The Bitter Pill Social Club

by Rohan Dahiya

  The water was freezing. She shivered and peeled her wet clothes off, piling them on top of the mess of hair. Sana stayed in the shower till the shivers stopped, then she shampooed her hair. Then she exfoliated. When she got out of the shower there was nothing familiar about her besides the robe. Her room was dark and dead silent, she walked through and felt her way to the bed. Outside a loud thunderclap announced the first rain of the season, the last thing she heard before falling asleep.

  Chapter FIVE

  AT YOUR PLACE

  OR UP IN SPACE

  It was still drizzling when dawn hit the city and every street corner was flooding with muddy water. Every few kilometers you could see cars abandoned on the road overnight – some cars weren’t meant to withstand the downpour. Sana’s front lawn glistened with puddled water and a singular flower had bloomed radiant pink in the perimeter bush. She packed her bags and took a steaming coffee to the balcony while Vikram and the others cleaned up the mess of the night before.

  The weak sun was climbing higher when Laksh finally pulled up the driveway. The sight of her railroaded him so unexpectedly he didn’t know if he’d have words to fill up the day. This wasn’t Sana. Not the way he knew her. She just assumed he was hungover, or worse hung up on Swati. Her sunglasses couldn’t hide the grimace as she fought the image of long legs crawling up a bare back. She approached his grey chariot without ceremony, threw her bags in the back and grunted a greeting. He grumbled in response, and she broke into a smile.

  Somewhere on the road between Haryana and Alwar the sun finally broke through and cast its rays on the open road. Sana insisted on leaving the windows open and stopping for a bag of java plums from the roadside cart. She had a leg folded under her and looked right at home, Laksh cast her furtive looks of jealousy – his knees already stiffening.

  The city withered away to bright fields that stretched as far as the eye could see, split only by the open road. The rain hadn’t yet reached there but the sky had moments of overcast that threatened the darkened sort of day that looks beautiful in photographs but can never really be captured.

  With her lilting voice humming along to a song of blue moon girls from once upon a Shangri-la, Laksh had sweaty palms. He no longer knew how to breathe around her because this wasn’t Sana, this was not Sana Kochhar. They rolled to a stop at what looked like the last shop of the ride. He released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding back, wiping hands on his linen shorts.

  She looked at him through her movie star RayBans and asked if he wanted anything.

  “I wanna get some uncle chips for the room, I don’t think they’d have a store after this.”

  He told her to get a whole bunch, the fort was in the middle of nowhere. “It shouldn’t be too long now, traffic from here onwards seems pretty okay.”

  “We’re out of the city so there’d be no more assholes driving on the road,” he knew where she was going, “let me drive for a while?”

  He pretended to think even though they both knew he’d concede. The only trouble was that she drove really fast but Lakshman didn’t mind anymore. Every time she had leaned towards him, whether to fetch something from the backseat or make a point about how the endless summer was a direct implication of global warming, his heart stuttered. He wondered if her insides were all over the place too or perhaps he was the only one who was in freefall. On the outside she remained in a perpetual state of chill, even when his face was inches from hers because his cigarette pack had fallen off the seat and he had to strain to retrieve it. He couldn’t see the thunderstorm in her.

  They wound through the gentle hillocks that led them onto the final stretch with brilliant fields of wheat and mustard on either side. The flowers fanned out on till the horizon and he half whispered to her.

  “Nothing happened by the way.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Last night, nothing happened. I dropped her home and then I went home.”

  “Oh” she kept her thoughts to herself, “then you should’ve come back to the party.”

  The music filled up the silence and the drifting clouds returned. Sana sped up to match the tempo of the song. Thunder drawled above as the fort loomed nearer and Laksh offered to take the wheel.

  They were completely soaked through by the time they made it up the ramp and into the cosy reception. The ceiling fan turned lazily sending shivers down their soaked backs. Holding hands for support they dashed to their room, his grip tight around the tinkling key. True to its name the interiors had parrot motifs all over but the room itself was beautiful, cozy with a queen bed – which went unacknowledged – and warm ivory stone walls. She immediately took to the bathroom to peel off her wet clothes and dry up, losing herself in the bathroom tiles. He was still putting on a t-shirt when she came out and Sana made to look away from his bare skin, the soft fabric of his t-shirt as it cascaded down his abdomen. His morse code tattoo taunted her with a lasting peek.

  “I don’t know about you but I’m getting into this bed, it’s freezing.” She tossed her wet clothes into a spare plastic bag.

  “It’s not so bad”, he walked over to the tiny alcove window.

  Laksh smiled as the cool air rolled in, making it a point to stay above and out of the blanket while she remained inside. The mounting tension in the air was made worse by the silence and the rain. They drifted off to sleep because the bed was soft and warming their weary bodies. Sana was the first to wake up and she found her body close enough to feel his breath on her face. She wondered if he might wake up to the sound of her booming heart. She felt each beat vibrate down to her toes and without thinking placed a hand on his chest. Her lungs might’ve collapsed from the stress but sleep took over and she lost sight of the sun hanging low in the hills beyond their bed. When he turned to his side, Lakshman held her hand and took her with him. She was awake but only for a moment, then she found herself nestled into his warm back. Their bodies were melting into each other, nestled in that bed made of clouds and dreams.

  It was his phone that broke the spell. She immediately took her hand away and climbed out of bed, his back chilly where she’d left him. He didn’t move, didn’t see who was calling even though the phone was in his hand and he was looking at it. His mind was light-years away.

  Back pressed to the bathroom wall, Sana waited for her turbulent heart to calm down. His muffled voice filtered in from the gap between the door and the floor, she couldn’t help her thoughts running to his brother – who’d hit on everything that moved – and Swati – the way her arm had snaked around his. And then she remembered the touch of his hand on hers, pulling her closer to him.

  “I’m keeping the wine in the fridge”, he called out. “Also, that was Gayatri, your phone’s off.”

  She heaved a sigh of relief.

  “Do you want me to put it on charge?”

  “Oh yeah, sorry. There’s a charger in the front pocket of my bag.”

  “I have mine out, chill. What’re you doing in there?”

  “Nothing I was thinking I’d take a quick shower.”

  She heard him snicker. “Hurry up it’s going to be tea time I don’t wanna miss the pakodas!”

  Kindle for company, Laksh waited for his turn at the shower while the rain gave way to a lavender blue afternoon. The sun hung paper white between the sheaves of clouds, watching over them seated in one of the fort’s many courtyards.

  He couldn’t help but notice how the staff was extra courteous to her, hanging by her silence as she pondered over the limited coffee options. Her every ‘thank you’ brought out a thousand-watt smile and they would rush over with pakodas and cake slices at her request. He wondered if she was just used to other people being that way around her. It made complete sense that they would.

  He stared at the cup of inky coffee with trepidation. “When did this happen?”

  “What, coffee?” she smiled indulgently, “I don’t know, I just had the worst week of my life and thought if I anyway post pictures of coffee cups on m
y social media I may as well give it a shot.”

  “Just like that?”

  “The first sip changed my life.”

  He slapped the table. “I knew all those posts from Blue Tokai were fake. I can’t believe they didn’t excommunicate you.”

  “Why would they? I’m like one of their best customers,” she grimaced at the bitter coffee. “This coffee though is absolute trash, I can’t even right now.”

  He watched her features brighten as they walked the passage leading to their room. It opened up to a wall with bougainvillea vines creeping up one side and he’d never seen a smile that wide.

  “Can you take a picture of me? I love these flowers.”

  It wasn’t a demand.

  “Wait, why don’t you join in?” She pulled him close to her side and turned the phone in his hands to take the photo.

  She was glowing in the shade of those violently pink flowers. He asked her if she wanted one and she pointed to the special one, in full bloom with white pips. He gently took it off the vine and she speared it straight through her hair.

  They walked around the fort, which wasn’t that big but it had winding narrow passages that led to different corners. At one point they found themselves facing the swimming pool, with a view of the hills sprawling on one side and a row of white chairs to the other. The sun was setting and the air was pleasantly cool now. While walking back to their room they discovered another winding passage that led them to a private turret with a stone bench running around the boundary. Both declared in unison that they should drink there.

  “Why’d you keep the wine in the fridge?”

  He regarded her as if she were a monkey.

  She rolled her eyes. “I thought you’re not supposed to have red wine from the fridge or whatever.”

  “It has to be at a proper temperature.”

  “I thought it ruins the flavor to have it cold though, no? Most restaurants they give it at like room temperature.”

  He gave her an indulgent chuckle. “Trust me on this. I’m going to change everything you know about wine.”

  She held in a cough. Laksh was right of course, red wine and pot tasted like chocolate on her tongue. Either that or she was horribly high and had no idea of what was happening. She was dizzy in the way of reading a book in a moving car, as if her soul was moving in circles beyond the limitation of her body. Her limbs felt heavy but her fingers were nimble. More than once, unintentionally, in passing the joint and between sips from the bottle – plastic glasses abandoned on the grass below – their touch lingered. Electricity crackled when skin met skin and they were floating on a bed of dreams. She followed him down the precarious stone steps, hands on his shoulders for support, bubbled giggles aplenty.

  Aside from them, there were two separate groups at dinner. Occupancy was low due to the time of year and by the following day they would have the fort to themselves. They shared a small plate of spicy biryani and pineapple raita, and it was the best meal Sana had ever eaten.

  They took a walk around the pool to settle down, laughing uncontrollably when either one had to stop for a burp. She lit a cigarette and they shared it, leaning close against the low wall overlooking the dark hills. They walked back to the room in silence. Lakshman brought out his iPad and they laughed till their stomachs hurt watching old episodes of Rick and Morty. He ran around the room dramatically re-enacting their favourite bits. They took more wine and a pack of cards back to their private mezzanine. The clouds above had cleared away and a bright moon hung high in the night sky. Somewhere in the distant fields they heard a dog barking over and over again and they wondered if he barked at the moon. The empty bottle was on its side and the last game lay abandoned. Sana and Lakshman had fallen into silence.

  “Don’t you think everyone’s really desperate to fill up silences these days?”

  She looked at him and smiled.

  “I think it’s because people are afraid of their own thoughts when there’s nothing to talk about.”

  “I think everyone is so insecure they start wondering what the other person is thinking when they’re not saying anything. And if they’re thinking about them, and what they’re thinking about them. Or if they’re not thinking about them, why are they not thinking about them.”

  She giggled. “You think too much.”

  He scooted closer to her and draped an arm around her.

  “No really, have you ever shared a moment like this with anyone else? Where you’re sitting in absolute silence and there’s no need to talk and it’s okay not to and … I don’t know you just look at the moon or the stars or whatever.”

  “To be fair you can’t see much of the night sky these days, especially from my place.”

  He shot her a look.

  “But I know what you mean, and no. I haven’t.”

  She leaned her head back to rest on his arm. He pulled out his phone from the side pocket, trying very hard not to disturb her head with the other arm. The softest song floated around them.

  She rolled her head toward him. “Should I get some more wine?”

  He turned to look at her and once more their faces were too close. She took in the perfect slope of his nose, long and steady. His jaw where a light stubble bloomed, the perfect cupid’s bow descending into lips that were parted slightly. And the full force of him was locked in his eyes, warm and brown with a ring of fire around the pupil so kingly it avoided the whole wolfish trope entirely.

  “I’ll get some more wine”, she unfurled from the bench.

  Back in the bathroom she tied up her hair and splashed water on her burning face. Why she’d thought it was okay to not carry any makeup was beyond her understanding, she could’ve used a touch right then. Pinching and patting her cheeks, she grabbed the wine and headed back.

  Lakshman was waiting as she’d left him, song playing in the softest volume. She walked right up to him, grandly showing off the wine and he pulled her close, holding her by the waist. He pressed his cheek against her stomach and she had nowhere left to look or run. Her fingers were tender through his thicket of soft brown hair. Neither backed down even as the song drawled to an end. This wasn’t the first time they were hugging or that she was playing with his hair. Yet this was the first time it felt so intimate.

  “Tell me two truths and a lie.”

  She set the wine bottle down beside him and he held her close again.

  “Is this a new game we’re playing?”

  “Come on.”

  She hummed aloud in thought.

  “I’m scared I’ll die alone, without anyone whom I love and who loves me. And I’ll be obsolete, gone without leaving behind something meaningful.”

  “How will your Instagram followers survive,” he tittered softly.

  Laksh twitched as she flicked his ear hard, his hold on her waist still firm.

  “I would be devastated if mom doesn’t come back from her trip soon.”

  “I love my name, but everyone just calls me Sana now and I think it’s too late to go back to it.”

  He turned his head up to look at her.

  “The second one is a lie. You loose.”

  They laughed and opened the wine for her to serve the punishment.

  “So does this mean I can call you Sunaina now?”

  She considered it.

  “Yeah, I don’t see how it changed anything though.”

  “Okay, wait so one round of Stone-Paper-Scissors and if you lose you have to change your Instagram name. Better yet, you have to let me change it for you!”

  “Wow, what the fuck. Firstly, what are these games even, and you mister still have your turn to go with two truths and a lie!”

  “First you go then I go.”

  “And if you lose?”

  “If I lose”, he paused for effect, “you can drive my car around for the next week!”

  Her new Instagram handle was @dumplingKochhar.

  “You make me sick.”

  He laughed as he updated her name on h
is phone to Sunaina.

  “No dumpling there?”

  “No, I’ll add that in as your place of work. But now I can see you calling and not your social media alter ego.”

  “Shut up. It’s your turn now.”

  “Fine fine, Stone-Paper-Scissor let’s go.”

  She took a deep swig. “If you lose, you have to stop being a fuckboy.”

  “Okay hold up, why do you think I’m a fuckboy?”

  “Because you are.”

  “You’ve got me confused with my brother.”

  She shot him a look.

  “I’m really sorry about that by the way”, he took her hand in both of his. “If there was anything I could do to make up for it I would.”

  Her expression softened. “It’s okay Lakshman, it happened too long ago to keep thinking about it.”

  He pulled her into a hug.

  “Fine, if you lose, I get your car for a whole week.”

  He laughed, “and what if you lose?”

  “I think I’ve lost enough dignity for a night! I’m not losing.”

  She lost again but they didn’t do anything about it. She imagined their voices reaching far into the dark fields, how they’d look on their little balcony.

  The fort lights were switched off, they looked at the time and it was hours past midnight. The air grew cooler, as though the bulbs had kept them toasty all the while. They resumed their position beside each other, her head resting on his arm.

  She could feel his voice reverberate in his chest when he spoke.

  “So my turn again, is it?”

  “Yeah, two truths one lie.”

  “Are you sure? I think it’s your turn.”

  She handed him the bottle and nodded.

  He drained the last of it and set it aside.

  “Okay here goes.”

  Sana turned her head up to him, the moon cast a perfect silhouette on his face as he spoke.

  “We are floating in space. No one knows what’s going on. And I love you.”

  Gayatri peeked her head in.

  Surya looked up from her laptop. “What’s up?”