by J. M. Dabney
“Yeah, Troy said you’re at a friend’s place. Can I come?”
He wanted to hop on his bike and head straight home at the hopeful sound of her soft, sweet voice. When looking back, he easily picked out how selfish his life had become. He’d cared about no one but himself, he loved his friends and family, but he didn’t care what anyone had thought of him. Bella had changed all that, and he needed to be better for her—be an example.
“I’m not close, I’m far away, but you can talk to me whenever you want. Just have Troy call me.”
“I miss you.” Her sad little voice broke his heart. Maybe he should go home.
“I miss you too. I saw your bike.”
“Isn’t it pretty. Grandpa got it for me.”
He’d learned that it was easy to distract a four-year-old. Yet he also knew it didn’t last long. At some point, she’d realized he’d tricked her.
“Did you say thank you?” Her heavy sigh and Troy’s chuckle made him realize his daughter was rolling her eyes. “She’s doing it isn’t she?”
“Oh yeah, and that’s totally my fault.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I’m sorry.”
Troy’s apology didn’t hold an ounce of regret.
“No, you’re not.”
“She’s too cute. I can’t help it.”
“When she’s sixteen and not so cute when she does it, it’ll still be your fault.”
“I’ll take the blame then. It’s time for her bedtime story.”
“Okay, you’re all set at daycare?”
“Win, I pick her up as much as you do. You signed the papers when we enrolled her.”
“Yeah.” Win didn’t know what to say, but he knew he didn’t want to say good night. “Good night, Bella, I love you.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
“Bella, go say goodnight to Grandpa and then come back to bed.” She giggled and took off running. He could hear her little feet pounding on the hardwood floor. “You’re entitled to time to yourself, Win.”
“How did you know?”
“How many times do I have to tell you, you’re very easy to read?”
“It’s nice being out on the road with the guys, but I want to be home with her. I should’ve been there for her first bike ride and to see her—” Troy’s tsk’ing cut him off.
“You’re her dad, Win. You’re going to be here for years to come and all the big things. One week to spend time with your friends isn’t being a bad father. When she’s sixteen and wants to date the older tattooed bad-boy, then you can be a bad Dad and forbid her.”
“Oh, she’s never dating, never,” He muttered, and Troy’s laughter irritated him.
“Easy, big guy, you still have a few years.”
“You’re finding this too funny.”
“Maybe, but you know I’m cute, and you can’t stay mad at me. Besides, I’ll sugar her up before you come home and then leave you with our hyperactive”—there was a pause—“little Bella.”
“Troy—” He stopped. His mind blank for anything to say, well, there was plenty to say, but the implication of admitting the truth terrified him.
“You okay?” Troy’s concerned voice blew away the haze of insecurity.
“Yeah, I don’t know how to thank you for everything.”
“You gave me Bella, and that’s thanks enough.”
The emotion in those words was clear; he heard the love Troy had for Bella. It was as if Troy considered Bella a gift from Win. Then something hit him in the solar plexus like a sledgehammer. Troy and Bella were his family, joy and terror overtook him. “You really mean that?”
“Absolutely. Now, I’m going to read our girl her bedtime story. You go have fun with your friends, and we’ll talk to you tomorrow night.”
He didn’t want to say goodbye or spend the evening with his friends; he wanted to be home with Troy and Bella. “Goodnight, Troy,”
“Goodnight, baby.” There was a gasp and the call disconnected.
Did Troy just call me baby and hang up on me? Win stared at his phone until he felt someone watching him.
“Is there a reason you look shell-shocked?” Clay’s asked his tone amused.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, you saved my ass countless times growing up.”
“How did you get past it?” They both knew what he asked, they rarely spoke of the past.
“You never do, you just learn to deal with it. Accept it for what it is. We’re human, and we made mistakes. I was a kid trying to make sure me and my best friend survived. Didn’t help I was the clumsy, white kid in the neighborhood.”
“Nothing you did—”
“I caused the death of one of my best friends. He took that bullet for me.”
“I killed a man.”
“You were eighteen years old, Win, you were drunk, blasted out of your mind, and he wasn’t any better. I know it doesn’t make it better.”
“I don’t deserve them,” Win admitted.
“Who? Troy and Bella? Don’t be an idiot, Sanchez. One drunken, drugged out sin doesn’t make you a monster.”
“I consider them my family, them, not just Bella. Troy isn’t just my friend. It just hit me that I want more than I deserve with him.”
“What brought this on? Inside you were talking about him being your friend and Bella’s honorary uncle, what changed?”
“It’s stupid,” Win said with a smile.
“I’m sure it’s not stupid, tell me.”
“He called me baby.”
“Does he usually use endearments?”
Win shook his head in answer.
“Take a chance, Win. If you get lucky maybe this clumsy, ginger Irish kid has a chance.”
“You can be an ass sometimes; you know that, right?”
“Definitely. You and Samson practically raised me.” Clay’s huge hand shoved his shoulder. “Come inside, have a beer. Don’t worry too much…I think your boyfriend has it bad for you.”
“I doubt that. I can hope though.”
“Wow, Winston Sanchez showing a bit of faith, never thought it would happen.”
“Asshole,” Win growled.
“I’m short on charm, my friend. I’m a 34-year-old gay man who’s best friend is carrying his baby because this ugly mug can’t find or keep a man. I’ll be too old to enjoy being a father if I wait around to have a partner to share kids with.”
Win almost called bullshit on that statement. Clay wasn’t a handsome man, sort of baby-faced cute. The kid he’d known had grown into a man, yet had never shed the clumsy, shyness of youth. “You should move to Clifton.”
“I have been thinking of moving. Me and Elsa were thinking a change of scenery would be good for us.”
“If you do, let me know. Brent’s always looking for good men, and there isn’t much you can’t do.”
“I’ll keep it in mind. Let’s go back inside before Samson gets in trouble. He was eyeing the bartender, and this doesn’t look like the gay-friendly capital of the South.”
“You got that right.”
Win and Clay headed inside, and he groaned at the lust in Samson’s eyes. He wasn’t in the mood for a bar fight, then being escorted out of town. “We can’t take him anywhere.”
“No, we can’t. You got this, right?”
“Let’s do this,” Win muttered. This was going to hurt. He and Clay went to get Samson out of the bar, and he nodded to the other two guys with them. They took the signal. Please don’t let Samson loosen any of my teeth.
7
Thankfully, three days later Win hadn’t mentioned Troy’s little baby slip up. He bit his lip every night when he told the older man goodnight. Their nightly talks, short as they may be, became the second highlight of his day. The first one being having Bella with him. It was going to hurt when Win picked her up Saturday night. He set his book aside and lay down on the couch. Bella was currently sprawled out taking up most of his bed. The girl was a bed hog, worse about t
aking all the blankets.
His phone beeped.
Win: Is our girl already asleep?
Troy: Yeah.
He was surprised when the phone rang. Troy answered knowing who it was. “I’m sorry. I tried to keep her awake.”
“It’s okay. We took a detour, and we just now found a motel. Was she upset?” Win’s down tone plainly conveyed his disappointment.
“I told her you’d call her in the morning, so you will call her when you get up.”
Win’s gravelly chuckle sadly went straight to his dick. “Yes, dear.”
“Smartass,” he mumbled with a roll of his eyes.
“You rolled your eyes, didn’t you?”
“No, I didn’t,” he answered and did it again.
“You did it again.”
“Are you peeping in the windows?”
“No, I’m in a bed that’s more like a cot in a town that didn’t even have a welcome sign.”
Troy threw his arm over his eyes. He almost opened his mouth to offer his bed instead. He needed to get laid and soon. “Sounds scary, good thing you have that bad-boy-don’t-fuck-with-me thing going on.”
“I’m not that bad,” Win protested.
“Repeat that for me…I don’t think I heard you right.”
“And I’m the smart ass?”
“Yes, you are, how was your day?”
“Long, two of the guys had to head back home, work emergency. A contract and design dispute, the owners are being assholes about the layout they themselves picked.”
“That just leaves you with Clay and Samson.”
“Yeah, Samson is determined to get his ass kicked, along with mine and Clay’s.”
“What’s he doing?”
“He’s trying to get in the bed of every straight or supposedly straight man on our route.”
“Not picky huh? One ass is as good as another?” Troy asked. He laughed at Win’s exacerbated sigh.
“He’s never been picky, but I think he’s looking for a fight more than anything.”
“You tell him I said if you get hurt he’ll have to deal with me.”
“That’s cute. Six-three of pure pissed off testosterone versus the cute, freckled kindergarten teacher.”
“I can be mean when I need to be.” He smiled at Win’s laugh. It was exactly what he wanted to hear. “When are you going to be home?”
“We already made the U-turn. Elsa, Clay’s surrogate…she had to make an appointment for Friday afternoon.”
“I hope she’s okay.”
“I’m sure she is, but Clay is a big guy, and the baby is taking after him. She’s having some pains and Clay wants to get home. I’m not complaining. I miss my”—Win paused, and Troy heard the squeak of bedsprings—“Bella. I didn’t realize how much I’d hate being away from her.”
Troy sighed and shifted to get comfortable. “Well, she had a great day. I dropped her off at daycare, and when I picked her up, she told me all about her day. She has a boyfriend now.”
“What!” Win shouted.
Troy bit his lip to control his amusement. “Yes, he’s an older man of five, and he’s going to kindergarten this year.”
“You said I had years.”
“What can I say, our baby is beautiful.”
“You find this too amusing. You hate me.”
“No, I don’t.” Troy frowned.
“What else did she do today?”
“Well, after I picked her up and we talked about the boyfriend”—Win groaned—“we went school shopping.”
“She’s not going to school.”
“No, but I am. I needed new clothes and other things. She was a great help in picking out my t-shirts. I have a four-year-old approved wardrobe.”
“I’m scared to ask.”
“Nothing major. Okay, she found me a rather lovely hot pink shirt with Coloring Happens on it.”
“Only you.” Win cleared his throat, and the silence lengthened.
“Win, did you fall asleep on me?”
“Almost,” Win whispered.
Something in the answer made him believe Win wasn’t telling him the truth. He didn’t know if he should call the man on it or let it go. To be honest, as close as they’d become over the last few months, he still wasn’t sure of his place. Was he friend or a close acquaintance? Troy knew what he wanted. It just wasn’t meant to be. “Go to sleep, and we’ll talk in the morning.”
“I wish I was home with y’all.”
His heart kicked into overdrive.
“Goodnight, Win.” He swallowed hard and listened to Win’s soft goodnight. Troy wished Win was there, beside him, but as much as he needed it, it couldn’t be. Laying the phone on his chest, he stared up at the ceiling and longed for his life to be different. People could think him pathetic, yet it didn’t change what he wanted—to have the right to call Win and Bella his family.
The stench of nail polish remover, dye and whatever else filling the air burned his nose. He watched Bella as she sat in the chair getting her pedicure and manicure. Miller was in the chair beside her. Troy shook his head and smiled at the two of them. His phone rang, and he answered it without checking the display. “Hello.”
“Where are you?” Win’s harsh question took him by surprise.
“At the salon with Bella, why?” Troy asked.
“I came home, and you two weren’t here. You’re not getting her hair cut.”
“Of course I’m not cutting her gorgeous hair. She’s getting a mani and pedi with Miller.”
“Really?” Win seemed to ask with shock.
“Yes, she is a girl, and I may be gay, but I can’t put on polish to save my life.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“No, you didn’t. Are you coming here?” Troy gave him the address even though he didn’t answer him.
“Be there in ten.” The call disconnected.
“Your baby-daddy home?” Miller asked. His perfectly arched brows rose to disappear into his shaggy bangs.
“Don’t be an a-s-s.”
“You know you’d jump that man at the first hint of a yes.”
“Um, can we not discuss this in front of Bella?”
“Honey, have you even looked at yourself this week? You’ve been like Troy, the happy little homemaker. Taking the daughter to daycare, picking her up, bedtime stories and late-night talks with your man.”
“Miller,” Troy hissed. “Stop, now.”
“Fine, but years of lusting after the man…” Miller stopped thankfully.
“Troy, is Dad coming here?” Bella asked.
“Yes, sweetheart, Dad will be here soon.”
She squealed and danced in her seat, “He’s been gone a long time.”
“Well, sit still so the nice lady can do your nails or they’ll get messed up, okay?”
“Okay,” Bella whispered.
He hated when her voice went quiet. It took him back to when she first came to them. The last few days turned rough for their Bella.
“Bella.” He stood and went to her. Leaning over, putting them eye to eye. “It’s fine to miss your dad. You can be excited he’s home. I wasn’t fussing at you, I promise.” He placed his hand on her soft cheek and kissed her forehead.
“Okay, will he like them?” Troy glanced down at the pink nails that were getting purple polka dots on them.
“He’ll love them.” When the chime over the door went off, murmurs filled the salon. He glanced back over his shoulder to see what had them so fascinated. Win, he should’ve known. Black t-shirt, ragged jeans mostly covered by leather chaps. The man was a wet dream walking.
“Dad,” Bella squealed.
The stern expression instantly softened. Troy straightened and started to move out of Win’s way so he could get to Bella. A muscled arm slipped around his waist. He tensed and tried not to melt. Win bent over to kiss Bella.
“Hi, baby girl, I missed you.”
“I missed you. I can’t move. I’ll mess up my nails.”
“I see that. Hello, Miller.”
“Win, good to see you.”
Troy glared at the smug look on his best friend’s face. Miller got the same smug expression when proven right. He hated that damn look, but whatever Troy was going to think or say had disappeared when a huge, powerful hand squeezed his hip.
Win straightened, then lowered firm, yet soft lips to his ear. The brush of Win’s mouth against his skin made him shiver. “Hey, sorry I was short on the phone,” Win whispered.
His tongue was thick and stuck to his palette. Why would something so innocent seem like the most erotic action?
Speak, moron, his brain screamed.
Saved from replying by Miller, “You two go sit down, Bella and I are almost done.”
Troy stood frozen in place, trapped inside the nearly uncontrollable need to climb the man. Thankfully, Win steered him towards the line of chairs. The older man didn’t release him until they reached the seats. Troy quickly sat down to hide his uncomfortable and embarrassing reaction to what was an innocent gesture.
“Are you okay?” Win’s concerned question tugged him out of his haze.
“Yeah, yeah, this was my last week in the office, and I was helping Dad get caught up. I think I just need a nap.”
“Well when you get home you can sleep, you won’t have anything else to do.”
“It’s almost time for Bella’s lunch and her nap, and then I have dinner to plan.”
“I thought I would take Bella home.”
“You can stay for dinner, Win, I’m not ready to send her home yet, okay?” There was a strange smile curving Win’s mouth.
“Okay. The mani and pedi Miller’s idea?”
“One of the little girls in daycare with Bella had her nails painted. They were talking about Mommies, Bella said she didn’t have one, and the little girl told her only Mommies paint nails. Miller and I decided she needed her fingers and toes done.”
“That was uncalled for.”
“Win, the little girl doesn’t know any different. In her mind, everyone has a Mom. Bella seemed a little down yesterday, and she finally told me what happened last night after we read her story.”
“I should’ve been here.”
Troy didn’t think; he wanted to soothe the misery on Win’s handsome face. He reached out, laying his hand on top of Win’s and stroked his fingertips across the Rage. Win’s shoulders relaxed, and a heavy sigh pushed passed his compressed lips.