Beneath the Veil of Smoke and Ash

by Tammy Pasterick

  “Is everything all right? Is something wrong with your father?”

  “No, Papa’s fine. Well, not really. None of us are.” Sofie looked away again, this time biting her lip. She seemed to be trying to muster the courage to say something. She shook her head brusquely. “You tried to find me?”

  “I did. When you didn’t answer any of the letters I sent, I got worried. I wanted to get back to Riverton right away, but I wasn’t able until two summers after I left.”

  “You wrote me letters?”

  “Tons of ‘em. I wanted you to know I didn’t forget about my promise. My pop was killed in a mine accident shortly after we arrived in Abbott’s Hollow. I had to stay there to take care of my sister and her mother.”

  Sofie grabbed Pole’s hand and squeezed it. “I thought you forgot about me.”

  Her touch sent a bolt of electricity through him. He studied her beautiful face and saw the flicker of light in her eyes that he’d missed for so long.

  “We left Riverton not long after you did. I gave all my old neighbors our new address in Beaver Creek. Mrs. Janosik and Father Figlar, too. I hoped they would give it to you if you ever came looking for me.”

  Pole sighed. “When I got back to Riverton in the summer of 1912, I was too late. Your block had burnt down, and all your neighbors were gone. I even went to the boarding house to see if Mrs. Janosik knew anything, but she was dead.” Pole shook his head. “Goddamn it! If only I’d thought of Father Figlar.”

  “It seems fate was not on our side,” Sofie whispered.

  “Why the hell did I not think of goin’ to the church? How could I forget about Father Figlar? That’s my punishment for not being a good Catholic, I guess.”

  “Stop being so hard on yourself.” Sofie stroked Pole’s thumb with her own. “You were a young kid carrying the burdens of a grown man.” She went silent for a moment. “I’m sorry about your father.”

  “He wasn’t much of a loss. I know that’s a terrible thing to say, but I think me and my sister are better off without him.”

  “I understand,” Sofie said. She glanced upward, an anguished look on her face. “You know, I went looking for you, too,” she said, turning back to Pole.

  “You did?”

  “A few years after we moved away, I begged my father to take me back to Riverton to see if we could find out what happened to you. But no one at the boarding house knew who you were, and my old neighborhood was being rebuilt by Russians. We finally saw some of our old neighbors at church, but they hadn’t seen you in years.”

  “If I had just gone to your church, maybe we could’ve found each other sooner,” Pole grumbled.

  “It doesn’t matter. You’re here now.” Sofie smiled warmly. “I’m so thankful you ran into Lukas.”

  “Do you want to tell me what’s goin’ on with your family? I have a feeling that burst of tears on the front porch wasn’t entirely about me. Though I’d like to think so,” Pole said with a wink.

  “Why don’t you talk to Pole?” Aunt Anna said to Sofie as she entered the room carrying a tray of tea and cookies. “It’s been almost two weeks. You won’t talk to me. You won’t talk to your father. It’s time you confided in someone.”

  “That’s enough, Aunt Anna,” Sofie said gruffly.

  “I know you’re having a hard time with our predicament, but you can’t stay locked in your room forever. Pole, will you please get her to open up to you? If anyone can reach Sofie, I think it’s you. God sent you here exactly when she needed you.”

  “God always has a plan. I’ve been telling my brother that for years,” Lily said as she entered the parlor.

  Pole frowned at his sister. “Now’s not the time to preach, sis. But I would like to help Sofie any way I can.” He got up from his chair and pulled Sofie to her feet. They were still holding hands. “Mrs. Toth, can you save the tea and cookies for later? We’re goin’ for a walk.”

  “That sounds like a lovely idea. But make sure to bundle up. Lily can stay here and help me bake. You and your sister will be joining us for dinner, won’t you, Pole?” Aunt Anna asked.

  “Yes. That would be nice. Thank you.”

  “Have you found a place to stay yet? I’d offer you a room, but the house is full at the moment. Mrs. Walker has a few spare rooms down the street. I can make the arrangements for you.”

  “Thanks, Mrs. Toth. That’s very kind of you.”

  “And please stop calling me that. I’m Aunt Anna to you, too.” She rushed over and gave Pole another forceful hug. “Seeing you again has made me so happy. What an unexpected gift!”

  Pole blushed. Feeling appreciated was a bit foreign to him, but it was a welcome change. As he watched Sofie pull her coat out of the hall closet, he felt completely at peace for the first time in years. She hadn’t forgotten him. She had even gone back to Riverton to try to find him. It was more than he had hoped for.

  He was so relieved he and Sofie still shared a special connection despite their seven-year separation. He had felt it the moment she’d touched him. Pole suddenly thought of what Hamish had said to him in the mine—that he would know when the right girl had come along. After seeing Sofie’s sweet face again and holding her in his arms, he wondered whether he was a fool to think he’d found the right girl.

  Forty-Four

  SOFIE

  BEAVER CREEK, NOVEMBER 23, 1917

  As Sofie walked the path along the river with Pole, she was overwhelmed with emotion. The upheaval in her life during the past couple of weeks was hard to comprehend. First Karina’s return and then Pole’s. It was as if her past was coming back to haunt her. The people who’d had such a profound impact on her early childhood and had been inexplicably absent from her life for so long were now back, reopening old wounds. But unlike the wounds her mother had inflicted, the trauma from Pole’s absence could be healed. Their friendship could be rekindled. The thought of it was coaxing Sofie out of the dark place she had retreated to since her mother’s return.

  She fixed her gaze on Pole, who smiled at her sweetly. She couldn’t believe the boy she had last seen at the age of nearly thirteen had grown to such an enormous height. He was at least as tall as her six-foot-two-inch father, but much broader with muscular arms and shoulders. Pole was intimidating. But his wavy, brown hair and kind green eyes took Sofie’s breath away. She was looking at the same face she had gazed at countless times at the fishing hole. It was simply a more mature, weathered version. She wondered if she should pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

  “You’re so quiet, Sof. What are you thinkin’ about?”

  Sofie tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, hoping Pole could not read her mind. “Lots of stuff,” she said casually. She dared not reveal that she’d been analyzing his physique. “I don’t know where to begin.”

  “Why don’t you start with what’s going on with your family. Your aunt said you haven’t talked to her or your father for weeks. What happened?”

  Sofie froze. The thought of talking about her mother made her cringe, but she was tired of suffering in silence. Pole was the only person who had understood her problems with her mother when they were young. If anyone could help, it was him. Without thinking, she grabbed his hand and led him over to a boulder alongside the trail.

  “What I’m about to tell you is shocking. I’ve been too angry to discuss this with Papa and Aunt Anna, but maybe you’ll understand. You know what it’s like to have a parent you’re ashamed of.”

  Pole’s face softened. He squeezed Sofie’s hand. “We do have that in common, don’t we?”

  “I’m not sure how much Lukas told you in Johnstown, but my mother disappeared seven years ago—the same day you left Riverton. It was also the same day the man my mother worked for was murdered.” Sofie waited for Pole’s reaction. He simply nodded. “I guess my brother mentioned this.”

  “He did.”

  “Did he show you his leg?”

  Pole nodded again.

  “The morning you
left Riverton, I went to the train station to see you one last time. But by the time I got there, your train was gone. I was so disappointed … but little did I know, the day was about to get worse.” Sofie looked down at her hand, intertwined with Pole’s.

  He leaned forward.

  “As I was turning to leave the station, Lukas appeared out of nowhere. He was chasing one of the cars on the train and calling after our mother. He was so close to the tracks.” Sofie shook her head. “I tried hard to stop him.”

  Pole’s hand went to his mouth.

  “Did Lukas already tell you the story?”

  “No, but I think I can guess the ending.”

  Sofie took a deep breath. “Lukas was certain our mother was in that car and wouldn’t stop until he got her attention. He kept trying to jump up and hit the window. On his last attempt, he lost his balance and fell between the platform and the wheels of the train.”

  “Jesus Christ! That’s how he lost his leg?”

  Sofie nodded, wiping a tear from her eye. “I didn’t want to believe it for a long time—it was too painful—but years ago, I finally accepted that my mother was on that train. She’s the reason Lukas lost his leg. She might even be the reason her boss is dead.”

  “And she’s been gone ever since,” Pole said mournfully.

  “Until two weeks ago.”

  Pole’s eyes widened.

  “Father Figlar and that wicked Sister Agnes brought her here. She was found wandering around Riverton looking for us.”

  “What does she want after all these years?”

  “She’s pregnant.” Sofie could taste the venom on her tongue as she uttered the words. It had been almost two weeks, and her disgust with her mother had not subsided in the least bit. If anything, it had grown. Each and every day she passed by her mother’s door, she had to restrain herself from entering the room and strangling her. She had no desire to see her mother or try to make amends. Her only urge was to harm her.

  “What the hell?” Pole’s jaw was near the ground. “She’s not expectin’ help from your father after all this time?”

  “We don’t know what she’s expecting. Karina is incoherent. She seems to have lost her mind.”

  Pole cocked his head to the side. “Are you sure?”

  “I haven’t seen her myself, but Papa said she’s very confused.”

  “Wait. She’s been at your house for two weeks, and you haven’t seen her?”

  “I refuse to go into her room. She’s weak and can’t get out of bed. Aunt Anna has been taking care of her.”

  “What about your father?”

  “He’s gone into the room a few times, but he comes out looking more distraught than when he went in. He’s a fool for taking that woman in. Her presence in the house is making us all crazy.”

  Sofie thought about the somber mood that had befallen the house since Karina’s return. Everyone moped around, incapable of remaining unaffected by the patient in the upstairs bedroom. Avoidance was their only coping mechanism. Papa worked longer hours at the store and hid behind his books when he was at home. Aunt Anna returned to her old habit of hovering over the kitchen stove both day and night, even when she wasn’t cooking. And Sofie spent as much time at the newspaper as she possibly could.

  Papa and Aunt Anna had tried numerous times to get Sofie to share her feelings about the impossible situation in which they’d found themselves, but she always remained tight-lipped and eager to change the subject. As a result, dinners were terribly awkward and consisted of superficial conversation about the weather and the war. Whenever Papa and Aunt Anna needed to discuss Karina, they retreated to the kitchen and spoke in hushed tones.

  “If your mother really has lost her mind, why isn’t she in an asylum? And how long will she stay with you?” Pole asked.

  “I don’t know. I’m not even sure my father knows. Aunt Anna said something about keeping Karina healthy until the baby is born. I have no idea what will happen after that.”

  Pole looked down at his feet and scratched his head. He remained silent for minutes.

  Sofie studied him. She worried her story was too shocking, even by his standards. Her mother had sunk to an unbelievable new low and had brought shame on them all. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you all that. I can’t imagine what you must think of my family.” She began to whimper softly.

  Pole looked up. He wrapped his arm around Sofie, pulling her close beside him. “Aww, Sof. I think the world of your family. I’ve always admired your father and aunt. Your mother is a bit of a mess—there’s no doubt. But your father has always made up for her failings. I’m sure he has a plan to deal with the situation.”

  In the midst of her turmoil, Sofie found the sensation of Pole’s arm around her back soothing. She laid her head on his shoulder and exhaled. She sat motionless for minutes, inhaling his musky scent and feeling the warmth of his breath on her face. She wished she could live in that moment indefinitely. The tumultuous storm that had been whirling inside her for weeks was quieting. She closed her eyes and savored the calm.

  “I’m glad you told me everything,” Pole whispered. “I know I’ve been gone a long time, but I’m here now. I’ll do anything you need.”

  Sofie raised her head and met Pole’s gaze. There was so much tenderness in his eyes. She suddenly felt a strange tingling in her body, a sensation akin to hunger. Was it desire? She stared at Pole’s lips, wondering how they might feel upon hers. Stunned by her inappropriate thoughts, she shook them from her head. Her calm began to dissipate, and the chaos commenced its swirling.

  “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “I’ve dreamed about seeing you again for so long. And now that you’re here …”

  “My timing’s bad, I know.” Pole chuckled.

  “You couldn’t have picked a worse time to show up.” Sofie slapped Pole’s leg playfully. “But maybe Aunt Anna was right. You came exactly when I needed you.”

  “You’re the best friend I ever had, Sof. I only wish I’d found you sooner.”

  Sofie noticed Pole’s cheeks were rosy. Whether it was the cold weather or a hint at his emotions, she couldn’t be sure. She wondered if he felt the same electricity that was coursing through her. Wrapped in his warm embrace, she was reminded of the indomitable bond she had shared with her childhood friend, their deep affection and devotion to each other. But now those long-buried feelings were accompanied by something new—an unexpected desire for the grown man beside her.

  Pole was so foreign yet familiar. So intimidating yet endearing. Sofie was not sure what she felt for her long-lost friend, but was eager to find out. As he helped her to her feet and led her down the path toward town, she stole several glances at his handsome face, focusing on his dark green eyes. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed gazing into them. There was no denying that her life was in total disarray, but with Pole at her side, she might regain her bearings and find her way back to the light.

  Forty-Five

  JANOS

  BEAVER CREEK, NOVEMBER 23, 1917

  Janos still could not believe his eyes as he studied the young man seated opposite him at the dining room table. Pole bore a striking resemblance to his father, but couldn’t have been more different in temperament. Despite the many trials and tribulations of the past seven years, which he had recounted over dinner, he had somehow managed to remain good-natured and kind. His resilience was remarkable. But even more impressive was the miracle he was performing—one that had seemed nearly impossible only a few days ago. Pole was bringing Sofie back to life. The light had returned to her eyes, and she was smiling again.

  Whether it was fate or divine intervention, Janos would forever be grateful that Lukas and Pole’s paths had crossed in Johnstown. He had often believed that the loss of Pole had taken an even greater toll on Sofie than the loss of her mother. The unanswered questions surrounding his whereabouts had been especially agonizing for her. After their failed attempt to track Pole down in Riverton in the summer of
1913, Sofie had been inconsolable for months, believing she would never see her childhood friend again. Since then, Janos feared there would always be a void in his daughter’s heart—one that could only be filled upon Pole’s improbable return.

  Much to his dismay, Janos had always believed that day would never come. He had never been so thankful for his own miscalculation.

  “Dinner was delicious, Aunt Anna. Thank you for invitin’ me and Lily. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a home cooked meal,” Pole said.

  “It’s wonderful having you in our home again. It’s been too long. And your sister is delightful,” Anna said, patting the girl’s back.

  Janos gazed at the twelve-year-old, who was cozied up next to Anna. The girl had bonded with his sister rather quickly. Lily was likely still reeling from the recent loss of her mother and in need of feminine companionship. Sadly, there seemed to be tragedy in every direction Janos turned. He had always believed his children were unique in their suffering, but Pole and Lily had clearly been dealt their share of devastating blows.

  “How long do you intend to stay in Beaver Creek?” Janos asked Pole. “The public school here is very good. Perhaps Lily would like to enroll.”

  “I’ve never gone to a real school before,” Lily said. “The school in Abbott’s Hollow was small, and I didn’t go very often.” She looked down at her lap.

  “If you’re worried about being behind in your studies, I would be happy to tutor you. Aunt Anna could help, too,” Janos said.

  Lilly looked at her brother hopefully.

  “We haven’t made definite plans yet, Mr. Kovac.”

  Janos raised an eyebrow at Pole.

  “I mean, Janos. It’ll take me a while to get used to that.” Pole chuckled. “Anyway, Beaver Creek seems like a nice place to live. What are the jobs like at the glass factory?”

  “Hot and dirty. But probably not as dirty as mining coal—or as dangerous,” Janos replied.

  “Yeah. At least I’d be above ground.”