Dreaming of a White Christmas

by Kathleen Y'Barbo

  “Have you ever gone night fishing, Ben?”

  Now this was a multifaceted woman. He guided her around a clump of seaweed, then steered her toward the rocks jutting out at the water’s edge a few yards away.

  “Night fishing? Yes, actually I have. Pop used to take me to the Cade’s Point pier all the time. Why do you ask?”

  She shrugged. “My daddy used to take me night fishing, too, and I wondered something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Well, you know that look the fish has when it breaks the surface? The one where he realizes he’s out of the water and in for trouble?”

  Ben chuckled. “Yeah, but I’m not sure where you’re going with this, Casey.”

  They stopped at the edge of the small gulf between the rocks and the shore. Unwilling to commit to spend-ing more time here, Ben prayed that the Lord would either lead him home or urge him to climb up to where a spectacular view of His light show would soon be had.

  Casey touched Ben’s sleeve and looked past him to the pounding surf. “Here’s where I’m going with this, Ben: Back there at the restaurant before your sister showed up, you were doing just fine. I mean, we were having a good time, weren’t we?”

  He nodded.

  “Then, here comes Delia and Bob, and pretty soon you were snagged up in something that made you look just like one of those fish. I just haven’t figured out what that something was.”

  Ben closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He released it slowly with the intention of telling Casey everything. Instead, a soft whisper crossed his heart and he found other words.

  “Casey, I can’t explain this—I mean, it’s crazy to say this, seeing as how we barely know one another, but I. . .”

  She waited expectantly yet silently while he struggled to put together a meaningful sentence.

  “What I’m saying is, there is so much you don’t know about me, and yet I feel like I’m not able to tell you. I want to, believe me.” He raked his hand through his hair, then touched the spot over his eye. “Every time I look in the mirror I’ll think of you.”

  “Past tense.” She looked down to study her hands. “Well, Ben, maybe it’s time we head home. It’s been a wonderful evening.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, Ben saw a streak of light followed in quick succession by two more. “Actually, if you’ll bear with me, I did have one more thing planned.”

  Even as she nodded, she looked doubtful.

  “How are your climbing skills?” He pointed to Outlook Rock, the centermost and tallest of the three formations. “Because we can either watch from down here or up there. Down here’s not bad, but if you don’t mind the hike, the view from up there is spectacular.”

  Casey smiled. “You forget. I was raised in the country. I was climbing trees while you were still playing dolls.”

  “Playing dolls?” He feigned indignation. “So, that’s how it’s going to be, is it? Let’s see how you like Cali-fornia rock climbing.”

  Casey leaned against the smaller rock and dusted the sand off her feet, then donned her socks and sneakers. “Now I see why you told me to wear these shoes. I wondered when I saw the restaurant if I’d misunderstood.”

  “Follow me, little lady. You’re about to see the show of your life. By the way, this is called Outlook Rock. We had the name before the software guy thought of it.”

  She giggled at his bad joke, then forged ahead. “One thing we don’t have in Missouri is a coastline. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of the smell of salt air and the feel of sand under my feet.”

  She’d just spoken his heart—odd how a girl from a landlocked state could feel the same as a man who’d been raised with swim fins and a wetsuit.

  “Come on then,” Ben said. “We don’t want to be late for the opening act.”

  They traversed the maze of low-lying rocks, then reached Outlook Rock. “I’ll go first and you stay right behind me. The trail’s not steep, but there are a few spots that are a little tricky.”

  Five minutes later, they stood atop Outlook Rock. The view was spectacular in the daylight, with a panorama that included the mountains on one side and the sparkling Pacific on the other. On a clear day, you could see all the way to Catalina Island.

  Ben pointed to a bag he’d stashed under a natural crevice this afternoon. He unzipped the duffel and pulled out a plaid stadium blanket. As he arranged the blanket, he smiled up at Casey. “Our box seats, milady.” He pointed to a spot on the blanket. “You can lie there and I’ll be over here. No funny business, I promise.”

  She didn’t seem convinced. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

  “Remember, Sleeping Beauty, we are here to see the show. I’ll put the duffel bag between us.”

  “Well, I suppose it will be all right.” Casey took her spot on the blanket, leaning back to rest her hands beneath her head.

  Ben settled beside her and leaned up on his elbows. “Even my sister will tell you I am a perfect gentleman.”

  Casey turned to look his direction. “So, what’s the name of this show?”

  “Just watch, Casey,” he said. “It has no name—at least none that I know of.”

  As he spoke the words, another streak dashed from the heavens. Her smile warmed his heart. Until now, he’d watch a meteor shower over anything else. Now all he wanted to do was watch Casey Forrester.

  Oh yeah, he had it bad. Lord, what are You up to?

  “Did you see that?” Casey pointed straight up. “It looks like God’s throwing stars.”

  Ben chuckled and leaned back to see the meteors streak overhead. Occasionally, he succumbed to the temptation to turn his attention to the woman at his side.

  Watching her watch the Lord’s handiwork was the best show of all.

  ~

  Casey said good-bye to Ben at the bottom of the stairs with a hug and a handshake, then nearly floated up to her door. What a wonderful evening. Sure, there were a few questions lingering in her mind about Ben, but her thoughts spun past them to remember more pleasant things. She’d seen starry nights and her share of falling stars back in Pierce City, but nothing as beautiful as tonight’s spectacular display.

  Ben had been the perfect gentleman, keeping to his promise to place the duffel bag between them. She’d stolen a few covert glances and even caught him looking her direction a few times. Still, he’d only offered a quick smile before turning his attention skyward.

  Just as she closed the door, her cell phone rang. It was Ben.

  “Did you lock the door?”

  “Yes, I locked the door.” She peeked out the curtains to see Ben still sitting in his truck by the curb. Letting the fabric slide back into place, Casey leaned against the wall and smiled. “Why?”

  “Just checking.”

  In the background she heard the ding of the ignition and the sound of the truck’s engine roaring to life. “Well, thank you for checking.”

  “You’re welcome. Casey?”

  Casey took another look out the window. “Yes?”

  “I have to go. I’m useless trying to drive and talk on the phone.”

  “At least you know that about yourself. Most don’t.”

  Ben chuckled. “I don’t want to hang up.”

  She watched the headlights come on. “You have to. I don’t want you to risk getting a ticket.”

  “I suppose not.” He paused. “May I call tomorrow?”

  It was Casey’s turn to laugh as she glanced up at the clock. “Ben, it is tomorrow.”

  “So it is. Well, then, how about I call you later today?”

  Chapter 10

  Ben waited a respectable nine hours before phoning Casey. He caught her on her way out the door for a run, and, at Casey’s insistence, he talked to her until she stopped for coffee at Java Hut. The topic: It’s a Wonderful Life versus Miracle on 34th Street, the Natalie Wood version.

  If he hadn’t been on duty, Ben might have met her at the counter and took his turn paying. Instead, he settled for t
aking the rig out to gas it up and driving past to see if she was still there.

  When he found himself circling the block to be sure he hadn’t missed her, Ben realized he might be falling for the window dresser from Missouri. Funny how he didn’t mind.

  The rest of the week passed in a flurry of phone calls to and from Casey, all sandwiched in between runs in the ambulance. His day off was Friday, and they planned their second official date: a compromise from Ben’s original idea of a surfing lesson, which Casey nixed. Instead, Ben borrowed Jerry’s sailboat and conned Alexis’s cook into preparing an impressive picnic lunch.

  God blessed them with a beautiful day for a sail, and He added a fine wind for good measure. Casey learned quickly and soon took her turn at navigating the channel. Only the threat of missing lunch could coax her away from the wheel.

  “Did you make all this?” Casey reached for a handful of grapes and added them to her plate of roasted chicken and Greek salad. “It’s wonderful.”

  Ben carried his plate beside her. “It would be easy to take credit for this, but my sister’s cook did the honors. Does it count that I thought of it?”

  Her smile was glorious. “Yes, it counts. Now, tell me about these sisters of yours. You have four of them?”

  The mention of his family usually froze his blood, but somehow he found he wanted to tell Casey about his sisters.

  “Yes. Delia, whom you’ve met, is the oldest and by far the bossiest. Alex comes next. She’s the smart one. Then there’s Alex’s twin Andrea, who is five minutes younger and a world different. Alex calls her the domestic diva because Andi’s goal in life is to make the perfect pot roast and never have a pillow unfluffed. She’s the most like Mom. Finally, there’s Jill. She’s a nurse. Last I heard she was working out of a hut in Sudan providing medical care to war victims. Her husband is a missionary.”

  “What an interesting family. You must be proud of your sisters.”

  Ben nodded. “Yeah, the girls really are a quartet of unique women.”

  Casey set her plate aside and leaned against the cushions. “Do your parents have any grandchildren?”

  “Seven.” He popped a grape in his mouth, then swallowed. “Delia’s got two, Alex one, and Andi had four at last count.”

  “What about Jill?”

  Ben shrugged. “She says it’s too dangerous to bring babies into the world where she and Kent live. I suppose it’s all in God’s hands, but I would like to see her with children of her own.” He glanced at Casey and caught her staring. “What?”

  “You like kids, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, they’re great. Why?”

  She turned to look in the direction of the wind, eyes closed, and her hair blew away from her face. “No reason,” she finally said. “I’m just trying to figure out who you are.”

  “I’m just me.”

  Casey opened her eyes and regarded him with an odd look. “Just you? No deep, dark secrets?”

  Uh-oh. I don’t like the tone of that.

  “W–w–what do you mean?”

  She sat up straighter. “I mean, it surprises me that a man who knows so much about his sisters doesn’t sit down with them on Thanksgiving.”

  He tried not to scowl. “I told you before. I had to work.”

  “Yes, you did, but I happen to know you got off early enough to stop in front of Callahan & Callahan and watch the windows being unveiled.” Casey ran her hands through her hair and tilted her chin to meet the early afternoon sun. “But what you didn’t tell me is why you don’t talk about your parents.”

  Time to change the subject. But how?

  He rose to yank at the rope holding the anchor. To his surprise, Casey came up behind him and put her hand atop his.

  “I’m sorry, Ben,” she said softly. “I don’t mean to pry. You don’t have to say another word if you don’t want to.”

  Ben turned slowly. Casey stood close. Too close.

  He sank onto the cushions and buried his head in his hand. What now, Lord? Do I tell her?

  From somewhere deep inside, he felt the words well up. “My mother went home to Jesus when I was very young. I haven’t spoken to my father since I enlisted.” At her confused look, he continued. “Pop wanted me to go into the family business. I felt medicine calling me but knew I would never be able to afford med school with my father set against it. I settled for enlisting in the Marines. It seemed like a good way to get the training I wanted and get out of town at the same time. When I told him the news, he told me he no longer had a son.”

  Ben watched Casey take it all in, seemingly digesting the news fairly well.

  “So, let me understand this. Your father was grooming you to take over his business but you became a Marine instead?”

  “That’s right.”

  “And because you chose the military, he broke off contact.”

  Ben shrugged. “That’s about the size of it, except the breaking off contact thing was mutual.”

  He knew he’d answered all Casey’s questions about his family when the topic turned away from the personal nature of his rift and toward the finer points of tacking against the wind. Glad for the interruption, he tutored Casey in the more difficult aspects of sailing until the sun began to sink toward the horizon. Too soon, he drove up to her house.

  “I had a wonderful time,” Casey said. “Thank you.”

  Ben smiled. “My pleasure.”

  Casey gestured toward the house. “I should go.”

  He released his seat belt and turned off the truck. “Let me walk you to the door this time.” A statement, not a question.

  When they reached the top of the stairs, Casey fished her keys from her purse. She seemed reluctant to unlock the door.

  “Something wrong, Sleeping Beauty?”

  She looked up at him with a concerned expression. “How old is your father?”

  Ben did a quick calculation. “I’d say he’s past eighty by now.”

  “I see.” She touched her lips with her fingers, then sighed. “So, how long are you going to let this continue? I mean, neither of you seem to be walking where God wants in the relationship, don’t you think?”

  Her question offended him. Then, it challenged him. Finally, it concerned him.

  “I hadn’t thought about it that way. Keeping this silence hasn’t honored God, has it?”

  Casey shook her head. “So what are you going to do about it?”

  “Do?” Ben moved closer. “Well, Pop’s not here right now.”

  “No, he’s not.” Casey smiled.

  “And I have to work tonight, so going out to see him now is out of the question. So, what I thought I would do is. . .”—he leaned toward her—“is kiss you.”

  And he did.

  ~

  Casey awoke on Saturday to a text message on her phone. Meet me at Java Hut ASAP. Text me with time. B.

  She slipped into her clothes and sent him a response. Ten minutes? C.

  In no time, she received her answer. Make it five. I am already there. B.

  When she arrived, she found Ben at the cash register purchasing a vanilla latte. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

  She accepted the coffee. “It is now,” she said as she took a tiny sip.

  He wore his uniform and a tired expression. “I wanted to thank you for yesterday,” he said.

  Casey felt herself blush. The kiss had been even more spectacular than the day. In fact, she had been reliving it this morning when he’d called.

  “What do you mean?”

  Ben raked his hands through his hair. “If I weren’t so tired I’d go talk to Pop right now. See, you were right. I’m not honoring God with my behavior.”

  “Did I say that?” She took another sip of her latte. “It sounds kind of harsh now that I am hearing you say it.”

  “It was the truth, Casey.” He paused and seemed to be studying the counter. “There’s something else I need to tell you, and I don’t think you’re going to like it. See, my father is—”


  His radio squawked to life. Once again, he was being summoned for overtime work. Jerry was running late and the captain needed a man to cover his shift until the EMT could arrive. He’d only be there an hour, no more, the captain promised.

  Ben took Casey’s hand and lifted it to touch his lips. “We need to finish this conversation. Can I come over tonight?”

  Casey frowned. “I’m sorry, Ben. I made dinner plans with two ladies from work. I realized when I got stuck in the store that I needed to cultivate my friendships here.” She paused to offer him a grin. “Just in case I need to call someone in the middle of the night and ask for help.”

  “Tomorrow after church then?”

  “Sure. Now, come on. I’ll walk you out.” Casey rose and tossed her empty latte container into the trash bin.

  He stopped in his tracks and shook his head. “I promised the guys in my men’s group I’d have lunch with them. We’re trying to decide on a Bible study. I’m on the evening shift, so I will have to go straight from my lunch to work.”

  “We’ll figure something out, Ben,” she said as they stopped beside the ambulance.

  Ben looked to the right and then to the left before embracing Casey. He held her for a moment, then brushed her cheek with his lips. She looked up into his eyes and grinned.

  “What a nice way to start the day.”

  “No, this is a nice way to start the day.” He kissed her quickly. “Casey, I don’t know what’s happening between us. Do you?”

  Yes, I know, Ben Callahan. It’s crazy but I’m in love. Are you?

  Chapter 11

   "Thanks for covering my rear, Ben.” Jerry slipped behind the wheel of the rig and buckled his seat belt. They had a call, a nonemergency, and thankfully it came in just as his buddy arrived.

  “I wanted to tell you why I was late.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Ben said, “but you don’t have to.”

  Jerry smiled. “See, I was all set to walk out the door when my kid comes in and starts asking me all these questions about God and stuff. Well, since you and I have been talking, I had some of the answers. The rest, we looked up.”