Between the Covers

by Louisa Masters

  She thought.

  Taking a deep breath, she left her room and went down the hall to where Malik was waiting in the living room. Ben had knocked on her door, told her Malik had arrived for his daily “is Dani ready to talk” visit, and upon hearing that she would come out, had promptly corralled Léo and declared they were going shopping.

  He hadn’t even made a face as he said it.

  So she knew the apartment was empty aside from her and Malik. Just them. Alone. With no option but to talk. About them.

  It almost made her want to turn tail and hide in her room.

  Instead, she made herself walk calmly—on the outside, at least—into the living room. Malik turned from where he was standing by the doors to the terrace, and for a long moment, they just stared at each other. He looked tired, maybe a little thinner. There were very fine stress lines around his eyes, which she may not have seen if he hadn’t been standing in the bright sunlight. It had been only two weeks since she’d last seen him, but they’d clearly taken a toll on him.

  “Hey,” she said finally, when she couldn’t stand it anymore.

  “Hello. Thank you for seeing me,” he replied, and he sounded so formal that she wanted to cry. This was not how they were together, even before they were together. Everything was different now.

  She hated that.

  “No problem.” She had to keep things moving along. If she had time to think, time to look at him and remember how much she missed him, she might cry.

  No more fucking crying.

  “Do you want to sit, or…?” She gestured to the couch, and then took a seat in an armchair. He hovered for a moment, then folded abruptly to a seated position.

  And they sat in awkward silence.

  Should she say something? What the hell should she say? What could she say?

  “I’m sorry,” he blurted, his voice so unexpected that she jerked. “I-I don’t know what I can say that will…. I’m afraid to try and explain, because I don’t want to make this worse. If it can even be worse. I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “That’s what I need to say first. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I should have listened. I should have waited until I was thinking clearly to make any sort of decision. I should have done anything except hurt you. I’m sorry.”

  Dani felt tears well up and she hated herself. Damn her for being so emotional. Taking a deep breath, she spent a moment regaining her composure.

  “Thank you,” she said finally. “I appreciate that saying sorry isn’t the easiest thing to do, but it really means a lot that you’ve said it.”

  His beautiful dark eyes searched her face. “Good,” he said quietly. “I never, ever wanted to hurt you, and I will always regret that I have. I… I hope that you can forgive me. That we can… can possibly start again?”

  Her heart began beating faster.

  “Start again?” What did that mean, exactly?

  He shrugged awkwardly, a movement that looked wrong on him. “We could start dating again. I… I want things back the way they were. I want to plan our future and start plotting how I’m going to ask you to marry me, but I understand I need to earn that back. So, we could start again. Last time we jumped in with both feet, but if you wanted to take it slower this time…. I’ll do anything you want.”

  Dani forced herself not to react, to take a deep breath and think carefully about what he was saying. It wasn’t dumb. They had jumped into things very fast. They’d taken things from friendship to being all coupled up and living together literally overnight. Maybe it would be a good idea to start again and go more slowly.

  What did she want? That was the important thing, right? What she wanted? That was what her gran had always said: work out what you want and then get it.

  So what did she want?

  She wanted a fulfilling job.

  She wanted friends and family in her life.

  She wanted Ben around.

  She wanted a home that made her happy to live in it.

  She wanted Malik.

  Meeting his gaze, she said, “I think that’s a good idea. Let’s start again.”

  For a moment, he sat frozen, then he grinned. “Okay. Okay, good. That’s… thank you. I promise, you won’t regret this. I love you.” His eyes widened, and Dani felt like she’d been punched in the stomach. “I’m… I didn’t mean to pressure….”

  “It’s fine,” she managed. “I mean… I get it.” She sucked in a deep breath and mentally pulled on her big girl undies. “I love you too. But… I need space to think. So we’re going to go slow.”

  He nodded. “Whatever you want.”

  She nodded.

  They sat awkwardly.

  “Uh… how are you?” she asked abruptly, because he’d just lost his father and had a brain fart.

  He smiled faintly. “I’m okay. It’s… odd. I spent so much of my life wishing my father would just… I don’t know. Leave me alone? Go away, somehow. I never wished him dead, though, and now that he is, I have so many regrets. I-I always wanted him to see me—see the value in me. And knowing he’ll never be able to do that made me a bit…. Well, I lost perspective. The truth is, even if I had fallen in with his plans, we likely would still have argued all the time. We were just very different people, and he was too stubborn to accept anything that wasn’t exactly what he wanted.” He sighed. “I have to accept that I’ll never have the relationship I wanted with my father.” He seemed to brighten then. “But I talked with my oldest brother, and I think we’ll be closer now. I told him and Mother about my books, and they were both enthusiastic.”

  Dani grinned. “That’s great! I’m so glad. You’re so talented—your family should know how amazing you are.”

  “Thank you. I likely wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t made me see how different things could be if some people knew.”

  “And it worked out for the best. Are you going to stay in contact with your brother now?” She hoped so. She and her sibs weren’t particularly close, not like she was with Ben, but it was still great having them in her life. She wanted that for Malik.

  “Yes. I’m going to go for a long visit once I’ve sorted this deadline and we’re… I mean, when things are….”

  “When we’ve sorted things out between us,” she suggested, and he nodded gratefully.

  “Yes. I’ll go and stay for a while, make my mother happy, get to know my siblings and their kids better.”

  They spoke for a little while longer about stupid, inconsequential things, until finally Malik stood to go. Dani hated herself for the rush of relief, but seriously, could things have been any more awkward?

  Yes.

  They could.

  She knew that because as they both hovered by the front door, they became more awkward.

  What was the etiquette for saying goodbye to your boyfriend who broke your heart but who you were giving a second chance?

  In the end, she rose on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “I’m glad you’re back,” she said honestly, and he smiled at her, a little sadly—perhaps remembering the last time they’d said goodbye, before he’d gone to Saudi Arabia, and how very different it had been.

  “I am too.”

  Later that night, he texted her.

  This is how I feel right now.

  Below was a link to YouTube. She tapped it curiously and was taken to a video of a singing telegram group serenading a laughing woman. The lyrics heavily featured words like idiot, stupid, mistake, forgive, and love. She grinned the whole way through, and then at the end, the person filming called, “Tell us what he did!”

  The laughing woman looked straight at the camera and said, “He donated my Prada handbag that I saved for a year to buy to charity.”

  The video ended, and Dani winced. Sure, she would have been pissed—very pissed—if that had been her, but it wasn’t exactly the same as being unceremoniously dumped with no warning.

  But there were mitigating circumstances. He’d been grieving. Fucked-up by his childhood insecurities. And he’d c
ome to his senses and apologized. Profusely. She’d agreed to give him another chance—didn’t that mean she actually had to try? Because if she didn’t actually want this to succeed, she needed to just tell him now and end the farce. There was no point in them starting over if she’d already decided she couldn’t let it go.

  She stared at the screen of her phone. Wherever Malik was, the message would be showing that she’d read it. So what did she want to say?

  If you donated my Prada handbag, it would take more than a singing telegram to save you.

  Not that she had a Prada handbag. She’d seen the prices on those things, and even when she’d been in the mood to splurge hadn’t been able to justify it to herself, no matter how pretty they were.

  Three dancing dots appeared on her phone.

  What about a singing puppy?

  The next link was to another home video, this one of a woman off-screen, presumably the one filming, singing an Ed Sheeran song, and the adorable golden retriever on the screen barking along to the tune. When the woman stopped singing, so did the dog, and when she started up again, the dog did too, doing an all-over shimmy that looked remarkably like dancing.

  This time, she laughed out loud.

  Okay, the singing dog would save you.

  A light knock on the doorframe got her attention, and she looked over to see Ben smiling tentatively.

  “I heard you laugh.”

  “C’mere.” She shifted over on the bed and waited for him to join her before playing the dog video again. Ben was making kissy noises at the screen within the first few seconds.

  “Where did you find that?” he said when the video ended, now holding her phone. She took it back.

  “Malik sent it.”

  Silence. She looked over at her bestie, a little surprised by his reaction.

  “Malik’s sending you dog videos?” The shock on his expression was mirrored in his voice. She shrugged.

  “He’s sucking up. Look.” She showed him the text string, which meant rewatching the singing telegram video too.

  Halfway through, another text from Malik popped up, and before Dani could dismiss the notification, Ben had snatched her phone away.

  “Dinner tomorrow night?” he read aloud and then jumped off the bed and danced out of her reach, tapping at the screen.

  “Ben! Give that back! Don’t you dare reply!” She lunged after him, but for a man who often tripped over his own feet, he proved to be incredibly good at texting while dodging her. She chased him around the room and out into the hall, where they both crashed into Léo, who’d obviously come to see what all the commotion was about.

  They managed to remain standing, but Ben dropped her phone, which she swooped up before he could detangle himself from Léo.

  “Doesn’t matter,” he gloated. “I sent it.”

  “You’re sending messages from Dani’s phone?” Léo asked incredulously. “Are you a teenager?”

  Dani swiped the screen unlocked, then opened the messaging app. Sure enough, he’d sent Malik a text.

  Only if you bring me a puppy.

  “Really, Ben?” she said acidly. “Of all the things you could have written, that’s what you decided on? He wants a dog,” she told Léo, then turned and went back into her room, leaving her bestie to plead his case.

  Her phone dinged in her hand.

  Really?

  She could only imagine the look on Malik’s face as he’d typed that.

  No. Sorry, Ben got my phone. He’s gone now. Dinner tomorrow sounds great.

  It really did. More so when he texted back with laughing emojis.

  I would buy you a dog if you wanted one. I like dogs.

  Aww. She liked dogs too. What made her stomach go all jittery, though, was the implication that he needed to like dogs because he’d be seeing a lot of hers.

  Not that she had a dog.

  Maybe one day. Let’s have dinner first.

  Their first starting-over date was at the same place they’d had their first date. Dani was hit hard by memories of how happy she’d been the last time they’d been there, and it made her feel better. More confident.

  Malik, on the other hand, seemed nervous.

  “What’s wrong?” she finally asked after he straightened his cutlery for the fifth time.

  He pulled a face. “I’m wondering if I made a mistake deciding to come here,” he admitted. “We had so much fun last time, but….”

  “You’re afraid that’s going to remind me that you did a stupid thing,” Dani finished for him, and he nodded. “Relax. It does, but it also reminds me of how amazing you can be and how good we are together.”

  He visibly relaxed, then studied her, a small smile tugging at his lips.

  “What?” she asked, suddenly self-conscious.

  “I really want to kiss you.”

  The words floated between them, and Dani swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. She met Malik’s gaze and saw there all the love and desire he’d always shown her.

  So she leaned forward.

  Eyes widening, Malik seized the opening and leaned in also. The kiss was awkward, with the table between them, and over far too soon, but for Dani, it was perfect. She licked her lips, enjoying the lingering taste of him. His eyes darkened.

  “We should do that again later,” she murmured, feeling bold, and then Malik grinned wickedly. Butterflies exploded in her stomach.

  The rest of their meal went perfectly. Somehow, the kiss had dispelled all the awkwardness between them, and they fell into their old rhythm. It was so good to have that back—the comfortable baseline but also the push-pull of sexual attraction.

  It wasn’t until they left the restaurant and got into the car—the slight chill to the air prevented Dani from suggesting they walk—that she made her decision.

  Maybe she and Malik had zipped through the early stages of their romance—but that was only because they already knew each other. They’d been friends, close friends, for months, and acquaintances for years. Nobody could say they’d rushed their relationship; it had just switched tracks from friendship to romance. If she truly meant to put her hurt behind her, what was the point of keeping him at arm’s length? He was sorry. He’d made that abundantly clear. He’d also made it clear through his actions that he intended to make it up to her. That he loved her. That he respected her.

  She wanted to be with him. Part of her was scared of being hurt again, sure, and only time would heal that, but… did she have to spend that time apart from him? Wouldn’t she regain her confidence in their relationship much faster if they were together?

  What it came down to was, she was ready to move on with Malik.

  “Let’s go to your place.”

  Malik looked at her searchingly. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. “This idea of starting over was a good one. I needed it. It gave me a chance to really think through what’s happened and what I’m feeling. But I love you. You made a really stupid mistake, and you’re sorry. I’m probably still going to feel insecure for a while, but only time will fix that, and it’s dumb for us to be apart when all I really want is you.”

  He closed his eyes briefly and sighed. “Thank you. I am sorry, I swear, and I’ll do anything you need—everything—to make you confident in us again. If you’d needed to just date for the next year, I was ready to do that. But I’m so glad we don’t have to. I’ve missed you so much.”

  Grinning, Dani pulled him in for a kiss.

  The drive home was short but seemed to last forever. Dani waved at the night shift concierge as they passed, the same one she’d given her key to not that long ago as she’d dragged out her overnight bag with tearstained cheeks. He looked surprised to see her, then grinned broadly.

  They kissed in the elevator all the way up to Malik’s floor, then stumbled into his apartment and left a trail of clothing from the door to the bedroom.

  By the time they made it to the bed, they were both incredibly aroused, breathless, hands roaming, mouths see
king, but despite that, their lovemaking was unhurried. If Dani had thought about it ahead of time, she would have assumed that this first time together again after weeks apart would have been rushed, desperate, but instead, it was about rediscovery.

  The rough silk of his skin under her hands.

  His mouth on her, tormenting her.

  The heat and scent of him, so familiar, so dear.

  As she kissed her way down his body, her hand stroked slowly over his cock, delighting in the soft-over-steel feel of it and Malik’s reactions to her touch. She’d missed this so much.

  “Hello there,” she murmured, and licked the head of his dick.

  Malik hissed. “Don’t, Dani… I’m too close. I want to be inside you when I come.”

  She blinked, surprised, and then a grin spread over her face. “Already?” He’d never lacked stamina before.

  “I’ve missed you,” he admitted, hauling her up to kiss her mouth.

  “Yeah,” she agreed, and their kisses slowly went from gentle and loving to urgent and needy. When Dani realized she was dry-humping his thigh, she tore away and scrambled in the nightstand for a condom. It took her only moments to roll it on him, but the act was so familiar that her body’s reaction was Pavlovian, her arousal skyrocketing.

  His eyes darkened as he felt her wetness on his leg, and he sat up in a smooth motion, his lips finding hers and his hand going to her pussy. Just a light touch of his fingers was enough to have her back arching.

  “Hurry up,” she panted, all thoughts of slow and romantic out the window. A good breeze would make her come right now.

  Grabbing her hips, he maneuvered her to straddle him properly and lowered her onto him. Dani closed her eyes as he slid inside and wrapped her arms and legs around him. Finally.

  Malik rocked back and forth, and although the movement was slight, she was so turned on that it may as well have been full-on thrusting. It took only a few moments before the first tiny tremors began, and then every muscle in her body tightened as she flew over the edge. The sound Malik made as she came around him was indescribable, and then his whole body clenched in her arms.