Scarred (Bullied Book 5) (Bullied Series)

by Vera Hollins

  No one said anything, but I saw it all on their faces—pity and sympathy. Marcus scratched his neck, as if he’d figured out he’d asked the wrong question and was regretting it.

  I curled my fingers around my fork tightly, keeping the cheerful expression on my face to hide my dark interior. I hated that they treated me differently now that Steven was gone. I didn’t need their pity. I didn’t need them to walk on eggshells around me. I wasn’t going to wither away or have a breakdown. I wasn’t a victim. I was Melissa Brooks—a fighter and a survivor—and no matter what, I would always survive. Forget about galloping into the sunset. If there was anything worse than going to prom, it was not going to prom and having them all see me as some weakling. No, thank you.

  I could move on. I would be perfectly fine. Maybe not now, but I would be, sooner or later.

  “I’m sure I’ll find something,” I added nonchalantly.

  “Yeah, a trash bag,” Masen said. “Just make sure it covers your face.”

  He looked at me in a way that was I guessed was meant to be condescending, but I noticed a hint of something else beneath it. He knew how I felt. I’d told him I didn’t need to be treated differently just because Steven was gone, and he’d taken me at my word—he wasn’t treating me like something easily breakable. It was almost like a breath of normalcy along this crazy route my life had taken, and for the first time ever, I felt thankful toward him, as weird as that seemed.

  Who would have thought? Me feeling thankful toward that bag of germs? The apocalypse must be upon us.

  “You first,” I replied, using one of his comebacks, but the words had no strength behind them, and he knew it.

  He smirked for a split second, but the smirk was all gone when he dug into his food, and it was as though we’d reached a silent agreement.

  Yes, my life was definitely taking a crazy route.

  The council meeting after school dragged on, and then I had to stay after that and hang anti-bullying posters in the hallways. It was a part of my campaign on equal treatment for all and respecting differences, and I was glad it had garnered some attention, seeing as how some students were posting about it on social media and spreading positive messages.

  By the time I got out of school, the parking lot was empty, save for a few cars, one of which was Masen’s. He stood next to it, and he wasn’t alone. He was surrounded by three older guys dressed completely in black and looking hostile.

  My pulse quickened. I didn’t need CIA superspy skills to know they were from the gang. I’d seen them more than enough times to be able to recognize them on the spot. They were arguing with Masen, and they were so into their argument they didn’t even notice me.

  I tiptoed closer to hear them.

  “You will not race,” one of them told Masen.

  Masen jutted out his chin and folded his arms across his chest, his legs apart. “And I already told you, I don’t give a fuck what you want.”

  A bald guy, who appeared to be their leader, got in his face. “You’re playing with fire. There’s a lot of money in the game, so we won’t be taking any chances.”

  “Then race me, win, and get that money,” Masen said with a sinister smile. “Or are you afraid you’re going to lose?”

  “You’re the one who should be afraid of losing,” one of the other guys said. “Losing your head, that is.”

  Masen snorted. “Is that the best you got? Empty threats? Bring it on, then.”

  My stomach clenched with sudden anxiety. Something told me those hadn’t been empty threats and he was going to get it if he wasn’t more careful. They all took a menacing step closer to him and cornered him against his car, about to strike. A strange fear gripped me, and I moved without thinking.

  “I really hope you’re not so stupid to do that here, with all the cameras around us,” I called as I stopped behind them, making sure the trembling didn’t show in my voice.

  They turned to look at me. I motioned with my hand to the said cameras. “I get that you want to beat him, believe me, I want to do it every single day, but I suggest you do it somewhere where you won’t—I don’t know, get caught?”

  They looked at each other and then back at me, probably wondering if I was for real. My nerves danced to a quicker tune.

  I grinned. “But if you do decide to make sausages out of him here, do tell me, so I can go grab some popcorn and watch.”

  Baldy frowned at me. “Who the fuck are you?”

  I smiled pleasantly at him. “Mary Sue, nice to meet you.”

  His nostrils flared, and I could almost see my whole life passing before my eyes. I curled my hands into fists as adrenaline and fear pushed through my veins, on high alert and ready to duck if he swung his fist at me.

  He sized me up and opened his mouth to say something, but then he closed it. Deciding I wasn’t worth it, he flexed his jaw and redirected his scowl at Masen.

  “Consider this your only warning. You don’t want us messing you up.” He glanced at Masen’s car. “Or your car,” he added ominously as he stepped away. I almost sighed in relief. Almost.

  “Let’s go,” Baldy said to his pack of obedient puppies. He headed for the black SUV parked facing the wrong way nearby. They got in the car and left, making sure they made as much noise and smoke as possible on their way out of the parking lot.

  I let out a small sigh, my legs feeling weak. My heart was starting to slow down only now.

  Shit. I’d actually helped Masen Brown. I’d interfered with something that was none of my business and gone against gangsters. Did that make me an idiot, or did that make me an idiot?

  I turned and looked at Masen. He was still standing next to his car, watching me silently with eyes so blue and piercing that it felt as though he could see all the way through me. My stomach did another one of those annoying flips.

  “You’re an idiot for sticking your nose into this.” His expression was stony. “It’s like you want them to disfigure you.”

  “Right now, what I want is to disfigure you, you ungrateful imbecile.” I turned on my heel and headed to my car on the other side of the parking lot.

  I shouldn’t have been surprised by his reaction, because I didn’t really believe he understood the concept of gratitude in the first place. Besides, I agreed with him. I was an utter idiot.

  I opened my backpack and reached for my key fob.

  “Satan,” he shouted. I frowned and looked at him over my shoulder. “Thank you.”

  My jaw dropped all the way down to the concrete. I’d never thought I’d get to hear those words from him. His face contorted in a grimace, telling me this was probably one of the hardest things he’d had to do and he wasn’t happy about it at all.

  That, somehow, pleased me a lot.

  Let’s make it harder for him.

  Instead of accepting his thanks, I just got into my car and drove away, completely ignoring him.

  Eli and I had decided he should come to my place for a change on Wednesday. I was supposed to drive their minivan, but Masen had insisted he drive it instead since he was free after school. It was like he’d expected me to drive the minivan off the nearest hill, not trusting me with his brother at all.

  Eli texted me when they arrived, and I left The Hobbit on the sofa, heading out to meet them. Masen was pulling Eli’s power wheelchair out of the minivan as I came out, with his back turned to me. I glanced down his body, which was clad in stonewashed jeans and a white shirt that showcased his rippled back muscles, and something clenched inside me.

  I tore my gaze away, realizing I was actually ogling. Eww, eww, eww. There was nothing there to ogle. Absolutely nothing.

  I skipped to the passenger side of the minivan and knocked on Eli’s window, waving at him with a grin. He responded with a super-radiant smile, which was even bigger progress, and pressed the button to open his door.

  “Hey, General Awesome.” He saluted me.

  “Good day to you, General Fabulous! Welcome to my castle.” I motioned with
my hand to the house that might as well have been a castle. We just needed suits of armor in our hallways to complete the look.

  He looked at the house with yearning and a bit of envy. “I can’t believe you actually live here. I wish I could live in a place like yours, too.”

  My stomach dropped, but I kept my smile in place. Once more, I felt like the house was too much. It was a castle for sure when compared to Eli’s place, and also completely extra. I saw Masen looking at me out of the corner of my eye, but I ignored him.

  “According to my super-secret sources that come from the future, you’ll have a house twice as big as this one! You’ll even have a way bigger greenhouse!”

  Eli’s eyes widened. “You have a greenhouse?”

  I nodded. “Yep. And . . .” I leaned in to whisper conspiratorially. “It’s magical.”

  Masen’s snort was barely audible, but I heard it. I glared at him and sneered at the sardonic smile on his face. I would flip him off if only Eli weren’t here.

  “Let’s go, champ,” Masen told him and picked him up from his seat to transfer him to his wheelchair.

  I observed them with a constricted throat. I was strangely moved by the sight, but also stunned by the expression on Masen’s face. It was a blend of tenderness and love, undiluted by the smugness he showcased at school, and it touched something in me. It reminded me again of the long-lost bond I’d shared with Steven.

  I pursed my lips together. Why did he have to be such a good brother? Why couldn’t he be some devil who was capable of throwing his brother into the first ditch he saw if he needed to? I didn’t need reasons not to hate him entirely 100%.

  I didn’t need reasons to hate myself more for losing that bond I’d had with my brother.

  “How is the greenhouse magical?” Eli asked me when he was settled into his chair and drove it next to me.

  I started for the front door. “It has flowers that will grant you eternal life if you eat them. Then there are those that will give you eternal beauty. And . . .” I raised my finger in the air and looked at him pointedly. “Hundreds of golden butterflies illuminate their magical petals in the darkness of the night.”

  Masen’s stare told me he was going to call a mental institution any moment now. Eli, on the other hand, watched me wistfully.

  “Are there flowers that can make me walk again?”

  A pang hit my chest. I glanced at Masen over Eli’s head and caught the slice of hurt in his eyes before he turned his head away from me.

  I met Eli’s hopeful gaze, wishing fantasy were real. I wished it could come out of all those books I’d devoured and transform his life into a happy fairy tale. Preferably with some princess and a bunch of talking animals, Disney style. “Sure, buddy. They can make you walk . . . but only on the moon.” I winked at him, and he giggled.

  Masen snorted again. I glared at him, but instead of derision, I found a small, sincere smile that disappeared the moment he saw me look at him. Now, what was that about?

  He cast me another one of his awful smirks. “You’ve been reading too many fantasy books.”

  I gave him a deadpan look. “Of course I have. That’s my most favorite genre.”

  He raised his eyebrows at me, and only now I saw my mistake. I’d revealed something about myself to him. Shit.

  “Fantasy is my most favorite genre too,” Eli said. “But Mace hates it. He thinks fantasy is for children.”

  It was my turn to snort. “Really?” I asked him. “Why am I not surprised?”

  Masen didn’t even blink. “Horror is where all the fun is at.”

  My mouth formed O. “You read? Impossible.”

  He rolled his eyes at me. “I don’t read. I was talking about movies.”

  I scoffed, but then fresh pain came to taunt me because this reminded me of Steven. Steven also hadn’t liked books but had loved horror movies. Steven and I had used to watch them all the time when we were kids, hiding it from our parents because they hadn’t thought we were old enough to watch them. We’d even competed over who was going to scare each other more afterward.

  “Of course you were,” I muttered. “I’d be surprised if you could read beyond elementary school level. It’s no wonder your grades are so bad.”

  “You’ve got me all figured out. Because grades are the only indicator of someone’s potential or worth.” He rolled his eyes as he stepped behind Eli’s wheelchair. He pushed him over the raised threshold, helping him enter the house.

  “Thanks, Mace,” Eli said and continued forward on his own, taking in the hall. “Wow. This place is amazing.” His eyes were like saucers as he went around and studied everything.

  I opened my mouth to answer him, but Masen stepped too close to me once again. Goosebumps broke out all over my skin.

  I glared at him as I took a giant step to the side. “What are you doing, you dimwit? Stay away from me.”

  He closed the distance between us once more and leaned close to my ear. “Don’t tell him what you saw in the parking lot,” he whispered, his warm breath rolling over my skin in a tantalizing wave.

  I tried to swallow, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even move. Why wasn’t I feeling fear? At this point, I almost preferred it. It was familiar, and I knew how to deal with it. I didn’t know how to deal with the lack of it.

  “I won’t tell him if you stay the hell away from me,” I gritted through my teeth. My eyes were fixed on Eli, who was studying one of Mom’s paintings, which hung on the wall next to the stairs.

  I could feel him smile. “Why? Am I affecting you that much?”

  My fist twitched. “No. I just don’t want to end up in jail after what I’d do to you if you don’t move away.”

  He pulled away with a chuckle. “I’m tempted to let you do it, because you ought to be locked away. You’re a danger to society.”

  “Motherf—” I started saying aloud, but then I remembered I should tone it down in front of Eli. “—lover,” I finished weakly.

  Masen smirked. “You see? I am affecting you that much. Be careful, or you’ll get an ulcer.”

  I curled my lip at him. “Will you leave already? I’m sure there are plenty of girls out there who are more than willing to listen to your yapping. Shoo!”

  He left at last, but not before he fired off quick instructions at me—don’t give him sweets or regular snacks; use the organic snacks in Eli’s backpack; make sure he doesn’t overheat; call his doctor immediately if anything happens; call me if I need to come for him earlier; blah, blah, and more blah. I sighed in relief once he was gone. I felt edgier than ever next to him, and I needed him gone from my mind and preferably from this planet, too.

  I went to grab Steven’s PS4 so Eli and I could play Uncharted 4, girding myself against grief as I stepped into his room. It was too empty, and the silence was haunting. I didn’t allow myself to spend more time here than necessary, focusing on the present instead of the past as I collected the console and one of the controllers.

  Back in the living room, I placed the PS4 below a wall-mounted flatscreen TV that could almost set a Guinness World Record for its monstrous size. I took Eli’s controller out of the backpack mounted to the back of his wheelchair and connected it to the console.

  “I didn’t know you had The Hobbit.” Eli pointed at it on the sofa, where I’d left it earlier.

  “Yep. Wanna see it?” He nodded, and I placed the book on his lap.

  “I always wanted to read it.”

  “I have only fifty pages left, so I can lend it to you if you want when I finish it.”

  He met my gaze with a grin. “Really? Thank you.” He looked at the cover, not moving to open the book.

  “Can you open it?” I shifted on my feet. This was one of those moments when I didn’t know if I should offer him more help, or any help at all. “If you want, I can help.”

  He gave me a small smile. “No need. I can do it. I was just studying the cover. And just so you know, you don’t have to ask me if I need help. I’ll te
ll you myself if I need any.”

  I smiled. “You’re reading my mind. Duly noted.”

  He hooked his thumb under the hardcover and flipped it open. His brow creased when his gaze landed on Mateo’s birthday dedication on the front page. “It’s . . . it was your birthday? On the sixteenth?” I could see the moment he realized Steven’s funeral had been on my birthday.

  I looked away, my throat growing thick. “Yep.”

  He didn’t say anything for a long time, and finally I met his gaze. He smiled. “Then I have to get you something.”

  His words gave a jolt to my heart. They were a balm to the wound that had grown enormous when Steven left.

  I pressed my hand against my chest and raised my chin up high. “No need, really. I’ve already received tons of gifts this year, and my room is cram-full with them! Seriously, there’s not a free inch left. I have to sleep in the hallway!”

  He giggled. “Still, there must be something you want. Tell me.”

  I want my brother back. “I want your unconditional loyalty and readiness to fight for me when I call you to join the war against the zombies.”

  “Yes, sir!” He saluted me, growing all serious before bursting into chuckles.

  I sat on the floor, and he stopped his wheelchair next to me. “You play first.” I handed him his controller. “You’re smiling much more now, General Fabulous. You’re becoming a real social butterfly.”

  He loaded the game, his cheeks growing red. “You think?”

  “Yeah. You don’t get all shy one hundred percent of the time anymore. It’s more like ninety-nine percent, but it’s still progress.”

  He chuckled.

  “You see what I’m talking about? Those chuckles. I swear, you’ll have girls swooning all over you. Just you wait!”

  “You think?” he repeated, growing even more shy.

  I nodded vigorously. “I’ll tell you the biggest secret of the universe—chicks dig nice guys!” I winked at him. “You can thank me later.”

  “If you say so.” He focused on the screen. Now that I thought about it, he would definitely attract girls’ attention, if only he got out of his house more often.