Delphi Works of Robert E. Howard (Illustrated) (Series Four)

by Robert E. Howard

  But dawg-gone it, it did make me mad not to be able to hit Roach. To date I hadn’t landed a single solid punch. He was a clever boxer in his way, and his style woulda made Dempsey look like a one-armed paperhanger carryin’ a bucket.

  He managed to keep me at long range, and he belted me plenty, but it wasn’t his speed nor his punch that kept me all at sea; it was his cruel and unusual appearance! Dawg-gone — them eyes of his nearly had me batty. I couldn’t keep from looking at ‘em. I tried to watch his waist-line or his feet, but every time my gaze wouldst wander back to his distorted optics. They had a kinda fatal attraction for me. Whilst I wouldst be trying to figure out where they was looking — wham!would come that left winging in from a entirely unexpected direction — and this continued.

  Well, after arising from that knock-down in the third frame, I was infuriated. And after chasing him all around the ring, and getting only another black eye for my pains, I got desperate. With the round half a minute to go, I wowed the audience by closing both my eyes and tearing in, swinging wild and regardless.

  He was pelting me plenty, but I didn’t care; that visage of his wasn’t upsetting all my calculations as long as I couldn’t see it, and in a second I felt my left crash against what I knew to be a human jaw. Instantly the crowd went into hystericals and I opened my eyes and looked for the corpse.

  My eyes rested on a recumbent figure, but it was not Red Roach. To my annoyance I realized that one of my blind swings had connected with the referee. At the same instant Roach’s swinging left crashed against my jaw and I hit the canvas. But even as I went down I swung a wild dying effort right which sunk in just above Red’s waistline. The round ended with all three of us on the canvas.

  Our respective handlers dragged us to our corners, and somebody throwed a bucket of water on the referee, who was able to answer the gong with us battlers by holding on to the ropes.

  Well, as I sat in my corner sniffing the smelling salts and watching Red’s handlers massaging his suffering belly, I thought deeply, a very rare habit of mine while fighting. I do not believe in too much thinking; it gives a fighter the headache. Still and all, with my jaw aching from Red’s left and my eyes getting strained from watching his unholy face, I rubbed the nose Mike stuck into my glove, and meditated. A left-hander is a right-hander backwards. Nine times out of ten his straight right will beat your left jab. If you lead your right to a right-hander, he’ll beat you to the punch with his left; but you can lead your right to a left-hander, because his left has as far to travel as your right.

  So when we come out for the fourth round, instead of tearing in, I went in cautious-like for me, ignoring the yells of the Ruffian’s crew that I was getting scared of their man. Red feinted with his right so clumsy even I knowed it was a feint and instantly shot my right with everything I had behind it. It beat his left swing and landed solid, but high. He staggered and I dropped him to his all fours with a whistling left hook under the heart. He was up at “Nine” and caught me with a wild left swing as I rushed in. It dizzied me but I kept coming, and every time he made a motion with his left I shot my right. Sometimes I landed first and sometimes he did, and sometimes we landed simultaneous, but my smashes had the most kick behind them. Like most port- siders when they’re groggy, he’d clean forgot he had a right hand and was staking everything on his left swing.

  I battered him back across the ring, and he rallied and smashed over a sledge-hammer left hook that rocked me to my heels and made the blood spatter, but I bored right in with a sizzling left hook under the heart. He gasped, his knees buckled, then he steadied hisself and shot over his left just as I crashed in with a right. Bam! Something exploded in my head, and then I heard the referee counting. To my chagrin I found I was on the canvas, but Roach was there too.

  The still weaving and glassy-eyed referee was holding onto the ropes with one hand and counting over us both, but I managed to reel up at “Six!” Me and Red had landed square to the button at just the same second, but my jaw was just naturally tougher than his. He hadn’t twitched at “Ten” and they had to carry him to his dressing room to bring him to.

  Well, a few minutes’ work on me with smelling salts, ammonia, sponges and the like made me as good as new. I couldn’t hardly wait for Bill to dress my cuts with collodion, but the minute I got my clothes on and collected my winnings and bets from the bartender, who’d come to the ring under escort from both ships, I ducked out the back way. I even left Mike with Bill because he’s always scrapping with some other dog on the streets and I was in a big hurry.

  I was on my way to see if Gloria had followed my advice, also something else. One hundred and fifty bucks I won; with what I had that made three hundred. I got a hundred and fifty for the fracas. Altogether I had four hundred and fifty dollars all in greenbacks of large denomination in my jacket pocket. And I was going to give Gloria every cent of it, if she’d take it, so she could go back to New Jersey and the cows. This sure wasn’t no place for a nice girl to be in, and I’ll admit I indulged in some dreams as I hurried along — about the time I’d retire from the sea and maybe go into the dairy farming business in New Jersey.

  I was headed for the Striped Cat, but on my way I passed Salana’s gym, and I noticed that they was a light in one of the small rooms which served as a kind of office. As I passed the door I distinctly heard a voice I knowed was Gloria’s. I stopped short and started to knock on the door, then something made me steal up close and listen — though I ain’t a eavesdropper by nature. From the voices five people was in the room — Gloria, Salana, Abe Gold, Joe Cromwell, and Tony.

  “Don’t hand us no line, sister,” Gold was saying in his nasty rasping voice. “You said leave it to you. Yeah, we did! And look what it got us! You was goin’ to keep Costigan outa the way, so’s we could run Tony in at the last minute. You know the promoter at the American was all set to match Tony with Roach when Costigan’s ship docked and the big cheese changed his mind and matched the Mick instead, because the fool sailors wanted the scrap.

  “Roach woulda been a spread for Tony, because the wop eats these port- siders up. The town sports know that, and they woulda sunk heavy on Tony. We was goin’ to bet our shirts on Roach, and Tony would flop along about the third. Then we coulda all left this dump and gone to Australia.

  “Well, we left it up to you to get rid of Costigan. And what does he do, I ask you? He walks in as big as you please, just when Tony was fixing to go in for him. I ask you!”

  “Well, don’t rag me,” said Gloria in a voice which startled me, it was that hard, “I did my best. I got hold of a Swede aboard the Sea Girl and primed the big stiff proper. I stirred him up and sent him down to climb Costigan, thinking he’d bung the mick up so he couldn’t come on tonight, or that Costigan would at least break his hands on him.

  “But the harp flattened him without even spraining a thumb, and the first thing I knew, he was waiting for me outside the cabaret. I thought he’d come to smack me down for sicking the Swede on him, but the big slob had just come to tell me the square-head couldn’t keep his date. Can you feature that? Well, he fell for me right off, naturally, and I got him into the gym here, intending to lay him cold and lock him up till after the fight. But say! That big mick must have a skull made of reinforced battleship steel! I shattered a five-pound Indian club over his dome without even making him bat his eyes!

  “Well, I hope I never have a half-minute like that again! When I failed to even stagger him with that clout, I thought I was a gone goose! I had visions of him twisting my head off and feeding it to that ugly cannibal he calls his bulldog.

  “But you can’t tell about those tough looking sluggers like him. He didn’t even offer to lay a hand on me, and when I got my second wind, I spun him a yarn about having a kid brother that needed this fight to get back home. He fell for it so easy that I thought I could coax him to run out on his own accord, but he balked there. All he’d do was to advise me to bet on him, and then all at once he said it was time for him
to be at the stadium, and he busted right out through the door and took it on the lam, making some crack about coming back after the fight.”

  “A fine mess you’ve made!” sneered Salana. “You’ve gummed things up proper! We had everything set for a killing—”

  “A high class brand of sports you are!” she snapped. “I’m ashamed to be seen with you, you cheap grafters! A big killing! You don’t know what one is. Anyway, what do you want me to do, cry?”

  “We want you to give back that hundred we paid you in advance,” snarled Salana, “and if you don’t, you’ll cry plenty.”

  “And I guess you think I risk my life for such cheap welchers as you for nothing?” she sneered. “Not one cent—”

  There was the sound of a blow and Gloria give a short, sharp cry which was cut short in a sort of gasp.

  “Give her the works, Joe,” Salana snarled. “You can’t cross me, you little — !”

  Never mind what he called her. I’d have half killed him for that alone. I tore the door clean off the hinges as I went through it, and I seen a sight that made a red mist wave in front of me so everything in that room looked bloody and grim.

  Salana had Gloria down on a chair and was twisting both her arms up behind her back till it looked like they’d break. Joe Cromwell had the fingers of his left hand sunk deep in her white throat and his right drawed back to smash in her face. Tony and Abe Gold was looking on with callous, contemptuous sneers.

  They all turned to look as the door crashed in, and I saw Salana go white as I give one roar and went into action. He turned loose of the girl, but before he could get his hands up, I crashed him with a left-hander that crushed his nose and knocked out four teeth, and my next smash tore Joe Cromwell’s ear loose and left it hanging by a shred. Another of the same sort stood him on his head in a corner with a cracked jaw-bone, and almost simultaneous Abe Gold barely missed me with a pair of brass knuckles, and Tony landed hard on my ear. But I straightened with a right-hander that dropped Gold across Salana with three broken ribs, and missed a left swing that wouldst of decapitated Tony hadst it landed.

  I ain’t one of these fellows which has to be crazy mad to put up a good fight, but when I am crazy mad, they’s no limit to the destruction I can hand out. Maybe in the ring, under ordinary circumstances, Tony could of cut me to ribbons, but here he never had a chance. I didn’t even feel the punches he was raining on me, and after missing a flock of swings in a row, I landed under his jaw with a hay-making right-hander that I brought up from the floor. Tony turned a complete somersault in the air, and when he come down his head hit the wall with a force that laid his scalp open and wouldst of knocked him cold, if he hadn’t already been unconscious before he landed.

  Maybe a minute and a half after I busted through the door, I stood alone in the middle of the carnage, panting and glaring down at the four silent figures which littered the room. All I craved was for all the other yeggs in Honolulu to come busting in. Pretty soon I looked around for Gloria and saw her cringing in a corner like she was trying to flatten herself out against the wall. She was white-faced and her eyes was blazing with terror.

  She give a kind of hunted cry when I looked at her. “Don’t! Please, don’t!”

  “Please don’t what?” I snapped in some irritation. “Ain’t you learned by this time that I don’t clout frails? I come in here to rescue you from these gypes, and you insult me!”

  “Forgive me,” she begged. “I can’t help but be a little afraid of you — you look so much like a gorilla—”

  “What!”

  “I mean you’re such a terrible fighter,” she hastily amended. “Come on — let’s get out of here before these welchers come to.”

  “Would that they wouldst,” I brooded. “What I done to ’em was just a sample of what I’m goin’ to do to ‘em. Dawg-gone it, some of these days somebody’s goin’ to upset my temper, then I’ll lose control of myself and hurt somebody.”

  Well, we went out on the street, which was mostly deserted and rather dimly lighted, and Gloria said pretty soon: “Thank you for rescuing me. If my brother had been there—”

  “Gloria,” I said wearily, “ain’t you ever goin’ to stop lyin’? I was outside the door and heard it all.”

  “Oh,” said she.

  “Well,” I said, “I reckon I’m a fool when it comes to women. I thought I was stuck on you, and didn’t have sense enough to know you was stringin’ me. Why, I even brung the four hundred and fifty bucks I won, intendin’ to give it to you.”

  And so saying I threw out the wad of bills, waved it reproachfully in front of her eyes and replaced it in my jacket pocket. All at once she started crying.

  “Oh, Steve, you make me ashamed of myself! You’re so fine and noble—”

  “Well,” I said with my quiet dignity, “I know it, but I can’t help it. It’s just my nature.”

  “I’m so ashamed,” she sobbed. “There’s no use lying; Salana paid me a hundred dollars to get you out of the way. But, Steve, I’m changing my ways right here! I’m not asking you to forgive me, because I guess it’s too much to ask, and you’ve done enough for me. But I’m going home tomorrow. That stuff I told you about the dairy farm in New Jersey was the only thing I told you that wasn’t a lie. I’m going home and live straight, and I want to kiss you, just once, because you’ve showed me the error of my ways.”

  And so saying, she threw her arms around me and kissed me vigorously — and me not objectin’ in no manner.

  “I’m going back to the old, pure simple life,” she said. “Back to the green meadows and babbling cows!”

  And she made off down the street at a surprising rate of speed. I watched her go and a warm glow spread over me. After all, I thought, I do know women, and the hardest of them is softened by the influence of a strong, honest, manly heart like mine.

  She vanished around a corner and I turned back toward the Hibernian Bar, at the same time reaching for my bank roll. Then I give a yell that woke up everybody in that section of Honolulu with cold sweat standing out on them. Now I knowed why she wanted to put her arms around me. My money was gone! She loved me — she loved me not!

  * * *

  CHAMP OF THE FORECASTLE; OR, CHAMP OF THE SEVEN SEAS

  First published in Fight Stories, November 1930. Also published as “The Champion Of The Forecastle” and “Champ Of The Seven Seas”

  I DON’T have to have a man tell me he craves war. I can tell it by the set of his jaw, the glare in his eyes. So, when Sven Larson raised his huge frame on his bunk and accused me of swiping his tobaccer, I knowed very well what his idee was. But I didn’t want to fight Sven. Havin’ licked the big cheese three or four times already, I seen no need in mauling him any more. So somewhat to the surprise of the rest of the crew, I said:

  “Sven, that’s purty crude. You didn’t need to think up no lie to pick a fight with me. I know you crave to be champion of the Sea Girl, but they ain’t a chance, and I don’t want to hurt you—”

  I got no further, because with a bull’s beller he heaved hisself offa his bunk and come for me like a wild man. Gosh, what a familiar scene that was — the fierce, hard faces ringing us, the rough bunks along the wall, the dim light of the lantern swinging overhead, and me standing in the middle, barefooted and stripped to the waist, holding my only title against all comers! They ain’t a inch of that forecastle floor that I ain’t reddened with my blood. They ain’t a edge of a upper bunk that I ain’t had my head smashed against. And since I been a man grown they ain’t a sailor on the Seven Seas that can say he stood up to me in that forecastle and beat me down.

  The lurching of the ship and the unsteady footing don’t bother me none, nor the close space and foul, smoke-laden air. That’s my element, and if I couldst fight in the ring like I can in the forecastle, with nothing barred, I’d be champion of something besides a tramp wind-jammer.

  Well, Sven come at me with his old style — straight up, wide open, with a wild swinging right. I ducke
d inside it and smashed my left under his heart, following instantly with a blasting right hook to the jaw as he sagged. He started falling and a lurch of the ship throwed him half under a opposite bunk. They’s no mercy ast, give or expected in a forecastle fight; it’s always to the finish. I was right after him, and no sooner hadst he got to his feet than I smashed him down again before he could get his hands up.

  “Let’s call it a day, Sven,” I growled. “I don’t want to punch you no more.”

  But he come weaving up, spitting blood and roaring in his own tongue. He tried to clinch and gouge, but another right hook to the jaw sent him down and out. I shook the sweat outa my eyes and glared down at him in some irritation, which was mixed with the satisfaction of knowing that again I hadst proved my right to the title of champion of the toughest ship afloat. Maybe you think that’s a mighty small thing, but it’s the only title I got and I’m proud of it.

  But I couldn’t get onto Sven. Me and him was good friends ordinarily, but ever so often he’d get the idee he couldst lick me. So the next day I looked him up between watches and found him sulking and brooding. I looked over his enormous frame and shook my head in wonder to think that I hadst gotten no further in the legitimate ring than I have, when I can lay out such incredible monsters as Sven so easy.

  Six feet four he was in his socks, and his two hundred and forty-five pounds was all muscle. I can bend coins between my fingers, tear up decks of cards and twist horseshoes in two, but Sven’s so much stronger’n me they’s no comparison. But size and strength ain’t everything.

  “Sven,” said I, “how come you forever got to be fightin’ me?”

  Well, at first he wouldn’t say, but at last it come out.

  “Aye bane got girl at Stockholm. She bane like me purty good, but they bane another faller. His name bane Olaf Ericson and he own fishing smack. Always when Aye go out with my girl, he bane yump on me and he always lick me. Aye tank if Aye ever lick you, Aye can lick Olaf.”