Scrambling (Out in the NFL Book 1)

by Lex Valentine

  Darcy stared at them with a grim expression. “I know this is difficult for you both, but we have to stay on top of the situation if the two of you are going to survive in the NFL. Up until now, you’ve had it pretty easy with the press because of the way my staff has structured things. This situation with Lennox could change all that,” she told them. “Stay calm and stay in contact. Erik Otero from my office will meet you at UCLA Medical Center. He’ll make sure that any press hanging around don’t get to you. Just do what he says and keep me informed.”

  Reed nodded numbly and let Evan steer him toward the door. His sleep was restless, peppered with dreams of kissing Evan and being chased by a zombified Len. By the time their room service breakfast arrived, sent as a wake-up call by the coaching staff to the entire team, Reed had already dressed for the ride to Levi’s Stadium.

  The day seemed to drag at first as they picked at their breakfast and packed to leave. But once they boarded the bus with the rest of the team, all thoughts of Len left Reed’s head. His infatuation with Evan dissipated as well in the rush of game preparation. Focused solely on the game, Reed walked onto the field confidently, and he played brilliantly. By the time the first quarter ended and he and Evan headed to the locker room, escorted by one of Darcy’s assistants, the team was ahead seven to three.

  The ride to the airport and the flight itself were a blur. The limo picked them up at LAX and took them straight to UCLA Medical Center. Erik Otero had already managed to clear the hospital of press, but he escorted them to a waiting area and then stood off to the side.

  Dr. Kovacs greeted them but again didn’t pull any punches. “Len’s very bad. Worse than when I called you yesterday. Dr. Yamagata isn’t sure they can stabilize him enough for surgery. They’re trying something different right now, and Len’s responding, but that might not last,” he warned Reed. “It’s going to be several hours before we know whether or not he can be operated on. I suggest you go home and get some rest. I’ll call you when they have him ready for surgery. You should come back then.”

  “Can I see him?” Reed asked, feeling a little overwhelmed by how bad things had gotten so quickly.

  Dr. Kovacs shook his head. “He’s not conscious, and it’s better that you don’t see them working on him. I’ll call you if anything changes.”

  Nodding, Reed turned away. Briefly, for a moment, he felt the touch of Evan’s hand at the small of his back, that warm, possessive, comforting touch he craved as much as he craved football, if not more. Although he had to have seen Evan’s gesture, Erik Otero didn’t show it. He escorted them to the waiting limo.

  “I’ve told the driver to take you to Bryce’s condo. There’s a few tabloid scum hanging around Len’s house,” Erik said quietly. “You should be okay at Bryce’s. Get some rest and call me when you need to come back here. I’ll make sure the coast is clear.”

  When the car pulled away from the curb, Reed began to shake. He’d been preparing himself for Len’s death but not in any way that seemed to matter, because now he sat with the inevitable staring him in the face, and he felt chilled to the bone. Mind blank, heart heavy, he wondered what the hell he’d do when it happened. It might not be tomorrow. The surgery might repair the internal bleeding and prolong Len’s life, but for how long?

  A warm hand clasped his where it lay on the cool leather of the seat. “You’ll get through this,” Evan murmured. “I’m here for you, and so are Darcy and Coach Dreyfus. It will be okay.”

  The feel of Evan’s hand, his fingers laced with Reed’s, palms rubbing together, broke Reed’s control. With a strangled sob, he threw himself against Evan, clutching him tightly, knowing only that Evan would make everything better.

  “I need you, Evan. I need to not feel numb. I need to get past the pain and the loss and the confusion,” he whispered, his voice shaking. “I need you.”

  Evan rocked him against his big body, his touch gentle and soothing. “Whatever you need, Reed. I’m right here. I’ll always give you whatever you need.”

  A single thought sprang to life in Reed’s brain. He focused on it, determined to speak his needs and desires aloud for the first time. Pulling back from Evan’s warmth, his gaze met the solemn blue stare of his best friend. And then he spoke from his heart.

  “You, Evan. I want you.”

  Reed held his breath and watched the play of emotion across Evan’s face. He probably shouldn’t have been so blatant about what he needed, but he couldn’t stop himself. All he could think about was that Len lay dying and it could so easily have been him had he ever given in to Len’s whining about his use of condoms. Right now, he needed Evan to make him feel alive, to chase away the specter of death and disease. He needed to feel whole, and only Evan could give that to him.

  “You’re overwrought. You don’t know what you’re asking.”

  Evan’s voice quivered a little, and Reed could feel the tension in his friend’s body. He could also sense an underlying current of fear in Evan’s voice although he had no idea what Evan could fear.

  “Yes, I do. I want you to make love to me.”

  There. He’d said it aloud. All his hopes and dreams since he was fifteen years old, laid out for Evan in words of one syllable. No mistaking them for anything except what they were, a blatant invitation for Evan to fuck him. He opened his mouth and made the invitation even more clear, the words driven by the emotion he’d held so long inside.

  “I want you. I need to feel you touch me, taste me. I need to be with you. I want your arms around me, your cock inside me. I need to be with someone who cares about me. For sixteen years, it’s been you and me. Even Len and Bryce haven’t come between us. It’s always been you and me.”

  Reed poked Evan’s chest with a finger when he said you and his own when he said me. Evan blinked and shook his head as if he were dazed. “I-I don’t understand. Where is this coming from?” he asked with a frown.

  “It’s coming from deep inside me, Ev. Whenever something is wrong, you’re there for me and vice versa, although God knows it’s usually me with problems not you,” he said with a tinge of bitterness at the life destiny had given him. “This time, I need more than just hand-holding. Will you give it to me?”

  He stared at the man he’d loved since they were kids. The man he’d shared everything with. The one he couldn’t imagine his life without. And he willed Evan to say yes.

  A long, soft breath escaped Evan, tension leaving his big body. “Yes. You know I love you. I could never say no to anything you ever asked of me.”

  Reed pushed himself against Evan’s chest, his hands coming up to frame the handsome, beloved face of his best friend. “Then just love me. Death is cold. I need to be warm.” He pressed his mouth to Evan’s, and a pleasure like none he’d ever experienced exploded inside him.

  Evan’s lips were soft and warm, gentle in a way Reed hadn’t known men could be. He took control of the kiss, took control of Reed, his hands and his mouth leading Reed to ecstasy. Their tongues slid together, tentative in the way of new lovers but without urgency or fear, just a growing awareness and heat. Evan’s hands slipped over Reed’s shoulders and down his back, causing a slow burn in Reed’s veins.

  The limo turned a corner, and they rocked, swaying with the movement of the car. Reed pulled his mouth from Evan’s, and they stared at each other, breathing hard.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want,” he asked as pain threatened. He needed Evan, but he could walk away if Evan didn’t want him.

  The big man pushed a trembling hand through his sandy hair. “I want it,” he replied, reaching for Reed’s hand. He pulled it toward him and pressed it into his lap.

  Beneath his fingers, Reed could feel the hard ridge of Evan’s erection, and his heart sang in triumph. The evidence of Evan’s desire was enough for him tonight. He didn’t need to own Evan’s heart although he yearned to.

  They sat in anticipatory silence the rest of the way, their hands clasped together
. When the limo pulled up at Bryce’s condo and they got out, Reed whispered, “Bryce?”

  “We are not exclusive. He’s not my boyfriend.” Evan grunted as he stood upright.

  The limo driver handed them their bags, and Evan led the way inside. Reed didn’t pay any attention to the place. His focus was on Evan. However, when Evan led the way upstairs to a bedroom, he paused in the doorway, jealousy eating at him.

  Evan glanced over his shoulder, a puzzled frown on his face. Then his expression cleared. “This isn’t Bryce’s room. He never comes in here,” he explained softly.

  On a wave of relief, Reed stepped into the room. Evan pushed the door shut behind them. The floor-to-ceiling windows faced the beach, and Evan pulled the blinds open, explaining, “The windows are tinted. No one can see in. Even if the press could get up here, they couldn’t see us.”

  The king-size bed across from the windows was draped in blue and beige with touches of deep red. The oak bed frame had thick carved posts that reached as high as Reed’s head. He stared at the bed, thinking it didn’t seem at all like something the sophisticated Bryce would buy. Evan placed their bags near the closet door and turned on the light in the bathroom.

  “Would you like a shower?” he asked quietly, his blue eyes cautious.

  “Yeah. That would be great.” Reed felt himself relax despite the fact that what they were about to do was fraught with issues. He glanced at the bed once more.

  “It’s all my stuff. Bryce told me to do what I wanted in here, so I did.”

  Evan’s even tones answered the questions bouncing around in Reed’s head. He bit back a sigh. Evan seemed to be reading his mind, but he didn’t care. They’d known each other so long, Evan could put a knife to Reed’s throat and he wouldn’t twitch. He glanced into the bathroom and noted the tiled shower stall. Not big enough for two football players. This time the sigh escaped him, tinged heavily with disappointment.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Reed’s lips quirked a little. “The shower’s kinda small. I was hoping it would accommodate two.”

  Evan smiled faintly. “If I ever build my own place, the shower will be big enough for two big men to play in.”

  “Good.” Reed went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He stripped off his clothes and stood beneath the water, letting it soothe away the remnants of his anxiety.

  When he emerged from the shower with a towel around his waist, Evan had turned the covers back and lit a low lamp that cast a golden glow over the bed. He’d stripped off everything but his jeans, and his skin gleamed in the light. He looked up and smiled.

  “My turn,” he murmured and after giving Reed a once-over that held growing heat, he disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the door open.

  Reed went to stand at the window, staring out at the wash of the ocean onto the sand. Far out toward the dark horizon a few lights gleamed, and he idly wondered what kind of vessels they were, pleasure craft or fishing boats. He and Evan seemed to be like those isolated lights in the ocean. The two of them in a cocoon of darkness, the rest of the world forgotten, set aside so that they could focus solely on each other.

  He shivered a little. For so many years, he’d hidden from the reality of his heart. Tonight, he’d give it free rein. He needed to hold back all the bad things that his life had been hurtling toward from the moment he’d let Len seduce him at eighteen. He loved Evan with every cell in his body, and he’d fucked up everything by becoming involved with Len. If he hadn’t done that, maybe he’d have stood a chance with Evan when they’d come out to each other in college. He should have known there’d be a price to pay for lying to himself and everyone else for so long. Now, if Len died, he could lose his career. If he wasn’t careful, he could lose Evan, and that would be worse than anything else in the world.

  Cool hands touched his shoulders, and a mouth softly nipped at the side of his throat. “You’re thinking too hard. Just come to bed and feel. Don’t think. Let go.”

  Reed drew a deep breath, and the lime and cedar scent of Evan filled his senses. His heart went from a trot to a gallop in the space of three seconds. He leaned back against Evan’s damp chest and discovered his best friend was naked. With a flick of Evan’s hands, Reed’s towel dropped, and he was naked too. He shuddered as a thick erection pressed the length of his buttocks, nestling into the crease and sliding along the sensitive area in a delicate dance of arousal. As much as he loved the feel of Evan’s cock in his ass crack, he wanted more than just a little humping, and he really needed to see Evan’s face. Nothing mattered more to him than being able to see the face of his lover and know it was Evan.

  “I want you to fuck me.”

  The words left his mouth unbidden, and he could feel the instant tension in Evan’s body.

  “I thought you were a top.”

  Evan’s murmured words sent a shiver of awareness through Reed’s body. He’d never let anyone fuck him. Len had never wanted to, being the consummate bottom. But there’d been times Len had wanted to invite others into their bed, men who wanted to fuck Reed. Len had been all for watching that, but Reed had never agreed. He had no urge to let any man breach his entrance…any man but Evan. Ever since he’d first begun fantasizing about Evan as a teenager, those dreams had revolved around Evan fucking him. He’d never had the urge to let any other man do such a thing to him. He wanted to explain that to Evan, but since he feared spoiling the moment by mentioning Len, he kept it to himself.

  “Maybe I am with other men. But with you, I want you inside me,” he admitted candidly but cautiously.

  Evan let out a strangled sound. “Have you ever…?”

  Reed reached behind him and took hold of Evan’s hands, placing them on his chest. “No. Have you?”

  He could hear Evan’s harsh breathing, but he had no idea why the big man was so silent. He turned in Evan’s arms and looked up at him. Desire tinged with regret colored the expression in Evan’s blue eyes.

  “Yes. I have. I—” He broke off and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, Reed saw resignation there. “It could have been better. I wasn’t as prepared mentally as I could have been. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good, and for a long time I just didn’t want to do that to anyone or have it done to me.”

  “Are you afraid to make love to me?” Reed asked, holding Evan’s gaze steadily.

  A sheen of tears made Evan’s eyes gleam. “I don’t want you to hate it or me. I don’t want to hurt you or do it wrong,” he whispered.

  Reed wrapped his arms around Evan. “You won’t. I believe in you. You’d never let what happened to you, happen to me. I know you will make it good for both of us.”

  Resolution tightened the planes of Evan’s handsome face. “Then you do it to me first.” When Reed blinked in surprise, shocked that he would say such a thing, Evan’s mouth quirked in a smile. “We have all night. Me first. Then you.”

  Reed couldn’t speak. Only in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined he would have the chance to fuck Evan McAdam. He stared up at Evan, unable to wrap his head around the change in circumstances.

  “What’s the matter? Don’t you want to?” Evan’s smile wavered just a little bit. “You can’t tell me you haven’t done that.”

  Shaking his head, Reed said, “No. That’s not it. It’s just…since Len got sick…” He trailed off unable to say anything more. With his former partner dying of AIDS, even with a clean bill of health, most men wouldn’t trust him to fuck them even with a condom.

  Evan’s eyes widened as comprehension dawned. “I trust you. I’m not afraid. I want you.”

  And just like that, everything fell into place. Reed pulled Evan’s head down, and their mouths fused in a kiss that quickly heated from lukewarm to nuclear. When they tumbled to the bed, Reed reveled in the long, hard body beneath him. He’d never been with anyone but Len, a man who defined the word twink. Being with Evan made him feel like a hungry kid turned loose in a bakery.

  At six feet six, Evan h
ad what seemed like miles of rock-hard muscles to touch. Reed had always dreamed of being with him, had fantasized about what it would be like to touch such a big masculine body, but now that the moment had arrived, he didn’t know what to do first.

  He wriggled against Evan, who spread his legs. As he shifted to lie between Evan’s thighs, Reed felt it: the first electric sensation as his straining cock touched Evan’s. His breath left his lungs in a whoosh, and his gaze met Evan’s. Beneath him, Evan’s body undulated and their cocks rubbed together, the friction hot and amazing.

  “I…you…” Reed snapped his mouth shut, unable to articulate in words just how good everything felt.

  “You like that?” Evan murmured. One eyebrow quirked up inquiringly.

  Reed nodded. With a smile, Evan wrapped his arms around Reed and canted his hips up. The scorching glide of sensitive flesh to sensitive flesh had them both panting and groaning within moments. Reed’s eyes closed on a wave of pleasure greater than any he’d ever experienced. He arched above Evan and braced on arms that trembled slightly from nerves. Evan’s palms stroked up Reed’s flanks, stopping to cup his buttocks. Reed moaned.

  Thick fingers lightly traced his crease, dipping inward to tease his pucker. He shivered, arching more fully against Evan, their cocks slotted easily against each other. Reed bent and licked the hard tip of Evan’s nipple, his reward a moan that rumbled up from deep within Evan’s chest. His gaze met his best friend’s. Evan’s blue eyes held a swirl of emotions, and for an instant, Reed’s heart shattered with pain, wishing he could tell Evan how much he loved him.

  Driven by his agony, Reed leaned down and fiercely took Evan’s mouth. The sharp, sweet taste of his best friend on his lips and tongue made Reed shake. The rasp of their beards, the wet slide of their cocks, and the heat between their writhing bodies all combined to push them both toward the edge.