ROCKED BY GRACE (LOVE AND CHAOS SERIES Book 1)

by M. J. Schiller

  “Stop!” I screamed, a sob choking my voice. I jerked and got my arm partially free, the one I was shielding Jamie with. I brought my hand up between us and tried to push against his chest. He laughed harder.

  “Leave her alone!” Jamie shoved Brad’s side, knocking him off balance a little.

  “What the fuck?” He took his attention from me and raised his arm to Jamie.

  I took advantage of the distraction and wrestled my arm free and before he could do anything to Jamie I slapped Brad as hard as I could. His head jerked to the side, his hair, which he usually combed back, fell into his eyes. He spit then turned to me, shaking stray strands out of his face. “You’ll pay for that.”

  Male voices came from the street above and we all froze. The policemen were involved in an animated conversation, walking our way. Brad released me and gave me a shove. I stumbled backward and fell on my butt.

  He spit at me, but missed. “I’m not done.”

  Propping myself on my elbows, I watched Brad jog away between flowering red buds.

  “Jamie! Jamie!” I sprang to my feet and looked him over. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes. I’m all right. You’re the one who fell on her butt.”

  I clutched him to my chest and kissed his hair as I fought back the tears that seemed to come out of nowhere. Lifting my head, I scanned the area again. The policemen were still talking, getting into their car. Brad was a speck in the distance.

  “Jamie, Jamie, let’s go.” I gathered our things, my hands shaking.

  “But you said we could fish.”

  “Jamie, we have to go,” I barked. I had the bait box and the rod. Was there anything else?

  “You shouldn’t yell at me.” He sounded like he was about to cry.

  Struck with remorse, I fell to my knees in front of him, taking his arms. “Oh, no, buddy. I—” I took a breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right. But…I don’t feel good. We have to go home.”

  “Okay,” he said doubtfully.

  I rose. “Come on.” Walking in the opposite direction from which Brad left, I moved as quickly as I could, throwing fearful glances over my shoulder. I had to make sure Brad wasn’t following us back to our place.

  “Does your stomach hurt?”

  For a second, I didn’t understand why he was asking me that. “Oh, yeah. My stomach hurts.” It wasn’t really a lie.

  “Was it because Brad pushed you?”

  I looked at him. He remembers Brad? That was four years ago. Or did he overhear me use his name? Despite Jamie’s diminished mental capacities, he was often sharp, even seeing and understanding things other people without his difficulties missed. The doctor told me it was to be expected. The brain was a complex machine. And, as my bad sleep attested to, Brad was a hard person to forget.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Zane

  Al stormed into the snack room where the band was gathered waiting until it was time to go on. “I found her.”

  I was leaning back, my chair on two legs. I let the front drop with a bang. “What? Where?”

  Dex frowned. “Were we missing somebody?”

  Rafe was on his laptop. “You’re still searching for her?”

  “Were,” Al said with a grin. “I found her.”

  “How?” Jericho and I said together.

  Al waved an iPad. “Through the magic of the Internet.”

  He slammed it on the table in front of me, looking smug.

  “Someone uploaded this to YouTube?”

  “Oh. The girl. Grace.” Dex finally caught on. He and Jericho hovered behind me, peering over my shoulder.

  “Sixty-four somebodies. They have single songs, parts of songs…some even recorded the whole time she was on stage.”

  “Make that sixty-five. Someone loaded another one a few seconds ago.”

  Jericho abandoned the small screen and circled the table to watch the video on Rafe’s laptop. “Hey, this is pretty good footage.”

  “What part are you watching?” Rafe asked, not looking away from the screen.

  I stirred. “Uhh, when we sang ‘Don’t Fade Away.’”

  “We’ve got ‘Duality.’”

  “No way.” Dex joined the other two. “Let me see.” He chuckled. “Man, that girl could dance.”

  My heart was racing. I gave up hope of ever finding her again. I wanted to see her, if only to apologize for…whatever I did wrong. “Where’s ‘Duality’?”

  Jericho lifted his head. “Third one down. The one titled ‘Grace in Action.’” A few seconds later, he pointed at the screen. “Here comes the kiss.”

  “Holy shit! It’s even hotter close-up,” Rafe commented over Jericho’s whistle.

  Jericho grinned at me. “I need a cigarette.”

  “Hell, I need a cold shower.” Dex bent back over Rafe’s shoulder. “Show it again.”

  “Shit. You’d think you guys were a bunch of sex-starved teenagers rather than guys who are getting laid every night.”

  “Uh-oh,” Jericho quipped. “Someone’s getting crabby.”

  “Shut up,” I growled. Seeing her again, even like this, was filling me with need. Besides, “The Kiss” was about to take place. It was weird watching myself kiss someone.

  Rafe peered over his laptop. “Look at his face. He’s watching ‘The Kiss.’”

  “Shut up.”

  He wouldn’t let it go. “He is, isn’t he?” Dex raced around the table, but Al was already bobbing his head yes.

  “Man, she’s got a nice ass.”

  I bit my tongue.

  If he doesn’t stop talking about her like that, I’m gonna fucking bash his brains in.

  I focused in on what happened after the kiss, to see if it provided any answers to why she ran off, but it clarified nothing.

  From across the table came the hiss of whispering followed by someone clearing their throat. I glanced over. Rafe and Jericho were smiling.

  “Umm…Dex?” Rafe leaned back in his chair. “Take it from a seasoned band member—see that vein throbbing in Zane’s neck? Well, if you don’t stop talking about her like that, he’s gonna bash your skull in.”

  I turned slowly to eye Dex.

  “Oh, yeah?” His gaze darted to Jericho and Rafe. They nodded. He turned to me. “Uhh…sorry. I didn’t understand.”

  “There’s nothing to understand,” I said evenly. “We should just maybe clean up our language around here.”

  Jericho and Rafe busted out. “Well, that ain’t gonna happen.”

  Dex chuckled nervously. I swung to Al.

  “So, we have the video. How does that tell us where she is exactly?”

  “Oh. It doesn’t.” He grinned. “But the comments do.”

  I turned to peer at the screen. The first few comments were lewd suggestions that had my jaw tightening again, but the third was from Al Connors asking if anyone knew who Grace was. Jericho and Rafe must have been reading, too, because Jericho asked, “So your last name is Connors?”

  “Yep. That’s me.”

  I scrolled down. “How many of these videos did you comment on?”

  “All sixty-four of them. The only one I didn’t comment on is the one that just came up.”

  “Two,” Jericho commented. “We’re at sixty-six. And check out those views. Good God.”

  Rafe twisted his head to stare at Dex, who had crept back to their side of the table. “Unless those are all Dex here.”

  Dex held his hands in the air, looking at me. “They aren’t man. I swear.” He knocked Rafe’s arm and said under his breath. “Shut up. You wanna get my ass kicked?”

  I narrowed my gaze then returned my attention to the screen. “There are hundreds of comments here. Which video had the information on her?”

  “Oh,” Al bent closer to his iPad. “It’s number thirteen. Title’s ‘The Kiss’.”

  “I wish everyone would quit calling it that. It was only a kiss,” I muttered.

  “Dude, if it was only a kiss, you wouldn’t be sitting here
watching it,” Rafe pointed out. The other two chuckled.

  I frowned. “Don’t you guys have somewhere to go?”

  “I don’t,” Rafe turned to the others. “Do you guys?”

  “Nah. I’m completely open right now,” Jericho said with a grin.

  “Me, too,” Dex added.

  “You’re all enjoying this, aren’t you?”

  “Yep.” Again Rafe looked to the bandmates behind him.

  Jericho crossed his arms. “I’m finding it very entertaining.”

  They glanced at Dex. He was bending close to the screen, watching the video again. He jumped. “Huh? Oh.” He threw up his hands. “I plead the fifth, man.”

  “You’re a pack of assholes, you know that?”

  My screen made a whirring noise and went blank. “What the hell? What happened?”

  “Oh, shit. Battery must be dead.”

  “Rafe, can I see yours?”

  “What? You want to borrow this asshole’s laptop?”

  I reached and slid the computer over. “Knock it off and let me see this.” There were a few more rumbles of laugher from the others, but I tuned them out, finding the video in question and scrolling through the comments.

  “Good thing break begins tomorrow so you can go make your—” Rafe made air quotes. “—‘apology.’”

  “Yeah.” Jericho elbowed Dex. “But make sure someone’s filming it for Dex here.”

  I picked up a half Oreo and zinged it at him, catching him on the arm. “Ouch! Touchy, touchy.”

  “Can’t you guys go find something to do?”

  Rafe pushed away from the table. “Come on, guys. Let’s leave him alone and go get the shots ready.” They filed out, Jericho making kissing noises as he passed. I knew they were only having fun teasing me but, one, I didn’t like being the center of attention and two, I was uncomfortable with how much I did want to see Grace. It was so unlike me.

  “Jefferson City, here I come,” I said in a low voice, clicking on another video.

  I wandered into Flowers by Grace wearing a black leather jacket, ball cap, and shades. Bells jingled over the door.

  My heart stopped when she looked over. “I’ll be right with you, sir.” Then she gave me that wonderful smile.

  I cleared my throat, speaking in a low register. “No problem.”

  Pretending to examine a display, I gazed beyond it at her as she helped a customer. Guy seemed to fawn over her. And who could blame him? She looked good. She was wearing a black sundress with big pink and red roses on it. It had wide straps and a collar and buttoned in the front. Her hair was in a high ponytail. They moved my way, so I shifted to keep the display between us. I got a better view of the guy. He was probably all of seventeen.

  I snorted.

  Probably using his paper route money to pay for whatever it is he’s buying.

  “Well, I sure appreciate your help. I know my mom will love them.”

  She was working the register, not paying attention to the guy. “I’m glad I could be of service.”

  The kid wasn’t taking his eyes off her. I grabbed the first bouquet of flowers I could find and walked up behind him. She gave him the total and he got money out. Peeking over his shoulder, I saw the kid had a condom pack in with his bills. He handed her some money. “I’ll probably be in next week, too. It’s her birthday.”

  Yeah. Sure it is. I’d put money on those being for some girl and he’s not telling Grace so she thinks he’s available. Like she gives a fuck.

  I not so subtly set my flowers on the counter, crowding the kid. Grace gave the kid his change, glancing in my direction. I dropped my head. “You have a nice week, Jimmy.”

  “Sure thing, Grace.”

  Get your ass out of here, kid. The adults need to talk.

  I turned and watched until he was out the door.

  “I’m so sorry for your wait, sir. I see you found what you needed?”

  I spun back slowly, taking my glasses off. “Yeah. I sure did.” I took pleasure in the way she jumped. I was pissed at her for all the hell I went through in the last several days when I was thinking about her nonstop.

  “Wh-what are you doing here?”

  I sneered. “Buying flowers. And they damned well aren’t for my mother. They’re for a woman.”

  “Oh, okay.” Her gaze darted around, looking at anything but me. “Oh, I should ring you up, that’s what I should do,” she muttered to herself.

  I intended it to be a stab at her, but the tears in her eyes, and the way her hands were shaking made my heart sting. I lowered my head to gather myself. Suddenly unsure of my purpose. I thought about the sleepless nights I had lain in bed, fantasizing about her and thinking about the stricken expression on her face when I kissed her, and thinking about how that kiss made me feel.

  “Umm…that’s sixteen forty-three…sixteen thirty-four. I’m sorry. I mixed the….” She let her voice trail off. I noticed about three-quarters of the inside of her right arm was scarred. So she wasn’t perfect after all. But it didn’t matter.

  I reached into my pocket for my wallet and gave her a twenty. I had to think of something to say to her. She fumbled giving me the change and our hands touched for a second. She whipped hers back as if burnt. “Uhh…sorry about that,” she tried to say lightly. “Uhh…would you like a bag for those so they don’t drip?”

  I exhaled, stuffing the money in my coat pocket. “Yeah. Give me a damned bag.” The transaction was almost over. I needed to say something.

  “Okay,” she returned stiffly, taking the bouquet off the counter to put it in some clear plastic sleeve. She sniffed. “Can I do anything else for you?”

  I stared at her wondering why she evoked such strong feelings in me. “No. There’s clearly nothing else you can do for me.” I turned to leave, but stopped and whirled back. “Yes, you can do something for me. You can tell me why the hell you ran out on me?”

  She blinked rapidly. “What?”

  I was acting like a lunatic, but the anger was seething out of me, oozing from every pore. “Why did you run out on me, Grace? Or is that what you do whenever a guy kisses you?” I was practically shouting at her.

  She looked around at the handful of customers in the place. “C-could you please lower your voice?”

  My anger was like a runaway train now. “What?” I swung my arm out to the side, indicating the rest of the shop. “You don’t want them to know you kissed me or something? Well, it’s too late for that. It’s all over the Internet.”

  She glanced at the customers again, who were obviously watching us, although they were acting like they weren’t. “Please, Zane. I….”

  “You what, Grace? Why was it you left me standing there like an idiot?” I moved my hand in a circle. “Come on. Tell us all. We’re dying to know.”

  Her mouth hung open, trembling for a second, then she snapped it shut. “You know what?” She slapped the flowers down on the counter and marched around to stand in front of me. “I don’t know what your deal is. So some girl leaves on you? I’m sure you could have substituted with a dozen more.”

  “Yeah,” I bit off. “I could have, but I didn’t. Because I was confused about why you would come on to me then—”

  “Come on to you? You were the one who pulled me out of the audience.” She was shrieking and a tear crept over her lashes. “I didn’t…ask to be on stage. I didn’t come to that concert to meet anybody. I was—”

  “Well, that low-cut blouse said different.” I don’t know why I said it. Her shirt wasn’t low-cut. But part of me wanted to hurt her for making me hurt for lack of her.

  She pressed her lips together, her eyes turning cold. “I have work to do.” She pivoted to walk away.

  “Don’t act like you didn’t fucking feel it, too!”

  She spun slowly on one heel. “Get out of my store.”

  “You can’t just walk away from me.” Of course she could. What was wrong with me?

  She stomped her foot—which was damned c
ute—her hands fisted. “Get out. Get out of here.” She brought her fingers to her temples. “Just get out!” Her voice pitched into another octave.

  This wasn’t what I wanted. But I didn’t know what it was I wanted to begin with. I wanted to see her, that’s all. Well, I saw her all right. And like an idiot I spewed out a lot of hateful things without her ever giving me reason to. “Grace, I’m sorry.” I said it so quietly, she probably didn’t hear.

  She raised her gaze slowly, blinking tears left and right. “Get out,” she said distinctly. Some of the customers were gathering behind her.

  “I…I’m….” I couldn’t think beyond the headache pounding in my cranium. I turned, and left, the bells jangling harshly as I rushed out.

  I spent the next several hours on a bench in a nearby park, berating myself.

  What the hell is wrong with me? She didn’t deserve that. I came here to apologize, not go off on her.

  I had to ask for her forgiveness, and I had to do it right this time. But not in front of a store full of people. I looked up her closing time. I had three hours to kill. I went to a drug store and got some ibuprofen and downed four with warm soda that had been sitting in the car all day. As I was wandering back up the street, my hands jammed in my pockets, rehearsing what I was going to say, she stepped out onto the sidewalk half a block away. I checked my phone. It wasn’t even quite seven yet.

  Well, she’s probably had one hell of a day, thanks to me, and is closing early.

  She locked the door, not looking around, and walked at a brisk pace in the opposite direction. I started to follow and someone moved out of the recess created by the door to a store. The tall, skinny man smashed out a cigarette and trailed after Grace.

  Shit. Someone else was waiting to talk to her, too. My fucking luck.

  I pulled out my keys, intending to leave and come back the next day, but I noticed the guy didn’t call out to her. She twisted to look back, perhaps hearing the guy’s footsteps, and he ducked into a doorway. He waited then stuck his head out, and seeing she continued walking, he hastened to follow her.

  He’s stalking her.

  I pocketed my keys and, keeping in the storefront shadows, kept pace behind him. Grace didn’t seem to be hunting for a car, and after a couple of blocks, she turned to climb the stairs into a building.