by Erin Rickman
“But, Atlas. C’mon Blaire, he’s walking perfection,” he said exasperatedly.
“Jai,” I sighed. “Yes, Atlas is attractive, but he’s not you.”
“But he’s—”
“—just a work colleague,” I interrupted. “You are my everything and don’t you ever forget that.”
I felt guilt wash over me, but I wasn’t lying. Jai was my everything, and he had been my world for so long that I couldn’t be without him. That’s what it meant to love someone, right? I loved Jai. So then why was I feeling guilty? I wouldn’t even say that I had feelings for Atlas—how could I when Jai was everything I needed, and I adored him? I had never felt like our relationship needed more before, and nothing had changed, so I was sure I didn’t need more now. And yet, I couldn’t help but notice Atlas. Regardless, I couldn’t and wouldn’t act on any feelings, if they were there, which they weren’t. I didn’t want thoughts about him, nor did I wish to accept anything other than friendship. I was happy with Jai; he was perfect for me.
I placed my hands on his cheeks. At that moment, I remembered that Jai was strong, smart and intelligent. Regardless, he was also human. Jai was my best friend, my partner, my everything since we were children and I wasn’t prepared for this to change. His curls flopped over his forehead, and his eyes sparkled under the dim light in my bedroom. I lent in and kissed him.
It didn’t take long for him to kiss me back. He pulled me closer onto his lap, so I straddled him. His hands started wandering. I stopped kissing him for a minute, my hand on the side of his face, my thumb traced his lips. He was everything I could have ever wanted.
Later that night, I sat awake, the covers draped over my naked body. Jai slept quietly, his light breath tickled my neck, and every so often he would flinch, pulling me that bit closer. I couldn’t sleep, why I wasn’t sure. Maybe just one of those nights. I stared at my clock, and it was nearly two in the morning. I felt unsettled but couldn’t put my finger on it. Thinking about it wasn’t going to help me sleep; in fact, it was the very reason I was awake. I was caught in a vicious cycle of overthinking about nothing. Instead, I took to imagining what life would be like in a world where Kenji liked me, plus Atlas and Jai were best friends, giving him a well-needed confidence boost.
Chapter Five
September 20th 2024
We didn’t have a breakthrough until approximately six months later. In those six months, Hector and Atlas had become two of my closest friends. My initial attraction for Atlas was nothing more, or so I had tried to convinced myself. Kenji hated me maybe a little less, but we were never going to have an award-winning friendship. However, Maze had still not returned to the lab, but Van Wick passed on regular updates on her behalf. Jai was still by my side, as he always had been. To my surprise, Andy was with Henry and very much in love, and they had their trip to Paris, which sounded terrific.
There was no further movement of our knowledge on the Ishka virus, or at least that what I thought this morning. It was now around three in the afternoon. I was working in the lab with Doctor Van Wick, our efforts had started to run dry, and his frustration was evident.
“Another bone-idle test,” he sighed, exhausted.
“We’ll get there,” I reassured him. “We are this close.” I held my fingers millimeters apart to indicate my point.
“Are we though, Blaire?” he asked rhetorically. “Truth be told, we have no clue how close we are.”
I sighed, turning away from Van Wick. My phone buzzed in my pocket, Jai had sent me a text
From: Jai
Hope work is going ok, dinner tonight? xxx
I went to reply, but As if on cue, the outside lab door opened. Through the window, I saw Atlas. He was a sight as he entered. His chest was racing up and down, while his hair was dishevelled. I noticed his cheeks were flushed a deep shade of crimson. He had rushed over, so whatever news was waiting must have been significant. One of the first and most crucial lab rules was to ensure you have PPE on, at all times. Atlas rushed straight forward, bursting into the lab.
“Boss-man, you gotta see this, we’re onto something,” Atlas said breathlessly.
Van Wick looked at me before rushing past, moving quickly to keep up with Atlas. Naturally, I followed. It was a fast pace run to the office, and Van Wick kept up well for an older gentleman, I thought. I wondered what they had found.
I followed the two into the office. The chair that belonged to Kenji was situated next to Atlas’ at the latter’s desk. Paperwork spread across both mine and Maze’s desk. Atlas pushed past Kenji and sat at his computer, his chair flying into the wall.
“So,”—he took a large breath—“I was running the DNA sample from the virus that you extracted. At first glance, it looks completely normal right?” he asked, Van Wick stared at him, urging him to get on with his point. “Wrong. I started to look at the microbiology of the strand and found this, human DNA and any virus associated with it has the four base codes, A, G, C and T right? Well, this, this one has six. It has an extra pair, creating a whole new base. The bases would explain why no other vaccine we have tested works against it. They simply do not tackle the extra two bases.”
Doctor Van Wick pushed Atlas aside, taking control of the computer. “How can this be? This is—”
“Impossible? Yeah, we thought so too, but the evidence is there. Not only are we a step closer to finding a vaccine, but do you realise what we’ve discovered? A new set of nitrogenous bases, meaning the transcoding RNA will have opposing codes. We have just changed the way DNA is investigated and understood.”
“Holy shit.” The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them, instantly I slapped my hands over my mouth, not wanting to be unprofessional in the presence of Van Wick.
I watched as the older gentleman riffled through the papers that Kenji handed him, staring at the computer and back at the articles. The boys looked incredibly proud, and so they should have been. It was the first time I had ever seen Kenji smile; it suited him much more than his usual harsh frown.
Atlas looked at me grinning from ear to ear. “It’s Friday, I say this calls for a pub trip and celebration.”
I nodded while Kenji agreed, explaining he would inform Hector. Doctor Van Wick told Atlas and me to take a break while he had a further look at the newfound discovery. Atlas and I strolled to the front of the building in silence, but he had a spring in his step. We arrived outside and walked around the corner of the building, where he lit a cigarette.
“Jesus, I didn’t think you smoked,” I said, surprised. I had never seen him smoke before.
“I don’t unless I’m drinking, but this calls for a celebration!” he yelled, grabbing my arm.
“Then why do you have a packet on you?” I asked, confused. We were at work, and it was just after three pm, so obviously there was no alcoholic beverages insight.
“Because, B,”—he took a drag of the cigarette—“I’m a genius and expect daily breakthroughs.”
“Atlas Bracksworth, your ego never fails to surprise me. You’re much more intelligent than I gave you credit for,” I chuckled, nudging him.
He bounced like an excited puppy. “Stop.” He waved it off. “I suppose it wouldn’t have been possible without you and Kenji and boss-man, but yeah, I made the discovery.” He shrugged, grinning and showing his bright white teeth.
“Your head is not going to fit through the door when we go back in,” I spat out between laughter.
We continued talking about the possibilities this would lead to and how it may change the world of genetics. When we walked back through the building, I noticed the front desk was empty.
“I wonder where Hector is?” I thought aloud.
“Why? Does Blaire have a crush?” Atlas taunted.
“Eat shit,” I threw back. “No, his desk is just never not unmanned.”
Atlas shrugged. “Maybe he’s gone to the loo? Or, better yet, the boss-man is letting us go early, and he’s gone to get his things.”
Both reasons were
plausible. When Atlas and I arrived back at the office, Kenji was packing up, and Van Wick was no longer in the office; assumably he had gone back to the lab.
“We can go,” Kenji explained. “Van Wick told us to celebrate without him, he’s going to stay behind and keep working. No shock really,” Kenji sighed.
“Did you tell Hector?” Atlas questioned.
“He wasn’t at his desk, I’ve sent him a text. No answer, though.”
“Weird,” Atlas started to pack up his things. “That’s not like him, you know, to leave the desk empty and ignore his phone.”
“Maybe he went home sick,” I contemplated. “His smile wasn’t as wide this morning.”
“Unlikely,” Kenji scoffed. “He hasn’t had a day off work in the three years I’ve been here.”
“He’s a workaholic,” I laughed. “I’m sure we will catch him later.”
✽✽✽
Hours later, we were sitting in a pub called the Little Rose, which was small and old styled. The interior was dark red and brown, giving a Victorian-era vibe. The tables were sticky, high up, and surrounded with red and brown bar stools to perch on. The windows were made from stained glass using greens and reds, creating a beautiful pattern. The hours had flown by, and I hadn’t even noticed. Through the window, the darkness of the sky was obvious to make out. I appreciated the way the bright street lights made the stained glass windows shine.
I had suddenly remembered that I had never text Jai back, though, it was probably a little late now. I sent him a quick apology text explaining what had happened today. He congratulated us and said he would see me tomorrow, instead. I was glad he was not annoyed, the last thing I needed was an argument to dampen my mood. I turned my attention back to my friends.
To our amusement, the drink had gotten the better of Kenji, and he had been explaining for the last half hour that he should be leaving. It appeared Atlas was also starting to feel the alcohol, and similarly so was I. Kenji collected his things and said goodbye.
“I’m not ready for the night to be over,” Atlas laughed watching Kenji go. His facial expression turned serious. “Are you up for a little adventure? I want to show you something.”
I agreed and grabbed my things, trailing after him. It was a Friday night, and the centre was starting to bustle with nightlife. Atlas stood at the bus stop. I watched him as his eyes scanned around the street, smiling at a group of young lads who were taunting one of their friends for not getting into the previous club they had tried. To be fair to the young lad, he could barely walk and clearly went too hard at pre-drinks.
“You’re not going to kidnap me, are you?” I joked after watching the group go past.
“You’d like it, end up with Stockholm syndrome.” He leant against the post that held the bus sign as I sat on the bench.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked, genuinely interested in his planned trip for us.
Atlas shrugged. “You’ll have to wait and see.”
“Is this somewhere you take all your lady friends?” I joked, being no stranger to the stories of the nights with women that Atlas would share.
The bus arrived, and groups of young people exited the vehicle. When it was clear we got on; Atlas kindly paid for the ticket. It was empty. Regardless, I followed him to the back of the bus as he handed me a return pass. With a heavy thud, we sat. Atlas held onto the rail of the bus to steady himself, while I pulled my feet up, placing them on the seat facing us.
“Absolutely not. We both know you’re not like my lady friends,” he mused, winking at me.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I challenged defensively.
“Well,” he trailed off, taking a deep breath. “You’re not much of a lady, Blaire Mayres, and you mean far more to me than a single night stand ever would.”
I felt a slight tingling develop over me. “I do?”
He smiled. “Of course you do, you’re probably my best friend.”
The feeling stopped, of course I was. “Yeah, totally.” I rose an eyebrow and whispered, “are you getting soppy on me?”
“Maybe a little, or maybe I’ve realised that as my best friend, you may know my character inside out but really, you know nothing about me,” he chuckled.
“I do,” I protested
“How old am I?”
I thought for a moment, “Twenty-four?”
“Alright.” He shrugged. “What’s my favourite colour?”
“Brown, you always tell me you like my eyes,” I retorted.
He laughed. “I do like your eyes, but no. It’s orange, like the orange you see in a sunset or the colour of an orange Starburst.”
At that, we sat in silence. I realised I did not know much about Atlas’ personal life, at least, not the stuff that means something to him. The closest he had come to sharing his private life with me was the objects outlined in his tattoos. I had previously thought that I hadn’t heard much about Atlas’ family; in fact, it was because he had never spoken about his family.
Atlas was a closed book when it came to his thoughts and feelings. Due to his constant state of happiness and cheek, you would think he never encountered negative emotions. I suppose someone as happy as he can put just as much energy into negative feelings as he does the positive ones. Upon thinking, it explained why he and Kenji worked so well. They were complete opposites, ying and yang. It would justify why Atlas never grew tired of Kenji’s negativity and vice versa; every human needs a balance.
Eventually, Atlas rang the bus bell to signal we wanted to get off. He stood to his feet and held out his hand. I took it as he helped me up. His touch was warm and comforting, so much so I had to let go of his hand swiftly. We exited the bus, and I thanked the driver.
I looked around; we were well past the outskirts of town and now standing outside the entrance to a forest. The moonlight didn’t penetrate the thick trees. Atlas reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, flicking on the torch, and I followed suit.
“Do you want to explain to me what we’re doing here?” I asked. “You know, convince me that you’re not going to murder me?”
“Shut up, Blaire,” he laughed. “As I was saying on the bus. You don’t know me, heck, no one does. This is one of my favourite places.”
“Why?” I asked, stepping over a fallen branch. “It’s just trees, right?”
“No, it’s a lot more than that,” Atlas sighed as I continued to follow him. “I don’t talk about my family much, and there are many reasons for it. About ten years ago, my dad left. It isn’t the classic dad left for milk and never came back, there’s a lot more to it.”
“I’m sorry,” I lamented. As someone who had a full home and never experienced a broken one, I couldn’t fathom how it would feel, or the toll it could have on a person. I wanted to ask more, but decided he would tell me when he was ready.
It was silent for a little as we walked the trail. Atlas headed into the thick trees, off of the marked footpath and I followed. After a few minutes of concentrating on not tripping on tree routes and fallen branches hidden by dead leaves, we arrived at an opening.
In front of me was a small pond. Wild garlic scattered the edges of the body of water. At the head of the pound was an overhanging willow tree. Wild bluebells were evidenced on the opposite side of the pond, and their beauty continued further into the forest ahead. I noted to myself that those particular flowers were a sign that we were in a patch of ancient woodland. To the right of where we had entered was a large oak tree.
I looked at the pond and saw lily pads, reeds and various other water plants skimming the top of the water. On one lily pad sat a frog, the front of his neck moving back and forth, creating soft ribbits while calling for a mate. Pond skaters danced across the surface of the liquid, which reflected the quarter moon. Crickets from the surrounding shrubbery cooed. It was serene.
“Wow,” I whispered, taking in my surroundings. “It’s so… peaceful.”
“It is,” Atlas agreed, sitting on the edg
e of the pond, his back leant against the oak tree.
I joined him; below us, I could see fish resembling carp and koi. I assumed that they had been released and left to grow. The fish would pop up for air and fall back under with a slight splash.
Atlas let out a deep sigh as he stared up towards the stars. “You see that alignment of stars.” He pointed towards the Big Dipper.
“You mean the Big Dipper?” I clarified, after all, it was a clear night, and there were lots of stars in the sky.
He nodded. “They say they’re used to be another star, and one day it just disappeared.”
I laughed. “Stars don’t just disappear; it must have burnt out. Besides, I didn’t take you for an astronomer.”
Atlas shrugged. “They can’t find any trace of it. It just poofed. I dabble in astronomy. I suppose when you spend a lot of time looking up at the stars; you start to get curious.”
I watched Atlas as he stared up, wonder in his eyes. Beneath his joking facade, he thought quite profoundly. I wasn’t surprised, he was intelligent, and his brain was always ticking. It was a side I didn’t often get to see of him; our busy work life rarely let room for idle chit-chat, let alone more in-depth, thought-provoking conversations about the world.
“Do you think there’s any other life out there?” Atlas questioned, his voice soft.
I laughed a little, but his head snapped to me. He was serious. I wondered why he had bought me here to talk about the universe, but it seemed like the right place for it, this was an excellent place to think and it clearly held sentimental value to him.
“Well, beings as complex as us? No, I doubt it. Though evolution is an applicable theory planet-wide, I suppose. So, I guess that under the right conditions, bacteria’s or something could form, but not little green men.”