Friends with Benefits (Friend Zone Series Book 3)

by Nicole Blanchard

  Layla gave me a sidearm hug. “Of course, it’s okay. We’ll look at hot guys in tight pants with you any day.”

  They spent the rest of the practice game huddled close to me on either side, and I felt their concern and love wrapped around me like a hug. It helped dull the panic and shock to a bearable amount—at least until the game ended, and I was faced with telling Tripp about the baby. It had been a couple of weeks since my mom had taken the girls. Enough time for them to settle back into a routine. Now there was no more putting off telling him the truth.

  I could tell he was excited about their win, but it was bittersweet for me. A pregnancy would ruin all of his plans. Those dreams to play pro ball? Up in smoke. Sure, people would say we could make it work, but I’d already been there. Not that I regretted taking care of the twins, but children change lives, and although they’re precious, it wasn’t always for the better.

  They require sacrifice, and I would never want Tripp to have to sacrifice the dream he’d worked so hard to achieve. He’d already nearly lost it once. I couldn’t make him face that possibility again.

  Tripp wasn’t the type to run from his problems, though. No, he was responsible, dependable. He’d want to do the right thing. Because of that, it was tempting not to tell him.

  But he deserved to know, and I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t. I was used to shouldering my burdens alone, but this one was too heavy for me to carry.

  We pulled to a stop in the parking garage, and Tripp got out of the car, still humming happily. Meanwhile, dread began to pool in my stomach, causing the hot dog and soda I’d had at the game to churn unpleasantly. Tripp took my hand, and that was it.

  The doors to the elevator closed behind us, and the dam broke. I began to cry, silently at first, then full-out sobbing.

  Tripp, who’d been in such a cheerful mood, froze, then wrapped his arms around me. The comforting scent of his cologne filled my nose, and even though everything else seemed to make me nauseous, I was thankful this didn’t.

  “Hey, what the hell?” He was so bemused that it only made me cry harder. “Okay, angel, I won’t make you go to any more of my games, I promise, but you don’t have to cry.”

  “That—that—that’s not it!” I wailed. Keening sounds emitted from my chest, and I tried to stifle them, which only made me cry harder.

  “Okay, baby. Let’s get you inside, and then we can talk about it. We have some time before my parents are supposed to bring the twins back home.”

  Oh, God. How was I supposed to support three kids? This was madness. I was barely keeping the twins and me afloat. How would we survive with another life thrown into the mix? I’d have to take off school. I wouldn’t be able to work for a while. Tripp was supposed to have his big break this year. He couldn’t do that with the weight of me and the girls around his neck. And now a baby. What in the hell had I been thinking?

  Sex was never simple.

  Relationships were never simple.

  Life as a whole was complicated and messy and unexpected. Nothing about mine had ever gone to plan, no matter how much I tried to make it fit. I had wanted to go to college after high school but had only done my EMT certification. I had wanted to get married and have a family the normal way, but Chris had dumped all over that. I had wanted to make a good life for the girls and me, and now I’d ruined that.

  I didn’t want to ruin my friendship with Tripp, too, but I wasn’t sure it would survive this.

  The thought only made me cry harder. It didn’t faze him, though. Apparently, these months with us had made him immune to female tears. Poor guy. I was sure this wasn’t what he had signed up for.

  Friends with benefits…that was the arrangement.

  Sex without complications.

  It was now a whole lot more complicated than either of us could have imagined.

  While I freaked out internally, Tripp led me to my apartment, unlocked it, and shuffled me to the couch. It only made my cry harder. He was too nice to me. Too understanding. He was going to take this so well, and it would only make me feel worse.

  I wanted him to scream and rage at me. Treat me like crap. Because that’s what I felt I deserved. A baby would take away his choices and his future because he wouldn’t see it any other way. He was a good guy, as evidenced by how amazing he’d been throughout everything.

  He brought me a glass of tea, and I gulped it down to soothe my raw throat. When I was done, he passed me a handful of crumpled tissues. Not caring how I looked—or maybe I was just comfortable with him after everything—I blew my nose and dried my face.

  “Feel better?” he asked.

  Not at all. I made a noncommittal noise, wiped my nose again, and pulled up my big girl panties. I wasn’t going to cry anymore, and I wasn’t going to continue with the woe-is-me bullshit. I had made the choice to have sex, and this was one of the potential eventualities. I was an adult. I would have to deal with it like one.

  “Tripp,” my voice petered out, and I took another sip of tea to steady myself and come up with the words to say. How did one go about potentially changing someone’s life forever? “Tripp, I don’t know how to tell you this, and I just want you to know before I go on how much you mean to me. I couldn’t have been through this without you. I hope you understand that.”

  He nodded and relaxed into the couch, making sure to tuck me into his side. It was a casual movement. One I wasn’t really sure he even realized he did. “You don’t owe me anything, babe. I’ve been happy to help.”

  “I don’t only mean with the twins and everything. I mean, after Chris left me, I don’t think I’d ever been so low, and I’m not the type who gives a damn what a man thinks about me.”

  “Especially not a chump like him.”

  “We never talked about us, like where we were going to go after the benefits ended.”

  At my words, he straightened, his concerned gaze sharpening. “You want to end things?” he asked. Was I imagining things, or was there hurt in his words?

  My tongue tied itself into knots. “No, I mean, if you want to, but—”

  “What would make you think I want to?” His brows pushed together, and his full, kissable lips folded into a frown. I was going to miss those lips.

  Things were so much easier when the focus was on sex. I should have never agreed to this. I knew when I met him, when the twins were little, that taking this too far would be a bad idea. Maybe I was more like my mom than I thought.

  Selfish. Reckless. Careless.

  Doomed to repeat her mistakes.

  My hand pressed against my stomach. I didn’t know if it was all the crying or the hormones, but I felt sick.

  “Ember?” he prompted.

  “I’m pregnant,” I blurted. Or I think I did. The ringing was so loud in my ears that I couldn’t be sure.

  The hand he had resting on the back of the couch dropped to his lap. His face went lax in surprise.

  “You’re pregnant?” I heard over the ringing in my ears. I nodded, but it made me dizzy, so I clutched the back of the couch to ground me.

  “I’m so sorry. I know this isn’t what you had planned. I thought maybe it was from stress, but I took a test, well, I took several, and they were all positive. I can’t believe I’m doing this to you when you’re about to start your senior year of ball and you’ve got so much going on. I thought about not telling you, but that didn’t seem—”

  His big arms wrapped around me, squeezing so tight he cut off the rest of my apology. Maybe I was selfish because I soaked up the comfort he provided without hesitation. My tears dried, my thundering heart slowed, and by the time he pulled away, I was somehow in his lap and much more steady.

  “You don’t have anything to apologize for, angel. Nothing at all. You hear me?”

  “I thought you’d be upset.” His measured reaction had my brows pulling together.

  “I don’t know what I am, but it’s as much my responsibility as it is yours, Em.” Which is exactly what I had expect
ed him to say.

  My voice was tiny when I responded. “I’m scared. This is going to change everything. Your career…the twins.”

  He pulled me close and kissed the top of my hair. “I know you are, baby. This wasn’t exactly part of the plan, but you know I’ll be here for you. Whatever you decide. And whatever it is, we’ll face it. Together.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Tripp

  There was one qualifying game left in the season. One last chance to prove to myself, to Coach Taylor, to my advisors, and to the world at large that this was what I was meant to do. When I wasn’t at Ember’s apartment, I was training. I ran three miles a day, lifted weights until all my muscles shook, and pitched until my arm went numb. I was ready.

  It should have been the only thing on my mind, but it wasn’t. I was at the last practice before our last game, and all I could think about was Ember. The baby. Our baby. We were going to be parents.

  It wasn’t exactly how I’d planned for things to go down, but I wasn’t upset. Far from it. Now that I’d had a little while to wrap my head around the idea, I liked the thought of Ember having my baby. I fucking loved it. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. In fact, I was pretty sure it was going to be damn hard. But it would be a piece of the two of us, and I couldn’t imagine a better mom for my child.

  “Yo! Are you paying attention? I said a fastball, not a curveball!” Alex shouted from home plate where he was practicing with me. He jogged to where I was standing at the pitcher’s mound and tossed the ball. “You’ve been off all afternoon. You doin’ okay, man? The pressure getting to you?”

  It would have on any other day, but for the first time in my life, I had bigger things to worry about than baseball. “I’m alright.”

  “You don’t seem alright. You better get it off your chest before Coach comes over here and tears you a new one. It’s that chick, isn’t it? Man, how many times do I have to tell you, women are fun to play with, but during the season, you should put a moratorium on pussy.”

  “You’re so fucking stupid. That’s not it, either.”

  “The hell it isn’t. You’ve got puppy dog eyes. I know what that means.”

  I didn’t think he did.

  “You’re in love with her, aren’t you? Shit. I told you she was trouble.”

  My gaze jerked to his. In love with her? I tossed the ball from hand to hand as my mind raced. Was I in love with Ember?

  I was.

  It felt like I couldn’t breathe. The ball fell from my glove to the mound and rolled a couple of yards away, but I didn’t pay it any mind. Alex cursed when I didn’t immediately go get it.

  What I felt for her seemed too big to be so simple. It was holding her when she was upset. It was teasing her when she was frustrated. It was reading the girls a bedtime story and giving them a kiss on the forehead goodnight. It was putting together furniture and laughing when she couldn’t do it by herself. It was seeing her in the stands at my game cheering me on. It was watching her be a mother to her sisters, even when she had to give up most things girls her age wanted.

  It was life with her.

  That’s what I wanted.

  I wanted to spend my life with her. To grow with her and face all of our challenges together. I wanted to see the girls grow up, to give them away at their weddings. The life we’d made together, I wanted that with her, too.

  It was messy, inconvenient, scary, and complicated.

  I loved her.

  “Dude, are you okay? Are you having a nervous breakdown or something? Shit, I mean, do you need a hug?”

  A smile broke out over my face. What the hell? I pulled him in for a hug and clapped him hard on the back. He hesitated for a second, then did the same. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.

  “Never been better. You’re right. I do love her. We’re having a baby.”

  I hadn’t said the words out loud until now. I was afraid what it would mean if I did. But I wasn’t terrified like I was worried I’d be. I wasn’t going to desert Ember like her father had.

  “For real?”

  I nodded. “For real.”

  “That’s crazy. Congratudolences?” At my exasperated look, he said, “What?! Don’t look at me like that. You’re having a baby! My whole life, I’ve tried not to have babies. Don’t give me any crap. I’m happy for you, my guy, but I wouldn’t wanna be you.”

  “Does this mean you don’t want to be Uncle Alex?”

  His expression melted. I knew that would get him. He might act all hard, but he was a family guy at heart. All you had to do was see him talk about his mother, Angelina, one time, and you’d know he was a big ‘ole softy.

  “You want me to be her godfather?”

  I thought about it for a second. I didn’t think Ember would have a problem with it, so I said, “Pending her approval, fuck yeah, I want you to be her godfather.”

  He nodded. Then he gave me another hug. “Congratulations, Tripp. Thank you. I’d be honored.”

  “If you two don’t stop making out, I’m gonna make you run laps,” Coach Taylor shouted.

  We didn’t end up having to run laps, but by the time I got back to Ember’s apartment, it sure as hell felt like we had. You’d think the coaches would go easy on us, considering it was the end of the season, but that wasn’t the case. We were expected to be in top form until the ump blew his whistle on the last game. I didn’t care. I was more pumped than ever to take us to Omaha.

  I unlocked the door with my key and walked in without announcing myself. I barely even went to my own apartment anymore. I couldn’t tell you the last time I’d slept there. Ember was in the kitchen making something that smelled like heaven. The twins were on the floor with newspaper spread beneath them, playing with what looked like a science experiment from hell populating half a dozen bowls.

  “Are you guys making dinner?” I asked. “It smells good.”

  Tillie giggled. “No, silly.”

  “We’re making slime!” Molly exclaimed and dug into a bowl with both hands, pulling out a huge pile of neon blue goop.

  I dumped my bag of gear by the front door and knelt down next to them to give them a squeeze. “Looks delicious,” I said, causing them to giggle.

  Ember lifted her cheek for a kiss next. I obliged her. “You look delicious, too.”

  She was in a pair of sweats and a baggy t-shirt. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, and her hair was thrown up in a messy bun. “I think you’re full of it,” she whispered back.

  “How about later I let you know how delicious I think you are?”

  She blushed and turned back to the chicken and rice she had been stirring in a pot. “Really?”

  “Really, what?” I wrapped my arms around her from behind, my hands going to her flat stomach.

  “You still want to?”

  “Why don’t I show you how much I still want to when the twins go to bed?”

  I did just that a couple of hours later, once the twins were clean and snuggled up and Ember and I were alone in her room. I had her lay down, and I stripped her bare, starting at her toes and worshiping on my way up. She stopped me just before, even though she was slippery wet and shaking with need.

  “You sure? You’re not weirded out?” she asked.

  I kissed her navel. And lingered. “What about this would weird me out?”

  She shrugged, and her breath hitched when she spoke. “I dunno. Some guys get freaked out about sex and pregnancy. My dad did.”

  I winced. “Let’s not talk about your dad right now. All I want is you. Nothing about you could ever weird me out.”

  I pushed up to kiss her and took my time there until her hands kneaded my shoulders, insistent.

  She tore away and said, “You shouldn’t. You have practice in the morning, and it’s almost midnight.”

  Patiently, I peeled her hands away and pressed them to the bed. I knew her mind must be going a mile a minute, trying to solve every problem before it came up. Especially now. I simply couldn�
��t give her time to think, or she’d rationalize to death all the good things we had.

  So I pinned her hands above her head with one hand. She could have gotten away if she wanted to, but she let me do it while watching me with feverish eyes. I gripped my cock with my other hand and wet the head with her juices. Her breath caught again as I slipped inside in one long, slow stroke.

  She liked it when I was relentless, when I gave her what she wanted, but slowly. Carving away at her need like a river carved a canyon.

  “You think I don’t know these things? I knew when we made this arrangement what the deal was. What the risks were. I’ve never given up on anything in my life, and I’m not going to start now. No matter what, we’ll make it work. I’m showing up. I’m showing up for you and the girls. For our baby.”

  She lifted her hips to meet me, her eyelids fluttering as she tried to stay focused. “Then you have to promise me you’re not going to give up on your life either. No more late nights, no more skipping studying or practices. I care about you and want you to succeed, no matter what.”

  “But the baby?”

  She blushed. “It’s the size of a pea. It doesn’t need anything right now.”

  “And you?”

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “Try again,” I suggested.

  “Tripp, I’m serious.”

  “So am I.” I spread her legs over my forearms and fucked her deep.

  “That’s not a part of the rules,” she insisted breathlessly.

  “Then I’m making it a part of the rules. From now on, you won’t fight me when I try to help with you or the girls. I want to be in this with you. You just have to let me.” She nodded, and that was all I needed. “Deal.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Ember

  He was right. I wanted to let him in, to truly accept that he’d be there for us, no matter what. People had made promises like that to me my whole life, but no one had ever stuck to them. Tripp didn’t need to make promises. He showed how he felt with actions.