It was 100% official, I’d lost my mind. I made plans to have a half day at work to get ready for a non-date with Cade. I rolled my eyes at myself every five minutes or so, because I really was being an idiot. I hurried in the building door, stopping exasperatedly to say hi to Zander. He looked me over, the deep blue depths seeing right through me. He chuckled, a rich and deep sound, while shaking his head.
“What is with you?” he questioned, standing to hand off the notes he’d taken and my mail.
“Z….” I groaned, planting my face in my palms. “I’m an idiot.”
“Not completely, you did finish law school,” he teased.
“Yeah, but, I’m still an idiot when it comes to men,” I mumbled.
He leaned forward, his voice lowering, “I’ll come to your office on break.” His fingers clenched my upper arm, a frightened gleam in his eye.
“Ok,” I said, confused. I looked around, seeing many of the partners moving around the building. Now I understood. I nodded to him, then hurried to get to work. The partners rarely all came out at once. So something was definitely up. Zander was still working on his undergrad degree, but hoped to be a lawyer, so neither one of us could afford to screw up around them. I slid in my little corner unnoticed, closing the door softly behind me. Whatever was going on, I didn’t want to be in the middle of it, especially since I already asked for a half day. I shuffled through the notes, stopping when I saw one about the city.
City Ordinance 1057: The city council designates clean-up of all sidewalks in city limits. Replacement of all street lamps, bus benches, and updating all advertisement boards required.
Blah, blah, blah. All I saw was the replacement of bus benches. The place where Cade and I met would be gone forever. My heart was hurting, my feelings all over the place. Resting my head in my hand, I willed my eyes to not drop tears. A knock on my door startled me. I snapped up straight, shuffled the papers to look like I was working, and yelled, “Come in!”
Zander slid in, his dark hair ruffled, a few buttons of his shirt popped open. “Holy shit, Francesca. These people are crazy.” The door clicked behind him. He strutted over. Stretching out in the chair, he leaned his head back and sighed loudly. “They’re doing half the performance appraisals today,” he muttered.
“What? Appraisals are supposed to be months away,” I exclaimed, hopping to my feet. Frantically, I searched for my notes on the matter, then my phone. I had to let Cade know I would be working late. I needed to find a mirror and make myself more presentable.
“Chill, ok? Yours is next week,” he said, his eyes wide as he watched me.
“How do you know?” I inquired.
He shrugged, “I know things.”
Relaxed, I gingerly sat back down, staring at him. He was fighting a laugh as he stared back. “What?”
“You were freaking out. It was hilarious,” he chuckled.
I glared at him before sticking my tongue out. “Shut up,” I huffed, crossing my arms.
He laughed loudly, “Oh, mature. Please, tell me what’s going on now. I only have,” he drew his words out, looking around to find my clock, “five more minutes.”
I exhaled heavily, drumming my fingers against my desk. “Remember the client you freaked out about? Yeah, well, he wants to hang out tonight. And I’m a mess, Z. A mess,” I groaned.
His mouth fell open and he didn’t even blink. “Do it.”
“What?” I said, shocked, “You’re supposed to tell me how awful this is. Talk me out of it.”
“I should…but I’m not. You have worked your ass off for these people for too long. I say do it. Even if you get caught, it’ll be worth it. You shouldn’t work here anyways, you could be much more successful in your own practice.”
“You’re crazy,” I giggled, waving him off.
He gripped the arms of the chair, leaning forward, “I’m serious.” His face was stern, his eyes staring deep in mine. “Think about it. I’ll come work for you if you do. I have to go back.” He stood, giving me a serious finger wagging before exiting.
I leaned back, twirling in the chair. Having my own practice wasn’t something I hadn’t thought of. I dreamed of it often, but Cade’s case was my first. I wasn’t all that experienced. I didn’t want to start something only to fail. I played it safe. I played life safe…just like Daphne was always telling me. I didn’t want to be this way, I wanted to enjoy life. Every second of it. For me and for Josie…but how? I was scared. A big chicken about getting hurt, about failure, even falling in love. I scribbled a few positive reinforcement notes on my pad, then got to work. Less than two hours and I would be able to leave and concentrate on my weekend.
The warm water eased my tension. I relaxed some, but not enough to shake the overwhelming feeling of nervousness that was quickly overtaking my body. Cade Kelling was all I ever wanted but everything I wanted nothing to do with. He was my everything but I couldn’t lose myself to him again. He may have been the reason my little sister, my wonderful, amazing, beautiful sister, died. I thought I knew, but now doubt was quickly sneaking its way into my mind. I shut the water off, toweling myself dry and wrapping my hair up. I had no earthly idea what to wear, or where to even start, but I knew I couldn’t look too good. Dressing up would make him think I thought it was a date. And while deep down I felt like it was, I couldn’t admit that to him. Not yet, anyways. He always held all the power, the control, when we were younger. I was just the young, innocent girl that was head over heels for him. I couldn’t be her anymore. I had to be stronger, braver, more aggressive.
I aimlessly lay on the bed, petting Hammy with one hand and tracing the outline of my phone with the other. Tonight was either going to be very, very good, or a disaster. And I honestly didn’t know which way I wanted it to go. Scratching Hamlet one last time under the chin, I headed for the closet. Choosing my skinny jeans and a black top, to keep things simple yet classic, I quickly dressed. My hair was still dripping, so I situated myself on the side of the bed, flipping my head over to scrub and towel dry my locks. My hair was beginning to wave, so I did my best to dry it this way. I knew Cade liked it wavy, and I felt my sexiest when it was this way, so it was definitely what I was going for.
I kept my make-up minimal, but lined my eyes black. The dark liner with dark eyes was a deadly combo. And I needed all my ammo handy tonight. Cade texted at 5-ish, reminding me he was alcohol free and we had plans at 7. This new Cade in the old Cade’s body was…odd. He contacted me first, he remembered our plans, actually acted like he cares. I always felt like he had feelings for me, deep down, but his actions spoke so much louder than his words. He could call me beautiful and kiss me all day, but if he didn’t remember to call or come by the next day, it meant nothing. It took him a year to break up with Jade after our first date. And he never came to me. He didn’t once ask me to forgive him and be his girlfriend…yet, here I was, killing myself to look and feel sexy for him. I shook my head at my reflection, “you’re stupid,” I told the girl staring back. I hated that my eyes were dancing with excitement. That he made me feel this way. I gripped the counter, almost to the point of cancelling, when my phone chimed.
Daphne: Let’s go out tonight.
Me: Can’t. I have plans.
Daphne: With who???
Of course she asked who. Daphne is too nosy for her own good. Me: Myself, duh.
Daphne: Are you sitting at home talking to the cat? Watching Twilight or Gilmore Girls or something?
She accused me like any of that would be a bad to be doing on a Friday night. Me: You know me so well.
Daphne: I’m coming to get you at 8.
Well, she would be in for a surprise. Me: Ok, but I won’t be here.
Daphne: Ha! We’ll see.
Yes, Daphne, we will see. I was going to be so much unlike the Francesca everyone knew. I was actually going to have fun with Cade. And I wasn’t going to regret it tomorrow. Nor was I going to overth
ink every word he said, or over analyze every move he made. He wanted to prove something to me? Ok, I’d let him, but I was taking it for what it was worth and nothing more.
Time had slipped away from me and I noticed it was surprisingly close to 7 p.m. I glanced out the window, thinking I heard a car but all I saw was a motorcycle. It was slowing in front of my house and my heartbeat sped up. Cade had a car…didn’t he? The rider stepped off, removing the helmet to show a glimpse of dark brown hair. His piercing blue eyes caught in the setting sun and I stepped back quickly, praying he didn’t see me peeping. Cade Kelling was here…on a motorcycle.
Mangled Hearts Page 17