“You’re real cute, sweetie. What gives you the right to think you can talk to me like that when you’ve already done so much shit?”
“Is that some sort of joke? What have I ever done to you?” I ask, furrowing my brows, confused beyond belief. Actually, I’m not confused. I’m pissed. “If I ever did anything to you I’d remember it. I never forget someone I’ve crossed.” I snap at her cockily.
She reaches her hand back and smacks me flat across the face. The bottom of her wrist hits my nose and all I feel is a loud pop with a jolt of pain. I pull my hand to cover my face, not sure what just happened.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I hear Chaos roar, charging in our direction. I think he’s sticking up for me once, being the big brother I’ve always needed him to be. But when he grabs me by the wrist and shakes me, I know I’m wrong. “Do I need to repeat myself? What the fuck, Angel?! What did you do?!”
I stand here staring at him, unable to say anything. Why is he assuming that I started this?
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He screams in my face, so loud that the entire room goes silent. Everyone is staring at us, all of the attention focusing on our fight.
I glance around, seeing the judgmental looks that others are shooting my way. There’s no possible way they’re doing it to my brother. No, he’s one of them. It’s all me. “Everything! I fucking wish you’d left me to die in that place. I wish I wasn’t even brought here in the first place. It’s not like you want me here to begin with!” I cry out, shoving Chaos quickly out of my way as I run out the front door.
I don’t know what I need most right now: air, or freedom.
Chapter Three
“To make a difference in someone’s life you don’t have to be brilliant. Rich. Beautiful. Or perfect. You just have to care.”
- Mandy Hale
Trick
Reed and I are in his office having a chat when all a sudden, I hear Angel raising her voice, and not in that good type of way. She sounds upset as all hell. He and I share a concerned look and I dart through the doorway, down the hall to see what the hell just happened. I’m met with seeing Angel’s small frame flying right out the front doors to the club and both Jenna and Chaos sharing a mutual look.
I approach them, anger already starting to boil in my body. “Anyone want to tell me what the hell just happened?”
Jenna rolls her eyes, “I might’ve gotten into a skiff with the clubwhore. I don’t get why all of a sudden we need them, we’ve never needed them before and all she’s going to do is stir up trouble with the couples.”
Chaos laughs like this is the funniest thing he’s heard in ages and it takes everything within me not to ball up my fist and plummet it into his mouth.
“Clubwhore? Angel is my fuckin’ ol’lady!” I hiss out at her.
“Oh? Well that’s unexpected. Angel’s always been a whore. How do we know she’s not just going to start fucking what doesn’t belong to her?” I’m amazed at the set of brass balls Jenna thinks she has, but I’m no idiot. There’s something more going on here.
“You two knew each other before she was clean, didn’t you?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
She shrugs, “We may have crossed the same paths a time or two. It wasn’t a pleasant experience for me.”
“Anything else happen?” I’m not talking to Jenna, it’s fuckin’ pointless to talk to her. This time my focus is right on Angel’s brother, Chaos.
“She basically said she wish she was dead.”
“Really?” I growl at him.
“She’d be doing us all a favor.” Jenna says under her breath. Does she think I can’t hear her? I’m over this shit.
I scoff at her. She’s going to understand how I feel about this situation here and now. “Listen to me here and now. I don’t give a fuck if you knew her when she wasn’t at her best. You don’t stir up any shit with her, and you sure as fuck don’t disrespect my girl. If you do, you’ll pay for it.”
With raised eyebrows, her expression grows cocky. “Good luck with that. I think Reed would have something to say about it.” It’s like she thinks she’s untouchable. But boy, does she have that wrong.
“Nah. Don’t think Reed would appreciate his sister being nothing but a fuckin’ cunt to a woman who deserves as much respect as you do. He’ll think it’s pretty fucked up.” I don’t stick around to hear anymore words that spill from her mouth. Instead I head out the door that Angel went through.
As soon as my hands push the door open, I see her sitting on the railing of the makeshift deck. She’s holding the column, or… well, she’s leaning against it.
“Angel,” I say coolly, approaching her slowly. I know that I only got part of the story about what just happened. Chaos didn’t say jack shit, and I’m not really one to trust what Jenna’s said. Honestly, I don’t give a fuck if she knew her before. That doesn’t give Jenna the excuse to treat her like shit.
She snaps her head around to me, tears flooding in a heavy stream over her cheeks. “What?!” I see her nose is bruising and now I’m wondering what the hell happened in there.
“Did she fuckin’ hit you?” I ask, quickly approaching her. I skim my hands over her face and look over her features. Angel squirms the entire time, my analyzing her obviously making her upset. I just want to make sure she’s alright. Even if we both know that she isn’t.
“I don’t belong here, Trick.” She completely goes into left field. “I don’t feel like I do, but it’s obvious. I’m not one of you and I never will be. I belong…”
“Shit, Angel. You don’t belong anywhere besides with me. And before you even say it, you don’t belong in the ground.” I skim my fingers along her cheek, careful to make sure it won’t hurt her one bit. “You might be a feisty bitch, but you have no clue just how special you are. Do you?”
Her eyes go wide, shock crossing over her face. “No part of me is special,”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Every part of you is special, even those ugly parts inside of you that you don’t want to admit are there. You have ‘em babe. I have ‘em. We all do.”
She remains completely silent, simply staring up at me.
I sigh before telling her what I know she needs to hear. “This. Us. It’s not for show. We’re a couple, Angel, whether you fully want to believe it or not. I think you know by now that I’m not the type of man who is going to say sweet shit just to say it. I say what I mean, and mean what I say. I know that being thrown into this life is something that you never wanted, that you never looked for yourself, but it’s where you are. But it’s important that you’re not in this alone. I’m with you every step of the way. For every good day and every bad one. I made a commitment to you, girl. One I don’t think you fully understand yet. Shit, I made a promise and I’m not sure if you know it, but I don’t ever break a promise.”
Angel doesn’t make a peep. My heart is beating heavy in my chest as I lay all this shit out on the line for her. Never in my life have I said anything like that to a woman before, not even ones I had been with for years. I’m in a new phase of life, though. I wrap my arms around her small frame and bring my lips to the back of her head. “I’m never going to let anything happen to you.” It’s something I know that no one has ever said to her. She’s never had the best people in her life from what I know, but shit does she need to hear it.
She turns her body around on the railing and brings her hands over my chest, until she’s cupping my face. I’m not sure what she’s doing, never seeing her become this quiet, this sincere in her movements. Before I know it, she’s standing up on the railing, bringing her lips against mine. Her touch is slow and loving, those soft silky lips of hers getting to know mine for the very first time. I take my hands and hold her firmly, showing her that I don’t want her to stop. I want us to both keep exploring one another in the way that we are right now.
I allow her to take the lead, knowing how quickly her mood always seems to shift. Sometimes, I don’t t
hink she really knows what she wants. So instead of taking the lead I’ll let her do that, this one time.
She slips her tongue into my mouth and mine meets her in a sweep of passion. I almost feel like a young man, like the very first time you kiss a woman. I’m sure as hell not a spring chicken anymore, but shit does this woman make me think that I am.
The sound of the door opening is enough to startle her, making her rip her lips from mine. Her eyes are fearful as she stares at the doorway. What she’s afraid of, I have no idea. I don’t give a damn about who’s coming through that door. I just stare at Angel and all of her beauty, “That was nice. We should do it again sometime.”
She giggles, laughing like I’ve never seen her before. So free in this moment, her guard completely down. “I’ll make you work for it.”
“Oh baby, I have no doubt that you will.”
Chapter Four
“I’m starved for connection, not attention.”
- Anonymous
Angel
I run my hand along my face at the sound of Trick’s alarm clock playing that ridiculous song. He still doesn’t tell me what the name of it is, insisting that one day I’ll finally get it. What he doesn’t realize is that it won’t click for me. I barely listen to any music as it is.
Rolling over, he lies on his back mouth open, snoring away. I jab him in the arm and wait, hoping that it’ll wake him right up. It doesn’t, but this man could sleep through a zombie apocalypse. I can’t understand why he thinks a low alarm on his phone is going to wake him up. Unlike him, I can wake from a dead sleep at the slightest shift in noise.
“Trick!” I hiss loudly, smacking him. He doesn’t even flinch. Bastard!
Finally, I roll over to the other side of the bed and toss my legs over the side. I get up on my feet and walk around the other side and throw the damn phone half way across the room, watching as it hits the wall. It shatters into a few big chunks as the sweet sound of silence greets me. I knew breaking it would do the trick! No pun intended.
A grumble greets me, “Was that really necessary?”
I throw my hand on my hip and turn around to look at the old fool. “Really? Your ears must be going ‘cause how in the hell can’t you hear that atrocity going off?!”
“It wasn’t even loud. Did you turn my volume down?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow.
Shit.
I knew his alarm would go off this morning, just like it does at seven am every day, so after he slipped into dreamland, I turned the volume down on his phone. “I knew you fuckin’ did it. If it was where it was supposed to be, my ass woulda’ been up.”
“Bleh-Blah,” I grumble. He’s probably right, but there’s no way in hell I’ll admit that to him. He’s got a big enough ego as it is.
He slides out of bed clad in his jeans and t-shirt. Last night being the very first time he slept in the bed with me. Trick has slept on the futon in the corner of our room until now. There’s a giant hole in the middle with the stuffing coming out, bumpy in random places and he tells me it’s fine. Somehow, I highly doubt that it’s fine. I know a few places to sleep where the concrete would be more comfortable than that. “Last night was… nice.” He says it like a girl would, making me want to laugh, but I don’t.
Looking over to him, I nod. “Yeah, it was.” We didn’t fuck or anything close to it. We kissed and cuddled like two teenagers with a crush and honestly, it had to be one of the most intimate experiences of my life. I’ve never had anything like that with any man, never have I felt so…precious. I could never find a word for it at first, of how Trick would make me feel.
In the very beginning he aggravated me. All he wanted to do was sit around and watch me, ask me questions, get to know me. But of course, I was going through withdrawal. I either wanted to throw up, or murder someone. Sometimes it was both, at the same exact time.
“I’m gonna go outside for a smoke.” Trick tells me as he walks out the bedroom door. I get up and put a bra on, knowing it’s pointless to try to go back and get any more shut eye because it won’t happen. Once I’m up, I’m up.
I walk out of our bedroom and go into the kitchen, stomach growling and all. For once, I’m alone. Normally there’s two to three people scavenging for food, needing to throw something in their stomachs. I open the cupboard that has the cinnamon cereal I like, grabbing the box and dig my hand in there, taking a handful and toss it in my mouth. I don’t need the milk, or the bowl. I’ll caveman eat this shit up any day of the week.
As I’m chomping the delicious sugariness in my mouth, I can’t help but think back to the previous day, and what Chaos did. He and I have always had a complicated relationship, ever since we were little kids… but what did I ever do to him where he wouldn’t try to comfort me after I said that the world would probably be better off without me? Pain would’ve never let me think that, but then again, Pain is the sensitive one. Chaos is just an all-out dick, there’s no wonder Maria needs them both. Pain is too emotional by himself, and Chaos is too much of a raging asshole, but together they must make the perfect man. Ugh, I’ll never understand their relationship, but I don’t have to. As long as they’re happy, that’s all that matters.
Yesterday’s flow of events circulates in my mind. Jenna’s expressions. Chaos’ tones. Trick coming outside to comfort me. If I know anything about being here, it’s that almost everyone doesn’t want me to be here. I feel so much like an outsider because I am one, and that won’t change. I begin to open drawers that I never have before and find some rope amongst a whole bunch of duct tape, pens and note pads. Ah, this must be the junk drawer. I stare down at the rope thinking about what I said yesterday, thinking how easy it would be to just die myself up and end it all.
“Sticking your filthy hands in my cereal, hmm?” Trick says out of nowhere. I jump at least a foot in the air before turning back to look at him.
“This isn’t just your cereal. Everyone can eat it. It’s not like you have your name on it.” I hiss out, shoving another handful into my mouth as I slyly shut the drawer.
He snickers, “You’d better turn the box around, Angel.”
I do as he asks, coughing as I see his name written awfully on the box. “You were saying?”
“Oh, shut it. It’s your job to feed me.”
“Mhm,” He mutters, walking over in my direction, he yanks the drawer open and looks inside of it. “What’s so interesting in here?”
I shrug my shoulders, “Nothing,”
“You’re a shitty liar. I saw you staring at the drawer for a good five minutes before I said jack shit to you. What was it? Were you staring at the rope thinkin’ how you could hang yourself?” His smart-ass remark is accurate and I can tell that he knows he hit the mark. “Jesus, Angel.”
“I don’t feel like I’m wanted here. I’m barely holding it together, and when stuff like… what happened yesterday pops up it just doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me want to…”
“What die? Or get high?”
I can’t help but feel judged for having the feelings that I do. “Both, I guess. Sort of.”
“Damn Angel stop worrying about shit. None of that is on you anymore. You know who the one person who has to worry is? Me. It’s my job to worry about you and handle shit. The only thing you need to be concerned about is livin’. Let me worry about the rest.”
He makes it sound like it’s such an easy thing for me to do, but it’s not.
It’s probably the hardest thing he could ever ask of me.
Chapter Five
“Sometimes painful things can teach us lessons that we think we didn’t need to know.”
- GoodLifeQuotes.com
Trick
I’ve been sitting in church for the last ten minutes, waiting for the stragglers to arrive. We’re only waiting on Reed and Seamus at this point. Even Dmitri showed up on time, and he drives in from a further distance. I’m not really sure how he mended things with Reed, but they did. Slasher is even forgiven for his actions, but he d
oesn’t come around too much. Only when absolutely necessary. Rumor has it that he’s working a lot with his girlfriend, Katya, on her side of the business. Who knows, that type of work could suit him better. If it does, great. I only wish him the best.
The door bolts open and in comes both Seamus and Reed, both gracing us with stern expressions. I take a closer look at Seamus and see his right arm is riddled with blood. I can bet you I know what he was doing. “Glad you’re all here. As you all know we’ve been keeping Rafael under lock and key for the upcoming auction. It’s going to come up quite quickly, so I need to make you all aware of what your roles are, but before we get into that there’s a few other logistics.” Reed gains all of our attention. I can’t speak for the others, but I listen closely. Rafael Ramirez is the former leader of the Mexican Cartel, if not the slimiest human on the planet. There was discussion on what to do with him when he was removed from the throne, if that’s what you want to call it, and it was decided that Rafael would be sold into damnation like many of the women he subjected the same fate too.
“With the help of Mariana Petran, we’ve secured the location to be an abandoned hotel on the outskirts of Nashville. It’s right off of a main interstate and provides plenty of parking for the amount of people we believe will show up. We are going to be assisting Mariana and Ion’s people in assuring that nothing happens that shouldn’t, adding to the amount of muscle. If anyone so much as makes you feel uneasy, or like they’re there to stir up trouble, you know what to do. Trick, Dmitri and Chaos will be working inside the auction.” Reed looks to the three of us. “You three will be the closest to Rafael, ensuring that no one tries to off him before he’s sold.”
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