our dresses,” I say.

  Paige nods her head in agreement. “So, have you seen any of these military hotties in person? How hot are we talking?”

  I shake my head in laughter.

  From the front row, I gaze dreamily up at the altar of flowers and the people standing before it. Every second of the ceremony has been absolutely perfect so far, and I’m delighted for Sarah, Dixon, and little Evan. And selfishly for me because of Loïc. I know that Sarah’s happiness means so much to my husband, and I’m relieved it isn’t another thing that Loïc has to continue to worry about. He can rest easy, knowing his sister—for all intents and purposes—is truly happy.

  Sarah is so beautiful. She’s wearing a simple, flowy ivory dress that swoops down in the back, bringing together the ideal touch of sexiness and modesty. Her long strawberry-blonde hair hangs in ringlets against her lightly tan skin. Little white flowers form a tiara atop her head, and she looks like a bohemian Cinderella. But what makes her the most stunning is the genuine joy radiating from her.

  Loïc stands beside Sarah as her best man. His hand is placed on Evan’s shoulder as Evan plays with the plastic rings on his satin ring bearer pillow. For a little dude, a couple of months shy of three, he’s doing so well. All the guys are wearing gray slacks and ivory button-up shirts. It’s simple and elegant, and it goes perfect
with the entire look of the wedding.

  Paige sits beside me, releasing a sigh. I pull my gaze from my handsome hubby to look at her. I have to stop myself from laughing when I take her in. She’s ogling Dixon’s brother, Ethan, like she’s literally going to consume him in a matter of seconds. Her rebound radar is hungry.

  I gently nudge her with my elbow. “Stop.” I giggle under my breath.

  “He’s the one,” she whispers wistfully before pressing her lips together in a line and pulling a long breath in through her nose.

  I stare up at the tall guy standing beside Dixon and have to agree with Paige that he’s quite attractive. The Dixon men definitely have some quality genes. Ethan is so similar to Dixon, yet at the same time, he’s completely different. They’re both clearly in shape, but where Dixon has larger defined muscles, Ethan’s physique is more long and lean—like that of a surfer. Dixon is cleanly shaved with a short, precise haircut, that of a typical soldier. Ethan has scruff on his face, like he rolled out of bed this morning and forgot to shave. His hair is a couple of inches longer than Dixon’s and holds that sexy disheveled appearance.

  Yeah, he’s hot.

  We all rise from our seats as Sarah and Dixon finish their first kiss. They turn to face their guests as the pastor announces them as husband and wife. We all clap and cheer. I tilt my head in Loïc’s direction, he throws me a wink, and my smile grows wider.

  I love that man.

  Sarah and Dixon walk hand in hand back up the aisle. Loïc hikes Evan up onto his shoulders, and then Evan claps as they follow the happy couple, his little pillow and fake rings abandoned at the altar. Ethan is the last one in the wedding party to leave the altar, and I don’t miss him pause beside us and shoot Paige a look as he subtly bites his lip before turning with a smirk to follow the others.

  I whip around to face Paige. “What was that?” I laugh. “Did something happen before the ceremony that I missed?”

  Paige shrugs. “Nope. When you got it, you got it.”