Forever Embers (Embers Series Book 3)

by L. S. Pullen

  Chapter Forty

  Charlotte

  It’s been a rough couple of weeks, but I’m starting to feel somewhat better, which is a good thing. Ethan has been patient with me, and honestly, I don’t think I deserve it when I’ve been so up and down.

  “Come on,” he says, walking over and holding his hand out to me.

  Untucking my feet from underneath me, he pulls me swiftly to my feet, kissing the tip of my nose and leading me to the hallway. Grabbing my coat off the hook, he holds it open for me.

  “Why do I need my coat?” I ask.

  “We’re going out,” he says, already slipping one arm through the sleeve followed by the other, and then he grabs my Ugg boots. Kneeling, he lifts my foot and helps me into them. I could tell him I’m capable of doing it myself, but I love this side to him that no one else sees.

  “I’m in my pj’s,” I say and glance at the clock hanging on the wall.

  It’s not late, but it’s not exactly early either. In pregnancy speak, it’s nine-thirty, and these days, I’m usually asleep by ten-thirty at the latest. But I have a sudden burst of adrenaline, wondering what he’s up to.

  “It’s cool. We’ll be in the car.” He slips a scarf around my neck and kisses my nose before he grabs his coat, slips it on and leads me to the passenger side. He opens the door for me, something which always gives me butterflies.

  Once we’re both buckled in, he pulls away, turning the heating up a little. Now that winter is closing in, there’s a sharp chill in the air, but I love the cosy nights indoors with a mug of hot chocolate.

  “Where are we going?” I ask, looking out the window as he turns on the main road.

  “What is one of your favourite things to do during winter?” he asks.

  I think for a moment and then smile.

  “Driving through the city and looking at all the Christmas lights and storefronts,” I reply.

  “Exactly.” He reaches over and squeezes my thigh as he drives.

  This time of night, it doesn’t take long before we reach Camden Town and then we’re in the city. Everything is so beautiful and picturesque about London, the lights and decorations all add to the atmosphere, and the only thing missing is snow.

  Glorious golden angels soar above Regent Street, glowing with garlands of lights, lining the length of the road. He opens his sunroof, allowing me to take pictures from below.

  We drive over Tower Bridge, where we can see the Tower of London, The Shard and HMS Belfast along the River Thames.

  I love how he lets me be excited and joins in when I see something I like and slows down enough for me to click a few pictures on my camera, and of course, I take a few selfies of us together.

  “Do you want me to grab drive-thru and then go home?”

  “I knew there was a reason I love you,” I reply.

  Tomorrow, we have our first scan, and I won’t lie, I’ve been becoming more nervous with each day, and I know this is his way of distracting me. I am pretty sure after stuffing my face with some fast food and a large milkshake, I’ll sleep like a baby.

  Once he’s satisfied I’m all set, he pulls back onto the road.

  “Apple pie and chocolate milkshake,” he says, grimacing and glancing just as I dip it into the shake.

  I just shrug. I don’t even know if this is a craving or me being greedy. It’s usually fries I like to dip, but this is as equally delicious.

  “Don’t knock it until you try it,” I reply, groaning as I bite into the crispy apple pie coated in the milkshake, the apple filling oozing out of the sides.

  “What? Are you sharing?” he asks in mock horror, and I swat his arm.

  “Oh, stop it, just because I ate a whole box of after-dinner mints.” Something I regretted within an hour, I might add.

  I dip the pie again carefully, so the filling doesn’t escape.

  “Open up,” I say, trying to lean over the centre console.

  “No, baby, I’m good. You enjoy it. That was for you,” he says. A look of relief crosses his face when I take the bite instead, and then I’m overcome with the giggles.

  “Are you okay?” he asks, coming to a stop at the traffic lights.

  “Yeah, but you should have seen your face. It was priceless.”

  Ethan

  Lottie has been on tenterhooks this past week, and I worry it’s not good for the baby. We have our first scan tomorrow, and I can’t fucking wait. I’ve been planning what comes after for a while now too, and the truth is, I don’t think I could have sat still tonight without giving myself away that something was up with me, and I didn’t want to add to her anxiety. So, I’m glad I drove us around the city, listening to her as she pointed out the lights, and knowing her mind was taken off the next day was well worth it.

  When she told me she was pregnant, I was floored––ecstatic but floored. I’d been prepared to give this woman my kidney, and that’s not changed. I do anything for her. I never knew another person could turn you inside out before I met her.

  Finally, in bed, I pull her to my chest. These moments are my favourite, when we lay in bed talking about anything and everything. She wanted to wait until the first scan before discussing baby names and getting the baby’s room ready, and I was okay with that. I know she’s scared.

  “You’re stuck with me. You know that, right?”

  She snuggles into me more; it amazes me how we fit together so perfectly.

  “I figured, you’re like sticky willy,” she says with a snort.

  Squeezing her hip, I kiss her on the back of her neck. “Sticky willy, what the hell?” I ask.

  “You know, sticky weeds,” she says, angling her head to try and look at me over her shoulder.

  “You’re calling me a weed?” I say, nipping her shoulder playfully.

  “Well, you said it,” she says, pushing her arse into my erection. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve had her, it will never be enough.

  “Carry on like that and I’ll be giving you a sticky willy, all right.”

  Her laugh vibrates through my chest and only adds to my pressing arousal. I sit up and roll her onto her back, causing a gasp to escape her as I cover her body with mine.

  “What are you waiting for?” she asks, her eyes full of desire.

  She spreads her legs, and it’s all the invitation I need as I align myself and get lost in oblivion.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Ethan

  She’s never been more beautiful than she is now, and the part that really hits home is that tomorrow, she will be even more so. I never gave much thought to starting a family, but then she came into my life when I least expected it, and I thank my lucky stars every damn day. Lottie will be mine forever. There is no doubt in my mind that we were destined to meet. I never believed in fate, not until her.

  She completes me in a way nothing and no one ever has before.

  Henry is my twin, and we share an unbreakable bond, but this is an entirely different kind of love. The irrevocable kind, and I want nothing more than to give this woman her every wish, her every desire. Whether it’s a whole box of chocolates or late-night drives through the city staring at the Christmas lights, I am all in. There is nowhere else I’d rather be.

  “I wanted to talk to you about something,” I say as we walk towards one of the benches at the top of Primrose Hill.

  I take a seat and she sits next to me, but she’s not close enough, so I pull her into my lap.

  “What are you doing?” She giggles, her nose red from the cold, her breath escaping in a soft white cloud of smoke.

  “Wanted you closer,” I say, adjusting her legs, so they’re over mine. It’s not like I have her straddling me or anything, not that I’d be impervious to that, but it is in the middle of the day and lots of people are out and about getting into the Christmas spirit, which I now know is one of Lottie’s favourite times of the year.

  “What did you want to talk about?” she asks, stuffing one of her gloved hands into my coat pocket.


  “Baby names.”

  Her smile beats the view below us, and I can’t stop myself as I lean in for a soft, tender kiss.

  When I pull back, her pupils are dilated, and I know exactly what she wants. I tweak her nose.

  “Later,” I say, raising an eyebrow, and she pouts.

  “So, if it’s a boy, I thought we could name him Max,” I say, and immediately I hear her intake of breath.

  “Max,” she repeats. Her bottom lip wobbles a fraction, and I know I caught her off guard. “Are you serious?” she asks.

  I reach for her cheek, and she leans into my gloved hand, and I hate how there is material between us.

  “Of course. I know he meant a lot to you, and I thought it would be a nice way to keep his memory alive.”

  “I love you,” she whispers, and I see her trying to hold back unshed tears.

  “And if we have a girl, I was thinking Holly.”

  She leans in and kisses me hard, and I kiss her back with the same amount of vigour.

  “If ever there was a person meant for me, it’s you. You know that, right?”

  I nod. Of course I do, because she’s my person too.

  “Do you like the name Holly?”

  Her soft lips pull into the biggest smile, and everything else fades away.

  “I do. I always said to Vi, if I had a girl, I’d call her Holly.”

  Now it’s my turn to look surprised.

  “Wow, and if it was a boy?”

  Her eyes shine brightly. “Oliver or Max,” she says, biting her bottom lip.

  I wiggle my eyebrows. “Are you saying we should go for the trifecta effect?”

  She laughs, and it rumbles straight to my dick, and I can’t help but harden.

  “We haven’t even had this one yet, and you’re already planning two more.”

  Kissing her forehead, I pull back. “Of course, I’m planning our forever.”

  We have our first scan coming up, and I’ve never been more excited and nervous about anything in my life. Not even professional fights come close. I always thought I was a bit of an adrenaline junky, always chasing that high, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I could get that and so much more from another person––my person.

  “I think that sounds like a plan,” she says, and I know how hard it is for her to let go of her worries and insecurities.

  “Come on, let’s go. I have a lunch reservation,” I say and move her off my lap, helping her to her feet.

  “You know, I won’t break. I kind of miss you throwing me down on the bed like a rag doll and fucking me senseless.”

  I groan, because she is my every fantasy come to life.

  “Oh, you do, do you?”

  “Abso-fucking-lutely, I do.”

  The urge to propose to her right here and now is overwhelming, but I already have it all planned out, and I don’t think she has any idea. I only just asked her to move in with me. There is no way my pregnant girlfriend and I are living apart, hell to the no.

  I want to go to sleep with her beside me and wake up with her hogging the covers and me cold. I can’t think of a better way to warm myself than when I wake her.

  Everything we do is so much more charged since she fell pregnant. She’s a live wire, and I can’t say I’m complaining. I have this insatiable need to satisfy her sexual urges in any way possible, and I plan on doing just that later tonight, once I get her back home.

  But first, lunch, and then our scan.

  “Do you want to know the sex?” I ask, taking her hand in mine as we walk back down the hill. The smell of winter hangs in the air.

  She chews on her lip as if trying to decide.

  “I don’t know. Did you want a gender reveal party?” she asks.

  “Gender reveal, I don’t know… do you?”

  She leans into me. “Honestly, I want whatever you want.”

  “Well, I want you to be happy. What would make you happy?”

  We move aside to let a little boy on a bicycle with stabilisers pass us by whilst the mother is laughing as she tries catching up to him.

  “Sorry, he’s a tearaway,” she says, passing us.

  Lottie and I both laugh.

  “I think I’d like a gender reveal, something for all our close family and friends to enjoy. And I know just the person who would love to organise it.”

  She doesn’t even need to say who. I already know she’s thinking of her best friend, Violet, and I couldn’t think of anyone better either.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Charlotte

  Never have I seen Ethan so excited as we get closer to the time of our scan. He’s talking a mile a minute, and I can’t even keep up with his conversation, and I’m pretty sure he can’t keep up with his chain of thoughts either.

  I take the can of coke from his hand and set it back down.

  “I think that’s enough caffeine for you.”

  His laugh rumbles through him and straight to my core.

  “Sorry,” he says, taking hold of my hand.

  It’s so surreal. A few months ago, I thought it was my kidney failing, and then to find out I’m pregnant… talk about shocked. I did not see this coming, but what surprised me the most was how well Ethan handled it. I might have expected him to run, but he didn’t. He stayed, and that meant more than he’ll ever know.

  Today we have our fourteen-week scan. This should give us an idea of the due date. And the best part is that I’m no longer feeling as lethargic or as fatigued as I was when I first found out––though it would appear I still need to pee a ridiculous amount.

  The sonographer calls us into the dimly lit room.

  “My name is Lydia. Are you both ready to meet your baby?” she asks, and I swallow down the lump forming in my throat. We’re about to see our baby for the first time.

  I nod, noticing Ethan doing the same from my peripheral vision.

  “Okay, Charlotte, if you could lie on your back and reveal your stomach.”

  Rolling my top up, my eyes seek out Ethan, who has taken the seat beside the bed. He takes my hand in his without me even needing to ask and leans down close to my ear.

  “Breathe, baby.” His lips graze my temple, his eyes searching mine. I inhale a deep breath and exhale; he mimics my action, and a calm settles over me.

  “This might feel a little cold,” Lydia says as she puts the ultrasound gel on my tummy.

  She pulls a probe hanging on the side of the machine and then passes it over my belly. I see something light up the screen, but it’s positioned facing Lydia, so it’s hard for me to see properly.

  “You might feel a little pressure,” she says as she moves the probe around.

  I bite my lip, apprehensive.

  “Oh,” she says, and my heart begins to beat faster. I squeeze Ethan’s hand a little too tightly.

  Lydia turns the screen a fraction, and I lean on my elbow to get a better view.

  “Meet your babies,” she says, a warm smile on her face.

  “Pardon?” I reply with a choking sound. “I think I just misheard you. Did you just say babies… as in plural, as in more than one?”

  She nods. “I did. You’re having twins. Do you know if they run in the family?” she asks.

  My eyes spring to Ethan, his mouth agape. He’s not even blinking.

  “Ethan,” I say, tugging on his hand.

  He shakes his head. “I’m a twin,” he says in a whisper.

  Lydia chuckles. “Well, I think that’s just a coincidence. Seeing as it’s Charlotte here who produces the eggs.” She continues to examine the screen. “They each have their own placenta, which means they may or may not be identical.”

  I have to remind myself to breathe. Twins, we’re having twins.

  She points out each baby, and then I hear the sound of their heartbeats. I cover my mouth with my hand, unable to suppress my emotions. They sound like the low thunder of horses galloping.

  Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.

  “W
ow. Are they meant to beat that fast?” I ask.

  “Yes, it’s perfectly normal. They beat twice as fast as yours.”

  Ethan leans over, capturing my lips with his. “You are amazing, do you know that?” he says, pulling back. “Twins, we’re having twins.” His eyes are shining.

  I nod, and he wipes away my tears. “You’re not mad?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “Of course I’m not. I am fucking over the moon,” he says.

  And Lydia chuckles again. “Do you want to know their sex?” she asks.

  We both shake our heads. “We want to do a gender reveal,” Ethan says. “Is there any way you can maybe put it in an envelope for us?” he asks.

  She nods. “Of course.”

  I’m still left in a state of bewilderment.

  “Can we get some pictures?” Ethan asks, and I’m grateful his brain is still functioning right now.

  “Of course,” she replies. “It’s all included in the price.”

  Ethan insisted we went private for the scan, and I wasn’t about to argue.

  When we leave, I feel like I’m floating. I take a deep breath and reach out for Ethan’s shoulder. He coaxes me gently towards a bench and sits me down.

  “Are you okay?” he asks in concern, cupping my face.

  “We’re having twins. I know you didn’t sign up for this,” I say, waving my hand between the two of us and fighting the panic as it begins rising.

  “Hey, hey, calm down, it’s all right.”

  “I just… two babies,” I say on an exhale, a puff of cold air leaving my lips.

  He smiles wide, and I swear the look on his face right now would be the death of me. If happiness could be bottled, we’d make millions.

  “Baby, you’re it for me… fuck it,” he says and wipes a palm over his face before releasing a plume of breath into the cold, frigid air. “I was going to wait until tonight when I got you home to do this but fuck it. Charlotte, you are everything I never knew I wanted. I need you in a way I can’t put into words. You own me completely. I know we’ve not been together long, and it was rocky there for a bit, but I want forever with you. Lottie, will you please do me the donor, fuck, I mean the honour of being my wife…”