by Maren Cooper
Next, Cindy spent five minutes describing possible relationships that their firm knew of with other groups and hospital systems. Jess then concluded with her most important point. “Due diligence is as important at this stage as being honest about the reasons the group might be seeking a new arrangement. For instance, I would guess from Dr. Bright’s statement earlier that you may be having difficulty recruiting women to the practice. There are clearly ways to respond to that challenge without a full-on merger with a hospital system. So we’ll look at all of that with you.”
Jess noticed a couple of raised eyebrows and glances across the table. The possible upset of any practice always caused some nervousness. She gauged this group’s anxiety level to be about average. It was time to leave. The tires had been kicked and found solid, she hoped.
“We’ll be moving ahead, then. Thank you so much for your time. We look forward to meeting with you one-on-one in the near future.”
On their way out of the room, Jess stopped and whispered to Larry Personne, “Do you want a quick debriefing in the hallway?”
“Not necessary.” Ouch.
As they left the room, Jess saw that the doctor who had stopped the group cold with his question was watching her closely. She had a feeling this project was going to be complicated.
Chapter 31
Just as Jess was about to open the exit door, a man coming in opened it for her and Cindy. When she walked by him, he pivoted abruptly and asked, “Jess, is that you?”
She turned toward the voice. It was Jim Nathan, a colleague in Arthur’s department at the U. She hadn’t seen him since before his wife had died of cancer, right around the time when her difficulties with Arthur had come to a head. “Jim. Hey. Hello. Nice to see you. It’s been awhile.” He had aged, certainly, was more crinkled around the eyes, but he was still handsome.
“Uh, what are you doing here?” She focused and walked a few steps back to the entry where Jim waited. She thought about all the changes each had been through in the past year. There had been such reverberations in the department after Arthur’s departure that Jim doubtless knew of their marital breakdown. Everybody there did.
“I’m on the Goodmoor meeting agenda. The U surgery group, now Midwest Health, does some of their surgeries, and I’m here to discuss doing more. How about you?”
“We just met with the group on a project.” Jess turned to look at Cindy, who was waiting patiently. “Oh, forgive me. This is my colleague Cindy Newton.”
They shook hands, and Cindy made noises about the practice, but Jim just stood looking at Jess. Neither spoke. Jess’s face flushed. Finally, Jim said, “Well, I should let you two get home. It would be nice to catch up. May I call you?”
“Sure,” she said, entirely too quickly. She recognized in Jim someone whose world had also been rocked and instantly felt a common bond.
“Great. I assume you still live in St. Louis Hills?”
“Yes, but I have a new phone number.” She fumbled with her briefcase and finally fished out her card and handed it to him.
“OK, then.” He smiled. “I’ll call you. Have a nice evening. Great seeing you again, Jess.” Jim seemed stuck in place. Jess stood there too, until Cindy started walking toward the parking area.
Cindy stopped at Jess’s car. “Well, that was unbelievable. What just happened? He seems quite interested in you.”
“You’re imagining things. Jim’s just an old friend.” Jess took a deep breath. She needed to calm down and think. She headed toward her car door, but Cindy blocked her, folding her arms in front of her.
“Not so fast. Is he available? Those brown eyes are something. Oh my God, this is exciting!”
“Don’t be silly. As I said, he’s just an old friend. He lost his wife awhile back, and he knows about my divorce, so he probably sees me as someone to commiserate with.”
“Well, I don’t buy that ‘just an old friend’ bit for a second.” Cindy grinned.
Jess searched her pockets and briefcase for her keys, avoiding Cindy’s intense gaze.
The next night, Jim Nathan called to set up a coffee date for that Saturday afternoon. Jess found herself looking forward to the opportunity to talk with someone who was also just recently single, then chided herself for considering their circumstances similar. Jim had lost his wife to cancer; Jess had lost her husband to another woman.
But it wasn’t hard to find common ground. They met at a popular coffee shop midway between them. Casually dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt, Jim seemed years younger to Jess. Conversation came easily. They talked about rattling around in a big house alone, sorting through business matters to become single after more than twenty years of marriage, parenting college kids through disruption—all shared challenges. They laughed about how their longtime couple friends weren’t sure how to deal with them now, as if they had grown horns or something. “We just no longer fit the mold, I guess,” Jim said.
Then Jess changed the mood. “Jim, I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to Sally when she was sick. I didn’t know.”
“She was very private about it, and it went fast. A blessing, really.” He looked away briefly. “The end was rough. It’s been tough for all of us, but the kids are amazing. We’ll make it.”
“I’m sure you will, but still, I’m very sorry for your loss.” As she reached out and squeezed his arm, she thought about how difficult this would be for his kids, Marty, a college junior, and Joanna, the same age as Tom.
“And, Jess, I’m sorry about what happened with you and Arthur.”
“What do you know about what happened?” Jess couldn’t stop herself from asking the question.
“Jess, a third party never knows what goes on in a marriage, but after Arthur announced he was leaving, I heard the stories about him and the graduate fellow he was evidently involved with.” He held her gaze. “I’m sorry it happened.”
“Thanks. Me too.” Relief swept over her like a wave. Hearing him state the situation so clearly and without hesitation seemed to make it less extraordinary, cut it down to size. “But things do happen sometimes.” She smiled at him.
Before they parted, they laughingly agreed to stay in touch regarding matters of complexity in newly single circumstances. As she walked to her car, she said to herself, He was really easy to talk to— wow. That was actually pleasant. I could definitely do that again sometime.
That Monday, Jess launched the project team for the due diligence of the business side of the Goodmoor practice. There was a lot to organize, and it was a busy, productive week.
By the weekend, she was happy to spend some downtime with Claire and Diane and to cuddle little PJ. It wasn’t too chilly, and the pavement was clear, so Diane and Jess decided to get a run in before breakfast at Claire’s.
“Do you think she’ll have the coffee on, or should we give her a quick call?” Diane asked while keeping to her stride on their closing turn around the Soulard Farmers Market.
Jess laughed heartily. “Diane, my dear, it’s nearly nine a.m. on a Saturday, and Baby PJ has been up for hours. He may even be down for a nap. Believe me, his mother has definitely made coffee. And I brought some eggs and goodies from the bakery for us. They’re stowed in the car, so we should be set.”
Not only did Claire have the coffee ready, but she had also poured water and juice and was dressed and looking alert when she met them at the door. “Thank God. I really need some adult conversation. I fear baby talk is my default now, and I have to get fit for the office soon. Oh my God, did you bring cinnamon rolls?” The aroma was heavenly even before Jess put them in the oven for a quick warm-up. “How am I supposed to regain my figure with these temptations?”
Jess smiled. “Not to worry, Claire. I’m going to scramble some eggs and tomatoes, and we’ll share the rolls. But life is sweeter with a treat now and then, and you deserve it. Besides, I know you missed these.”
“You do know me well, Jess. Thank you. I love being taken care of.” They walked to the kitchen, and Cla
ire got out the tools to make eggs and chop tomatoes.
PJ woke up with a sweet whimper, and Diane got to cuddle him for a while before he insisted on eating.
“So, what’s going on in the adult world? Anything new?” Claire asked innocently.
Jess felt herself flush. “I think I’ve been asked out on a date,” she blurted out. “And I’m not sure I like it.”
Simultaneous shrieks from both Claire and Diane resulted in a blushing Jess’s having to dish the details. She told them how she had bumped into Jim, a former colleague of Arthur’s, who was now a widower. They had met for coffee to catch up, and it had gone OK. They had caught up on kids and their lives and offered each other condolences of a sort. And—
“OK, OK, let’s get to the date part,” Diane interrupted. “What did you say?”
“Well, I haven’t really said anything. There’s a message on my phone that I haven’t responded to yet, and—”
“What was the message? What did he say?” Claire asked in eager but muted tones as she began to nurse PJ.
“Dinner. He wants to take me to dinner. Doesn’t that sound like a date? You know, I’m out of practice, so I’m not sure. But it feels like it. A date inquiry. And it makes me uneasy. It’s different than just catching up over coffee.” Jess could scarcely admit her nervousness even to her best friends.
“Hallelujah and praise the Lord! Yes, my dear, it sounds like a date!” Diane was giggling like a schoolgirl. “The fact that it makes you nervous makes it the best kind of date! And you’re definitely going!”
Jess concentrated on chopping tomatoes and whipping eggs.
Claire joined in the giggling, and she and Diane dug out the details about Jim’s past and present, marital history, professional life, and, of course, physical appearance.
Jess answered all their questions formally, as if she were being deposed in court, but then hesitated before describing his looks. “He’s handsome and friendly, even chatty.” A softness came into her voice, and her friends both caught it.
“Honey.” Diane took her hand and looked her in the eyes. “Of course you’re nervous, but he seems like a nice guy, and it’s only dinner. He sure sounds like a better dinner date than the golfer would have been.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I would never have had dinner with the golfer. The fact that I want to have dinner with Jim is what makes me nervous.” And with that, they all laughed, and kept it up while Diane told them a few horror stories about dates she’d had over her many single years before she’d found George.
Jess promised to respond, to accept. But she knew she would put it off awhile. She needed to get comfortable with the notion of a “date.” What did that even mean nowadays?
Putting it off was easy. Jim was booked the following weekend, and that gave Jess time to think about it. Although she’d first felt drawn to Jim as a fellow victim of midlife single status and enjoyed the comfortable conversation they’d shared over coffee, something about how this evening was planned changed it from a continuation of the coffee date into something else. When she said she would meet him at the restaurant, he insisted on picking her up, even though it was a long drive for him. And his choice to go out on a Saturday night at eight made it sound like a date for grown-ups.
By the night of, she had decided to enjoy herself—I’m a grown-up, after all.
“So, tell me about this restaurant; I don’t know it,” Jess said during the drive.
“I don’t either, and I was hoping it would be new to both of us. It just opened three months ago, and I’ve been wanting to try it but didn’t want to go alone.” He turned to smile at her.
Jess chuckled to herself when she realized she was his dinner date in order to avoid one of the complexities of being single: solo dining.
The northern Italian food was excellent, but the service needed work. It made for an excellent backdrop to keep the meal slow and mellow as Jess and Jim shared news of their lives before they’d become acquainted as spouses thrown together occasionally at the university.
“I had a great childhood. My parents are still living and are super. Dad is a sports fanatic and follows all of the Florida teams. Mom’s health is a bit compromised by arthritis, but she’s still a ball of fire.” Jim laughed. “They were great about helping with the kids during Sally’s illness. Joanna adores her grandma.”
“So, you met Sally in high school?”
“Yes. She was my one and only girlfriend, and then my fiancée at the end of college at Duke, and my wife by the end of med school at Penn.”
“Wow, that doesn’t happen very often.”
“No, it doesn’t. We were lucky. Sally became an elementary school teacher and worked until we had kids, then stayed home to raise them.”
Jim motioned to a passing waiter for the promised basket of bread, then added, “Hey, I’ve been doing all the talking. What about you, Jess?”
Jess took a sip of wine and contemplated how different Jim’s childhood and marriage were from her own, and how much she was willing to share.
“Well, I’m afraid mine was not a storybook childhood. My parents were not well matched—abusive, actually. They were volatile to the extreme, and their divorce was excruciating for everyone. I left home during my senior year and haven’t been back since.” Realizing how tragic it sounded, she hastened to add, “But circumstances sometimes cause bold action. When I left with a full scholarship to Harvard, I excelled at school, got some counseling, and poured myself into my professional life.”
Jim took it all in without batting an eye. “That’s a lot to overcome. It takes incredible strength of character to get through that.” He poured her another glass of wine. “How does Arthur enter that picture?”
“Professionally, of course.” She laughed. “We were partnered to lead a medical team in the jungle and found we were compatible.”
“Hmm . . . So, this was much later, then?”
“Yes—clearly, after I thought I was over my childhood trauma and well on my way career-wise. I certainly didn’t expect to marry him. But we came to recognize the benefits.”
She looked up and found Jim listening with such care that she felt safe, and continued, “In many ways, it was a very successful partnership, but in other ways, it was not a successful marriage.” She paused. “I’m not sure I knew what a good marriage was, actually. And I think I stayed in mine longer than I should have, trying to avoid the pain of divorce and family dysfunction that I experienced.”
Jim reached over and took both of her hands in his. “Jess, you did nothing wrong. And it’s over now.”
She felt a sudden jolt in her body and then allowed herself to be enveloped in the warmth of his touch and the empathy in those sincere brown eyes.
When the waiter came by to tempt them with dessert, they ordered tiramisu to share, and coffee. Jess had a moment to reflect on how much she had just revealed to Jim, and how easy it had been. She couldn’t remember ever having talked to Arthur with such honesty. But somehow she didn’t feel exposed.
Over dessert, Jim lightened things up with funny stories of his trip to a Gators game with his son and father over the past weekend. It was after eleven when they left the restaurant.
On the drive home, Jess’s mind leaped to what it would be like to be driving home to one house, as a married couple, after a Saturday night out with Jim. She shut down that thought quickly, but not before she realized that Jim and Arthur were total opposites.
Back at Midwest Health, Roy and Matthew had made such strides in data analysis that they were now working with a preliminary prospect list. Jess spent some time with the duo over a couple of beers to conquer the generational divide. They were now speaking the same language and gelling as a team. She had given Dick Morrison a thumbs-up on the pair weeks before, and they were ready to move ahead.
She wished things were going as well with Goodmoor. The project was moving, but slowly. Larry Personne couldn’t get his people to stick to the original schedule, and Jess
had talked to him about it more than once. Finally, he had dialed back clinical time to get the last few physician interviews scheduled. That was not a popular move with the group, but it didn’t take long for Jess to realize he was not a popular guy. Meanwhile, her team at the firm was working on the audit.
“Thanks, all of you. Sorry it got so late. Thanks for staying on task,” Jess said as the due-diligence meeting concluded.
She stood to stretch and start picking up, when she noticed that Cindy was still in the room. “This is always the most interesting part of a project like this: figuring out how the group ticks. I’m still not sure about this one. What about you?”
“Well, I’m not sure we’re getting the straight scoop from the doctors, and I’m still not sure what’s motivating them to want to cozy up to Midwest Health. That’s the same question I had when we started this. But listen, I didn’t hang around to talk about that. What about your date with Jim?”
Jess looked up quickly and slowly started for the door.
“C’mon. I need to know how it went! I hope you finally had this date that’s been on the horizon forever. Tell me you didn’t cancel.” Cindy was up now and heading to the doorway.
“Oh, that. It was fine.”
“Fine?”
“Well, it probably helped that we delayed it for a while, since he and his son were traveling over a long weekend and I was busy with stuff, too. By the time it actually happened, I wasn’t really nervous at all. We had a nice dinner and may do it again some time. We’ll see.”
Just then, Cindy got a phone call and they both left. Jess was glad for the interruption. Her spine tingled to her toes. She wondered how much casual speculation she would have to deal with while she sorted out her own feelings about the date—both dating in general and dating Jim in particular.