by Erin Rickman
Atlas shrugged. “The universe is infinite and ever-expanding, so we cannot be the only intelligent life form. I think there are other dimensions you know, maybe they’re exact replicas, maybe they’re different species. Don’t you think it’s weird how every culture, before man travelled and could communicate worldwide, had some variant of a vampire in their myths?”
I chuckled. “Well yeah, but maybe blood was some sort of ritual thing, maybe tribes believed it had healing properties. The blood of a younger individual is untainted and fresh, maybe that had something to do with it?”
Atlas shrugged. “I believe there was some sort of lizard overlord.”
I eyed him up and down, confused. “What?”
“Like lizard rulers—kings and queens. Just like the ideology of vampires in every culture, they’re also shown in a lot of old myths and recovered drawings. You know, we still can’t explain the pyramids, I think they have something to do with it. I often wonder if they left this dimension and went back to their own.”
“Considering you’re a man of science, you believe these things without evidence.”
“I am a man of science, but just because we can’t show evidence, or aren’t smart enough to work it out right now doesn’t mean it’s not there.”
I had to admire his thought process, it worked in an astonishing way. It was rare to find someone who could be both scientific and philosophical. I was purely scientific. I wish I could be asking more critical questions about the world, but, without the evidence, I couldn’t formulate a believable answer. Therefore, I had never put much thought into the theories Atlas was proposing. I suppose there wasn’t evidence for the ideas, but there also wasn’t attest to counteract the assumptions either.
It was silent between us, then Atlas said, “My dad bought me here when I was a kid, you know, before he left. I now come here to think, or just get out of the house. Deep down, I like to hope I would bump into him up here, so I can tell him what I think of him. He’s a coward. I bet he has a new family and they don’t even know I exist.”
I realised this was the real reason he bought me here, not to discuss theories on the world, but to talk about his world. I should have known when he mentioned his father earlier. I glanced at him; his eyes fixated on the pond in front of us. He was picking blades of grass and rolling them in his fingers. He was quiet for a moment; I assumed he was either reliving memories with his dad or deciding how much he wanted to expose his deep secrets. I could see the pain on his face, the inner turmoil over what he should say was evident.
“There was another woman,” Atlas said softly. “It wasn’t just my dad that left, he took my brother, Vince, with him. Vince is a few years older than me, but we never got on. I was probably the biggest contributing factor to him going with my dad.”
I thought about what my life would have been like had this happened to me. It would destroy me. My father was one of the most influential figures in my life, and despite the jealousy I held of my brother, I still loved and admired him. I would spend every day pining after half of my family if we had undergone the same situation. Something told me, this wasn’t all Atlas had to say to me.
“My mother, like most classic stories, found her way to the bottom of the bottle. Our relationship fell apart, the more she drank the angrier I got. She couldn’t stop reminding me of how alike my brother, father and I looked. Eventually, she couldn’t bear to look at me, let alone hold a relationship with me. She went from being my mother to a junked-up housemate. As the years went on the drinking went from being something to help aid her grief to a life-destroying habit.”
Atlas lent forward, turning his back to me, and pulled his shirt over his head, and he pulled his trousers to just above his tail bone. On the lower right-hand side was a deep white scar.
“She ended up on dialysis, kidney failure. As every good person would do, I gave her my right kidney,” he explained as I traced the scare with my fingertip. “That hasn’t stopped her though. The habit is still very much alive. She won’t get another kidney, not now she’s had one and the self-destruction is her fault. Her left kidney is on its way out, and it’s only a matter of time before she kills my one too. There’s nothing I can do,” he sighed, pulling his top down. I could see the raw emotion laced in his features as he turned around to face me.
“I had no idea,” I softly whispered, lost for words. The more I learnt about Atlas, the more my admiration swapped from being centred around his looks to his personality. Not only was he smart and attractive, but he had been through so much and cared so deeply.
“No one does, B, not even Kenji. We don’t discuss this sort of thing. You’re the only one that knows. I’m pretty ashamed about it all, to be honest,” his voice was low, vacant.
“Why?” I asked, shocked at his thought process. “Atlas, you saved your mother’s life. That is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“No, but a father that runs off, a brother that condones and follows this behaviour, and a mother who can’t get her shit together for the son she does have, is most certainly something to be ashamed of.”
“Your family’s actions are not a reflection on you. For God sake, Atlas, look at what you’ve achieved today. You did that. You made your career and qualifications with a lack of support. Now, that is a reflection on you. You work so hard, that is nothing to be ashamed of.” I leant my head on his shoulder. We sat in silence as Atlas mentally tore apart everything I had said in an attempt to comfort him.
“It’s probably why I can never let anyone too close, and one-night stands are satisfying enough for me. I know that way, I’m not going to get hurt again.”
“I understand,” I paused, “why are you telling me? It’s not that I’m not glad you have, but, you have people far closer to you. Why are you so sure I won’t hurt you?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m not sure, to be honest, but what I am sure about, is how you treat your friends. Over the last six months I’ve known you, you’ve shown me that your friends are your family; you hold so much love and respect for them. I can’t remember much about what family feels like, but I think it’s the way you make me feel whenever we talk, whatever we’re doing. So, I’m trusting that you won’t hurt me.”
“You can trust me,” I confirmed, squeezing his leg. Atlas looked exhausted. I suppose it was a rather large weight to haul off his shoulders. “Should you drink as much as you do with one kidney?” I wondered aloud.
“The occasional one is alright; generally, I drink alcohol-free stuff, like I did tonight. It’s why I never join in on rounds when others buy, if people knew they would start asking questions.”
“Your secret is safe with me,” I reassured him. “Hold on,” I paused, “you made me get the bus here when you could have driven?”
“B,” Atlas laughed. “I have to keep up the image, you know, pretend to get a bit wavy.”
“Right, well you’re a brilliant actor, I never suspected anything.”
“Years of practice,” he confirmed. “When you’re around drunk people, and you’re sober, there’s a lot you can learn.”
“And what about smoking and drinking?”
“Still all for the image. Plus, I got to have at least one unhealthy outlet, right?” Atlas checked his watch. “It’s like nearly two am. The last bus to town will be soon so unless you want to walk back we should get a move on.” I stared blankly at him as he rose to his feet, not wanting to move. “Come on, let’s go, I’ll drive you home after.”
I nodded and stood to my feet, dusting myself off. Atlas grabbed his phone from his back pocket and started to walk back using the path we came. I took another look back at the pond and followed him. We walked in silence. I was grateful he had opened up to me; it must have been a burden to carry on your own for years. My heart broke a little for the boy who was so happy because really, he was damaged, more than anyone realised.
Chapter Six
September 23rd 2024
I walked through the doors into work on Monday mor
ning. At the desk stood a woman, she must have been close to retirement. Her white hair pulled into a tight, sleek bun. She wore a white shirt with a blue blazer. For an older lady, she looked good with the work dress code. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I spun around to see Atlas, his brows furrowed.
“Hi,” I said, feeling slightly breathless. I told myself it was because he took me by surprise.
After Friday night I had spent the weekend reminding myself that I was his best friend, nothing more, nothing less. Not only that but that I had Jai. Though I found it was getting increasingly laborious to deny the way I felt.
Atlas eyes sparkled, his jet-black hair stood out in the white reception, it was disordered. Upon closer inspection, I noticed he had bags under his eyes, and his cheeks didn’t hold the usual rosy red.
“Atlas, are you ok?” I asked
He nodded for me to follow him back out the building, so I did. We walked for a few seconds to get around the side of the building. He looked around, staring at the walls before he lit up a cigarette. Anyone who knew Atlas well would be able to see he was acting out of character.
“You’re acting weird, tell me what’s wrong,” I pressured him.
“Hector,” Atlas whispered, I stared at him. “Look, I haven’t heard from him all weekend. Which is not like him, Hector is the clingiest friend going. He wouldn’t have not text me all weekend, and now they have someone else here. It’s a bit odd, don’t you think?”
“Woah,” I laughed. “Calm down, Mr Paranoia.”
“Blaire,” he snapped. “I’m serious; something doesn’t feel right.”
I pulled out my phone and tried to call him; it continuously rang until the voicemail arrived ‘Hi, it’s Hector, leave a message and I’ll call you back’.
I eyed Atlas up and down, he was stiff. “Okay, look, do you know where Hector lives?”
“Yes, of course I do,” he huffed.
“Why don’t you go around there tonight? Speak to him and put your mind to rest,” I proposed.
He nodded. “Yeah, good idea, will you come with me? If something isn’t right, then I’ll need you.”
I sighed. “Of course. What do you think is going on?”
“I have my hunches, but honestly, I’m not sure.”
“Maybe Hector has gone to visit his grandma and forgot to tell us,” I mentioned.
“No,”—Atlas shook his head—“he loves his grandma and would have told us, but it is plausible.”
He threw his cigarette on the ground and nodded at me in thanks. Before we walked into the building, he grabbed my arm.
“Don’t mention this to anyone, if something is wrong and he’s not visiting his grandma, then God knows what could happen.”
I rolled my eyes at Atlas being overdramatic. “Don’t worry, I won’t.”
His behaviour was strange, if Hector had disappeared for longer then I would understand, but he’s only been uncontactable for the weekend. Though, I did agree that it was odd that Hector was not reachable. Hector was someone who would text you before you had even thought about it. We were close and would often have communication through text; he was always quick at replying. Regardless, I had to put the thoughts to bed for now, so I did.
Work was busy; we hit the ground running, trying to break down the new parts of the DNA to explore the bases. We needed to get a better look at the genetic make-up, if we know what the bases entailed we could come up with a vaccine.
Atlas was waiting in the office for me at the end of the day, and Kenji had already left. We walked in silence to his car—an Audi A3 convertible. It was a comfortable car to be a passenger in and was also lovely to observe. The radio was controlled by the touch screen, which played an unfamiliar song. The car was his pride and joy, so it was well kept; for example, it always smelt like a new car. I noted that his car was an automatic. Atlas was still uneasy, his leg jittering, so I wondered if there was more going on than just Hector missing.
“Atlas, is Hector the only thing on your mind?” I asked.
He sat in silence. “Yes,” then he paused, debating what to say next. I assumed he realised I would pick up on his lie. “Well, no.”
“You look like you haven’t slept all weekend.”
“It’s hard when your mother does nothing but party and bring men back to the house,” he huffed. “I know I can be no better, but our house is not a crack den.”
“Look,” I started, “after this, do you want to come to mine, stay in the guest room tonight and just clear your mind?” I offered.
“No, it’s fine, B. Let’s just sort Hector out. Home is nothing I’m not used to.”
It didn’t take much longer for Atlas to pull up on the outskirts of town; I recognised the area we arrived in. In fact, it seemed Hector only lived a few roads away from me. Like myself, he lived in the more beautiful part of the town. His house was large, slick, modern. The entire front of his white house had grey-framed windows. There was a large balcony above the first floor, with a gorgeous looking grey table set. The front garden was fresh and bright green, clearly astroturf.
Atlas and I got out of the car, and I followed him up the path. We reached the grey door, so he rang the bell and within seconds someone answered. The woman who answered the door had long ginger hair, her skin was pale and scattered with freckles. Her eyes were a deep brown, and her smile was radiant. It didn’t take an idiot to work out that it was Hector’s mother.
“Hi, Mrs Rowlands, is Hector home?” Atlas asked, smiling wide.
“Atlas,” she smiled. “No, what do you mean 'is Hector home'? He’s been with you, hasn’t he?”
Atlas paused and shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen him since work Friday morning, haven’t heard from him all weekend. Could he be visiting your mum?”
Her face dropped, her eyes started to shine. “No, I spoke to her yesterday. This isn’t like Hector.” She paused, debating what to do. “Look Atlas, I will see what I can do, he can’t be far but keep me updated if you hear anything okay?”
Atlas nodded. “I will, of course.”
The door closed, and Atlas stood staring. I touched his shoulder, and he nudged me off. I swallowed, his cold shoulder hurt. I knew he was worried; it was evident. Maybe he wasn’t so paranoid after all?
“Do you still think I’m crazy?” he huffed, turning around and heading back to his car.
“Oh come on, Atlas,” I sighed trailing after him. “I know you’re worried, but he’s probably just run off for the weekend.”
“I’ve already told you, Hector doesn’t do that sort of thing, you should know this by now, B. Something weird is going on. This is so out of character,” he maintained.
I laughed in exasperation. “Alright, fine, say something is going on. What do you think it is?”
He opened the car door and got in. I walked to the passenger side and followed suit.
He pondered for a moment, “I don’t know.” I watched as his eyes darted back and forth, his brain ticking. “Hector’s not the type to get into drugs. He’s a big mumma’s boy, why would he lie about where he is to her? It doesn’t make any sense. We’re the only friends he has.” Suddenly, his eyes widened, like a lightbulb had switched on. “You know, we haven’t heard from Maze in six months, and now Hector’s gone off the radar too…”
“Where are you going with this, Atlas?”
“...and the company has a high turn around rate—”
“Woah,” I interrupted. “Are you implying our workplace is behind this? Now, now you do sound crazy. I know Alina, she would never do such a thing.”
“There are people in the company who are bigger, smarter and meaner than Alina. Think about it, B.” He theorised, I could tell he was frustrated.
“No, you’re being ridiculous. Anyway, Maze is at another lab and has been for the last six months, plus she sends us regular updates that Van Wick tells us about.” I assured him.
“Yeah, that’s updates and information we get told, we haven’t heard from her d
irectly. Has anyone else outside the company confirmed this? I haven’t had a call from her, not even a quick catch-up. How do we know it’s her updating the lab and not something they’ve made up? Hector’s texts to his mum aren’t matching up. Lucky enough Maze only lives another few roads away, let’s check with her husband, shall we?”
I eyed him up and down as he gripped his steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. His breathing was heavy. I understood that Atlas had attachment issues, but there could be plausible reasons for their absences. I wondered if he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. What do you do in this situation? Do you tell them they’re on the brink of being emitted to a psych ward or do you play along with it?
The car stopped outside a detached small bungalow. It was cute, painted yellow with flowers leading up the path. On the left was a gate that led around to the back garden. On the right was a large for sale sign. The house was empty.
“See, they’re probably moving to where Maze is,” I articulated, being rational.
Atlas sat, staring at the sign. Quickly he got out, and I mirrored his movements.
“Atlas, it’s empty,” I murmured.
Atlas continued to ignore me as he walked up to the large front window. We looked in. The house looked like it had been empty for a while, thick dust sat on the inner windowsill, condensation building in the corners. The room it appeared we were looking into was the living room. It was painted a warm yellow tone, much like the outside. A large, unused chimney sat on the right-hand side, a layer of dust collecting on the bricks.
As if on cue, a man in a black suit unlocked the gate from the back, walking around. He eyed up Atlas and myself. A young couple entered from around the entrance with him; they walked up to the sign and shook hands. After the young couple departed, the man turned to Atlas and me.
“Can I help you?” he questioned, a bright smile on his face.
Atlas walked towards him and stopped in front of him, and I stood slightly to the right to watch the scene unfold. I wasn’t sure what Atlas would say to the man, but I knew he needed to do it and get some form of closure.