“Now we’re talking about the future. That’s not allowed.” Luke sat up. He stroked his flat palm over her naked belly, his touch filled with reluctance. He stood, and reached for his jeans on the floor by the bed. “I’ve got to go.”
It seemed neither one of them was ready to talk about where their lives might be headed.
She donned a robe and followed him through the apartment to the kitchen door. The light over the stove cast a warm yellow glow. She’d given him a key to the main door—at his request—so she wouldn’t have to go up and down the stairs to let him in or lock up behind him. This was the third time he’d used it. Always, however, he texted her before he came over.
He was so thoughtful.
She told him one more secret. It was the closest she’d ever come to telling a man he was special. “I’ve never given anyone else a key to my home, before.”
He had one shoe on. He crammed his socks in his pocket. Black eyelashes shuttered his thoughts, although emotion was thick in his manner. “You aren’t getting it back.”
He kissed her goodbye and she closed the door. She listened for his footsteps descending the rickety stairs, then the muffled sound of his car engine starting on the far side of the quiet street.
She wasn’t ready to go back to bed. She got herself a glass of water, then, with one hand on the kitchen counter for balance, hummed a few bars of mambo and danced a few steps. How had he known what to do for her? What she’d like?
She knew so little about him.
What could she do for him in return?
*
She’d given him her key, which was now priceless to him, and begun to question what their relationship—or lack of one—was.
Meaning she hadn’t loved the pop star. The asshole. Thank God.
Because Luke couldn’t compete with fame and fortune.
A heart-to-heart about the future at three in the morning probably wouldn’t have netted the results either one of them sought, however.
The scent of hydrangea riddled the air, and as he stepped into the night, closing and locking the front door firmly behind him, he breathed it in deep. He turned his phone on once he was in the car. He’d gotten into the habit of shutting it down when he was with Mara. He had two brothers. They didn’t all need to be on call for the kids.
He found a new text.
“Enough Luke. You’ve had two months. We HAVE to talk.”
Luke sighed, rubbed the back of his neck, and started the car. Maybe they did. Denise was nothing if not persistent. She’d made up her mind and she wouldn’t give up. He’d once found that single-minded focus attractive.
So many things in his life had changed. No matter what happened with the ranch, he wasn’t going back to Seattle. Montana was home.
He found Zack, fully dressed, in the kitchen, sitting at the table drinking a mug of hot chocolate. Yellow curtains fluttered over the sink. The windows were open wide in a futile attempt to cool off the inside of the house before the rising sun brought back its blistering heat. A series of loud chirps, peeps, and croaks announced the presence of a northern mockingbird somewhere outside in the night.
“What are you doing still up?” Luke asked.
Zack widened innocent eyes over the rim of his mug. “How come you’re just getting in?”
They were back to this game.
Luke drew up a chair across from Zack and rested clasped hands on the table. “Got a question for you.”
“Yes. You look ridiculous when you wear that stupid cowboy hat. This isn’t a dude ranch.”
“Duly noted.” He bounced his clasped fists up and down. He couldn’t believe he was about to ask his brother this question, but it wasn’t as if he could discuss it with Mara. “When you say to a woman, ‘If you walk out that door, we’re finished,’ what do you think she really hears?”
Zack set the mug down. “Is it the same woman who didn’t stick around for a memorial service for our parents?”
“Yes.”
Blue eyes narrowed. “Then I don’t give a damn what she heard. All that matters is whether or not you meant what you said.”
Luke had meant it. He didn’t like this sense of unfinished business hanging over him, however. It was affecting Mara now, too. On the surface she seemed to have everything together. Underneath, he wasn’t as sure.
“Thanks,” Luke said. “I’ll let Jake know too, but I’m going to Seattle for a few days. I’ve got to pack up my apartment and arrange to teach some online classes next year.”
“As long as you stick to your guns while you pack,” Zack said, sipping his cocoa. “She might be hard of hearing, in which case you’ll have to repeat yourself once or twice.”
Her hearing was fine. It was simply selective.
Luke booked a flight before going to bed.
Then, he sent Mara a text.
“I’ll be out of town for a few days on business. I’ll call when I get back.”
Chapter Ten
Seattle was green in the summer. Lush western hemlock, red cedar, and well-tended shrubs limned the parkways and streets.
It was the cold, dreary, sunless winters that began in late fall and didn’t let up until April or May that Luke truly disliked. He’d always been in a classroom or computer lab so he hadn’t realized how much he missed Montana’s crisp blue skies and sparkling mantles of snow.
He’d get to enjoy winter this year. He could teach Mac and Finn how to ski. They’d take Lydia sledding with them. The ranch had snowmobiles, too. In a year or so, Mac would be old enough for dirt biking—depending on whether or not old mother hen Jake stopped all the fussing.
And there would be Mara. He’d bring her out to the ranch. He’d teach her to drive a tractor and how to ride a horse. They’d play more virtual reality games together and she could teach him to dance. He’d help her see how much Grand had to offer. She was half in love with it now.
He cut the rental car into the crowded lot across from the Japanese Garden off Lake Washington Boulevard East and parked under a shady tree.
He strolled a stone path that wound around a quiet pond until he came to the bench where they’d agreed to meet. It was partially hidden by carefully-positioned greenery. Turned earth, blooming flowers, and red cedar intertwined scents.
The garden was a popular spot. He’d brought his laptop here many times on sunny days to get away from the four walls of his office. He’d asked Denise to meet him here because it was one of his favorite places to sit and relax. It always put him at ease.
It was also public, but gave an illusion of privacy, because this conversation wasn’t going to be easy. He planned to tell her about Mara, too. He’d already packed up his apartment and given his notice. He’d spoken to the college and arranged his online workload for the next year. He didn’t have to give them any definite decision until December, but he knew what his decision would be. Nothing came before family.
It wasn’t long before Denise approached. She walked briskly, not looking around, focused entirely on her objective. She’d tucked short, dark-blond hair, cut in a bob, behind her ears. Tall and slender, she was pretty. Beautiful, even.
But in a contained manner. There was no fire to her. When he looked in her eyes, which were a clear, almost gray shade of blue, he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. In the beginning, that had intrigued him. It lent an air of mystery to her.
There was no mystery, however. She was all about work—his as well as hers. College life had kept them together. The first test to take them into the real world, and life’s ugly realities, had torn them apart.
He’d never be able to forget how she hadn’t supported him. All the guilt that had niggled at the back of his mind disappeared. Even without Mara, they were through.
She sat beside him on the bench. “I heard you were on campus this morning. Why didn’t you come to my office, rather than make both of us drive all the way here?”
“I like it here,” Luke said.
“So do I. But it’s
hardly a practical place to hold a private conversation. At least in my office we could have closed the door.” Denise sighed, rubbing her knees in a gesture that signaled frustration. “The last time I tried to talk to you, you wouldn’t listen.”
What had she expected from him? They’d been in his parents’ home, disposing of their belongings, and he’d been trying to prepare rooms for three orphaned children. He’d been numb.
“I could say the same thing about you,” he said.
“I’m listening now. Go ahead.”
“I’ve met someone else.”
That wasn’t how he’d intended to start this conversation. The words simply escaped.
Shock flared in Denise’s eyes before it was carefully sucked in and contained. She struggled for a few moments, as if searching for the right response to a situation completely foreign to her.
He waited.
“I understand,” she finally said. “We can get past this.”
He hadn’t expected that. He supposed he should have. “There’s nothing to get past. I asked you to spend a year in Grand with me and my family, and instead, you walked out the door.”
“You’re a smart man. I wanted to give you time to come to your senses. It was too much of your brother to ask. We’d be giving up on two careers, not one. It simply didn’t make sense when Jake already had Zack there to help out. Why does it take three grown men to look after three children? Grand has childcare options, doesn’t it?”
Denise sounded truly bewildered. She had no concept of family. She was an only child to parents who’d had her late in life and they catered to her. Luke, too, had constantly given in whenever they had differing opinions—because they’d never had any differences he’d believed worth arguing about. Not until now.
He rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. He was as much to blame for their failed relationship as she was. He’d never fully understood how spoiled she was. He’d be wasting his breath to try and explain that neither he nor his brothers knew anything about traumatized children, or parenting in general, and that there was a family business to run. Not to mention, they had their own losses to deal with.
A black-haired toddler ran past, followed by an indulgent older man who was no doubt his grandfather. The toddler looked to be around Lydia’s age. Denise never spared him a glance.
“I’ve given the college my notice,” Luke said. “I won’t be coming back to Seattle.”
“You’re making a mistake.” Unshed tears glittered in Denise’s eyes. Anger spilled over instead, hot and bitter and thick. “I hope she’s worth it. Because that’s what this is really about.”
He’d handled this badly. He shouldn’t have started by bringing up Mara because this wasn’t about her at all. It wasn’t about her unwillingness to come to Grand with him, either. At the end of the day, it was about two people who’d been on the verge of making a terrible mistake. The marriage would never have lasted.
“No,” Luke said. “It’s not about Mara. You and I were done the day you left Grand, and you know it. I told you about her only because I want you to know I’ve moved on and I think you should, too.”
“I can’t move on,” Denise said. She started to cry, soundlessly, fat tears dripping from her lower lashes to slide down her cheeks. “I’m pregnant.”
*
Luke said he would call, but it had been almost two weeks.
Mara tried not to read too much into it, especially when his younger brother Zack brought Finn to his dance lesson on Saturday morning—and then the next Saturday, too. Luke also missed their date Tuesday night.
It wasn’t like him not to at least send her a text if he had to cancel. She’d thought about calling him, but that wasn’t how things worked between them.
Her track record for misjudging men remained intact. She should have known better than to fall for “There’s nothing casual about this.”
The studio was warm this morning. She wedged a piece of wood under the front door to prop it open and allow fresh air to flow through. She’d installed a water cooler for her students, but insisted the younger children each bring a full plastic sports bottle to class. They liked to play with the cooler, meaning they had to drink water first if they wanted to refill their bottles from it. Hydration kept their muscles from cramping.
The students began trickling in. Three of the girls sat on the floor in their leotards and tights, exchanging sandals for dance shoes. Shortly before class was to start, Finn darted into the studio ahead of his uncle. He wore the form-fitting T-shirt and bike shorts she’d recommended, as well as white ankle socks with his flats. One front tooth was missing. He was so sweet.
Finn looked how Zack McGregor must have as a child. Zack was another beautiful man, proof that the McGregors had won some sort of Irish gene pool lottery. Zack and Luke had similar features, although their coloring was different. Zack had red hair that bordered on brown and his eyes were blue, not green.
Zack didn’t have Luke’s dancer’s grace, however, and whereas Luke was quiet and oblivious to female attention, Zack soaked it up. Age was no barrier to him and his charms, either. He was a natural flirt. He knew the name of each little girl in Finn’s class, and spoke a kind word to each one, earning him the adoration of their mothers, too. Mara was glad Zack had sent Luke to the store for fennel, or she might have hooked up with the wrong McGregor.
Lydia straddled Zack’s hip with her thumb in her mouth. According to Luke she was now twenty-two months old. A definite observer, inclined to assess her surroundings and everyone in them before making any commitments, she was as cute as her brother. She owned the same long-lashed green eyes. Fluffy blond hair that couldn’t make up its mind as to what color it planned to be stood straight up on end.
Mara wished she could ask Zack where Luke was.
One of the mothers saved her the trouble. “What happened to Luke? He usually brings Finn to class.”
“Working in the fields and in the barn today,” Zack replied. “I drew the kids and the cooking. Mostly because nobody else would tackle the cooking.”
Which meant he was home and deliberately avoiding her. She felt so stupid. At least with Little Zee the accident had explained it.
This time she had nothing.
“Life is rough, Cinderella,” a mother named Cossette said. She lived on a ranch and knew all the ranchers, as well as their gossip. “I heard a rumor you take Lydia next door for diaper changes.”
“That’s not why I heard he goes next door,” the first mother mused, soliciting laughs. When it subsided, “Are you and Lydia joining us for coffee this morning, Zack?” she asked.
“Why? So you can quiz us about Posey Davies?” He consulted his niece. “Do we look crazy, Lyds?”
“So Mara doesn’t have another McGregor looking for private dance lessons after hours,” Cossette said.
Heat crawled beneath Mara’s skin, from her neck to her face, where it burned hot enough to leave her light-headed. In her imagination, she heard Lou Bega’s mambo. Luke’s body was against hers, his arms holding her tight as they swayed to the music.
How had everyone in Grand found out about that?
“And because we want to get to know Lydia, too,” Felicity, another member of the dance morning coffee klatch, chimed in. She lifted the little girl out of Zack’s arms. “She looks just like Liz. Don’t you, sweetie?”
Lydia was now the center of attention and seemed uncertain as to how much she intended to tolerate. She examined Felicity with wide eyes, then apparently decided she liked what she saw, because she didn’t object to the exchange. Felicity, a doctor, really knew how to handle wee patients.
Mara came back to earth. The women were only joking with Zack—but the damage was done. He had to be well aware that Luke stayed out late on certain nights. The way his gaze lingered on her guilty face, and the dawning light in his eyes, said he now knew with whom.
“Okay, everyone,” she called out to the children, clapping her hands to cut through the noise
and attract their attention. It was also the adults’ signal to leave because class was about to begin. “Let’s start our warm-ups.”
She was too busy for the next hour to think too much about either of the McGregor brothers. By the time class was over, she’d decided she was overreacting. Luke went away on business. He came home. Work at the ranch, plus caring for three children, had overwhelmed him.
Maybe he’d decided casual worked best for him, after all. If so, she couldn’t expect him to always be as considerate as he had been to now.
The last little girls waved goodbye as they followed their mothers outside, leaving Mara facing Luke’s brother, who’d lingered behind. Lydia was confident enough with her surroundings that she stood on her own at his side, although she clung tightly to one of his fingers.
“Can I speak to you for a moment?” Zack asked Mara.
He sounded so serious. Her heart skipped a beat. Bad news was coming. Had something happened to Luke? Was that why he hadn’t called?
“Of course.” She had no idea what Luke might have told him about her. Or if he’d said anything at all. She couldn’t decide which she’d prefer. She forced a smile to her lips and played dumb. “Your nephew is very talented, as I’m sure you’re already aware.”
Zack gently pried his finger free of Lydia’s grip. “Go play with Finn,” he said to her.
The little girl waddled off to join her brother, who was practicing third position in front of the barre. Her diaper-clad bottom bobbed up and down as she aped his movements. Watching them together was too cute for words.
Sharp blue eyes scanned Mara from head to toe. Then, Zack cut to the chase. “Do you have any idea why Luke’s been in a funk ever since he got back from Seattle?”
She heard one thing. “Luke went to Seattle?” She tried to make sense out of that. He’d told her he was going out of town on business. But if it was business, why hadn’t he simply said where he was going?
“You didn’t know?” A hint of doubt softened the hard edge of Zack’s accusing tone.
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