Reinventing Lindsey

by Maggie Brown

  “What’s got you so upset,” asked Carmen after they found a table.

  Daisy glowered as she bit into a coconut prawn. “Nothing.” When the flavour hit her tongue, she became a little calmer. It was by far the best prawn she’d ever tasted. By the time she worked through the meal and dessert, her good humour was restored. Stuff Lindsey. What did she care about the uptight woman anyhow? If Daisy’s company wasn’t good enough for her, then too bad.

  “Come on,” she said with a burst of enthusiasm. “Let’s get some fresh air.”

  On the way out to the terrace, she caught sight of Lindsey and Margarette at the buffet. When Lindsey glanced over, she quickly slid her arm through Carmen’s and strolled towards the open doors. It was a beautiful night, the air on the terrace refreshingly crisp. They joined three women leaning on the railing looking out over the city lights.

  When the others went back inside, Carmen whispered in her ear, “Come with me. I know somewhere private.” She tugged Daisy’s arm. Happy enough to sit down, she allowed herself to be led around the corner to a small secluded alcove with a bench chair. Carmen pulled her close and leaned forward.

  Before the kiss landed, Daisy pushed her away irritably. “What are you doing?”

  “I wanted to be alone with you. We need to talk about us.”

  “There is no us, Carmen. For heaven’s sake, we’ve only been out once.”

  “But I’ve known you for ages. Come on, babe. I like you…you know that. I want you to come home with me tonight.”

  “Sorry. Lindsey is staying at my place tonight.”

  Carmen went still, her eyes turned a wintery blue. “What?”

  “Her chauffer isn’t available tonight so she’s coming home with me.”

  “You know her well enough to give her a bed for the night? I can’t imagine why you’d bother…she’s so pompous.”

  “Damn it, Carmen, you don’t even know her. How can you be so judgemental?” exclaimed Daisy, indignant.

  “I’ve seen enough. She’s arrogant…and that voice. You’d think she was the fucking queen.”

  Daisy leaned back, scrutinizing the model. Having known her socially for a year before she had agreed to go out on a date, she’d never seen her even remotely this upset. Lindsey had certainly got under her skin. Without a doubt, Carmen was envious. Lindsey had everything she craved—good breeding and old money, or as the French put it, she was le bon ton. And now the woman she wanted was taking her home.

  Suddenly, Daisy felt a wave of compassion. For a person who seemingly had everything, underneath Carmen was quite insecure. Daisy gently cradled her hand. “Hey. You’ve got Lindsey completely wrong. She’s a nice person who has been through a serious trauma. Now she simply wants to live an ordinary life. And whatever you’re imagining is going on between us is not. We’re simply friends.”

  Anger fading from her face, Carmen looked at her in astonishment. “You have no idea, have you?”

  “Of what exactly?”

  “That she wants to get into your pants.”

  To her utter consternation, Daisy felt heat flush over her cheeks. Damn. She was blushing like a schoolgirl. “That’s rubbish and do you have to be so crass?”

  “Oh, lighten up, Daisy. Get into the real world. You’re so old-fashioned and full of that soulmate crap.”

  “It is not crap.”

  “How the hell would you know. You’ve never let yourself get close enough to anyone to find out.”

  “Nonsense,” Daisy snapped.

  Carmen sidled closer. “Then kiss me and tell me you feel nothing.”

  “Okay,” Daisy hissed furiously and smashed her mouth against the bright red lipstick. The lips were as soft as silk and she slowed, taking a moment to savour the experience. But as much as it was wonderful to feel a woman in her arms again, there were no fireworks, no aching longing. Her libido barely felt a twinge.

  When she pulled back, Carmen gave a moan of frustration. “Don’t stop.”

  Daisy wriggled out the embrace with a look of apology. “I’m sorry. It was nice…you’re nice. And you were great having us as here your guests. I do like you but—”

  “But you don’t feel anything for me,” said Carmen with a long painful sigh. “I guess I knew that but it still hurts. And I should be pragmatic and wish you well but I don’t. Come on, let’s get back to the party.”

  Daisy nodded silently. As they made their way back from the terrace, she checked her watch. It was after midnight—time to go home. There was no need to search for Lindsey to ask if she was ready. She was standing stiffly at the doors with her arms crossed.

  “Ready,” said Daisy brightly, ignoring the scowl.

  “Yes.”

  “Then let’s go.” And with a twirl, she walked briskly from the room, leaving Lindsey to trail in her wake.

  Chapter Thirty

  Lindsey waited impatiently while Daisy reached into her bag for her keys. All she wanted was to go to bed without Daisy knowing how upset she was. The ten-minute ride in the cab had been tense, both women maintaining a frosty silence. She clamped down on her anger as Daisy fumbled to fit the key into the lock.

  “Hurry up,” she snapped.

  When the door clicked open and they stepped inside, Daisy whirled round, smouldering anger in her eyes. “What the hell’s wrong with you. I have no idea why you’re being so rude.”

  Lindsey struggled for composure. “No idea be damned. First off, you let that pretentious model paw you all night and then you…you make an exhibition of yourself on the dance floor.”

  “Excuse me. What right have you to criticise my behaviour. You are neither my partner nor my mother.”

  “No, I’m not, but I thought you would have had more brains than to get romantically attached to someone like Carmen.”

  “I am not attached to her,” Daisy said coldly. “On the contrary, we do not suit each other at all. She unfortunately, has a thing for me which I have never reciprocated.”

  Lindsey moved closer to crowd her against the wall. She wiped her finger down the side of her mouth. “Then what’s that lipstick. It’s certainly not your shade.”

  “How dare you touch me. It’s none of your business,” Daisy ground out. “And what does it matter to you anyhow?”

  “It matters.”

  “Why?”

  “Because—” Lindsey’s stomach clenched. She was so close to Daisy she could feel her soft breath on her neck. Her skin began to tingle, her leg muscles tightened. Pressure began to build in her groin, her body having a will of its own. She pressed firmly against Daisy and whispered hoarsely into her ear. “Because I want to be the one who gets to touch you…to kiss you. Not her.”

  With a swift movement, she captured her mouth. When Daisy went still, she deepened the kiss. Then Daisy suddenly sank against her, her arms coming up to circle her neck. Encouraged, Lindsey flicked her tongue into the open mouth, losing herself in the warmth. Their tongues began to duel. She was beyond stopping now. She sucked an earlobe into her mouth, then nibbled her teeth lightly along the line of Daisy’s jaw. Dimly, she heard Daisy moan as she kissed down her neck, tasted the light salty skin at the base. She moved up to anchor the body against hers with her prosthetic arm.

  She pulled down Daisy’s dress top and eased her breast out of the bra. She rolled the nipple in her fingers until it was hard and erect, rewarded with a faint groan from Daisy. Possessively, Lindsey lowered her head and sucked the nipple into her mouth. As she began to lick and suckle it, the supple body arched into her. When Daisy’s hands urgently ran through her hair, any lingering restraint vanished. Lindsey’s limbs felt white-hot, molten. She was blind with need. Hurriedly, she pushed up Daisy’s dress, eased her leg between her thighs and slid her hand down under the lacy underwear. When her fingers slipped into the velvet sex, Lindsey nearly exploded. Daisy was so wet.

  When she began to stroke Daisy’s clitoris, a voice sliced through her consciousness, “Oh…oh…God, Lindsey.”

&nb
sp; Awareness rushed through her. What was she doing? She stilled her hand, though didn’t remove it.

  “Don’t damn well stop now,” groaned Daisy. “I need you. Please.”

  Lindsey moaned, her vision blurring as she probed the moisture again until she found the sensitive nub. Trembling, she rubbed herself against Daisy’s thigh as she stroked it. Daisy thrust against her, and the pressure between her legs built to a boiling point.

  “Inside me, please…oh…so good…please,” Daisy gasped.

  When Lindsey slid in two fingers, being inside Daisy sent her to a fever pitch. She thrust in and out until the walls began to swell then contract against her fingers. Daisy stiffened and dug into Lindsey’s back as the first fluttering of her orgasm began. “Oh fuck,” she wailed when it finally overwhelmed her.

  Lindsey whimpered as her own climax followed immediately in giant spasms that rippled in a torrent of exquisite pleasure.

  They stood slumped against each other, Lindsey’s heart hammering against her rib cage. “Are you all right?” she finally asked anxiously. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…I hadn’t planned—”

  “Whew. That blew me away,” said Daisy. She disentangled from their embrace.

  “I swear I never meant to—”

  “Shush now,” Daisy said, her voice soft and caressing. “Don’t apologise. I enjoyed every minute. Now no more talk. Come with me to bed.”

  Lindsey felt a new wave of arousal flood her thighs as she followed her down the hallway. Daisy already had her dress off by the time they reached the queen-sized bed that was covered by a big fluffy doona. Lindsey licked her lips at the sight of Daisy in her brief lacy underwear bending over to turn back the covers. She was drop-dead gorgeous. Unable to resist, she sidled up behind her and began to massage her bottom.

  Daisy turned and swatted her hand away. “No, you don’t. It’s my turn. Get your clothes off.”

  Lindsey froze. Could she take off her shirt? As if sensing her agitation, Daisy quickly added, “Undress in the bathroom. Leave your shirt on but get rid of the bra and leave the front open.”

  Grateful for her understanding, Lindsey disappeared through the door. When she returned, Daisy was naked on the bed. She crooked a finger at her. “Now get in here with me so I can warm you up.”

  As soon as Lindsey stretched out on the bed, Daisy twisted to face her with a heated expression. With one hand resting on her thigh, she kissed Lindsey firmly on the mouth.

  “Hmmm,” Daisy murmured. “So soft.”

  With a last open-mouthed kiss, she moved down to tease her nipples with her teeth and tongue. Lindsey squirmed closer, her body burning as her nipple was consumed by the hot wet mouth. Then when Daisy climbed on top and slid up and over Lindsey’s pelvis as she sucked the breast, Lindsey let out a long loud moaning, “Ahhhh!”

  Humming, Daisy slipped down further, trailing kisses down Lindsey’s abdomen until she reached the curly hair on her mound. Lindsey tensed in anticipation. But Daisy went down to her inner thighs, moving her mouth slowly up the skin. She remained there for a moment before she spread Lindsey’s legs wider with her hands. Then she parted the folds exposing the distended clit. When she finally began to flick her tongue over it, Lindsey had to clench her jaw to keep from crying out. All she was conscious of now was the exquisite feeling as the clever tongue lapped her into a rising crescendo of passion.

  Lindsey ruffled Daisy’s curls urgently. When her orgasm hit it was sudden and with such force that she screamed. As it washed over her, any control shattered. Lindsey fell back into the bed completely spent, shaking with after-tremors.

  She opened her eyes to find Daisy looking at her smugly. “You liked that, huh?”

  “It was incredible,” said Lindsey, her head pressed into the pillow.

  Daisy gazed at her curiously. “How much experience have you had with women? How long has it been?”

  Lindsey drew a shaky breath. If she hoped to have any relationship with Daisy then she would have to be frank with her, have to let her in. Tonight, when she had seen her with Carmen, she was so consumed with jealousy that she couldn’t deny her feelings any longer. She was quietly falling in love with her matchmaker.

  She reached over to trail a finger down the side of Daisy’s face. “You gave me something very special tonight. Belief in myself. Now I know what real intimacy and emotion feel like. I needed to hear them breathing inside me to believe I could be capable of loving someone.”

  “You’ve never been in love?”

  Lindsey shook her head. “I always believed love was for people who had something to offer in return, something more than damage and need.”

  “Then you’ve never been in a relationship?”

  “No. After the accident, I was not only a mess socially but also sexually dysfunctional. My only experience with a girl had ended in disaster, and with only one arm I felt less than a woman. The guilt was compounded by my mother’s utter condemnation of my sexuality. I had lost my best friend and had no one. I couldn’t bear anyone touching me. You saw what I was like. Well multiply that by a hundred and you have the picture.”

  “It must have been hell.”

  “It was. I retreated further into my isolated world until even my work was beginning to suffer. Bernice managed to keep me sane.”

  “But you have many scientific achievements. How were you able to move on?”

  “After battling with my phobias for three years, my psychologist referred me to a sex surrogate. She said I’d never completely control my PTSD until I learnt to be intimate. After some badgering, I agreed to see one in the end. A very expensive woman. Trisha.”

  Daisy propped herself up on an elbow and looked at her curiously. “I presume a sex surrogate is…ah…hands-on.”

  Lindsey cleared her throat then nodded. “Yes.”

  “How long did that therapy take?”

  “Three and a half years, though the last year was only monthly sessions.” She looked at Daisy anxiously. “Intimacy was nearly impossible in the beginning, but she worked me through it and out the other side. It took twenty sessions before we even went to bed.”

  Daisy toyed with the edge of the sheet. “Did you ever get…um…attached to her?”

  “Are you asking if I fell in love with her?”

  “Yes, I guess I am.”

  “No, I was never in love with her. I was very close to her, probably more than a lot of lovers ever get. But our relationship wasn’t about loving sex, it was built on my pain-filled shame. Pain is an intimate emotion that finds places inside even passion doesn’t. And it stays longer. No, our time together was more about gaining trust. She gave me hope.”

  “You haven’t seen her since?”

  “No. Although we grew to be good friends, she was my therapist. It was understood our relationship had to remain professional, and when the sessions finished I was to move on. One day though, I intend to look her up again but only when I’ve settled down with someone. I’d like her to know I didn’t crawl back under the same rock again.”

  Daisy smiled. “She would have seen your write-up in the magazine and I’m sure she’s been following your career. I like to know how my clients fare after our contract is finished.”

  “I’ve often wondered if she ever thought about me again.”

  “Believe me, she would have.” Taking her face in her hands, Daisy kissed her softly. “Thank you for telling me. I’m glad she was there for you.”

  With a sigh of relief, Lindsey gently settled Daisy against her. “So where do we go from here?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, we’re together now, aren’t we? There’s no point in me continuing the program.”

  Daisy snuggled into her curves and mumbled sleepily, “Come on…we’ve discussed this. I have to be fair to you. You can’t rush into anything. Now let’s get some sleep.”

  Lindsey stared down at her not comprehending what she had just heard. When it sank in, she nearly choked with hurt. After th
e most wonderful sex, she was expected to go out and date other women. Had it just been a pleasant diversion for Daisy? She opened her mouth to protest but Daisy was already asleep.

  She stared at the ceiling while an occasional little snore echoed beside her. The feeling of betrayal gradually increased until she could stand it no longer. Careful not to disturb Daisy, she eased out of the bed and then dressed quickly. After she scribbled out a note in the kitchen, she rang for a taxi.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Sunbeams streaming through the window woke Daisy. She stretched out from under the doona and eyed the bright room. It had to be after eight thirty for the sun to be high enough over the neighbouring tall apartment building to hit her house. When the memories of the night flooded in, she automatically reached behind to feel for the body beside her. Puzzled, she found the bed empty. She hadn’t heard Lindsey get up. When she turned to look, there was no dint in the sheet. Lindsey had long since gone. She bounded out of bed, then realizing she was naked, hastily pulled on a tracksuit.

  The spare room bed hadn’t been slept in. She walked through the lounge to the kitchen to see if she was making breakfast but found it empty. Totally confused, she tried to think—Lindsey would hardly disappear without saying goodbye. Not after last night. It had been wonderful. Never in her wildest dreams had she expected anything so powerful and perfect. Lindsey was all the things Daisy ever wanted in a lover: receptive, strong, and passionate.

  About to go out to look on the back balcony, a piece of paper on the dining room table caught her eye. She picked it up nervously. Something told her she wasn’t going to like what it said. And she was right. A bad taste flooded her mouth.

  I won’t be requiring your matchmaking services anymore and will be taking it from here myself. I obviously read something into our lovemaking (or should I say sex) that wasn’t there. I imagine last night was the last lesson in your book. I trust I passed the exam with at least a B.

  Anguished, Daisy flopped down into the seat. Tears pricked her eyes. What had she done? How could she have been so stupid? She had only tried to be fair to Lindsey, even though she had a major crush on her. So often she’d seen desperate clients fall for the first person who came along. She called it the loneliness-rebound syndrome. If she hadn’t been so tired when Lindsey had asked what happened next, they would have discussed it properly. Now Lindsey thought she was some sort of lesbian Don Juan, a heartless bitch who casually seduced women then threw them aside. Crap!