Ronnie ran out. Elmer shrugged at Ronnie’s unusual behavior. He busied himself with adding the money to his register. In doing so, he didn’t notice that the slip with Hazel and Carolyn’s names on it was missing.
Forty-one
“Hazel! Get off the grass!” Sally shouted.
Hazel didn’t budge. “I’m all right, thank you.”
“You keep staining your dresses,” Sally argued.
“I do my own laundry, and I don’t mind the stains.”
“At least get off the front yard and hide in the backyard. You’re embarrassing me,” Sally barked.
Sally found it bizarre that her sister spent most of her time in the grass. If Hazel wasn’t with the girls or at their parents’ house, she was in the yard. Most of the time, she was lying in the grass. She wasn’t sitting down, and she wasn’t on furniture. Hazel had to be in contact with the earth. Sally couldn’t understand it.
“I’m perfectly comfortable here. I’m also waiting for the mail. I’ll go hide after I talk to the postman,” Hazel snapped.
“What’s the big deal about the mail? You’re around everybody who writes you.”
“I’m not moving, Sally. Talk all you’d like.”
She groaned. “I can’t believe how frustrating you are.”
“How is this new? You grew up with me.”
Defeated, Sally went back into the house. Hazel waited. She hoped for a letter from Carolyn. It had been several weeks, so surely Carolyn had received her letter. Hazel made sure to write her return address clearly so Carolyn couldn’t make a mistake. Even if Carolyn simply wrote “Hello,” Hazel would be the happiest woman in the world.
Soon, the postman arrived. Hazel popped upwards. “Good morning, sir. You have mail for 18 Elm Lane?”
“I sure do, ma’am. Here it is,” he said.
She took the letters from him and flipped through the stack. Nothing. Grimacing, Hazel made her way into the house. She set the mail on the table and headed towards the backdoor. Sally was waiting for her. She had folded arms and a cross expression.
“I’m not feeling up to a lecture or argument,” Hazel dryly stated.
“Well, I am. I don’t care if you want to lie in the grass like you’re a country bumpkin, but I do care if you do it in the front yard. What would the neighbors think if they saw you?”
“Fine. If you’re that upset about it, I won’t lie in the grass in the front yard again. I’ll just sit in it.”
“I guess that’s better than lying in it,” Sally mumbled. “I just have one other thing that I need to say to you. And it’s not about the yard.”
“What is it?” Hazel asked.
“Who’s writing you? I know someone is. You wouldn’t be waiting on the postman otherwise.”
“I don’t have to answer that.”
“I knew it. It’s that someone from Debarr. You’re still in contact with him. What did you do? Were you with him while you were out there?” Sally interrogated.
“Why would you care?”
“I need to know if my little sister has been stupid.”
Fire flared in Hazel’s chest. “Stupid? Do you know what’s stupid? Marrying someone you don’t love. That is what’s stupid.”
“No, what’s stupid is having a lover when you’re already promised to someone. Do you know what would happen if Eugene found out? He’d call everything off. You can’t risk that. It’s awful of you to even think of ruining your relationship with him,” Sally snarled.
“Awful? That’s a joke. I find it awful that my family sold me to the Miller clan three years ago and put all of their problems on my shoulders. I was fifteen-years-old, Sally. I had a chance to make my own future. You did.”
“I won’t apologize for marrying Orville. I never have, and I never will. I am sorry that you’re the one who has to do this.”
“Sorry? You’re sorry? Oh, that makes me feel so much better.”
“What do you want me to say?” Sally exclaimed.
“I don’t want you to say anything! I want you to understand what you’ve done to me. What you’ve all done to me. You’re killing me. Hazel Mayer is dying, all right? Hazel Miller is on the way, and that fact makes me want to stand in front of a train. The only reason I’m here is because I love my father, which is something all of you have used against me. I shouldn’t feel like his would-be executioner every second of my life.”
“That’s not how we want you to feel, Hazel.”
“It is how I feel. You do everything that you can to make me feel guilty and obligated. If come even close to saying anything negative about Eugene, you remind me that my father will die if I don’t lose myself. That’s what will happen. I will be gone. Everything I am will be gone. But, someone has to save him, right? That’s what you say. Someone has to do it. I’m the unlucky one.”
“I’ve never heard you talk like this before. Did that man in Debarr fill you with all these thoughts?”
“My someone in Debarr showed me that I can have a life of my own. That’s something that no one wants me to have here. Now that I’ve been truly happy, it’s hard to sit back and take this. This constant pressure to live the life that you want me to live and be the woman you want me to be.”
“We can’t always do what we want, Hazel.”
“How funny coming from you, the posterchild for doing whatever she wanted. You found your love and you went for it, remember? You didn’t care what any of us said to you. You just did it because it felt right in your heart. I know how that feels, but I have no chance to go for it. Not like you.”
Sally lowered her tone. “You fell in love out there?”
“I did. It doesn’t matter. I have to do my duty as a good daughter. I have no choice, as you say. My family’s problems are up to me to solve.”
Her gaze traveled to the floor. “Little sister…”
“Do me a favor. Imagine what it’d feel like to have Orville, the one you love more than anything, ripped from you. Just think about how you got your happy ending, and then think about how I can never have mine. If you do that, maybe you’ll be less annoyed with me when I’m feeling upset.”
Hazel pushed by Sally to reach the backdoor. Outside, she flopped to the grass and stared at the cloudy sky. She did not cry. She felt that she had cried long enough. Anger was all that she seemed to know.
*-*-*-*
After her talk with Sally, Hazel did not want to go to her parents’ house. Eugene was going to be there because they needed to work on his suit for the wedding. Hazel wanted out of it, yet she wasn’t so lucky. They wanted her to help with fabrics and ties.
“Doll!” Eugene enthusiastically welcomed her.
When they kissed, Hazel hurt. “Hello, Eugene.”
“I’ve missed you. Don’t I look good? I’ve decided I’m keeping my army haircut. It looks so good on me that I had to beat back the Italian gals with a stick.”
“Yes. You’re dashing,” Hazel replied.
“You’re pretty too. I would change your hair. Maybe put it up or something,” Eugene thought.
“Thank you, Eugene. Your style recommendations are always on point,” she deadpanned. She turned her attention to the women. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Miller. Mother.”
“Hello, Hazel dear. Just wait until you see the ties we have. It’ll be hard to choose which one goes best with my handsome son,” Mrs. Miller oozed.
“I’ll be charmed, I’m sure. If it’s all right, I want to say hello to Father. I’ll be along soon,” Hazel said.
Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Mayer rolled Eugene towards the drawing room. Hazel went to the parlor. She was pleased to see that her father was sitting in his wheelchair. He was seated beside the window. There wasn’t much light on such a dreary day, but he smiled as if there were rainbows in the heavens.
“Father,” Hazel called.
He looked at her. “Hello, daughter. Don’t tell your mother that I’m up.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it. How are you today?”
“Better. Are you here to help with the wedding?” he wondered.
“Yes. I’m helping Mrs. Miller and Mother choose Eugene’s suit.”
“He’s here?” Mr. Mayer scowled.
“Yes. He’s here.”
Her father held out his hand. She gently took it. His voice was a murmur. “You’re too sad.”
“Hazel? We could use you now!” Mrs. Mayer shouted.
Grumbling, she let go of her father’s hand. “I should go before they get too testy. I’ll see you later, Father. I love you.”
“You’re too sad,” Mr. Mayer said again with a cough.
“Why don’t you go back to bed and take a nap? I’ll be along again later,” Hazel promised.
While Hazel left, her father stayed beside the window. “She’s too sad. Too sad now…”
Forty-two
Hazel and Sally were barely on speaking terms. It wasn’t that they were too angry to talk. Rather, they didn’t know what to say to each other. Sally started to see the situation from Hazel’s point of view. She thought of her baby sister being in love, and it broke Sally’s heart to know that they were taking that from her. However, just like Hazel, her love for their father overpowered anything else.
One afternoon, Sally received a sudden phone call. It was from her father. That did not make sense to Sally. Mrs. Mayer didn’t usually let him use the telephone. Then, Mr. Mayer asked that Hazel join him for dinner. He made it clear that Sally and her family should not attend. He always wanted to see Sally and his granddaughters. Yet, not that night.
Sally was perplexed and mildly suspicious, but she went to her sister anyway. “Hazel.”
Hazel peered over the edge of a romance novel. “Yes?”
“Father called. He wants you to come to the house at six o’clock for dinner tonight,” Sally informed her.
“Just me?” Hazel wondered aloud.
“Just you,” Sally confirmed.
Hazel’s brow knit with confusion. She knew that this was out of the ordinary as well. “All right. Thank you, Sally.”
“You’re welcome,” Sally nodded.
Sally left Hazel to her reading. Hazel spent more time contemplating than turning pages. She had no idea why her father wanted only her.
*-*-*-*
Hazel found herself on her parents’ doorstep fifteen minutes early. Before she thought to knock on the door, shouting voices stopped her. Even through the walls, she could distinguish her mother’s voice. It was screechy and desperate. Her father could manage only a few irate words at a time.
Stealthily, Hazel checked the doorknob. It was unlocked. She let herself inside and went unnoticed. Rather than interrupt, she decided to listen. She hadn’t heard her parents fight since she was a young girl.
“You can’t,” Mrs. Mayer said.
“I can, and I’m going to,” Mr. Mayer argued.
“So, you want to die? That’s your choice?” Mrs. Mayer pressed.
“That’s not what I’m saying,” he wheezed.
“Listen to yourself. Listen to how sick you are. You’re so frail. It wouldn’t take much for you to go downhill completely,” Mrs. Mayer hissed.
“You aren’t understanding me,” he growled.
“What’s there to understand? You’re talking nonsense,” Mrs. Mayer spat.
“No. You just don’t like what I’m saying,” Mr. Mayer came back.
“Of course I don’t like it. You haven’t even thought it through,” Mrs. Mayer disagreed.
Mr. Mayer huffed. “You don’t think that I’ve thought about it?”
“Obviously you haven’t!” Mrs. Mayer continued to yell. “Otherwise, you’d recognize the grave consequences and back down.”
“I’ve thought about consequences. You’re not,” he retorted.
Mrs. Mayer loudly scoffed. “I think about them all the time.”
“No. You just think about me,” he returned.
“That’s all that matters,” Mrs. Mayer said.
“It’s not. There’s more to it. Our daughter,” he disputed.
“You’ve gone along with this for three years. Why change now? Why change when you’re the worst that you’ve ever been?” Mrs. Mayer challenged.
“You pushed me into setting Hazel up with Eugene,” Mr. Mayer had to take a breath. “I said yes because I was scared. I’m not anymore.”
“What?” Mrs. Mayer repeated in awe.
He went on. “I’m terrified of killing Hazel’s chances.”
“What are you talking about?” Mrs. Mayer uttered.
“She’s so young. She should live a good life,” Mr. Mayer said.
Mrs. Mayer wouldn’t hear it. “She would have a good life with Eugene. The Millers will take care of her needs.”
“Not just needs. I’m talking about happiness,” he paused. “How can I live knowing she gave up her life for me?”
“She’s the child. It’s her responsibility to take care of her parents,” Mrs. Mayer simply said.
“She doesn’t have to. We can try Dr. Dickenson,” he reminded her.
“Dr. Dickenson is a quack,” Mrs. Mayer snarled.
“He’s a specialist,” Mr. Mayer contested.
Mrs. Mayer couldn’t believe her ears. “He’s a mad scientist. He wants to treat you like a lab rat, not a human being.”
“There’s a chance it could work,” Mr. Mayer disagreed.
“A slim one. This other treatment—”
“Forces us to stay with the Millers,” he coughed. “No promises that it’d work. Hazel would give up her life for nothing.”
Mrs. Mayer shook her head. “I can’t lose you.”
“But at the cost of hurting our daughter?” he asked.
“She’s a grown woman. She understands,” Mrs. Mayer replied.
“She threw up at the thought of him. And her eyes. They’re blank,” he panted. Mrs. Mayer moved towards him, but he jerked away from her touch. “Don’t. I can’t let her hurt. Can you?”
Hazel heard enough. She finally made a grand entrance. “I’d like to know the answer to that question too, Father.”
“How long have you been here?” Mrs. Mayer asked.
“A long time. Certainly long enough to get most of the story. Well, Mother? Are you all right with forcing me to live a nightmare?”
“You shouldn’t eavesdrop,” Mrs. Mayer sputtered.
“You’re avoiding the question, Mother.”
“You don’t understand, Hazel. He’s my husband.”
“I’m your child,” Hazel croaked. She swallowed the fireball in her throat. “I’d like one of you to please tell me who Dr. Dickenson is and why nobody has told me about him.”
Mr. Mayer replied. “He’s a specialist that I saw. He thinks he knows what I have.”
“He’s not credible,” Mrs. Mayer argued.
“He has a new treatment. He won’t charge us since it’s for research,” he continued. “It could save me.”
“It’s never been tested on humans. There’s no telling what could happen to him,” Mrs. Mayer added.
“But it would mean that you’re free,” Mr. Mayer explained.
Hazel looked at her mother. “You knew that there was another road? You knew that there was a way I wouldn’t have to marry Eugene, and you refused to tell me. You made me think this entire time that I had no way out!”
“Your father didn’t tell you either,” she tried to defend.
“Because you were forcing him to go along with your plan,” Hazel snapped.
“You went along with the plan too. You could have run away with some boy like your sister, but you didn’t. That’s because you want the same thing that I do. You want your father alive. The Millers are the only way to be sure that happens,” Mrs. Mayer answered.
“Not according to my father,” Hazel retorted.
“Hazel,” Mr. Mayer called as he held out his hand. Hazel went to him and held on. “Please.”
“Please?” Hazel repeated.
“Go. Ple
ase go,” her father whispered.
“You’re sure?” Hazel asked.
“That’s why I called you here tonight. To tell you to run. So, go. Run.”
“You can’t,” Mrs. Mayer hissed.
Mr. Mayer kissed the back of his daughter’s hand. “Thank you for everything that you’ve done, Hazel. I can’t ask for more. You shouldn’t look back. Ever.”
“You really want me to do this? You’re absolutely positive?” Hazel hesitated.
“Yes. Leave. Get away from the Millers,” he insisted.
“Hazel, he’ll die,” Mrs. Mayer argued.
“Everybody dies. I’m not taking my daughter with me,” Mr. Mayer growled. “Hazel, leave. Now.”
Suddenly, the biggest burden in Hazel’s life was lifted. She felt as though she could breathe easily for the first time in three years. Now, she truly was free. Free to go back home to Carolyn. Free to take her away from Debarr. She was going to do it.
“Thank you, Father. Thank you so much. I love you,” Hazel told him.
“I love you too,” he smiled. “You’ll always be in my heart. Now, hurry. Be happy.”
Hazel embraced her father. She pulled away from him with a sideways glance at her mother. She had never seen her mother sob until that moment. It did not sway Hazel. Hazel did as her father told her to do. She ran through the doorway and never looked back.
Nebraska was waiting.
Forty-three
When Hazel reached Sally’s house, she went directly to her luggage. She began to pack in a frenzy. She figured she could catch the night train if Orville would be willing to take her. Sally might try to stop her from leaving like her mother. That didn’t matter. If Sally wouldn’t let Orville help her, she’d walk. She walked just as far in Debarr.
Sally heard Hazel enter the house and rush to her things. She hovered in the doorway while Hazel shoved clothes into her bag. Sally’s arms folded. “I thought that I heard you. What happened? Are you going somewhere?”
“Yes. Home,” Hazel briskly replied.
“Nebraska?” Sally understood. “Eugene is going with you?”
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