by Erin Rickman
“Yeah, I need to ask you questions about the house. Well, its owners actually.”
“I’m sorry,” the man was unapologetic, “but client confidentiality.” He started to turn away.
“Please,” Atlas begged, his voice cracking a bit. “One of the owners is my friend, and I haven’t seen her in six months, I’m just worried about her.”
The man sighed. “If you’re worried, take your concerns to the police, not me.”
“Atlas, this is useless,” I softened my voice, going to touch his elbow.
He stepped forward. “You don’t understand, please, why are they selling?”
The man sighed loudly again, clearly getting more than he bargained for with Atlas. “The man selling the bungalow didn’t say much.”
“What about the woman?” Atlas pushed.
“I never saw a woman. All he said was that he needed a fresh start and memories here were too painful, that’s all I know. Now if you don’t mind.” The man walked away, and this time Atlas let him, clearly satisfied with the information gained.
Atlas turned to look at me, his eyes wide. “So Maze is missing too?”
“Atlas,” I snapped. “Can you just stop and be reasonable, she has moved around the world for her job, what if he didn’t want to go and they split up? Of course, it would be too painful for him to stay.”
“Look,” he grunted. “I’ve been at our workplace long enough; the company is sketchy.”
“You got this idea in your head this morning! You don’t have any evidence to make a claim like that.”
“You’re either going to help me find my friends, or you can run off to your pretty boyfriend and leave me to it.” His breathing was heavy; he was getting angry.
However, at the mention of my relationship, my temper drew the short straw. It was one thing for him to be acting crazy but to bring my personal life into it, without any reason, was another and I had finally had enough.
“Fuck you, Atlas,” I snarled. “I’m done with you for today.” I turned around and started to walk away.
“So you're going to leave me too? All you’re doing is proving to me that I shouldn’t get close to anyone, that Friday night was a mistake.” He was walking after me.
“Yeah?” I yelled, stopping dead and turning to face him. His manipulation made my blood boil. “Maybe it was. I don’t know what on Earth is wrong with you today, what’s gotten into you, but I am not going to stand here and let you rip on my relationship choices when you can’t even commit to one!”
It was silent, Atlas stood there, eyeing me up and down. I had struck a nerve just as he had done to me; as a result, his eyes glazed over. He went to speak but didn’t, instead, he turned away and marched to his car, swiftly getting in. I spun away and walked to the end of the street. His car shot past me, fading out of sight. When it had gone, I stopped to catch my breath.
I felt a stinging in my eyes, and my vision became blurred. A small gasp left my mouth. My chest grew tight as the anger was replaced by hurt. Atlas had no right saying what he did, but equally, I had no right to use something that he was so insecure about against him.
Atlas had been trying to pick up the pieces of his broken life, and I had just reached the shards first and chucked them out of range. Of course, someone like Atlas, who doesn’t build relationships often, is going to want to keep his friends on close tabs. His actions today came from his fear of being hurt; a fear I made worse through the results of my temper. I hurt him, he had let me close, and I hurt him. I didn’t know the extent of the damage I had caused, which made the situation worse. My actions today made me realise that I couldn’t push aside my feelings anymore as they were manifesting into intolerance, and I had to, no matter what, make this right.
✽✽✽
I marched back and forth in my bedroom. Jai sat on my bed, listening to me air my frustrations at today’s events. He had met me at mine once I told him that Atlas and I had argued. I pretended that he was here for support—and a part of him probably was—but really he was revelling in the fact my friendship with Atlas had come to a swift end.
“...so then he got in his car and drove away. Just like that. Who does he think he is? Atlas might be named after a Greek God, but really he’s just a child,” I seethed.
“Well, I for one, think you got a lucky break. Atlas was always going to be trouble,” Jai said in a soothing tone, but there was a hint of relief in his voice.
“Why do you dislike him so much?” I asked annoyed.
“Why do you like him so much?” He countered.
Truth be told, I wasn't sure what drew me to Atlas exactly but his humour was one of the more obvious reasons. So I went with it. “Atlas is funny.” I shrugged.
“Yeah, and so are cat videos, but when a cat scratches me I don't keep petting it.”
I glared at Jai. He wasn’t really helping. I wanted to be the one to down talk Atlas after his behaviour, and I was entitled to, but Jai was not. I knew he meant well, but for whatever reason, my hackles rose.
“You have no right to comment on my friendship.” I stopped striding, turned to face Jai and crossed my arms.
“I thought...” Jai trailed off, clearly confused to what I wanted him to say in this situation. I stretched my eyebrow further, prompting him to continue. “Look, if you make up, I’m sure it will be some time soon.”
I sat on the corner of my bed, the anger dissolving. What if we didn’t makeup? I knew Atlas could hold a grudge, and I knew this was going to be a long one after our friendship breakthrough on Friday at the pond. My words had clearly hurt him. I explained this concern to Jai.
“Yes, but you’re not the only bad guy here. Yes, alright, you said some hurtful things, but he pushed you to that. It is his fault just as much yours. Two to tango and all that.”
I knew Jai was right, but I felt Atlas would see it differently. Either way, I just had to hope he had a different viewpoint tomorrow. He might surprise me and run at me with open arms, but I wasn’t going to hold my breath; otherwise, I would suffocate.
✽✽✽
The next day, I went into the office early in the hopes I could catch Atlas alone before Kenji came in. It seemed I was wrong. When I entered the office, Kenji was already there. He looked up at me and turned away.
“I don’t know what you said to him yesterday, but I got a pretty distraught phone call last night.”
“What did he say to you?” I wasn’t sure how much Atlas would say, if anything at all. One thing was for sure; Kenji didn’t need to dislike me more than he already did.
“Not a lot, just that you proved him right. Whatever that means.” He shrugged somewhat uninterested.
“How do I make things right? He’s on the verge of a mental breakdown Kenji, and I have no idea what to do.” I sat in my chair, turning on my computer.
“Leave him alone.” Kenji turned to face me, his voice getting harsher, “since you’ve come along, he’s been all kinds of whack and—”
“Are you blaming me for his breakdown?” I snapped. “He bought it on himself.”
“No,” Kenji clarified, “he did that on his own—I know what he can be like. Regardless, I also know he’s into you, and no matter what you do, it will always have an amplified effect on him. So, if you want him to sort himself out, then you need to leave him alone and let him work out his feelings before you make it worse.”
“Kenji, this has nothing to do with how he feels about me.” I leaned in closer to him and whispered, “he thinks Hector and Maze have been abducted, or killed or whatever, by this company. Surely, you see how crazy it is?”
Kenji sat back in his chair. “Crazy, yes, but impossible? No. Look, maybe he’s onto something, or maybe you’re right, and he is crazy. Either way, he is a determined character and he will get himself into a wormhole. I’ve seen him do it a few times over the last few years. He’s had some crazy ideas about the world, sometimes they have been just that, but more often than not his hunches are pretty accu
rate.”
I assumed I wasn’t the first to hear of the many conspiracies Atlas had about the world, him and Kenji were close. Though, I was shocked. Kenji was more a man of science than anyone I knew, so I thought it would have beeen obvious that he wouldn’t believe Atlas’ theories. Especially the ones around lizard people running the world, and other dimensions. As I had stated to Atlas, scientists work on the evidence, which was lacking. So it seemed crazy that Kenji would entertain his ideas. Therefore, I was hoping Kenji would have agreed with me. I had highly doubted Kenji would have believe something as far-fetched as the company abducting our friends. Yet, here he was, saying Atlas’ hunches were often accurate.
“Are you saying you believe him?” I asked Kenji the disbelief evident in my voice.
“No, not exactly, but if it is true, then I wouldn’t be surprised.” He paused for a moment. “Atlas’ wormholes can be pretty adventurous but dangerous.” He slowly stood up and grabbed his coffee cup.
“How could you entertain his ideas, Kenji; we are scientists and work on facts,” I huffed.
“Good scientists discover new facts and knowledge in order to challenge current beliefs. After all, some of the best minds once thought the earth was flat.”
I sat back in my chair, reflecting on our conversation and a realisation hit me. Oh my God. My fixation on the matter of Atlas' sanity I meant I didn’t fully register what Kenji had said. ‘I also know he’s into you’. Atlas felt something for me. My previous inner turmoil around my feelings for Atlas had made me ignore any telltale signs on his behalf; I had settled for friendship. Though, I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t recognised the butterflies, or even that, maybe, I was a little happy right now. Regardless, I need to double-check to see what Kenji had meant.
“Did you say he was into me?” I asked.
“Has he tried to get you into bed?” He said unsurprised that I had finally caught on to his earlier comment.
“Well, I suppose we have flirted, but he does that with every woman—”
“You’re so dumb, why he’s into you I will never understand.” Kenji had enough of the conversation and left, no doubt to fill his coffee cup.
Then I realised, Atlas had never tried to get me into bed, we had only flirted. Was it because he respected me too much to just bed me and dump me? If so, was it because I meant more to him than a simple one night stand? In any other circumstance, I would be glad to hear that this was the case, and my heart would be doing summer salts, I would be freaking out, but not this time. Dread filled my insides, what I said to him last night would have hurt, more than I can imagine, and I needed to make this right.
As if on cue, the office door opened; Atlas walked in, and he looked me up and down, his face expressionless. He walked over to his desk, sitting down. It was almost like I didn’t exist to him, like I meant nothing.
“Atlas—”
“I don’t care, and I don’t want to hear it,” he snapped. His usual happy self was long gone, and my heart sank a little.
“Look, I wasn’t the only asshole last night,” I started, and he laughed a deep, pained laugh. “If you want to keep being like that then go for it, but frankly I can’t be bothered. I’m sorry for what I said to you, it was a total abuse of the information you trusted me with—two wrongs don’t make a right,” I regretted aloud.
“Look, Blaire, I don’t care about what you have to say. I have more important things to deal with than your guilty conscience,” he was cold, his voice hoarse.
“No, Atlas, you don’t mean that. I… I know how you feel about me,” I said softly, placing my hand on his knee.
“What I felt about you,” he corrected, removing my hand, “and even if I still did what difference would it make, would you break up with Jai?”
I was silent as I didn’t have an answer. Although I had battled with my emotions over Atlas and Jai, I had never given it a more intense thought. I hadn’t allowed myself too. What would I do, or even, what should I do?
“Exactly, so let’s just pretend the last few days never happened. We work together, nothing more, nothing less,” Atlas reasoned before grabbing his cup of coffee and leaving.
He was still angry, and emotions were running high. Maybe I should do what Kenji suggested and leave him to it. He wouldn’t trust me again, which was evident from his hurt behaviour. Even though Atlas was no better, I couldn’t help but blame myself for what had happened. I should have been more understanding of how his experience affected his behaviour. I decided, leaving him alone was the right option at this moment in time.
Chapter Seven
September 30th 2024
A week had passed, and there was still no sign of Hector. I had sent him numerous text messages but had no reply. His absence had started to worry me; Hector was always on his phone and a rapid replier. Regardless, I was sure he would answer me when he was ready.
I also hadn’t spoken to Atlas since the day after our argument. I had debated talking to him a few times, but he would act as if he didn’t know me. One thing was apparent, I missed him, and I missed how things used to be. I examined a sample under the microscope while Van Wick mixed up some kind of chemicals. Atlas’ words echoed around my head. ‘You’re either going to help me find my friends, or you can run off to your pretty boyfriend and leave me to it.’
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about our argument. I wasn’t going to leave Jai, but maybe if I helped Atlas, he would talk to me again. I still wasn’t sure if he was crazy, delusional, or perhaps even onto something. What if Atlas theory was true? I mentally scoffed, it was still too far-fetched. Though, where were Maze and Hector? I wasn’t sure, but one thing was obvious, I should find out as soon as possible. If there was a chance Atlas was right then only God knows about what might have happened to the two of them.
I had started to distance myself from Jai because of the guilt I felt around him. Knowing I had to process Atlas’ feelings was too much for me to bear, I couldn't do it with Jai around. A part of me wished I never knew how Atlas felt. Really, there was no sign of Atlas and I making up soon, so I should just brush off his feelings; clearly, they were not there any more. It was evident Jai knew something wasn’t right. When Jai had tried to speak to me about my current distance from him a few days ago, I had blamed it on my heavy workload and my current fall out with Atlas. I knew I should process the way I felt about both of them. I had played out countless scenarios in my head; all of them ended with hurt for either Jai, Atlas or myself (and in some cases, all three of us). Both Jai and Atlas were vital to me, and I didn’t want to see either of them get hurt, even more so I didn’t want to be the one to damage them. Therefore, trying to ignore the reality of the emotional situation was something I had opted to do—it wasn’t working.
“Blaire?” Van Wick asked slowly.
I snapped back into reality. “Yeah?” I asked, stepping back from the microscope.
“You don’t seem all there today, is everything ok?” he questioned, seeming concerned. I was taken aback, Van Wick was never one for small talk, let alone emotional discussions.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I sighed. I wasn’t going to open up to my boss about my love life drama.
“Blaire, do you want to talk about it? You’re no good to me if you’re floating around,” he pushed, though I could tell he didn't really want to talk about it. “Did you and Atlas have a lovers’ tiff?”
I snorted at his ridiculous suggestion. “Me and Atlas, lovers? No.” Though, I felt like I was trying to assure myself rather than Van Wick.
I pondered for a moment before saying more; if Atlas was right then telling Van Wick the reason we were arguing would not have been a smart move, it could put us both in danger. After all, if he was right, then what ever may have happened to Maze and Hector (if something did happen to them) would be the same fate we would fall to. I wasn’t the best at being coy but if Atlas was right, finding out some information would make us a step closer to finding Hector and Maze. Hell
, if I was to be hopeful, then he may even talk to me again.
“He’s just been really bummed about Maze, and I think he misses her. Do you know when she’s coming back?” I felt uncomfortable lying, and I was never any good at it. To distract from my awkward body posture, I began filling in the paperwork for the sample I was working on.
“No.” Van Wick’s voice was far away, he had obviously walked back to his station while we spoke. “She’s at the New York facility, and their virus is harder to crack. She’s one of the best, so I don’t imagine any time soon.”
“Oh, did she and her husband move to New York?”
He paused for a minute as if he was thinking. “Yes, as far as I’m aware. He would follow Maze anywhere. Nice fellow,” he noted the latter part of his speech out loud, but it was more to himself than me.
Silence fell on the lab as we both continued with our jobs. I thought for a moment, trying to analyse the information I was given. I remember the estate agent had said something about a new start, which could be explained with the move to New York, however, why was there painful memories on her husbands behalf? In the end, I wasn’t sure what I really gathered from the conversation, but if I could find the phone number for the New York facility and talk to Maze myself, then that would be a lead. It would either confirm Atlas’ crazy conspiracy, or shatter it to pieces.
✽✽✽
I walked into the car park, stopping and scanning for Atlas’ Audi. It didn’t take long to find it. The car was parked in its usual place in the back corner, a few cars away from mine. I walked over to his car and sat on the curb behind it, waiting for Atlas to arrive. Around ten minutes later I saw him as he sauntered across the car park.