How Sinners Fight

by Eva Ashwood

  Elias’s flirtatious energy, his optimism and sweetness. The quiet connection with Declan that goes beyond words and bodies. The explosive, destructive, chemistry between Gray and me. I would have never guessed on that first day when I walked onto Hawthorne’s campus and met the other two Sinners that it wouldn’t ever just be Gray.

  It’s all of them.

  I clear my throat as we walk back toward the dorms, realizing that Max is hanging behind a little, her steps dragging. I know she’s happy, but I get the sense that she needs to talk about something—something I’m pretty sure is named Aaron.

  “I’ll meet up with you guys later,” I tell the guys quickly, falling back a few steps to walk next to my friend. “I want to talk with Max really quick.”

  Gray cocks an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything, and we split up as they head toward the guys’ dorms and we walk toward the buildings that house the girls. Max gives me a grateful look, letting out a little sigh.

  “It’s about Aaron, isn’t it?”

  I try to keep my voice neutral. I have plenty of fucking opinions about that guy, but I want to let her say whatever she needs to without worrying about judgment from me.

  The last light of the setting sun filters through the trees that dot the green campus, and Max keeps her gaze on the path ahead of us as we walk.

  “Yeah,” she says slowly. “I’m not sure how I feel about everything that happened back there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you, fucking relieved that we don’t have to deal with Cliff anymore, I just—”

  “Max.” I stop her with a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to feel bad. And seriously, you can tell me anything. You know that.”

  She finally meets my gaze. “I know.”

  “Then tell me about it. What’s up?”

  “I think I’m starting to have feelings for Aaron,” she admits, her voice slightly strangled. It doesn’t surprise me, but hearing her say it makes it more real. “I know he can be a real dick. I mean, just look at who he hangs out with, but I just feel something.”

  I don’t say anything, letting her continue when she’s ready.

  “The thing is…” She bites her lip. “I feel a little bad for using him like that, which is stupid.” She frowns as we turn and continue walking through the deserted campus. “But what confuses me most is that he didn’t mention our conversation when we confronted Cliff tonight.”

  “Yeah. I thought about that too,” I admit. “I’m glad Gray didn’t mention how we found out about the hooker, but I thought maybe Aaron would. I didn’t expect him to be there or I wouldn’t have asked you to come with us. He could’ve totally called you out for basically spying on Cliff through him.”

  “He was probably just protecting himself from Cliff’s wrath,” she mutters. “Maybe he knows how psycho and unbalanced his ‘friend’ is and didn’t want to risk getting on his bad side by admitting what he told me.”

  “That’s totally possible.”

  I blow out a breath, wondering why I’m not enthusiastically agreeing with her. If she’s having doubts about Aaron, I should probably be stoking those doubts, not trying to put them out. Maybe it’s because of how the Sinners and I started, the way something so fucked up and vicious is turning into the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

  “But in the end, he was also protecting you,” I add quietly. “Not only did he keep his shit together, he prevented a big fat target from being painted on you. If he admitted you hooked up with him to get dirt on Cliff, I’m pretty sure Cliff the fuckface would blame you a lot more than his buddy.”

  She groans, running her hands through her hair. “See why I’m so fucking confused?” she says. “My feelings make me want to think he did it for me, when really he probably just did it for himself. It’s stupid. I’m stupid.”

  “No, you’re not,” I tell her. “Look, I’m not one to judge relationships that start in messed up places. If you like Aaron, don’t just write off your feelings because they don’t make sense to you. Aaron’s not blameless here—he’s been friends with Cliff and taking his side for a long time, and Cliff is a piece of shit, okay?”

  “You’re right.” She cocks her head, her eyebrows pulling together. “But you know what the weirdest part is? It’s almost like… it’s almost like Aaron knew what he was doing when he told me about the hooker. Maybe it wasn’t just a slip of his tongue. Maybe it was an active attempt to help me. To help you. Maybe he wanted us to use that against Cliff.”

  I shrug. I’m not sure I agree with all of that, but I can tell Max really does have some kind of feelings for Aaron, and if I’m being honest, besides his association with Cliff, the guy really hasn’t done anything wrong.

  “Look,” I tell her. “Go with what your gut tells you. If you want to see him, then see him. But the second he fucks with my best friend, I’ll kill him with my bare hands. No exceptions. No second chances.”

  Max lets out a small laugh. “And that’s why I’m friends with you.”

  We’re both quiet as we walk the rest of the way across campus. When we reach her building, she doesn’t go inside, just stands there.

  “I think I’m going to go try to find him,” she says slowly. “Aaron, I mean. I want to clear the air between us and see if… see if I was right or if it’s just wishful thinking.”

  I nod. “Okay. Good luck.”

  I almost offer to go with her, but I know she won’t want me there. The looks that were passing back and forth between her and Aaron today make me think that, whatever this thing started as, it’s become real for both of them. I doubt she’ll want me chaperoning her talk with him, especially since his friend fucking hates me.

  Honestly, I still don’t know how to feel about the fact that Max is into one of the Saints, but she didn’t judge my fucked up relationship with the Sinners, so I feel like I have to give her the benefit of the doubt here.

  If it were Cliff she was interested in, that would be a different story. But Aaron seems different.

  Leaving Max to sort out her guy problems, I head back to my dorm with a growling stomach.

  It’s too late for the cafeteria to be open, and I know there really isn’t anything worth eating in my little kitchen. So instead of bothering with cupboards I know will be empty, I drop my bag off in my room and grab a hoodie, taking the short walk to the nearby downtown district that has some cheap bars and food joints.

  Choosing comfort food tonight, I decide on a bar that serves greasy burgers and fries. The wait is short, but by the time I leave the bar with my hands shoved in my pockets, it’s dark.

  I turn left and head down the sidewalk back toward campus, digging in my pocket for my phone to text the guys. I pull up Elias’s contact, my thumbs flying over the screen as I type out a message.

  Suddenly, a car screeches.

  There’s a dull thunk, and bright headlights cast harsh shadows in front of me, making my own shadow stretch out like some kind of monster.

  Fuck. That car is right behind me.

  My stomach flips over as adrenaline spikes in my veins, and I throw myself to the side, my body acting on pure instinct.

  The car hops the curb and cuts over the sidewalk, missing me by bare inches as I go flying onto the hard pavement. The dark vehicle speeds away with another loud screech as I mutter a stream of curses, my wrists and ass throbbing from the impact of hitting the ground.

  My heart races as I push myself up on shaking limbs, my breath coming in choppy gasps.

  Holy shit. What the fuck was that?

  I stagger after the car, my brain conjuring up some half-formed idea that I need to get the license plates, I need to get some identifying features—even though whoever almost hit me is long gone.

  I barely make it three steps before I’m hit with a wave of memories, like walking straight into a brick wall.

  My body jolts, lurching to a stop as my eyes open wide. I barely see the street in front of me anymore though. Instead, in my mind’s eye, I see a dark stairc
ase. Each new memory that rises up inside me makes my pulse thrum even faster.

  A pair of hands on my back.

  A quick push—a shove.

  My body careening down the stairs, spinning out of control.

  Another body at the top of the stairs. A person standing there, backlit by dim light as they look down at me.

  Motherfucker.

  I come spiraling back into reality, clutching a hand to my heart as if it’s about to fall out of my chest.

  Someone is trying to kill me.

  And they just did it again.

  Cliff.

  Goddammit.

  Hot rage washes through me as I scramble for my phone, finding it face down on the pavement from when it flew out of my hand. By some miracle the screen isn’t cracked; there’s only a small dent on the side of the case as proof of what happened.

  My hands shake as I unlock it and pull open my contacts, dialing the most recent contact. It’s Elias, and he picks up on the first ring.

  “Hey, Blue.” I can hear the grin in his voice. “You coming over? We’re all hanging out at Gray’s right now—”

  “Elias.” My throat constricts. “Someone is trying to kill me.”

  The line goes dead for half of a second.

  “Where are you?” he says, and even though his voice sounds calm, I can tell it’s laced with panic.

  “I’m fine right now,” I tell him, explaining where I went to eat dinner and what happened. “I’m walking back, I’m almost there—”

  “Gray is leaving right now to pick you up,” he says, “but keep walking. Don’t hang up on me.”

  I stay on the phone with him, and less than ten minutes later, I recognize Gray’s car pulling up. I flinch slightly as the headlights illuminate the darkness around me, pushing aside the memory of another car speeding toward me. He gets out and rounds the hood, his gaze intent on my face.

  “Gray’s here now,” I tell Elias.

  “Let me talk to him.”

  I hand Gray the phone, and he assures Elias that it’s him before hanging up. I go to get into the car, but Gray pulls me against his body, pressing a kiss to my lips. His heart thuds against my chest as he kisses me deeply, and I can practically feel the relief pounding through my body and his.

  “We’ve got to get you back,” he says, his voice low and dark.

  He helps me into the car, and for once, I don’t try to stop him. Usually, I’m not one for men treating me like I can’t do this shit myself, but I know that’s not why Gray’s doing it. He’s doing it because he can barely bring himself to stop touching me, and he wants any excuse to prolong the contact.

  And if I’m being honest, so do I.

  Inside the car, he grips my hand tightly, navigating the car away from the curb with one hand on the wheel. On the drive back to the campus, both of us are quiet and somber.

  I try to call Max, but she doesn’t pick up, so I leave her a message telling her to meet up at Gray’s dorm as quickly as possible. I know she wanted to hash shit out with Aaron, but I also know she’d be pissed if I didn’t tell her about this.

  When we get back to Gray’s room, Elias and Declan spring up, their eyes roaming over my body, checking for injuries.

  “I’m fine,” I say, letting them pull me into their arms, hug me, kiss me—as if by touching me, they’ll know I’m truly okay. “Just a little freaked out, that’s all.”

  They make me tell them again everything I remember about the party and being pushed down the stairs, then how the car nearly hit me.

  “I know it could have just been an accident—” I start to say.

  “No,” Gray cuts in firmly. “We’re not treating it like that, even if it was. Do you think it was Cliff?”

  “I’m not sure.” My throat feels scratchy and tight. I’m scared, and that pisses me off. My urge to fight my way out of danger is rising up inside me as always. “I didn’t get a good look at the car, but it didn’t look like his. At least, not the one I’ve seen him drive on campus. Maybe he’s got others.”

  “As far as I’m concerned, he’s the most likely suspect,” Elias says seriously, “considering we just threatened him.”

  “But why would he try to fucking kill me?” I demand, my hands curling into fists.

  “Because he wants to shut you up for good.” Declan’s voice is low, dangerous. He looks like he’s about to go beat the shit out of someone. “Because he’s a weaselly little coward who’s scared of what you could do to him.”

  “But what about the stairs?” I question, speaking my thoughts out loud. “Could it have been him who pushed me down the stairs?”

  Gray guides me to the couch, and I’m thankful for his solid body next to mine. He settles next to me and turns to face me, running a hand over his chin. A little hint of stubble seems to shadow his jaw, but I’m not sure if it’s just the lighting.

  “I was with him upstairs,” he says, a muscle in his cheek jumping as he grits his teeth. I know he hates even thinking about the bargain he made with Cliff once. I hate thinking about it too, no matter what his motivation was.

  “But you weren’t found until about five minutes after I left him in that room. So it’s possible he would’ve had just enough time to get to you after we talked.”

  Fuck.

  I hate this.

  I’ve let the mystery of my fall and the missing parts of my memory from that night fade away this semester, brushing it aside as other more pressing issues demanded my attention. But with the new memories swirling in my head, I suddenly feel like I should’ve spent more time trying to coax them out before now. Because if what I’m remembering is right, the danger I face goes far beyond being framed for murder or harassed by other students.

  Someone wants me dead.

  And they’ve now tried to kill me twice.

  “Where’s Max?” Declan asks suddenly, his brows furrowing.

  I hold up my phone with a grimace. “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to call her while we’ve been talking, but she’s not picking up.”

  Last time I talked to her, she was about to try to go patch things up with Aaron, and I wonder if the radio silence is because that conversation went well or because it went badly. If it went well, maybe she’s still with him. But I figure if it ended badly, she would’ve called me to talk about it.

  I’m just about to call her again when my phone buzzes in my hand, startling me. Her name flashes on the screen, and I let out a breath as I swipe to answer.

  “Hey, girl.” I lift the phone to my ear. “I want to hear how things went with Aaron. But first—”

  “Listen very carefully.”

  A chill goes through my body at the sound of the voice on the other end—a voice that certainly doesn’t belong to my friend. It’s deep, grating, and unnatural, like someone is using some kind of voice modulation software.

  “I have Max,” the voice says, and my heart drops into my stomach.

  22

  For half of a second, the whole world seems to freeze.

  It feels like I’m floating, like my body isn’t attached to anything anymore. My mind tries to block out the strange, too-deep voice and the dead air that follows. I want to pretend none of it is real, pretend that any second my alarm will start blaring and I’ll realize it was all just a bad dream.

  Another one of my fucked up nightmares.

  But it’s not.

  The caller hasn’t hung up, and when I hear an intake of breath on the other end of the line, instinct kicks in. My impulse to fight surges to the surface, and I grip the phone so tight I’m lucky the screen doesn’t crack. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I’m not gonna let anyone hurt my best friend.

  “Where the fuck is she?” I demand. “Who are you?”

  Whoever it is on the other end of the line, they ignore my questions.

  “Meet me alone,” the voice says, giving me a location about twenty miles north of campus in the foothills. “Meet me there and you’ll get Max back.”r />
  With that, there’s a soft click and the phone goes silent. I hit the button to call Max’s phone again, but this time, it only rings once before going to voicemail. It’s off. A noise that’s almost a sob rises in my throat, but I shove it down with a fierce swallow that hurts like hell, looking up at the guys.

  “Someone has her. Someone has Max.”

  Their faces look about as shocked as I feel.

  “What the fuck?” Elias breathes.

  My voice rises a little, growing stronger and harsher as reality sets in. “They fucking took her. They took her, and they want me to meet them at the foothills. Alone.”

  Fury blurs my thoughts, my mind racing a mile a minute. I try to calm myself with a few steadying breaths, to get my head on straight so I can think properly, but I’m short circuiting on a fucked up mix of fear and anger.

  Was it Cliff?

  Aaron?

  Is Aaron pissed about being used? Did he do something to her in retaliation? Or has he been working with Cliff this whole time?

  “I’m going to beat the shit out of whoever it is,” I bite out. “I’m gonna fucking kill them.” My stomach is one giant knot as I push up off the couch. I’ve got to find her. Now. “I’ve never had a best friend before, a ride or die, and I won’t let anyone fucking hurt her.”

  “Soph.” Declan’s voice seems to come from far away. “We need to—”

  I don’t hear the rest of his words. I’m barely listening. My vision is blurry, but I blink away the panic.

  “I’m going,” I say, heading for the door. “I’m not wasting another second, I’m not gonna let some fucking monster—”

  “Fuck no.” Gray steps in front of the doorway, his broad body blocking mine.

  “What?”

  “You’re not going alone.” His voice is hard, an edge to it that I’ve never heard before.

  “But they said I have to come alone—”

  “And I said you’re not. I’m not letting you,” he repeats. “We’re not letting you.”

  Elias and Declan step up beside him, the three of them forming a wall in front of me.