I Wanna Be Where You Are

by Kristina Forest

  “Are you guys all right?” she asks. Her voice is so soft, I have to lean forward to hear her. Her eyes shift from my face to the throwup on my leotard, and I reach for the napkins in my glove compartment in a hurried attempt to clean myself up. I hand some napkins to Eli so he can wipe off his arm.

  “We’re okay,” I say. Although my shaky voice would indicate otherwise.

  “You might want to get out and look at the damage,” she says. “We’ll have to call the police and report this.”

  My stomach sinks way down into my feet, out of my shoes, and goes running down the highway. The police?

  Eli groans and mumbles something under his breath. The woman glances at him, and I wish for once he would just be quiet. We both open our doors, and I see how much traffic has gathered. People are driving by slowly to be nosy.

  Eli makes sure Geezer is secure in the back seat and we follow her to the front of my car. When I see the damage, I feel like I might be sick again.

  My headlights are completely smashed and glass litters the ground. There’s a huge dent in the front bumper, like it ran into the Incredible Hulk’s fist. Everything looks sad and broken and hopeless. Exactly how I feel inside. Because now I know that there is absolutely no way I will make it to the audition.

  And—oh my God. Mom. She’s going to kill me when she sees what’s happened!

  Eli takes a step closer to the car and bends down, tapping his knuckles against the destroyed bumper. He winces and then turns around to look at me. “It’s not so bad.”

  “WHAT?” In seconds I’m standing right above him, pointing my finger inches from his nose. “What do you mean it’s not so bad? This is TERRIBLE, and it’s your fault! You’re not in a Fast & Furious movie. News flash: my Honda is not your Camaro!”

  “My fault?” He stands up straight, reminding me who the bigger person actually is. His nostrils flare. “You’re the one who threw up all over me! I was trying to pull over!”

  The Impala woman stands in between us before I can say anything else. “Arguing isn’t going to solve anything,” she says. Eli and I immediately stop talking. Maybe it’s because of her peaceful hippie aura. “Can you tell me whose car this is?”

  “Hers,” Eli says at the same time that I say, “Mine.”

  “I’m Natalie,” she says to me. “Do you have your insurance and registration so that we can exchange information? We should take care of that before we contact the police.”

  “I’m Chloe. And yes, I have it.” I bite my lip and hold back tears. Mom’s insurance will skyrocket after we report this accident. She’ll never trust me with anything again.

  I start to walk to my car to get my information, but Eli grabs on to my arm, stopping me.

  “Wait a second,” he whispers. “Let me try to handle this first.”

  “What are you talking about?” I whisper back, glancing at Natalie. Her perplexed expression has returned.

  “Just listen to me for once.”

  He rolls his shoulders back and flashes a smile as if he’s getting ready to deliver a speech. I don’t understand why he’s doing this until he turns around and flashes this smile at Natalie. Right away, she blushes.

  “I’m Eli,” he says, gently taking her hand in his. “It’s very nice to meet you, Natalie. I’m sorry it had to happen under these circumstances.” His smile grows, dimples deepen. Natalie smiles back shyly. It doesn’t surprise me that he has the same effect on her that he does on girls our age. “Natalie, you seem like an understanding person. Do you think it’s really necessary to get insurance companies involved? There’s barely any damage to your car.”

  Natalie glances at the small dent in her bumper. “This car is a tank. A ’72 Impala. My grandfather gave it to me when I graduated from college.”

  “Nice,” Eli says. “It’s a beauty.”

  Natalie nods in agreement, but she still doesn’t look completely convinced. If Eli notices this, too, he doesn’t let on.

  “Hey, can you check on Geezer?” he asks me.

  “Huh?” I turn around and look at Geezer. He’s poking his head out of the back-seat window, watching cars drive by. “He’s fine.”

  “He might need water.” Eli’s eyebrows are doing something funky. It takes me a second to realize he’s giving me a look that says he has a plan. And me standing here is not helping said plan. “I packed his water bowl in my bag.”

  “Okay,” I say, walking away.

  Geezer looks at me suspiciously as I open the back-seat door, but he starts to wag his tail when he sees me pull his water bowl from Eli’s bag. I place it flat on the back seat, and Geezer is already shoving his long tongue into the bowl before I’ve even poured all the water out of my water bottle.

  I can’t hear what Eli is saying to Natalie, but I can see that he’s making her laugh. She glances at me in the car and frowns a little. What is he telling her?

  Whatever he’s saying must be working. As he talks, Natalie nods her head like she’s hypnotized. Then Eli calls my name and waves me over.

  “I think it would be easier if we just settled this ourselves,” Natalie says to me. Sheesh. Eli did a number on her. And fast, too. This must be some sort of record for him. “There wasn’t much damage done to my car. But you’ll probably need to be towed.”

  “I have AAA,” Eli says. “I’ll call them now.” He backs away to make the call.

  “Are you okay?” Natalie asks me. She’s looking at the flakes of dried puke on my leotard.

  “I’m okay,” I say quickly. “Just got a little carsick.”

  She nods and smiles slightly. “My sister was the same way before she had my nephew.”

  I blink. What do her sister and her nephew have to do with me being carsick?

  Eli comes back over. “They’ll be here in about thirty minutes to take us to the closest mechanic.”

  THIRTY MINUTES? I want to scream, but I force my mouth to stay closed. What did I think? That after everything I’d still be able to make it to my audition? No way. That ship has puked on itself and sailed.

  Tears brim and a sniffle escapes. Eli glances at me, and I walk over to sit on the guardrail because I don’t want him to see me cry. The most important day of my life is ruined. This is worse than the night I broke my ankle. Worse than the day Mom told me she wouldn’t let me audition for the conservatory.

  I wish I could call her now to hear her tell me everything will be okay, but I can’t ever tell her about this. I’m about to full-out cry, when Natalie walks over and wraps me in a tight embrace. Her bony arms make the hug a little uncomfortable, but I appreciate it nonetheless.

  “Good luck with your family,” she whispers before she lets me go.

  I stare at her. “Huh?”

  But she’s already walking away and climbing into her indestructible Impala.

  Eli goes to put Geezer on his leash, and they both join me at the guardrail. Eli is uncharacteristically silent as he sits down beside me. His baseball cap is back.

  “What did you tell Natalie?” I ask.

  For a second, he looks sheepish. “I told her that you’re pregnant and that’s why you threw up.”

  “WHAT?”

  “Not done,” he says, holding up a hand. “And that you were my girlfriend, and I was taking you to D.C. to propose.”

  “Eli!” I smack his arm.

  “What?! Why else do you think she didn’t call the cops or why she isn’t going to say anything to her insurance company? It wasn’t my best lie, but she was swept up in our fake love story anyway. Now your mom will never find out.”

  This brings me relief. But still. “I’ll miss my audition.”

  “I know,” he says quietly. He reaches down and reties his loose shoestrings. Then he sits up and scratches the back of his neck. I think he’s having a hard time looking at me. “What … what kind of ballet audition was it? For like a group or something?”

  I shake my head and then tell him about Avery Johnson and his conservatory.

 
“Sounds like you have a crush on this Avery guy,” he says. I roll my eyes, and then he gets serious. “For real, though, Chlo. After what happened with your ankle, I didn’t know you still took dance so seriously. I’m glad you do.”

  For once he’s trying to be nice, but him bringing up my ankle only makes me angrier. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me anymore,” I snap.

  He frowns and starts to say something else, but the tow truck finally arrives to take us away.

  Eli picks up Geezer and sets him down in the cab of the truck and then we both climb inside. I’m squished against the window, but that’s fine. I can turn my head as I cry instead of facing forward.

  One of my favorite ballets is The Dying Swan, a solo piece that is only danced by the most esteemed ballerinas. As the title suggests, it tells the story of a swan that is dying. The choreography is made of upper-body and arm movements, with small and subtle footsteps. Although the piece is short, it’s both powerful and beautiful. It’s always been my dream to dance this. So it’s ironic that I feel like a dying swan, but there is no power or beauty in this moment.

  “Are you okay?” Eli whispers to me.

  I pretend not to hear him.

  Chapter 5

  Game Plan

  It’s going to cost $2,500 to fix my car. $2,500 that I don’t have. I’m sobbing so hard, Jay Sanchez, owner of Sanchez & Sons, comes from behind the counter to console me.

  Stop crying, I tell myself. But then I think Mom and ballet and Avery Johnson and no audition and TWENTY-FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. My eyes turn into waterfalls, too many tears for me to catch.

  “Chlo,” Eli says, softly laying his hand on my shoulder.

  “I’m okay.” I hate that I’m having a freak-out in the middle of this mechanic shop, where I can barely hear myself think over the sound of the other mechanics shouting to each other. They keep walking by, glancing at the damage to my car and whistling under their breath. Geezer won’t stop sniffing around me because he can smell my puke-covered leotard. I wish I could fold into myself and disappear. This is humiliating.

  “You’re going to need new parts,” Jay says. “Twenty-five hundred is the best I can do. I’m sorry.”

  Before I can plead with him about payment plans or offer dance lessons to a granddaughter or niece in the place of money, Eli pulls out his wallet and shows Jay a shiny silver credit card.

  “We’ll put the bill on here,” he says.

  “Wait, what?” I blink. “Eli, you can’t pay for this.”

  “I’m not paying for it.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “My mom gave it to me for emergencies,” he says. “Don’t you think this counts as an emergency?”

  If I weren’t trying to keep Mom from finding out that we crashed my car, I would definitely not let Eli charge $2,500 to his credit card on my behalf. But I am trying to keep Mom from finding out that we crashed my car, so I nod and keep my mouth shut.

  Jay tells us that since he will have to order the parts, the soonest he can have the car ready is Monday.

  “MONDAY?” I shout. Really, what is up with me and all the shrieking today? “What are we supposed to do until Monday?”

  “There’s a motel about a mile from here,” Jay says. He must feel really bad for us, because he offers to give us a ride, and he doesn’t complain when Geezer farts loudly in the back seat.

  Eli uses his credit card to pay for our room, which luckily is in the back, so we can easily sneak Geezer inside without anyone seeing. There are two double beds with mustard-yellow blankets, and a lamp that flickers like it’s close to death. It smells like mothballs and hopelessness.

  Eli sets his duffel bag down, claiming the bed closest to the door. Geezer hops up to lie beside the bag, and I slide past them and sit on the edge of the other bed. Eli pulls his pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and shakes one loose into his palm.

  “I’m gonna go for a smoke,” he says. “Can you watch Geez for a minute?”

  I nod and as soon as he’s gone, I shut myself in the bathroom, ignoring Geezer as he sniffs at the door.

  I’m unrecognizable when I look at my reflection in the mirror. My bun is coming undone, my edges are frizzy, and my cheeks are dry. I won’t even comment on my ruined leotard. I run hot water and use a washcloth to scrub off the leftover puke.

  It’s 2:03 p.m. Right now I should be inside the Washington Ballet’s studio, dancing my way into my future. I shouldn’t be sitting on the cold bathroom floor, leaning against the tub in a random motel room in Delaware.

  This was my only chance, and I screwed it up. I thought everything aligned so perfectly today because I was meant to make it to this audition, but I was wrong. If I would’ve kept my nerves together, I wouldn’t have thrown up and we wouldn’t have had that accident.

  Even if by some miracle I found a way to D.C., by the time I got there, the auditions would be over. Avery Johnson and his team would probably be on their way to Raleigh for the next audition on Wednesday.

  Wait … the next audition is in Raleigh on Wednesday. And Mom will be gone until Sunday. If I go to the audition, I can drive straight home afterward, and she’ll still have no idea!

  I hop up on my feet at the same time that Eli knocks on the bathroom door.

  “Can I come in?” Eli asks.

  “No—”

  He’s already opened the door, poking his head inside.

  “I could have been naked,” I say, irritated.

  “But you aren’t.” He crosses the bathroom with Geezer on his heels and sits on the toilet-seat cover. “Good. You’re done moping.”

  “I wasn’t moping.” I cover my nose because he smells like cigarettes. “Can you stop smoking? It’s disgusting. When did you even start?”

  He waves his hand in dismissal. “We need to come up with a game plan for the next few days until the car is fixed.”

  “We don’t need to do anything. I already have a plan.”

  He grins. “Oh yeah, and what’s that?”

  “I’m going to the audition in Raleigh on Wednesday.” I cross my arms over my chest. “You can figure out your own way to get to your dad’s.”

  His grin widens.

  Oh, God. Now we’re both going to North Carolina.

  “Well, if you’re driving to the same state my dad lives in, why wouldn’t I want a ride?” He leans forward and clasps his hands in prayer for the second time today. “Look, I’ll even drive. You know you don’t want to because you’re afraid of the highway.”

  I make a face. “I’m not afraid.” He snorts. I need to become a better liar. “And look where your fabulous driving has gotten us.”

  “I wouldn’t have crashed if you hadn’t thrown up on me.”

  “I wouldn’t have thrown up if you hadn’t stressed me out so badly! I’ve never known someone who could literally make another person nauseous.”

  I would never tell him that I’ve felt nervous about my dancing since I broke my ankle, which was also his fault, truthfully. It all goes back to him.

  “This sounds like a chicken-or-egg situation,” he says.

  “What?” I shake my head. What is he ever talking about?

  “I’m paying for the car repairs,” he says, bouncing his knees, growing visibly impatient. “You didn’t even say thank you, by the way.”

  “You didn’t give me a chance!”

  “Okay. Well, I am now.” He leans back and crosses his legs at the ankles, waiting.

  I feel like there’s thick, hot sand on my tongue. I would rather swallow it than say thank you, especially if this is the way he wants to go about receiving gratitude. But I force the words out. “Thank you.”

  “See, that wasn’t so hard,” he says. “Now, I promise that Geezer and I will be on our best behavior if you let us go with you.”

  I look down at Geezer, who is curled up at Eli’s feet. Eli is annoying, but what kind of person would I be if I just abandoned him here in Delaware with his
old dog? Plus, I really don’t want to drive. Especially not after the accident we just had.

  Again, I can’t believe that I’m about to say these words. “Fine. You can come with me.”

  “Thank you, thank you,” Eli says, getting down on his knees to grovel at my feet.

  “Stop that.” I push him away and he laughs.

  “But what will your dad say?” I ask. “Isn’t he expecting you today? And did you ever call your mom to tell her you found a ride?”

  “My dad only cares if I make it to the college tour on Saturday. My mom knows I’ll get to his house eventually.”

  He stands up and Geezer rolls to his feet. “This is all happening for a reason, you know.”

  “What is happening for a reason?”

  He waves his hands in the air. “The car accident. Us being stuck here. Going to a different audition. It’s all happening for a reason. We just don’t know why yet. So we should probably relax.”

  I roll my eyes. “Who knew you could be so philosophical?”

  “I did. Let’s go find something to eat.”

  On cue, my stomach grumbles, reminding me that it’s empty.

  “But first, let’s change,” he says. “We both smell like puke.”

  * * *

  Eli lets me borrow one of his T-shirts and we walk to get snacks and dog food from a minimart around the corner. When we get back to our room, I go outside to call Reina while Eli watches TV. While her campers play movie trivia, she sneaks behind a cabin to talk. As expected, when I give her an update on my trip, she thinks it’s absurd that I’m still letting Eli come along. She might even be more upset about that than the actual accident. She doesn’t have much time to yell at me, though, because she catches two campers sneaking out to the woods, and she has to hang up.

  When I walk back inside, Eli is feeding Geezer bone-shaped doggie treats. Suddenly, it hits me that we’ll have to be together for the next four days. This is going to be so awkward.