My date that Francesca wasn’t calling a date was in less than twenty four hours. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. My stomach was a constant knot, my palms eternally sweaty. Pops hadn’t called me since yesterday, but I couldn’t tell you if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Cason still hadn’t returned my keys, but I suspected once I explained to him my plans for tomorrow, he would oblige for the greater good.
I hoped anyways.
I downed the last of my beer an hour ago, and I only had a bottle of Whiskey and a bottle of JD left. The liquid burned on the way down, but it calmed me all over. Planning out and reliving all of mine and Francesca’s important moments was a big deal. It could make or break me. I didn’t want to scare her, or make her sad, but I had to let her know how important she was to me. She deserved better than me, I was the first to admit it, but she also deserved to know how much of my heart she held captive. To know how her eyes could peer at me and see my soul. How her touch lit me on fire, and yet I wanted to endure it forever. How her voice was like angels singing a song only I could hear. And how seeing her face made me want to puke, make love to her, and run all at the same time.
I continued drinking, watching some dumb movie on television while I sprawled out on the couch. After it ended, or the bottled emptied, I couldn’t remember, I called Cason. He hated excuses, but he loved Francesca, so I was praying for success. His phone rang and rang, making me wonder if he was ignoring me when I heard him mumble a greeting.
“Cason, I’m sorry ok?” I started.
“Have you been drinking, Cade?” he questioned.
“Cason….”
“Don’t, ok? It doesn’t matter what you say, you aren’t getting your keys back. And I went and got your spare from Dad, so don’t even think of calling Mom,” he argued.
“I’m taking Francesca out tomorrow, Cason. Dammit, I can’t make her drive. And I already promised her I wouldn’t be drinking, so come on. Lighten up,” I pleaded. Not that I wanted to, it was a must at this point.
“No,” he said frankly.
“Damn you,” I hissed, ending the call before he could reply. The old motorcycle in the garage at home was my only hope. It hadn’t been ridden in a couple of years, and I had no idea if Francesca would get on it, but I didn’t see any other option at this point. Gaining my courage, I dialed Mom.
Sneaking around with my mother at 2 a.m. wasn’t something I ever anticipated I’d be doing. Ever. She quickly agreed to help me get the bike off the property, but we had to be stealthy. Pops was on the lookout after Cason’s warning, so we waited. And waited until he fell asleep. Who knew my mom was so secretive. It made me wonder how many times she hid things from Pops, but I wasn’t curious enough to actually ask.
“Tell me again about your plans,” she sighed.
“Mom, come on. I told you twice already,” I groaned. She wanted Francesca to be the daughter she didn’t have. And she was adamant I get things rolling quickly.
“It’s just so romantic. You love her,” she stated.
I hadn’t told her that at any time in my life. I did love her, but no one knew. It wasn’t something I was comfortable sharing with others. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Mom.”
“I didn’t. Your eyes gave you away,” she said, slowing the car and shutting the headlights off.
“What are you doing?” I questioned.
“We have to walk from here,” she explained, dead serious.
“What? Why?” I turned quickly, confused about what was happening.
“Listen, Cade, you’re old enough to know this. Derek doesn’t like it when I help you. He says I baby you, so I go behind his back quite often to help you out of your problems,” she told me, turning to face me. “He’s threatened to leave me, Cade, because I help you when you drink. I don’t want a divorce, so we’re sneaking. Either we walk from here or you’re on your own,” she stated.
I was shocked. I couldn’t believe she just told me that. “Mom, I’m sorry….” I wrapped my arm around her, realizing just how much my mother did for me.
“Just…Cade…don’t screw this up with Francesca, ok? You two have something amazing, and she makes you different. So let her help you. It’s time to grow up, you know?”
Her words sank in and I nodded slowly. I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, make any promises, but I would try. For Mom and for Francesca.
She didn’t say anything else, only shut the car off and quietly got out. The door made no sound when she shut it and she headed up the driveway. It wasn’t a particularly long driveway, but I didn’t want to think of how many times she’d been out here alone in the middle of the night. Our town wasn’t known for violence, but it happened.
“Mom,” I hissed, sliding into step with her. “How are we going to get it out of here?”
“You’re going to walk it down to the road and ride it,” she told me, looking at me like I wasn’t all there in the head.
“I haven’t rode it in years. What if it doesn’t work?” I whispered back.
“It’ll be ok. It’s been ridden.”
“Who? Who’s been riding it? Don’t tell me Pops,” I said in shock.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Me.” She strolled up to the garage, which was already open, and uncovered the sleek, black bike.
It was shiny, it looked like it had been recently painted, and it made my heart clench with want. Riding was an escape. A way to leave my problems behind, but when I wrecked at nineteen, Pops had called it off limits. Why he let me keep it, I didn’t know, but it seemed as if Mom had kept it in working condition for me. My mom, the silent but strong woman that always stood up for me was not the type to get on a motorcycle, much less actually drive it, but here she was, surprising me once again.
“You’re awesome, Mom,” I said, grinning widely.
Her blue eyes blazed with confidence and she stood a little straighter. “Thank you, Son. Now, listen…I’m letting you take this, but Cade, you have to straighten up. Grow up. Be responsible. Francesca isn’t going to put up with your shit and if you’re the man I think you are, you’ll want to change for her. I see how she changes you. You shine from the inside, your eyes glow with happiness,” she stepped forward, placing a hand on my arm, “Don’t lose that.”
I stared at her. My mother just said shit and was telling me who I loved. The twilight zone had come and taken over my life. I simply nodded, kicking the kickstand loose so I could walk the bike out. “Love you, Mom.”
Taking a step towards me, she hugged me tightly, “I love you too. Be careful,” she whispered.
I saw tears in her eyes, but I didn’t know why. “What about your car?”
“It’s ok. I parked it on the road before, so I’ll leave it.”
“Ok, bye, Ma.”
She raised a hand to wave, a small smile crossing her face.
I turned, slowing and quietly making my way to the road. The bike moved smoothly and my legs were itching to straddle the seat, to feel the power beneath me as I glided down the road, to feel in control of something for once. I made it to the street, flinging my leg over and sliding in the key. I cruised it down a few houses, then turned it on. The motor roared with power, the adrenaline pulsing through my veins. Revving the engine, I balanced myself and took off. The wind whipped around me, the cool of night enveloping me. The drive was short, but enough to calm my nerves. Racing inside, I finished off the alcohol I had left and fell into a deep sleep, excited at the possibilities only hours away.
Mangled Hearts Page 16