Katya’s expression shifts to a look of worry. “Let’s go into my room.” She walks towards the door and shuts it behind the both of us as we leave. Once we are in her room, she shuts the door so we have some privacy. “What’s wrong? You look petrified. Tell me what’s going on, little dove.”
I hate that nickname more than anything. It was a nickname our mother gave me, I think, but it’s stuck over the years. It makes me feel weak, like I’m this fragile, tiny thing . . . and that irritates me.
I go to the bottom of her bed and have a seat, starting to speak as she walks over and does the same. “Do you remember all of those years ago when I was shipped off?
“Da. Sergei sent you away as punishment for something I did. I spoke out of turn, and sent you . . . the only family I had left away. It was only after months and months of correcting myself that he brought you back.” I’m shocked at what Katya is saying to me right now. He made it seem like she had done something wrong, when the reality is so much worse.
I shake my head, clasping my hands together in the fear that I’ll start shaking with anger. “He didn’t send me away because you behaved badly, Katya.” I say it clearly, my voice shaking when I say her name. I look away from her as I tell her the truth. “I was sent away because Sergei raped me and I became pregnant. He sent me to Italy to stay with the DiGiovanni family to have the child, and I was told a few weeks after she was born that I would never see her again. And, if I spoke about her birth, her name, or anything pertaining to her that she would be killed. After all, he has Natasha. He told me he had no problem slitting Larisa’s throat.”
Katya stands up, staggering backwards as she does. I know this is the ultimate shock to her, but I couldn’t keep this secret to myself any longer.
“You can’t tell anyone, please. I am only telling you this because I told Enzo about her . . . and I’m going to get my daughter back. It might not be today, but I think I will get her back Katya. I want her back with me, where she belongs.”
“H-how could y-you not tell m-me?” She chokes on almost every word, pulling her hands to her chest. She looks at me and all I can see is pain. I’ve never really seen my sister act emotional before, but it’s coming out so much right now. She’s always been so good at being a stone wall.
“If I did, my daughter would be dead. Knowing you back then, you would have gone straight to Sergei and demanded her be returned to me. He would have killed her instead. I couldn’t risk it.”
Tears are now flowing down my sister’s face, and I know better than to hug her. She’s not that type of woman. “All I ever wanted was for you to never have to experience horror like that. I thought I saved you from it, when reality . . . I put you in that position.”
“No, you did no such thing. The only person to blame for putting us on the path we went down is our mother. You and I did what we had to survive. We’re survivors, Katya.”
Katya nods her head once before rushing out of the room. I hear the clicking of her high heels against the floors as she runs away from me. I can only hope that she isn’t upset with me, but I have a feeling that she’s more upset with herself.
22
“She’s mad, but she’s magic. There’s no lie in her fire.”
-Charles Bukowski
Ksenia
I stand here feeling like I’m in some sort of sci-fi movie, like I’m under some sort of trance and can’t move. I just watched Katya fly through the door and dart down the hallway, and instead of going after her, I just stood here like a stiff statue.
Placing one foot in front of the next I leave her room, careful to shut the door quietly behind me. I make my way down the hall and stand at the top of the stairs, noticing the concerned stares of all the men. Dmitri, Slasher, Enzo and even Gianni. They can tell that something has happened. I had no intentions until this moment to tell anyone but Katya . . . although as I think more about it, I know it’s the right thing to do. We are a family, and even though I see this as being my battle, I know it is theirs too.
I put my hand on the railing and make my way down, taking one step at a time. In my life, I’ve been in some rough places and then homes that look like this – extravagance beaming from them. However, I’ve never been a fan of the grand stairwells that grace these homes.
“Everything okay?” Enzo asks, eyebrows peeking up.
He’s not dumb, after all. Obviously, he knows that nothing is okay. I can’t help but get snarky with him. “Does it look like everything is okay? I told her.” I keep it short, not wanting to state publicly what I told Katya in such a casual setting. I look to my brother, who’s leaning against the wall, keeping that plain, stoic face that he’s become a professional at keeping. “I think we should have a family meeting, one that Mariana should be on.”
He kicks off the wall, “Whatever it is, it’s that serious, huh?”
I nod once, solemnly. “It’s something I should have told you before. Something I just told Katya, and now I need you to know.” Dmitri has already pulled out his phone and taps away on it endlessly. I hear the sound of a text message being sent off, and one being received a mere moment later.
“She can call us in five minutes.” He states.
“Great. I’ll meet you and Katya in the study.” I head off by myself, walking down the vast hallway towards the study that our households. Upon opening the door, I see that someone has beaten me to it.
“I assumed you’d call a family meeting.” She says it lowly, and I can hear every ounce of pain through her words.
“I didn’t plan on it until I saw your reaction. I knew we’d need to sort this out.” I mutter, walking towards the window. I take a seat on the couch, pulling my legs up under my butt.
Katya moves her hand over her eyes, using her fingers to squeeze her temples. “I don’t understand why you could have kept this secret from me for so long. I could have been helping you, Ksenia. I have connections.”
Immediately, I go on the defensive. “No, you have Sergei’s connections. None of those are yours. They’re all his, and they’d be the first to tell him. This is why I didn’t tell you, because you assume your power would help, when in reality it would be her death sentence.”
Katya looks like I’ve just slapped her across the face, but I’ve only told her what is true. We know Sergei, the two of us do. I think we know two different parts of him though. He was always a vile creature to me, but before he harmed Katya, he showed her a docile part of himself. That didn’t fool me, though. I always knew he was a monster.
The door to the study comes open and I see Dmitri behind me. “I was looking everywhere for you.” He grumbles out to Katya. He enters the room and shuts the door behind him, locking it.
I raise an eyebrow at him locking the door. “What? Can’t have your knight in shining whatever come in. This is a family matter.”
“You’re right. It is, however, you need to understand that Enzo may one day be part of our family.”
I physically see Dmitri turning red with anger. “You’d better not be telling me you’re marrying him.”
“I will marry him if I choose to do so, brother. What I will not do, is be told by others what choices I can or can’t make in my life. He is the father of my son and will be treated with respect, regardless if we are together or not. I will never have my son see conflict between any of us. Do you understand?”
“You’re having a boy?” Katya asks, and I nod. She smiles sweetly, but I see something cross her face. It surely isn’t happiness – instead it’s the exact opposite. You can feel her pain oozing out of her. I can’t imagine what this must be like for her . . . Sergei was cruel and raped me, but he did something far worse to Katya. She was pregnant with his child when he decided he wanted to pursue another woman. Instead of allowing her to have the child, he forced an abortion on her and mutilated her ovaries to the point where she can never biologically produce a child. If she did, I imagine it would have to be done via an egg donor. As I’ve said, he is nothing but a m
onster.
I try to think about what to say to her, but no matter how much I try, I know that there are no words. “I’m sorry that you will never be able to experience this.” My words come out lighthearted, and full of love, but I know she doesn’t see it this way. Based on her expression, I can tell she believes I just slapped her across the face.
“It does not matter anymore. I have a daughter now.” She crosses her arms over her chest and looks to Dmitri, “Ksenia has something to tell you and Mariana. You’d best call her.”
Dmitri pulls his phone out of his pocket and calls our youngest sister. She picks up on the first ring. “Hello. How is everyone?” No matter the circumstance, her tone is always one thing – authoritative. There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that this woman exuberates power.
“We’re alright.” Dmitri responds, but I know he doesn’t believe it.
“Great. So, why are we having this chat? Ion and I have a full day planned dealing with an insubordinate clan leader.” It can’t be easy running the Romanian Mafia, or clans as she calls them. I would never want that type of power, but she was born into. Mariana had no choice. Her destiny was chosen for her long ago.
I speak up, “I called this meeting, Mariana. There is something that I must tell you all, and I need you to all swear to me that you will not say a word, ever. This secret stays within our family until we are ready to strike.”
“Okay, so what is the matter? I can tell this is serious by the tone in your voice.” I know that if anyone in my family will understand, it will be Mariana. She was taken prisoner as a teenager and raped by her abductor. He fathered her daughter, Bianca, and rumor has it that she was taken for a time. She and Ion had gotten her back, though, so I know that there is hope for me.
“I have been keeping a secret from you all for a very long time. It’s not because I wanted to keep something from you, but because I’ve been too afraid to say anything.” I look to Dmitri especially, knowing how angered he will become. “I have only kept this secret because if I were to speak up, my daughter would die.”
Just as I thought, my brother’s anger peeks out. “Daughter? What do you mean daughter?”
“Please remember, I did not keep this to myself to keep it from any of you. I will sum up the story, though. When Katya and I were with Sergei, there was a time, a little over a decade ago where I was sent away. Katya believed it was some sort of punishment for her misbehaving, but that wasn’t the case.” I make sure I’m looking at my sister instead of Dmitri, and as much as I hate telling her this, I must. I just hope she knows I am not punishing her. “Sergei took me down into the cellar of the home we were all living in. The one outside of Moscow, and for months he would shove handkerchiefs in my mouth and rape me. It resulted in pregnancy and I was shipped off to Italy, to stay with the DiGiovanni family until a few weeks after I gave birth. Sergei told me if I ever spoke of it to anyone, my daughter would die. So, I have kept this secret for a decade, but now that I am pregnant again . . . I know I want my daughter. None of you can say a thing to anyone, but I know I can’t do this alone. I will need your help.” I look to my brother, “I will need your help.”
“Sergei Kolosov?” Mariana asks.
“Yes, that is my ex-husband, sister.” Katya responds.
“From what I’ve heard, he’s been after Caprice DiGiovanni. She’s been missing for quite some time, but rumor has it that she’s holed up in Ireland and has caught the eye of Liam Mackenzie. Ksenia, I think a majority of our problems may be handled for us. I will call Desmond and speak to him later today.” Desmond. Who is Desmond?
“Who is Desmond?” I ask, needing to know this information before Mariana tells anyone.
“Desmond is the leader of the Irish Mob. I am going to call him and see what he can tell me about the rumors I’ve heard. If he states there is a problem with Sergei, I will simply give him the green light that the Clans are behind him if he’s to . . . Take care of it.” She’s giving Desmond the go ahead to kill him. She’s right in saying it would solve part of my problem, but not the entire thing.
Dmitri coughs, running his hand over his jaw. “We’d have to find her . . . Whatever her name is.”
“Larisa.” I say to everyone. “Her name is Larisa.”
“Is it possible that Natasha knows of her existence?” Natasha, who is Sergei’s eldest daughter. The one who has been held above my head for many years.
“No, I doubt that she knows a thing.”
“Ugh, he is a pig. One who needs to go to slaughter. If I have anything to do with it, he will be soon, Ksenia. Then we may work on finding your daughter. How are things otherwise? Still problems with that one MC man?”
“Yes, Max is still a problem.” Dmitri tells her, “We’re working on it now. Hopefully, we’ll be able to axe him soon.” He looks down at the phone, staring intently. “Little sister, whenever our war is over with Max, a new war will begin. We will find our niece, and may I expect help from some of your men?”
“Yes, of course. Ksenia, I know I am not there with you, but know that I have felt what you are feeling. It was only a short time for me, so I can’t imagine how you’ve lived with that agony for so long, but know we will find her. I promise, I will reunite you with your daughter.”
“We will speak with you later, sister. I’m afraid I must be going. Reed has called us all over to the clubhouse for church.” Dmitri explains to Mariana, but she still does not understand the politics that go behind a club.
“Be safe.” At that, the line goes dead and we are all left in the study alone.
Dmitri walks past me, “I have to go. Thank you for telling us. We will find her, Ksenia – together.”
23
The moral of the story that is no matter how much we try, no matter how much we want it . . . some stories just don’t have a happy ending.
-Unknown
Enzo
Ksenia went into a room to speak with her sister and brother, coming out a few minutes later looking a hell of a lot better than when she went in. That was about three hours ago, and now my ass is sitting pretty in the clubhouse. It doesn’t look the same at all. It’s packed, air mattresses and cots put up in every nook and cranny. Even those who have houses built like Seamus, Reed and Kyle have been letting some of the girls stay in their houses. They put cots wherever they can find room.
I didn’t see the full extent of what all of this has done until now. While my life might not have been thrown in the air and tossed around, these girls have. They lost some of their closest friends, and tomorrow is their funeral. We will grieve the ones we have lost, and then we will find the man who did this and make him burn. I still have a hard time believing their dead. Malvina, Nonna, Olga, Svetlana, Tamara and Polina . . . They were all one of a kind. They will deeply be missed, but their memories will be cherished until the end of time.
“We need to be careful.” I hear Nadia speaking to one of the other Russian dolls.
“It’s good to air on the side of caution, but why do you need to be careful?” Something in the way she said it gives me an eerie feeling. It hits deep in my gut, and my gut has never been wrong.
She looks around to the other girls who all nod, almost like they’re giving her approval. “They died an unnatural death, and in our culture, it means that bad things are coming.”
“What do you mean, bad things?”
Alena speaks next, “Violent deaths always mean bad luck. We might think that their deaths were bad . . . but whatever is coming will be worse.”
“Much worse.” Nadia adds.
Gianni sits beside me and looks at the two women like they’ve lost their damn mind. “Why would you two think that?” He asks.
A brunette haired girl named Zoya speaks up. She’s usually quiet, so it surprises me. “It’s our culture. Russian superstition, but is hardly ever wrong.”
Church is supposed to start in about twenty minutes, so we stay out in the main area of the clubhouse for a bit. Girls come in and out,
moving cots, re-adjusting the room, trying to make it look more like a home and less like a living room. Zoya passes me a few times and when she walks past me another time, I reach out and ask her a question I’ve been wondering since I’ve been here. “How are they doing?”
“Well . . . how does it look like they are doing? It isn’t good, and we’re managing. Losing them is like . . . losing our sisters. Most of us do not have families, so we are our own family. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I understand completely. Just know we’re going to get this bastard, Zoya. I promise you, we’re going to get him.”
I see a flash of emotion cross her face. But as soon as it happens, is as quickly as it dissipates. She looks at me sternly before speaking. “You will make sure he suffers a great amount, yes?”
“I promise you. He will suffer unlike any man.”
“Thank you. I must go. We must find some white clothing to dress them in for their burial.”
“Why white?” Out of curiosity, I can’t help but ask.
“It represents purity. Do you not follow the customs for burying your dead as we do?”
“Not the same I don’t think.” I look around the room and see a black cloth hanging over a mirror. “Is that a custom as well?”
“Yes. I will tell you how we bury our dead, and expect that you will pass this along to the others. You all must wear dark clothing, or black. We will throw coins and soil on the grave tomorrow at the graveside service. Reed has told me since he owns this land, he is able to bury the dead. He assured me not to worry and that he had a permit, whatever that may mean. After the service, we will all have a Russian feast, cooked by us here. While we grieve, we will celebrate the life that they led.”
Retribution: Skulls Renegade MC Book #10 Page 9