Burning for You: A Steamy NYC Firefighter Romance

by Kaye Kennedy

  Her lips parted and then closed again.

  I shut my eyes and took another deep breath before opening them again. I needed to see her face when I said the next part. "You are the most important person in my life, Allie, and you know that I love you." I swallowed. "But I'm also in love with you. I have been for years."

  She blinked rapidly.

  "I tried not to be, but I am."

  She let go of my hand and rubbed her palms on her knees.

  "And I couldn't let you leave without you knowing that." My pulse drummed in my head. "Please say something," I practically begged.

  "I, umm..." She sighed. "Kyle, I..."

  My heart cracked.

  She shook her head back and forth and muttered, "Fuck."

  "It's not—"

  "Why now?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "If you've been in love with me for years, why did you choose now as the time to tell me?" A hint of anger laced her voice.

  "Because we'd agreed our friendship was too important."

  "And it's not important now?" She gestured exaggeratedly with her hands.

  "Of course it is."

  "Then why was it too important to say anything before, but now it's okay?"

  I ran a hand over my jaw. "I told you. I couldn't let you leave without you knowing the truth."

  Her hands flailed. "But what are we supposed to do about it, Kyle? I'm leaving for Michigan tomorrow. And I have a boyfriend for fuck's sake."

  "I know and I'm sorry. We don't have to do anything about it if you don't want to, I just needed you to know."

  "It doesn't work like that, Kyle. This affects our friendship drastically."

  "It doesn't have to." I reached for her hand but she pulled away. "Allie, nothing has to change. If you tell me you're in love with Austin and you don't want to be with me then I will accept that and we can just stay best friends."

  She chuffed. "You're delusional. Of course this changes things. We can't go back to five minutes ago and forget this conversation ever happened. I can't just ignore what you've said."

  I tugged on my hair. "Tell me what you need me to do, Allie."

  "I needed you to be my friend and now I don't know what to do."

  "What do you mean?"

  She got up on her knees. "I need to go."

  "Allie, please don't." I reached up to stop her from standing, but she shook me off.

  "I can't do this right now."

  I jumped up and grabbed her by the shoulders so she couldn't get away. My voice shook and I swallowed. "Please don't go, Al. Not like this."

  She bit her quivering lip.

  "It's fine if you don't want to be with me, I promise you." It would kill me, but I'd find a way to get over her eventually. "I'll never stop being here for you. As a friend."

  She squeezed her eyes closed. "Let me go, Kyle." Her words were a punch to the gut.

  Reluctantly, I released her and as she turned away from me and disappeared down the beach, my heart cracked in two. Overwhelmed with the need to scream or punch something, I ran back to my car and got inside before covering my mouth with my forearm and screaming at the top of my lungs.

  Some time later, I found myself sitting on the old swing at our spot wallowing in the pain. My intention had been to go back to my apartment, but my car had taken me to the park instead. It was the one place in the world where I knew I'd always be able to go and feel Allie's presence. And I desperately needed that.

  I wasn't sure how I'd expected her to react to my confession, but I hadn't fucking anticipated it going that badly. I'd pushed her to turn her back on our friendship and that hurt nearly as badly as losing my dad had. That might seem extreme, but she'd been a big part of my life for nearly as far back as I could remember. Hell, I'd known her longer than I had my youngest brother. I rested my elbows on my knees and lowered my head to my hands.

  "I had a feeling I'd find you here."

  My head shot up. I must've been so deep in my despair I hadn't heard her walk up.

  She had put on a tank top, but her feet were still bare. She dropped her bag in the sand and as she sat on her swing, she sighed. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted."

  "You don't have to apologize."

  Her being there was enough.

  "Yes, I do. It’s flattering when someone tells you they’re in love with you and I acted embarrassingly ungracious. It's just that you shocked me, and the past few days have been really rough. I'm emotional and I'm stressed out and I needed to process everything."

  "That's totally understandable." I desperately wanted to hug her to convince myself that she was truly there and not a figment of my wishful thinking, but I didn’t.

  She sighed. "I'm not happy that you chose tonight to tell me how you feel."

  "Sorry—"

  She put her hand up. "I don't want an apology. I just wish you'd been honest with me sooner that way we would've had more time to figure this out."

  I cursed myself for all of the times I'd wanted to tell her but had chickened out. "You're right. I should've, but I tried to get over you and by the time I realized that wasn’t gonna happen it was too late—you were with Austin. I was gonna let it go, but the closer it's gotten to you leaving, the more I realized I couldn't." I sighed. "I would've regretted it the rest of my life if I let you get on that plane tomorrow without at least trying."

  "Kyle—"

  "I meant what I said before. If you want to be with him, I'll respect that. If you don't see me as anything more than your best friend, then I'll respect that, too. But you understand I had to try, right?"

  "Yeah, I do, but I still have the same concern that I had sophomore year. Our friendship is important to me."

  I had one final shot and this was it. "It is to me, too, but I realized something. Our friendship is a relationship. We've been dating for years; we just don't have sex. Everything else though…" I took a deep breath. "Allie, we've got it all and you can't deny that."

  Her bronze eyes, while locked with mine, seemed deep in thought.

  I had to convince her. "We talk or see each other every single day. If one of us needs something, the other comes running, no questions asked. When we're going through hard times, we go through them together. We go on dates all of the time; we just don't call them dates. And most importantly, we love each other."

  She gave me a lopsided grin.

  My heart rapped against my ribcage. "Can you honestly tell me you've felt a connection with another guy like the one we have?"

  She shook her head. "Not even close."

  I smiled at her admission. "If that's true, then why couldn't we work? We've basically been doing the hard part of dating for a long time and we might argue every once in a while, but we've always worked it out. I can't see how changing our labels and throwing sex into the mix would change that."

  She bit her lip. "I leave for Michigan tomorrow."

  "I know. And I get that long distance is going to suck, but I have faith in us. I'm willing to try it if you are."

  "I broke up with Austin."

  I was taken aback by that. "You did?"

  She nodded.

  "When?"

  She kicked at the sand. "Half-hour ago."

  "Are you okay?"

  She lifted and dropped one shoulder. "I think so. It was inevitable. We've been fighting for weeks and we were both kidding ourselves if we thought we'd be able to handle the distance."

  I hated myself for being disappointed that she hadn't broken up with him for me.

  "That's one of the reasons I've been so stressed out lately. I think I've known for a while that things with Austin wouldn’t work out."

  "I'm sorry, Allie."

  "Don't be. Actually, I should be thanking you."

  "Thanking me? Why?"

  "Because when you told me that you were in love with me, I believed you."

  "Good because it's true, but I'm not following."

  "I don't think Austin was in love with me. Maybe he tho
ught he was, but he wasn't. Not really. Not like you." She sighed and I could tell by the way her face scrunched that she was thinking. Allie continued, "And also because my first thought was the fear of losing you because dating could destroy everything. My relationship with Austin was an afterthought." She got up and stood in front of me, resting her hands on my thighs. "But also because when you put us on the table..." She stared into my eyes. "I was intrigued."

  A smile slowly crept over me and I reached for her hips. "You were?"

  She bit her lip. "I am."

  A warmth flooded my body and I smirked. "Should we try another experiment?"

  She laughed. "Why not. At least we had the conversation first this time."

  Keeping hold of her hips, I stood, towering over her. "You sure?"

  Her hands slid over my forearms. "No, but isn't that what the experiment is for?" She gazed hungrily at me.

  I leaned down and she rolled up onto her toes, but I paused before our faces could meet. "I want to make you a promise," I whispered. "Friends first. Always."

  She laced her fingers behind my neck and echoed, "Friends first."

  I closed the gap and when our mouths met, everything about it felt right. My arms wrapped around her back and I pressed her body against mine as I slipped my tongue between her lips. She whimpered as she met mine with hers and we deepened the kiss. Keeping one arm wrapped around her back, I brought a hand up behind her neck and fed it into her hair. My fingers tangled with her strands as I held her head in place and kissed her with a fervor that had been building up for years. We breathed each other in, strengthening our connection, and I knew then that I'd be hers for as long as she'd have me.

  We took our time kissing, exploring, and savoring each other. Her little moans shot directly to my dick and I was nearly completely engorged. Given how close our bodies were, I knew she had to feel what she was doing to me. As badly as I wanted to take things further, I didn't want to push it. I'd kissed her because I wanted her to feel what I knew. I needed her to get on that plane confident in what we could be.

  It killed me to pull away, but I forced myself to do it. It took us both some time to open our eyes, but when we did, the lust in hers matched mine.

  "Kyle?" she whispered.

  "Hmm?"

  "Can we go to your apartment?"

  I pursed my lips in an effort to maintain some semblance of control over my rationality. She'd just broken up with her boyfriend an hour ago and I wouldn’t be her rebound. "I don't know if that's a good idea. You and Austin—"

  She put a finger over my lips. "Take me to your place." She grabbed my hand and tugged me toward my car.

  "Where's yours?" I asked, seeing the lot empty

  "Sold it yesterday since I'm not taking it with me."

  I opened the passenger door for her. "Oh. How'd you get here then?" I didn't like the idea of her having walked from the beach so late at night.

  "Lila dropped me off."

  I reached for her hand and held it the whole way to my apartment. Nothing had ever felt more right.

  We made it to my apartment in record time. I hadn't wanted to waste a single precious second. After parking on the street, I led her to the simple brick building that housed my new home. We walked up the three flights and once we were inside, I didn't know what to do with myself. I don't think Allie did either because she just kind of stood there in the middle of my living room with her hands tucked into her back pockets, while I leaned against the door.

  I broke the tension. "So..."

  "So," she echoed.

  "Do you want to watch a movie or something?"

  She giggled, which made me smile. "No, to the movie." She sashayed toward me. "Yes, to the something."

  I held my breath as she placed her palms on my chest and my nipples hardened.

  "We have some more experimenting to do."

  I brushed her hair behind her ear and left my palm pressed against the side of her head. "We don't have to," I whispered.

  She got up on her toes and placed a tender kiss on my lips. "No, but I want to."

  I grasped her head with both hands and tilted her toward me as I bent to meet her in the middle. There was nothing tentative about that kiss. We devoured each other like we'd been starving for it. Her hands migrated down my body. She slipped them up the front of my shirt, fingering my abs. Then she swept her palms around to my lower back and tugged me toward her.

  I spun us around and pressed her against my wall, pinning her with my body. I rubbed against her and she moaned as she arched her spine, letting me feel her boobs on my chest, as she brought her hands further up my back beneath my shirt. Taking the cue, I pulled away long enough to discard my shirt before diving back in. Her nails scraped against my shoulder blades and my cock hardened to the point of being almost painful. Reaching between us, I adjusted myself so I wasn't squished in my shorts. To my surprise, her hand replaced mine and she gripped my shaft over my zipper making me gasp.

  While she stroked me, I cupped her breasts and brought her earlobe into my mouth, biting down on the fleshy part. Her moans egged me on and I ground into her palm while I squeezed her nipples. Her boobs felt bigger than I'd remembered. They overflowed my hands and I desperately needed them bare against me. Reading my mind, she discarded her tank top and I immediately reached behind her to untie her bikini, freeing her from the material. My hands were calloused and rough, which only made the softness of her smooth skin more exquisite.

  She fingered the button on my shorts and glided the zipper down, allowing them to fall from my hips to the floor. I kissed her neck and along her collar bone, nibbling as I went, which made her jolt and elicited a particularly pleasurable sound all the way from her diaphragm.

  After kicking my sandals aside and stepping out of my shorts, I grabbed her ass and lifted her into the air. Taking the cue, she wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. I kissed her hard and then pulled away so I could see where I was going while I traversed the new territory to my bedroom. Allie's fingers weaved into my hair and she licked along the edge of my ear.

  Once in my room, I laid her down on the bed and covered her body with mine while we kissed some more. She left her ankles hooked behind my ass, pressing me against her center and I could feel the heat beckoning through our clothes. While grinding my hips, the head of my dick poked through the opening in my boxers. It rubbed against the scratchy denim, so I had to lift myself off of her. Noticing that I was free, she reached down and wrapped her hand around me.

  "Fuck," I growled through my teeth.

  She applied the perfect amount of pressure and it felt incredible, but knowing it was Allie touching me took the pleasure to an entirely new level. I stared down at her and drank in the sight of her creamy skin—from her flat stomach to her ample breasts, which peaked with the most perfect pink nipples. I rubbed the pads of my thumbs over them and she bucked beneath me from the sensation, so I did it again, getting the same response.

  I bit down hard on my lip because I needed to show restraint, but I'd waited four long years to be with her and my desire was much stronger than my resolve. With one hand, I undid the three buttons on her shorts and she lifted her hips for me so I could drag them off her. Once discarded, I reached for the ties on the sides of her bikini bottoms and pulled them loose, leaving her naked on my bed. Taking a moment to appreciate that, I let my eyes wander the length of her. Every inch of her was perfect. From the dip in her throat, to the swell of her boobs. The slightest hint of abdominal muscles poked through her soft skin, leading me from her torso to the neatly trimmed apex of her thighs. She was every bit a woman.

  "You are so damn sexy."

  She pressed her palm against the center of my chest and let it graze over my abs. "So are you."

  I licked my lips. "If we keep going..."

  Her fingers brushed my cheek. "I want this, Kyle. I want you."

  I exhaled. "You sure?"

  She nodded. "Yes."

  I smi
rked before kissing her and brought a hand between her legs to tease her slit, which was slick with need. Her hips rose, causing my fingers to slip between her lips. I'd planned on teasing her, but I couldn't endure that torture, so I slid a finger into her wet hole. She was tight and my cock twitched at the thought of how good she was going to feel wrapped around me.

  Pulling my mouth from hers, I trailed kisses down her torso until my tongue found her swollen bud. She gasped as I lapped at her pussy, tasting her sweetness and savoring the slick, softness of her. Her breathing grew rapid and I knew she was close because she bucked against my face, riding my finger and my tongue. I increased the pressure and that did it. She tumbled and fell with a whimper, trapping my head between her thighs. It was sexy as fuck.

  After easing my finger out, I kissed up her body until I reached her mouth. She didn't hesitate to taste herself on my lips.

  "Mmm." She dipped her fingers into the waistband of my boxers and grabbed my ass.

  I lifted away from her and gazed down into her eyes. The love reflected in her intense stare was all the reassurance I needed to know she wanted this as much as I did.

  "Are you still on the pill or do I need a condom? I'm clean." I'd always used a condom, but with her, I didn't want to. I wanted to feel every bit.

  She smiled. "We're good."

  After kicking off my boxers, I hovered over her, with my tip pressed against her entrance. My breathing quickened and judging by her parted lips and soft whimpers, so did hers. I was nervous, excited, anxious, but most of all I was happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long while.

  Our eyes locked and her lips pursed as she gave me the smallest nod. I reached between us to help guide my dick inside of her. I went slow, wanting to savor every sensation, and fuck she was tight. Almost too tight. Her eyes widened and I whispered, "Just relax. You know I'll take good care of you."

  She bit her lip as I thrust forward, pushing past her resistance. The gasp that came from her lips was not from pleasure and her hands pushed up on my chest as she sucked in a sharp breath.

  I froze. "You said you weren't a virgin."

  She panted and her eyes were wide with uncertainty. "I lied."

  Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. "Why?"