Reinventing Lindsey

by Maggie Brown

  Though she was now physically fit, she understood well enough that it was only her body cured not her mind. Nightmares plagued her sleep. Controlling anxiety was a constant battle and she’d developed a crushing social phobia. Her sessions with the psychologist would have to continue for God knows how long. What she wanted, and intended to have, was a calm orderly life and she was about to take the first step to achieve that.

  Her father was waiting for her in the nearby park. She gave him a peck on the cheek before she took a seat beside him on the bench. “Thanks for coming, Dad.”

  “What’s so important that you couldn’t wait until you got home?”

  “I’m not going home. I’ve taken a lease on a flat in the city.”

  He went still, then put his hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze. “Good for you, kiddo. The only peace you’re ever going to get is to break free of your mother’s control. I’ll help as much as I can. What do you need?”

  Lindsey gazed at him in surprise as her stomach unknotted with relief. “I can’t live with her anymore, Dad. She constantly puts me down and she never lets me forget I’m a disappointment.”

  “I know, Lindsey,” he said, his eyes moist. “I’ve let her bully you over the years for the sake of peace, but enough is enough. What do you want to do?”

  “I’m going to start my own company,” she said and with a wry smile held up the plain plastic limb, “and design something much better than this. I’m already well on the way…I’ve started drawing. It was something to do.”

  “You’ll be needing money. Your trust fund is quite substantial. Buy yourself a house, and your company can be incorporated with the firm until it’s established. You can build a lab in that empty warehouse down by the river for a start.”

  Lindsey stared at him in surprise. “You sound like you’ve been planning it for a while.”

  “I knew this day would come…I’ve been preparing for it since you reached your teens. Bernice can organize getting your belongings transferred to your apartment. Would you like her to stay with you?”

  “I’d love her to, but Mother would hardly allow that.”

  He stood up and looked down at her. “Leave your mother to me, Lindsey. Now go and make yourself a life.”

  * * *

  Lindsey pressed a fist against her mouth, willing the memories gone. This time they didn’t linger. Daisy’s ready acceptance of her disability was like a balm—she was filled with more hope than she’d felt after years of counselling. There was no denying that if anyone could help her, Daisy could with her ceaseless cheery optimism.

  Instead of returning to work, Lindsey sat staring into space with her thoughts still centred on the events of the week. It was a long time since she felt such a strong connection with anyone. She was simply not good at establishing contact with people anymore. But this feeling for Daisy went beyond anything she’d felt for Kirsty. That had been a close friendship, someone to have fun with, to confide in, a steady presence in her young life. But with Daisy, she felt invigorated, albeit a little confused. When she had called her sweetie, Lindsey’s breath had hitched in her throat though she knew the endearment was simply compassion. The urge to pull her close had been so overwhelming it had rendered her speechless. Then when Lindsey managed to say something, all she could do was babble on about having a meltdown.

  She forced herself to begin work again, but the momentum had gone. A home truth crept in. She needed to face reality. Her life as a lab rat obsessively chained to her experiments and neglecting her personal life had to end. It was no way to live—the outings of the past two weeks had shown that. A big wide world was out there with places to go and things to do. Daisy would find a partner for her. She prayed so because she was sick of living without love, fed up with no one to share her life. To make it worse, her body now seemed to be going through some hormonal transformation. She constantly simmered with a mixture of frustration and unaccustomed longing.

  Out of nowhere, an image of Daisy naked on her bed popped into her mind. She pushed it firmly aside and replaced it with a mature voluptuous woman in a flimsy nightgown kneeling at her feet. As the siren kissed her way up a leg to her inner thigh, Lindsey reached down to fondle the silky straight hair. As she fanned the strands through her fingers, the blond hair began to morph into auburn curls.

  Bringgg…bringgg…bringgg.

  The call shattered the illusion and it dissolved like a summer’s mist. Smouldering with arousal, she growled into the phone. “Lindsey Jamieson-Ford speaking.”

  “I’ve been held up at my sister’s and won’t make it back by dinnertime, Lindsey. There’s a meal in the freezer you can microwave.”

  “No problem, Bernie. Enjoy yourself. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

  Feeling completely abandoned, and after only a cursory glance at the robot on the table she headed for her study. It could wait until tomorrow. She’d had enough. Dispirited, she prowled over her notes on her desk, picked up one at random then tossed it back down. Boring! Boring! With a grunt, she left the desk and dropped onto the couch to brood.

  She spent the rest of the afternoon mooching around doing nothing. Still miserable, she made her way to the kitchen for an early meal and was about to reach into the freezer when the phone in her pocket sprang to life. Her eyes widened at the sight of Daisy’s ID on the screen and she hurriedly pressed answer.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi, Lindsey. Would you like to come over to the cottage for dinner? I picked up some Thai takeaway on the way home and I’ve a bottle of wine in the fridge.”

  Lindsey bit her lip to stop the laugh of delight tumbling out and somehow managed to keep her tone casual. “I’ll be over in twenty minutes.”

  “Great. See you then.”

  The depression of the afternoon completely forgotten, Lindsey ran upstairs to her bedroom with a bounce in her step. After a quick shower, she rummaged through her new wardrobe with a discerning eye—tonight she wanted to look especially nice. It was the first time that Daisy had invited her to the cottage.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Before she answered the doorbell, Daisy straightened her top and smoothed down her recalcitrant hair with the palm of her hand. When she opened the door, she sucked in a quick breath as a tingle shot straight down her body to the very tips of her toes. Dressed in black skinny jeans, a tailored dark green silk shirt and black ankle boots, Lindsey looked stunning.

  “Hi. Thanks for asking me over,” Lindsey said earnestly, clearly aware of the scrutiny by the way she was shuffling her feet.

  Daisy averted her eyes and awkwardly waved her inside. “Come on in.”

  As they moved into the house, she went slowly to study Lindsey more discreetly. Her body was angular and strong, tapering down from well-defined shoulders, to slim hips and a tight behind, to long shapely legs. About five ten, she walked with poise and had a commanding air to her movements, an intrinsic quality that couldn’t be bought. She was the quintessential power lesbian. Once she gained confidence, Daisy had no doubt Lindsey would slide into that role as easy as slipping on a glove.

  She gave a nod of approval. For all her image that she’d cultivated as a friendly I-am-in-charge modern woman, Daisy was attracted to intelligent masterful women who took the lead. And Lindsey fitted all those criteria. She probably would be an incredibly thoughtful lover once she got the hang of it.

  “Go into the lounge and I’ll get us a drink,” she said.

  After Lindsey disappeared, she popped the cork. Champagne could be relied upon to set a good mood and lower the defences, so after a glass or two, she’d bring up the proposed article. When she returned with the drinks, Lindsey was relaxed with legs crossed in an armchair. Daisy handed over the bubbling flute, put the ice bucket beside her chair and sank down on the long sofa opposite.

  The cottage was anything but spartan. She loved its cosiness but thought the loungeroom especially charming. The walls were a light cream, the floor polished wood partially covered by a th
ick red Turkish rug, and a butter-soft brown leather lounge was arranged in a semi-circle in front of a high-tech entertainment unit. Clever ambient lighting created an intimate mood, while the glass door leading out to a vine-draped pergola let in a stream of sunlight during the day. A faint scent of honeysuckle tinted the air.

  “So,” said Lindsey. “Did you have a nice lunch with your mother?”

  Daisy cocked her head in surprise at the wistful tone. “Tasty food as always at the Chelsea. Maybe we could go there one day.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Then what say we do that and catch a movie on Saturday?”

  “That would be really great. I haven’t been to a cinema in years.” Lindsey gave a small cough. “Not since the accident.”

  “It’s a date then.” She studied Lindsey’s face. In a way, she was an anthropologist’s dream. The woman hadn’t moved socially forward from the past, since she was twenty-one, and had little knowledge of a society that had evolved without her. It was so much fun showing her how things were today, reinventing her was like having a blank slate. And the new Lindsey seemed to be enjoying herself. Things couldn’t be going better. “What kinds of movies do you like?” she asked.

  “I don’t watch TV much. I’ll let you pick the film.”

  “What do you do at night then? And don’t tell me you work.”

  Lindsey took a sip and twirled the stem of the glass absently. “I read and play championship chess online,” then she added with a hint of pride, “and I designed a video game last year.”

  “Oh. My. God. Lindsey, you’re a total geek!”

  She ignored the statement and said stiffly, “The game is to be kept a secret. I designed it under an alias.”

  A peal of laughter tinkled out of Daisy. “Really? What is it? Robogirl?”

  “Very funny.”

  “So, what books do you read?” Daisy asked then held up a finger. “Aha…don’t tell me. Let me guess. Either technical or science fiction…or maybe both.”

  Lindsey shrugged. “Mainly romance. It’s the way I chill out.”

  Daisy blinked. Well that was a surprise. “What like Jane Austen? I can’t see you reading chit lit.”

  “You wouldn’t be interested in what I read.”

  “Try me.”

  “Okay. Lesbian romances.”

  Daisy sucked in a surprised breath then began coughing. Immediately Lindsey was beside her on the sofa, her face bent close to hers. “You okay?”

  “I’m all right,” she hissed, but when Lindsey began to rub her back she forgot even to breathe. The touch sent her body begging for more. Eventually, she reluctantly straightened and moved away.

  “I’ll get you a glass of water,” offered Lindsey.

  “No, no, I’m fine. Let’s have another champagne before we eat. I have something to discuss with you.” Before there was a protest, she refilled the glasses and handed one to Lindsey who moved back to her seat.

  “That sounds intriguing. Am I going to like it?”

  “I hope so. I’ve worked out how to let everyone know about your arm before you hit the dating scene,” Daisy began.

  “Oh?”

  “Well…um…I know this journalist, Mackenzie Griffith, who writes freelance.” Daisy tapped her fingers against the side of the glass, trying to ignore the intensity of Lindsey’s gaze and plunged on. “So, I just happened to see her today and well…I had the idea that she could interview you. I didn’t say anything about your arm—that’s for you to tell her—I only mentioned you might be amenable to do an article for some exposure prior to launching your new technology.”

  Suddenly Lindsey’s eyes narrowed. “You talked to her without asking me?”

  Oh, shit! From the look on her face, Lindsey wasn’t taking the idea as well as she had hoped. Daisy fervently wished now she hadn’t been so hasty and given it more thought. It had seemed such a good idea at the time but— “I only tested the waters. She’ll do the interview just the way we want it done. She’s one of the best journalists in the city.”

  “No.”

  “You’re saying no just like that? Without even discussing it?”

  “Yes I am.”

  Okay—maybe not such a good idea to hit her with it so quickly. “That’s being a bit small-minded, isn’t it? You haven’t even thought about it.”

  Her face screwed up in disapproval, Lindsey said in a low clipped voice. “Do you know how many times I’ve been pestered for an interview since I was named on that damn Forbes’ list of scientists? Hundreds, Daisy, hundreds. Phone calls, emails, texts, letters…you name it. I just want to be left alone.”

  They stared at each other warily for a long moment before Daisy tossed up her hands. “Okay. It’s your prerogative and it’s not worth arguing over. I’ll let her know you’re not interested. You’ll just have to break the fact of your arm to your dates yourself. Drink up and I’ll serve out on the dining room table.”

  She moved off to the kitchen without saying another word, leaving Lindsey to stew. She hoped after half an hour she’d come around to her way of thinking. As they worked their way through the Thai takeaway, Daisy kept up a stream of inconsequential chatter until Lindsey suddenly threw her fork onto the plate and scowled. “Okay. Enough. Who exactly is this Mackenzie person?”

  Daisy exhaled a sigh of relief. “She used to be a war correspondent and has been in practically every war zone in the world. She’s very highly regarded both by her peers and the public. Noted for her integrity. She’s won several Walkley Awards and is about as good a journalist as you can get. But not only that, she’s a really nice person and a very good friend.”

  “How did you become friends. She’s not another former client of your agency?”

  “No,” said Daisy. “Her partner, Rachel, is a detective and an old friend of mine. They met when Mac’s twin sister was murdered. It turned out she was another victim of that serial killer who terrorised the city in 2015.”

  “How awful! That must have been horrific for Mac.”

  “It was. But something good did come out of all the trauma—she met Rachel. They’re getting married next year.”

  “She’s marrying a woman?”

  “That she is.”

  “So,” said Lindsey thoughtfully. “How come you know so much about the lesbian community if I’m your first client? You seem to know plenty about them and where they hang out.”

  Daisy froze. Damn, she’d walked straight into this without a thought. She pursed her lips, thinking. There was no point keeping her sexual orientation quiet now, it could create a rift further down the track if she didn’t come clean. She couldn’t hide it anyway, for when she took Lindsey to the Beauvoir Club, Carmen would make sure of that. “I’m a lesbian, so naturally I know where they socialize,” she said with a casual shrug.

  “You’re one and you didn’t tell me?” The words were barked out.

  Daisy winced. Lindsey looked completely pissed off. “Well, it’s not my policy to discuss my personal life with clients. I’m here to help you find a wife so you should be regarding me as merely a means to an end.”

  “What rubbish. Of course, it was pertinent in my case. It would have made me feel a lot better about the whole business. I was extremely embarrassed having to ask you to find me a wife.”

  “Yes…well…I wanted to tell you but you must understand my position. When I started the business, Marigold wouldn’t have been so successful if I’d come out professionally. I expected all my clients to be straight so I made the conscious decision not to mention I wasn’t. There was no point in complicating things. It’s really not relevant.” She gave Lindsey an imploring look. “I am sorry but I had no choice.”

  “We all have choices, Daisy. You chose to go down that path because it was the one of least resistance. You want people to like you. It’s your nature and you thrive on it. But remember that sins of omission are just as hurtful as other offences.”

  For once Daisy could think of nothing to say.
In her heart, she knew the rebuke was deserved. Even if she still chose to remain closeted professionally, she should have acted more compassionately towards Lindsey—from the start the vibes had been there that she suffered from anxiety. Daisy had not only been blasé about her lack of romantic experience, she had thought Lindsey naïve. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. Lindsey was a highly intelligent woman at the top of her field, who suffered from PTSD and was making a concerted effort to improve her life.

  As much as she tried to think, no answer came. Lindsey had been right in her analysis. She did want to be liked. And the need was fuelled by continuous barbs from her sister Meg about her sexual orientation and choice of career. She knew the rest of the family didn’t care, but it still rankled. Now having produced the first grandchild, Meg was doubly infuriating. Her perception that Daisy was her mother’s favourite had caused the rift, which was getting wider as they got older. One day soon, they would have to have it out. It was upsetting their family’s stability.

  Fighting the unexpected urge to cry, Daisy picked up her fork and forced the rest of her food down. When Lindsey cleared her throat, she looked up from her plate. To her horror, she felt a tear escape over a lid and slide down her cheek. Oh hell, now Lindsey was going to think she was a wimp who couldn’t take criticism. She quickly averted her eyes, brushed it off and asked, “Would you like coffee or hot chocolate? We can have it back in the lounge.”

  “Daisy, look at me.” Lindsey leaned over the table and said softly, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “You didn’t,” Daisy said, slumping back in the seat. “You just gave me a wakeup call. Everything you said was quite true. I’m getting to be a self-centred twat and I haven’t treated you with the dignity you deserve. If you don’t want to do the interview, then don’t. I was wrong to push you. We’ll work out something else.” She hesitated for a few seconds before she added, “That is if you still want me as your matchmaker.”