Duty or Desire

by Brenda Jackson

  “Can you?” Pete asked, before taking a sip of his punch.

  “Sure can, and I hope you tell her before she leaves town.”

  Pete didn’t say anything as he glanced across the room to where Myra stood holding Ciara while smiling and talking to Bella, Lucia and Bane’s wife, Crystal. She fit in well with them, the wives of the men he considered good friends. And Derringer was right.

  He had fallen in love with her, even though he knew doing so had been a mistake.

  They could have no future. She had a life beyond Denver, although he hadn’t a clue what she intended to do with it other than leave here. It was something they never talked about, a subject he avoided because the idea of her leaving was something he tried not to think about. But he didn’t have much time left with her so he had to think about it whether he wanted to or not.

  What could he offer her? He tried to ignore the voice that said: You have your love to offer.

  “Well?”

  Derringer reclaimed his wayward thoughts. “Well, what?”

  “Are you going to stop her from leaving?”

  Stop her from leaving?

  “Not without a warrant,” he said, trying to bring a little lightheartedness into the conversation.

  Derringer wasn’t having it. “Don’t be a smart-ass, Pete. Are you or are you not going to tell her you love her to stop her from leaving?”

  “No, I’m not. I might desire Myra but my duty is to my niece.”

  “Then I think you are making a huge mistake.”

  * * *

  Although Myra was contributing to the conversation with the ladies around her, she was conscious of Pete’s eyes on her. She was tempted to return his stare but she didn’t for fear that he would look into her very soul. And see her love. Feel her love. Discover the thing she didn’t want exposed.

  “So, Myra, you and Pete share the same birthday?”

  Megan Westmoreland’s question reclaimed her immediate attention. Did they? She’d had no reason to ever ask when his birthday was. “If we do, I didn’t know it.”

  “Pete is also a Christmas baby,” Lucia said, grinning. “That’s the one thing I remember about his parents while growing up. They would come into Dad’s paint store around the holidays. Mr. Higgins was good with his hands and every holiday he would make something for Pete. Since Pete was a Christmas baby, he wanted to make a special birthday gift for him so he wouldn’t feel cheated out of a birthday celebration.”

  Myra took a sip of her punch, remembering her parents did the same thing for her birthday. They always made it special. This would be her first without them. “If I was going to be around, I would bake him a cake, but I’m leaving the day after Christmas.”

  “You’re still leaving?” Bella asked, surprised.

  “Yes, I’m still leaving.” Myra could see the confused looks on the women’s faces. “Why do you ask?”

  “We thought... We were hoping that something was going on between you and Pete,” Megan said, hesitating before getting it out there.

  Myra knew it would be a waste of time to lie to the three women. Besides, women who were in love would recognize that same emotion in another woman and there was no denying that she had fallen in love with Pete.

  “Yes, something is going on, but not what you think,” she said softly, feeling the impact of the words she’d spoken. She knew they understood her meaning.

  “I think you might be wrong,” Megan said gently. “I’ve known Pete all my life. He’s been best friends with Derringer and Riley forever. I remember Dad would often tell him that if he continued to hang around with them as much as he did he would begin to look like a Westmoreland,” she said, chuckling. “There were times people thought he was a Westmoreland because he would go on a lot of family trips with us.”

  She took a sip of her punch and added, “I know how hard he took Ellen’s death and how he shut himself off because of it. But over the past month I’ve seen him come to life. He began thawing out when Ciara got here, but now he’s back to being the Pete we all know and love. I think you might be underestimating his feelings for you, Myra.”

  Megan’s words remained on Myra’s mind all through the ride home from Dillon’s party. They were like a seed in her heart that she wanted to bloom. Was she underestimating his feelings for her? Could there really be more between them than sex?

  And what if there was? She would still have to leave to return to Charleston and handle that business with the company. It would be a smooth transition if Baron didn’t try making things difficult. Yet she couldn’t see him agreeing to leave without a fuss. Either way, she would love nothing more than to have it settled and be done with it so she could return to Pete and Ciara—if he truly cared for her like the Westmoreland ladies thought.

  On top of that, Myra couldn’t ignore the call she’d gotten from Wallace two days ago. Baron had run into one of his old college girlfriends and she’d mentioned seeing Myra in Breckenridge, Colorado, around Thanksgiving. That meant there was a good chance Baron would be moving his search to that area. Wallace felt she should tell Pete what was going on. She disagreed. Baron was her problem and the last thing she intended to do was get Pete involved.

  “You’re quiet. Is everything all right, Myra?”

  She blinked, realizing they had reached Pete’s ranch. Forcing a smile, she looked over at him. “I just have a lot on my mind. Miss Bonnie will be returning next week.”

  “But that doesn’t mean you have to move out. Derringer mentioned you intended to stay at Bella’s inn for a week before leaving town.”

  “Yes, those are my plans. I do have to move out, Pete.” Surely he didn’t think she could stay here and continue their relationship with Miss Bonnie in the house?

  As if he read her thoughts he said, “We’re adults, Myra. We shouldn’t have to sneak around. Besides, I’m too old for that sort of thing.”

  “This is coming from a man who didn’t want to hire me because of possible talk?” she asked, frowning.

  “And you’re the one who said you didn’t care what people might say or think about you living with me.”

  She rolled her eyes. “We’re not talking about people, Pete. We’re talking about Miss Bonnie.”

  “I know. But you don’t have to worry about Bonnie. I got a call from her today and she asked if she could remain with her sister an additional week. I think she might feel guilty about leaving her alone for the holidays. I told her I would talk to you to see if you could remain another week. Would you?”

  Undisguised happiness swelled inside of Myra. That meant she would have an extra week to spend with Pete and Ciara. That would make leaving even harder, but she would take it and deal with the consequences later.

  Drawing in a deep breath, she said, “Yes, I’ll remain for an additional week.”

  * * *

  Pete woke up the next morning and glanced over at the clock. Although it was Saturday, he usually would get out of bed early anyway since it was his day to take care of Ciara. Myra was still entitled to two days off even though she never really took them anymore. She seemed content to spend her off days hanging out at the ranch with him and Ciara and he didn’t have any problem when she did. Regardless, he didn’t want to take advantage of her time in case she had something else to do.

  But then he had made sure she would be free this weekend for an entirely different reason.

  He glanced at the empty spot in his bed wondering how Myra had gotten up without waking him.

  He hadn’t told her yet, but he’d asked Charity Maples to babysit Ciara for him tonight because he planned to take Myra out on a date. Two days ago, he’d made reservations at Barnacles for dinner and figured they could take in a movie afterward.

  Pete chuckled. He wasn’t as slow as Derringer thought. Although the timing wasn’t right to tell her how he felt about her. Chances were,
she didn’t feel the same way, and there was no way he could stop her from leaving. What he could do was give her a reason to come back. He no longer felt he had to chose between duty and desire. He could have both.

  Getting out of bed he quickly went into the bathroom and washed up, brushed his teeth and shaved. A short while later he was walking out of his bedroom and headed toward the kitchen where the sound of voices could be heard. Namely, Myra and Ciara. They were both singing...or trying to sing.

  He couldn’t help the smile he felt touch his lips. Myra had made his house a home and he wasn’t sure how he and Ciara would handle her absence. Bonnie taking an additional week had postponed the inevitable but for how long?

  At least Myra would be here on Christmas Day, since she was leaving the day after. He had assured her he could handle things for a day until Bonnie got back.

  Walking into the kitchen, he said, “Good morning.”

  Two pairs of feminine eyes glanced over his way. He would give anything for them to keep that look of happiness in their gazes when they saw him.

  “Da-da,” Ciara said, reaching out her arms to him.

  He headed toward her, but not before stopping in front of Myra to place a lingering kiss on her lips. “I didn’t hear you leave the bed this morning.”

  She gave him a mischievous grin. “I guess one of us was exhausted for some reason, Mr. Lawman.”

  He leaned in close to her ear and said, “I guess I should be thankful you aren’t calling me Mr. Old Man.”

  She threw her head back and laughed. “I must admit I am finding it hard to believe that you’re letting this young woman get the best of you.”

  He smiled. “Only because I’m exhausted from getting the best of you.”

  Now he was the one to throw his head back to laugh; he had effectively put her at a loss for words. And while he had her in that condition, he figured it would be a good time to tell her about his plans.

  “By the way,” he said, after taking Ciara out of the high chair. “I hired a babysitter for Ciara tonight.”

  Myra looked at him dumbfounded. “A babysitter? Why?”

  He knew he had to be careful how he answered. “Because I want to show my appreciation for all you’ve done for me and Ciara while Bonnie has been gone. I want to thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, Pete. Besides, are you okay with a sitter keeping Ciara? She won’t stay with just anybody.”

  He studied Myra’s features and wondered if she’d gotten upset with what he’d said. For some reason she sounded annoyed.

  “I do need to show you how much I appreciate what you’ve done and as far as a sitter goes, Charity is seventeen and the daughter of one of my deputies. She’s kept Ciara a number of times for me in the past. She’s a responsible teen and she and Ciara get along just fine. There’s no need for you to worry about anything.”

  * * *

  Myra knew she sounded pretty ungrateful and that wasn’t how she wanted to come off. Taking her to dinner was truly a nice gesture on his part. Just because she was in love with him didn’t mean she should expect him to feel the same way about her.

  “Then after dinner we would take in a movie.”

  She stared at him. Dinner and movie? Did he not know those things constituted a date?

  That was probably the last thing he wanted but those were his plans, not hers. He would figure out the mistake he’d made when he ran into people who knew him and recognized her as the nanny, and noted the two of them were out and about without Ciara. She would be leaving after next week. He would be the one left here to deal with talk because he’d sent out the wrong message in trying to show his appreciation.

  She wished she could tell him that she didn’t want his appreciation but his love, but that was out of the question. She had to take care of her family business, and his heart was still taken.

  “Do you not want to go to dinner with me?”

  She wanted to go. She valued him showing his appreciation. She’d get over her feelings.

  He had explained his intentions from the beginning. He had not been looking for a lasting relationship. It was only about sex. It wasn’t like he hadn’t told her because he had, and she’d accepted his terms.

  “Yes, I’d love to go out to dinner with you, Pete,” she said.

  And just like he wanted to show his appreciation to her, she could certainly show hers to him, in her own special way.

  * * *

  It wasn’t too late when they returned home. Charity told them what a great little girl Ciara had been, before leaving in her own car.

  “I like her,” Myra said about Charity, when Pete joined her in Ciara’s room. They both stood over the little girl’s bed just watching her sleep. Pete knew his niece had captured Myra’s heart the same way she’d captured his. Even if Myra didn’t care about seeing him again after leaving Denver, she would be tempted to return to see Ciara.

  “Want to join me for a cup of coffee, lawman?” Myra said, smiling.

  He smiled back. “I don’t mind if I do, cowgirl.”

  Because he had such a wide hallway, they managed to walk down the hall side by side while holding hands, which was something they’d done at the movies. Dinner had been great and the movie had been entertaining, as well. They’d run into a number of people he knew, most of them his age, and they hadn’t found it newsworthy that he was out on date with his niece’s nanny. In fact, when he had introduced her to them, he’d introduced Myra as a good friend.

  He sat down at the table while she got the coffee going. He liked watching her move around his kitchen, loved the movements of her hips and the sway of her hair around her shoulders. When she turned around, catching him staring, she smiled.

  “I enjoyed dinner and the movie, Pete. Thanks for taking me.”

  “I’m glad you did and you’re welcome.” He wanted to suggest that they do it again, but he didn’t want to bring up the fact that she was leaving soon.

  She placed his cup of coffee in front of him and then joined him at the table with hers.

  Finally, he decided to ask, “Are you looking forward to returning to Charleston?” She didn’t answer right away. Could it be that she would miss him and Ciara? He knew they would miss her.

  “Yes, I’m looking forward to returning home.”

  He didn’t say anything as he sipped his coffee, wondering how he was going to let her leave when the time came. “You’ll be leaving Denver before the coldest part of our winter.”

  “I won’t miss that.”

  Because he had to know, he asked, “Will you miss me?”

  She met his gaze and held it for a long moment. “Most definitely. I’m going to miss you, Pete.”

  A surge of passionate energy passed between them and they placed their coffee cups down at the same time. Who got up from their seat first, Pete wasn’t sure. Nor did it matter. All he knew was that Myra was in his arms and he was kissing her in a way he hoped let her know he would also miss her. Miss kissing her. Miss making love to her. Miss seeing her. Miss talking to her. He would miss her in ways he couldn’t even imagine right now.

  Their tongues tangled with a desperation and hunger he’d never experienced, never with such urgency as this. The cause might have been knowing they were racing against time. Soon they would have to say their goodbyes. Now, though, they were succumbing to unbridled passion.

  Suddenly, he swept her off her feet into his arms. He’d intended to make it to his bedroom, but he only made it to the dining room before he knew he had to have her now. “I need you now, baby. I can’t wait.”

  After placing her back on her feet, Pete yanked his shirt from his pants and proceeded to take it off while watching her remove her own clothes. It didn’t matter to him that this was the first time he’d ever stripped naked in his dining room. He knew before it was all said and done, he would be doing
a hell of a lot more in this dining room.

  She was back in his arms and he was kissing her again with a fervor he felt in every part of his body, especially in his throbbing erection. He broke off the kiss, needing to touch and taste her everywhere. He needed to feel his hands glide over her breasts, enjoying how her nipples hardened beneath his fingers.

  He needed to know if she was ready for him, so he lowered his hands to the area between her legs. She moaned when he touched her there, and he eased his finger inside of her. Yes, she was ready for him.

  Lifting her up, he placed her on the dining room table and wrapped her legs around his neck. Then, nudging her thighs apart, he thrust into her, going as deep as he could go. And when he was satisfied he couldn’t go any further, he held tight to her hips and began moving in and out of her. He was filled with a greed that went beyond anything he’d ever experienced before. It was as if he’d become insatiable, but only for her.

  With this position he not only felt her but he could look at her, see the play of emotions on her face caused by his every thrust. He loved watching her expressions and knowing he was the cause. As if she needed to see his emotions as well, she used her inner muscles, as if trying to milk every single thing out of him.

  It was then that he grasped he wasn’t wearing a condom. That realization must have shown in his expression, because she whispered, “I’m on birth control and I’m safe.”

  “And I’m safe, too,” he said, continuing to pump hard into her.

  When he felt her begin to shudder, he leaned in and captured her mouth as the same orgasm that struck her hit him, as well. His body bucked and then bucked again as he poured into her, the first time he’d done such a thing with any woman.

  But he was doing it with her. The woman he loved with every part of his being. The woman who didn’t have a clue what she meant to him. He wanted her to have it all. He kept thrusting until there was nothing left to give. It was only then that he released her mouth and slumped down on her. Burying his face between the most gorgeous pair of breasts, and the tastiest.