by L. S. Pullen
Not sure my arse will fit, but unable to refuse, I get on my hands and knees and join her. It goes further back, and to my relief, I do manage to fit.
Her toys are laid out in some kind of organised chaos, and she talks a mile a minute. Honestly, I struggle to keep up with her but laugh along with her when she finds something she’s said funny.
“Do you want to colour?” she asks, pushing her colouring book towards me.
“Maybe later, I should go and drink my tea with your mum,” I say.
“Okay,” she replies, smiling, and pulls it into her lap and starts colouring herself. Boy, does she have a steady hand, keeping it between the lines—she’s her mother’s daughter all right.
I crawl out and find Rachel back in the kitchen.
“Thanks for that. She was so excited when Olly helped her with it this morning.”
“It is pretty cool,” I say, taking my tea from her. “Thank you.” I take a small sip.
She sits at the breakfast bar, and I join her.
“So, what’s going on with Meg?” I ask, desperate to know.
Placing her tea down, she looks back at me. “Meg got hold of some drugs that belonged to Emilio, and it turns out he’s been threatening her.”
My eyes go wide. “Oh my God, on top of losing her best friend,” I say, knowing first-hand how devastating that can be. I put my cup down and wrap my fingers around it.
“She was on the phone to me when she said his name, and then the call got disconnected. When I couldn’t call her back, I immediately rang Olly. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Shit, no wonder Ethan was so pissed at me when I said she could take care of herself. I feel like a right bitch.”
Rachel reaches over and touches my arm.
“Oh, sweetie, I know enough bitches, and believe me, you are far from one.”
“Try telling that to Ethan. He’s never acted like that towards me before. He was hard, cold. I mean, I know she’s his friend, but still.”
She furrows her brows. “Shit, you don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?”
Her hand squeezes my arm. “God, Lottie, I thought you knew Meg isn’t just his friend. She’s his ex.”
If there were an explosion right now, I swear to God I wouldn’t even feel it. I shake my head, trying to digest her words. Meg is his ex. What the actual fuck?
“Lottie,” Rachel says, her face concerned. “I honestly thought you knew. Shit, maybe it wasn’t my place to tell you.”
I shake my head and let out a deep breath. “No, it’s fine. I mean, he should have told me… Fucking hell, I feel like an idiot. I knew he was trying to get over someone. Fuck, I saw the way he was with her at the fight. In my gut, I knew something wasn’t right. I never usually get jealous, but the way he touched her so carefree should have been clue enough. Maybe it’s why I held back about admitting I wanted to be with him, without all the secrecy.”
Bringing my hands to my face, I let out a groan. How could I have been so stupid?
“You’re not stupid,” Rachel says, pulling my hands away and holding them in hers. I wasn’t even aware I spoke that out loud.
“I saw the way he looked at you when we were at the fight, Lottie. He’s smitten.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek.
“Then why did he never tell me about her and him. I told him about Max… Hell, I even opened up to him about my kidney transplant, and yet he couldn’t tell me this one thing.”
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“This isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I trusted him.”
Her phone vibrates, followed by a shrill ringtone, and she rushes to answer it.
“Olly,” she breathes, her eyes going to mine. “Hospital… What… Oh my God, is she okay? Are you okay?”
I sit forward but can’t hear what he’s saying on the other end of the line, and my heart is pounding in my chest.
“Oh shit… yeah, of course… love you, too. Let me know when you’re on your way home.”
She hangs up and brings her palm to her chest, and I’m pretty sure her heart is probably racing ten to the dozen too.
“What is it? What happened? Is Olly okay?” I ask, shifting in my seat.
She sits back down, her hands shaking slightly as she lets out a breathy sigh. “He’s fine, but Meg and Henry are on their way to the hospital. He said Emilio attacked them.”
I let out a gasp and cover my mouth. “Oh my God, how bad is it? Do you know if Ethan’s okay?”
My mind is reeling. I was so quick to dismiss Ethan’s worry over Meg, and now this has happened.
She grabs my hand. “Olly would have said if he wasn’t.”
And before I can stop them, I’m flooded with an onslaught of emotions and I’m crying.
“Oh fuck,” Rachel says and rubs my back.
“Sorry,” I say, my mind all over the place.
“Don’t apologise. It’s bound to be a bit overwhelming. Besides, it probably didn’t help with me dropping that bombshell as I did.”
But this isn’t her fault. Ethan could have told me. Granted, we started with off the charts sexual chemistry, but I thought we were friends. Fuck, I believed we were more, but now I don’t know what to believe. Was I just a distraction? I keep thinking back to the way he looked at her the other night and the way he touched her with such familiarity, but now I know it was something more akin to love—the revelation is too painful to process.
Chapter Thirty-One
Ethan
I’ve only been petrified one other time in my life, and that was when I woke up on a ventilator attached to machines. The second time was today. Never have I seen that much blood, not in real life. You see it in films and TV shows all the time, but that was horrendous. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the smell, let alone the image of Meg as she slipped unconscious.
Waiting is the worst part, not knowing what’s happening, unable to stay still. When I sit down, I can’t keep my legs from bouncing relentlessly. Meg’s dad arrived soon after Olly, Nathan, and I got here.
Henry had to have stitches, and he’s been sitting there with his head in his hands since he came to join us in the waiting room. He’s so fucking still it’s uncanny, but I know inside he’s even more of a nervous wreck than I am.
I touch his shoulder, and his eyes raise to mine.
“She’s going to be okay, man. You know how strong she is.”
He nods, but his lip quivers. If he loses it now, I’ll likely follow right alongside him. I have never seen him look so desolate and bereft. Fuck me. I wish there was something more I could do other than offering words of comfort.
When a doctor approaches, we all lurch to our feet, and he immediately takes a step back. I can imagine it would be quite intimidating. We’re not small guys by any feat, and right now, we are on high alert.
“Okay, so the good news is she’s going to be fine. She was extremely lucky. She’s asleep, and to be honest, we doubt she’ll wake until tomorrow.”
I think we all let out a collective sigh of relief, but I’m still processing his words. She’s fine. She was extremely lucky.
“Can we stay with her?” Henry asks.
The doctor scans all of us, and I feel a ‘no’ is about to leave his lips, but Meg’s dad, Ian, quickly interjects.
“Just myself and her boyfriend,” he says, his hand moving to Henry’s shoulder.
The doctor looks at them both but shakes his head. “Only one,” he says.
Reluctantly, Henry agrees to leave so Meg’s dad can stay. Ian promises to call as soon as she wakes up.
None of us says anything as Nathan drives us all back to the gym to get our cars. I know Henry’s still reeling. Until Meg is awake and he sees for himself that she’s okay, he won’t be able to rest––and neither will I.
I walk him to his car and pull him in for a hug. Neither of us is quick to let go. Today could have been so much worse, and fuck me if it didn’t age me ten years
.
“I don’t know what I would’ve done without you today, E.”
Drawing back, I look him square in the eyes.
“She’s family,” I say. “Do you mind if I come stay at yours tonight?” I ask. It might sound stupid, but I need to know he’s all right, and he’ll be the first to know once Meg is awake.
“Of course, you don’t even have to ask, but I warn you, Jacob might keep you up. He’s still trying to get settled.”
The poor little guy still doesn’t understand where his mum has gone and why he’s living with Henry now. It’s an adjustment for everyone.
“You sure you’re all right to drive?”
He nods. “Yeah, I want to be able to go to the hospital when she wakes up.”
I glance down at my blood-soaked T-shirt and then back to him. “Okay, I’ll see you there. I want to go change first.”
He averts his eyes and climbs into his car, and I watch as he pulls away.
Olly comes up beside me. “You’ll let me know if he needs anything?” he asks.
“Yeah, of course, thanks, man,” I say, and he pulls me in for a quick hug.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to apologise to him about the way I spoke to Lottie, but if anyone deserves an apology, it’s her. I’ll get to that just as soon as I know Meg is awake and Henry is all right.
My mum is the one who opens the door when I get to Henry’s, and she pulls me into a vice-like grip. For a small woman, she’s bloody strong.
“E, stop knocking and use your damn key, will you?” Henry calls down from somewhere upstairs.
She pulls back and cups my face, and then her eyes roam up and down the length of my body.
“Mum, I’m fine,” I assure her.
The last thing she needs to worry about is me right now. Kissing my cheek, she drops her hands.
“Thank goodness,” she says and turns back toward the kitchen. “I made lasagne,” she calls over her shoulder. “Can you go let Henry know it’s almost ready…”
Dropping my overnight bag, I take the stairs two at a time—Henry’s standing in the doorway of what used to be my room and is now Jacob’s.
“Mum said food is almost ready,” I say when he hears me approaching and looks over his shoulder.
“I was going to shower,” he says. “I don’t think I can eat.”
“Yeah, good luck with that. Mum will force-feed you if she has to. Eat first, shower after,” I say.
He scoffs but continues staring at Jacob sleeping in his cot.
“I’m so fucking annoyed with myself for not doing more. Meg said there’d be retribution, and she was right.”
I grip his shoulder. “H, it’s not your fault.”
His eyes find mine, and I see the war within himself. He’s a protector by nature and seeing Meg like that––at the hands of Emilio––was fucking agonising.
We all eat even though it’s the furthest thing from our minds, and once Mum is satisfied we’ve had sustenance, she leaves us so we can sort ourselves out. Nathan turns in early, and I can’t blame him. I feel pretty fucking wiped too. Henry is just about to go up and take a shower when his phone rings. He paces into the kitchen and then comes back, a smile plastered across his face as he’s hanging up.
“She’s awake. Ian just rang, and she’s asking for me.”
I shove at his arm. “Go on, what the fuck are you waiting for?” I ask in disbelief.
“Can you look after Jacob?”
“Yeah, of course. Now go.”
He grabs his wallet and keys whilst shoving his bare feet into his trainers, and I pull open the front door.
“Will you let Olly and Nathan know?” he asks over his shoulder.
“Yes,” I reply to his retreating back as he jogs to his car, and I quietly close the door behind him. I knock on Nathan’s door to let him know before shooting Olly a quick message too.
Once the couch is made up, I lay down. It’s only then I send a very overdue text.
Me: I’m so fucking sorry about being short with you today, Lottie x
I’m watching some lame arse kids show, trying to keep Jacob entertained when Nathan comes downstairs. I run a hand through my dishevelled hair. I’ve only been up with him for a few hours, but it might as well have been an entire day. He’s already run rings around me. For someone so small, he sure has bags of energy.
Nathan smiles at my expression. “What time did he have you up?” he asks, stretching his arms over his head.
“About six. He made me watch a show with a bear on repeat before he thought it would be funny to pull his nappy off. Repeatedly.”
Nathan laughs as he walks towards us, Jacob lunging at him.
“Hey, little man,” Nathan says, holding his fist out for Jacob. “Spud me.”
My jaw drops when he brings his little fist up.
Nathan looks at me and smiles. “What? He’s the man,” he says with a shrug.
Jacob grabs one of his bears out of his toy box and holds it up to Nathan.
“You want a tea party?” he asks, and Jacob rushes over to the tiny kitchen nestled in the small alcove under the stairs.
Nathan pulls up one of the small wooden chairs and sits. I hold my breath, expecting it to fold out beneath him, but it doesn’t. He reaches over the tiny table for a teapot and starts pouring a pretend cup of tea. I sit there with my mouth hanging open. Just call him super nanny.
I left Jacob with Nathan and made my way to the hospital. When I arrived, I took one whiff of Henry, handed over his coffee, and sent him home to shower and change. Of course, he tried to argue with me, but then he stuck his nose in his armpit and finally relented.
Meg is still sleeping, and I sit looking at my last message to Lottie sitting on read. There’s a heavy weight in my stomach while I try typing out variations of other texts, but I keep deleting them. I feel eyes on me, and when I look up, Meg is awake.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” I ask, dropping my phone in my lap and sitting forward.
Her throat bobs up and down behind the bandage as she speaks. “Like I lost a fight with a knife.”
I know she’s trying to make light of it, but it still makes me sick to my stomach and always will. “Not funny,” I reply, shaking my head.
She looks a little contrite. “Sorry, where’s Henry?” she asks, her eyes darting to the door.
I wrinkle my nose. “I sent him home to change.”
Meg assesses my face with concern and reaches for my hand. “Hey, are you okay?”
I try to suppress my smile. She’s the one in hospital. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”
She does a classic eye roll and an exaggerated sigh. “Don’t deflect, Ethan.”
I groan because I’m not sure I want to go there. Stroking the back of her hand, I notice her ring. “Nice bling,” I say.
“You helped him choose it, didn’t you?”
Nothing is lost on her. “I did. I couldn’t have my best friend wearing anything mediocre, could I?”
Besides, when Henry asked for my help, I knew how hard that was for him, but it’s all part of moving forward.
Her eyes are troubled before she speaks again. “Ethan, you joke, but are you okay about Henry and me?”
Is she serious? It’s hard not to smile. “Yes, you’re right for each other, and this,” I say, pointing to her throat. “Only proves it. Because as scared as I was for you, I’ve never seen Henry so terrified. He’d be irrevocably broken without you.”
Her face takes on a stunned expression. “Wow, Ethan, have you been reading romance novels?”
I place my hand on my chest. “You wound me,” I reply playfully.
“Seriously though, Ethan, I’ll always care about you. You’re my family.”
Leaning forward, I cup her cheek and tuck her hair behind her ears. “I know, and I love you, my soon to be sister-in-law,” I say and wiggle my eyebrows. It’s getting way too serious, and I need her to not worry about me anymore, not like that anyway.
&n
bsp; She swats my chest. “Yeah, like that won’t be too weird, right?”
I shake my head. “No, not weird at all.”
If I was asked that a year ago––hell, even three months ago––I might have felt differently, but now I know there is a distinct difference between loving someone and being in love with them.
“So, you don’t think we’re moving too fast?” she asks, scanning my face.
“I think the question is, do you?”
She doesn’t even take a moment to consider my question when she shakes her head. “No, I don’t.”
“Then there’s your answer, and neither do I.”
Meg pulls my hand to her mouth and kisses the backs of my knuckles.
“I never did deserve you. But there is someone who does, and she better treat you right.”
Her comment makes it hard for me to swallow, and I clear my throat. The truth is, in regard to the person who comes to mind, I don’t think I do deserve her.
“Wait, are you blushing?”
I lean back in my chair and shake my head, but she’s pulling on my hand excitedly.
“Oh my God, Ethan. Have you met someone?”
How does she fucking do that?
“It’s complicated. I think I messed up.”
She gives me a stern look. “Then what the hell are you doing here?”
“Are you serious? You could have died, Meg.” The woman had her throat cut, for crying out loud, where else would I be?
“I’m fine. I’m okay, I promise. Now go and uncomplicate whatever you complicated.”
I smile. If only she knew. I lean over and give a chaste kiss to her forehead.
“Fine, but you tell Henry you wanted to rest if he gets here and finds me gone, or I might be in a room next to you.”
She swats my arm. “Ha-ha, very funny. Now go, and when I’m out of here, I want all the details.”
Yeah, no. I glance over my shoulder when I reach the door. “Maybe some things are best kept private,” I say, giving her a wink.
All I need to do now is try and get Lottie to accept my apology and hope I haven’t fucked everything up.