Oops, I Hexed It Again

by Renee George

  "What are you saying?" Honorable Mysty asked.

  "I'm saying, I don't want a divorce. I love Monty. I love him with all my heart. Enough that I'm willing to come in here and face potential humiliation if he doesn't feel the same way." I moved my gaze to Monty. "I'm just a witch, standing in front of a warlock, asking him to love her."

  "Goddess, she went full Notting Hill," Drag muttered.

  "Permission to speak, Honorable Mysty," Monty said.

  "Granted," she said, leaning forward and no longer looking bored with the proceedings.

  Monty cleared his throat, his blue eyes sparkled like jewels as he stared at me. "You had me at I am in love with Montrose Abadose."

  I smiled. He'd Jerry Maguired me.

  The mediator cleared her throat. "Is that all you want to say?"

  "I'm in love with you, Gigi Wise. And I have been for a long time. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't want a divorce."

  "Case closed," Honorable Mysty said. "Get out." I swear she had a tear in her eye as the Council rep ushered us through the door and into the hallway.

  Monty took me in his arms and kissed me until my lips buzzed. After, he said, "I thought you didn't go for the big romantic gestures."

  "I do now." I leaned into his palm as he caressed my face. "I just wish you could have seen me on our wedding day."

  He smiled. "I did." He pulled a MAN from his pocket. "I wore this the whole time we exchanged vows, and through most of the evening until I could no longer hide it. I saw you, Gigi. I always see you."

  I didn't think my heart could fill with more love, but it did. "Truly?"

  "Yep. When I told you that you looked beautiful, you know, when I gave you the pin, I meant you, Gigi. Only you."

  I threw my hands behind his neck and pulled him down for another kiss.

  "Get a room," Drag said. "Children are watching."

  "What children?"

  Drag pointed to herself, Cas, and Brit.

  "Oh." I stuck out my tongue at her. "Maybe we should go somewhere more private," I said to Monty. "You know, a place where we can wear fewer clothes without breaking any public laws."

  He laughed. "I know just the place. Hold on."

  He popped us out of the Council offices, and when we reappeared, I was in a flowing white gown, flowers decorated my hair, and I was barefoot standing in a stream of petal laden blue water. My hand went to my mouth. This was my fantasy wedding.

  "How did you know?"

  "Drag might have told Brita who might have told me that you cried a little at this particular scene in a movie."

  The stream didn't lead to an altar, though. In its place, was a large bed with white linen decorated with rosebuds in the shape of a heart.

  "Where are we?" I asked. "And please don't say the Bahamas."

  "India," he said. "Near the Golden Triangle. About as far from the Caribbean as I could think of."

  I hiked my skirt up and jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist. "I have the best husband. Now, take me to bed, stud. You can do that thing you do, you know, that one move with your tongue." I wiggled my brows.

  He narrowed his gaze at me. "And what makes you think I know that kind of move."

  "Uhm." I shrugged. "Near-death clairvoyance."

  "One of these days you're going to have to tell me the truth about that night." He carried me to the bed and threw me down on the blankets, so much like our first time, that I squealed. "Until then," his eyes darkened with lust. "I plan to make you the happiest wife around."

  "You already do," I said as he stripped down to nothing and crawled on top of me. "You already do."

  The End

  * * *

  To check out all the side-splitting books in the Magic and Mayhem Universe, go to https://magicandmayhemuniverse.com/

  I Want Your Hex (Book 3) Chapter One Sneak Peek!

  Magic & Mayhem Universe

  When your crushing on a vamp, who happens to be a tramp, it's time to practice safe hex.

  When the Rogue Magic Control Agency is tasked with security for a secret meeting between the Midwest’s vampire king and the Baba Yaga, witch Drag Jones is bummed that the mission is so boring. Walk the perimeter. Make sure there are no traps. Don’t stake any bloodsuckers. Blah. Blah. Blah.

  Turns out, vampires are sneakier than she could have ever guessed, and their powers don’t register on her magic-sensing radar. And one, in particular, a gorgeous smart-ass named Baz, has her rethinking celibacy. She can't decide if she wants to stake him or kiss him. Given the right motivation, she might do both.

  Vampire Baz Delgados is ninth in line to the Ravenblood throne, and head of security for the king, his older brother. When Baz first spots the pink-haired cutie in combat boots, he can't take his eyes off her. Something about the beautiful witch sings to his undead soul.

  Unfortunately, an ancient enemy threatens not only the burgeoning new alliance between vampires and witches but also the lives of everyone Baz and Drag love. They must work together to fight this new evil, or they’ll lose everything … including each other.

  * * *

  Chapter One (Preview)

  The damp night air clung to my skin like a spider's web I couldn’t peel away. An extremely loud rapid-fire of hard clicks blasted over my head. I dropped to the mossy floor of the Mark Twain Forest in southern Missouri, my hands sparking with defensive magic. I clicked my tongue piercing, a silver barbell, against my front teeth, a nervous habit that, if I had been a human and not a witch, could cause real dental damage.

  "Calm down, and quit doing that," the big, burly beast of a bear-man, affectionately known as Time Bomb, said. "It's a tree frog."

  I stopped clicking my piercing but didn't get up. "Aren't they tiny? I swear that noise had to come from something huge!"

  "Trust me," Time Bomb said. I heard him chuckle. "It's a harmless tree frog."

  I put away my magic and stood up, dusting dirt and moss from my jeans. "I can't believe I got roped into this job. I don't like trees or bugs, damn it. I'm not cut out for all this," I waved my hands at the surrounding trees, "nature. Ugh."

  "Nature is fun," my partner said. "Quit being such a drag."

  “Ha, ha. That joke never gets old.”

  Drag was the moniker I'd adopted over the years, and it fit me better than my birth name ever had. "This is such a waste."

  It wasn't the first time I'd made the complaint, and Time Bomb grunted. "Recon is always boring. Of course, after taking down that Caribbean cult in four months ago, boring is a nice change of pace."

  Our current team leader, GiGi Wise, and her new husband who happened to be our old team leader, Monty Abadose, had been tasked with infiltrating a cult of witches and warlocks hellbent on harnessing time.

  "Come on," I told him. "That Bahamas mission was a blast." Literally. The whole top floor of the cult's resort had exploded, almost taking our bosses with it.

  "Ha ha," Time Bomb replied. "Buckle up, buttercup. We have another two miles to cover before we can head back to camp."

  A private conference between Legabute Ravenblood, the king of the largest vampire faction in the Midwest, and the Baba Yaga would be taking place in a cabin in these Ozark woods, an uber-off-the-grid location, and our team had been assigned security.

  "Up close and personal meetings with blood-sucking lords of darkness, you know, in the dark, is a bad idea," I said.

  Time Bomb stopped, his head tilted back, nose in the air. "Unfortunately, Drag, nobody asked our opinion." His eyes narrowed. "Do you smell that?"

  "Since I don't have the snout, why don't you just cut to the punchline”"

  "A pungent musty aroma."

  I sniffed. My paltry human senses detected nada. "Musty? Like mold?"

  "Maybe," he said. "Or maybe a mushroom?"

  "Great. Mushrooms. I'm not sure that's noteworthy." I cocked a brow at him. "Unless it's moldy vampire balls?" I laughed. He didn't. "Are you sure you're not just hungry, big guy?"

&n
bsp; "For vamp testicles? Not unless they’re breaded and deep-fried."

  "Gross."

  Now he laughed.

  Speaking of deep-fried food, my stomach growled.

  The corner of his lips curled up into a sly smile. He met my gaze. "I think someone's hungry. You want me to get out my knife when the delegation arrives?"

  "Shut up." Witches had a high metabolism, which meant, when it came to eating our weight in food, we gave Shifters a run for their money. "I like my balls sautéed with fresh garlic and a side of holy water."

  He chuckled again in a way that most would call sexy, but we were team members, partners, and I had put him in the friend-zone the first day we met. And, other than some infrequent harmless teasing, like now, Time Bomb had never shown any real interest in me, which made it easy to avoid any indiscretions.

  "Eeeeaaaaawwh!" The high-pitched scream put my hair on end and had me whipping around and putting my back against Time Bomb's as I frantically looked around for the assailant.

  This earned me a deep belly laugh.

  "What?" I asked in a harsh whisper. "What the hellz was that?"

  "That," he said, "is a red-tailed hawk."

  Heat rose in my cheeks. "So, not a vampire."

  "Nope." He was strangely still. "Just a hawk, most likely warning us off his territory. You can put your sparks away. They are starting to singe my jeans."

  I shook my hands. "Sorry. I'm really on edge."

  "I can tell." Time Bomb gave me a gentle push. "You know magic can't kill a vampire, right?"

  "I know that." We'd been briefed before the mission. Vampires were killed by tearing off their heads and staking them through the heart with silver. Nothing else would stop those undead assholes. As a team, it would be Time Bomb's job to do the head-off-the-neck part had to be done by a Shifter, and then it would be my turn to finish the job with a silver nail, you know if the vampires decided to get treacherous. Unfortunately, if it came down to death-measures, Time Bomb would die in the process because vamp blood was extremely toxic to Shifters. I think that possibility had me on edge more than any other factor. I wasn't close to my siblings, and Time Bomb had become like my brother--the one I chose, not the ones I'd been saddled with. As a team, we'd survived mad warlocks, evil witches, and Shifters gone wild. I only hoped that treacherous vampires wouldn't be the end of us.

  Time Bomb must have read the doubt in my face, because he said, "Remember, this is a boring job, a formality. The vampires called this meeting. They wouldn't double-cross Baba Yaga, not if they want to live to see another moonrise. Your witch queen is no joke." He shook his head, his dark hair spilling over his eyes. "Besides, you don't feel any rise of power around here, right?"

  Sensing and locating magic and power was my specialty, a big reason the Rogue Magic Control Agency or the RMCA had recruited me in the first place. If the source was close, I could feel it without any ritual, but if it was farther away, I had to call it to me. When I was a young girl living in a town full of witches, I lived with a constant buzzing under my skin. The stronger the witch or warlock, the more intense the vibrations. It even happened to some extent with Shifters, fairy folk, and even humans, who all had a basic level of mundane magic.

  I was born and raised in a tiny supernatural village outside the Cotswolds in England between Swindon and Basingstoke. For years, I'd scratched skin off my arms and legs, creating sores that needed constant healing. It wasn't until my thirteenth birthday that my so-called "gift" had been revealed. It was 1955, and Baba Yaga had come to our village for the Festival of Samhain, and the buzzing under my skin grew unbearable to the point that I'd needed to be knocked out. Time Bomb was right. Baba Yaga was no joke when it came to magic. Her power had nearly flayed me from the inside out. But her visit had also been my saving grace.

  She'd moved me away from England to the Nevada desert and matched me with a telepathic witch, Brinzel Washington, who would become my teacher and my surrogate parent. My mom and dad hadn't put up much of a fight to keep me home. My affliction had been a source of embarrassment for them. Frankly, my leaving had been a relief. Even when I'd returned home when I turned eighteen, they were less than thrilled to have me back. It's why I decided to move back to the states permanently in 1971.

  The first time I'd walked into Brinzel's adobe, it had been as if for the first time in my life, I could take a deep breath that didn't hurt. The wards she used to keep the voices at bay had also managed to dampen her magic and distant residual power. From that moment on, I'd been eager to learn. Brinzel's telepathy had caused her much the same agony, and she'd mastered the techniques to block out the voices crowding her head. She'd taught me her methods, and they had worked. I'd gotten pretty good at blocking my receptors, and when I did open them, I could limit my range to a mile or two, so that I wasn't picking up Baba Yaga or Zelda, the current heir to the Baba Yaga scrunchie and leg warmer collection, whenever they faced disaster, which, from what I'd been told, was often.

  Even so, I had to concentrate to keep the itch at bay, which made dating a definite no-go for me. I'd tried, but moments of passion, even minor lust, split my ability wide open. My forced celibacy sucked, but I'd learned to live with the disappointment after several failed dates over the years.

  But in the short term, my power was an asset to my team, and I could, with concentration, determine the extent of what I allowed in. So, I braced myself at the expectant vibration that came with opening up to my surroundings.

  First, I felt Time Bomb's vague hum, and I had to pull back a little before it rattled my bones. I had gotten pretty good at identifying when I picked up individuals I was more familiar with, and when I pushed out farther, I felt the stings of Gigi, Monty, and Cas and Brit, a witch-Shifter couple, that worked for Monty. They were at the most distant edge of the perimeter.

  I quickly reeled in the tendrils until the power became less than a tickle, then rolled them up and stomped them down until I was blissfully numb once more. "Nothing," I told Time Bomb. "I only feel our two teams."

  "Great," he said. "See? No vampires."

  "Uh-huh." I had never actually been near a vampire before and stabbing practice dummies during RMCA training didn't count. But from what I'd read, they were extremely dangerous and powerful, and I wasn't sure I was ready for what one might set off in me. I noticed then that Time Bomb had a far-off stare going on, which meant he was listening extra hard. "You look constipated," I said. "What do you hear?"

  "Surprisingly, very little." He shook his head. "That's what worries me."

  Only after he said so, did I realize he was right. The tree frogs had stopped croaking, the crickets were no longer chirping, bird noises had ceased, and I had to wonder, had the red-tailed hawk tried to warn off us… or something else?

  "Do you still smell the mushrooms?"

  He nodded. "It's stronger now."

  His nose wasn't as good as a werewolf's, but it was pretty damned developed. The fact that the scent was getting stronger worried me. "But you still don't hear anything?"

  "Nope."

  I dropped my shields again, opening myself to the bombardment to my psyche, but still didn't sense anything unusual or alarming. "I don't feel anything."

  "I've got something you can feel," a voice said in what sounded like a loud whisper coming from behind us.

  I whipped, ready to light someone's ass on fire, but no one was there. "Who said that?"

  "Who said what?" Time Bomb asked. The muscles in his neck bunched as he hunkered down, ready for a fight.

  "You didn't hear it?"

  He turned his head to the left and right. "Nothing. But the musty scent is getting closer yet."

  "I don't like this," I told him. "Not one bit."

  "We should call it in," Time Bomb said.

  "And tell Gigi what exactly? You're having scent hallucinations, and I'm hearing voices?" The eerie quiet sent a shiver up the back of my neck. "We need more information."

  "That's why they pay me the big b
ucks," the voice said right before a tall man appeared out of thin air. He stood several feet away from us.

  I eeped, red magic raining from my fingers. Time Bomb growled, his nails turning into thick, sharp claws.

  His hair was the color of pitch, but his eyes were bright golden-yellow, an intensely stark contrast. My stomach clenched as he narrowed his unsettling gaze on me.

  "Who are you?" I asked. My ability was null in his presence. I couldn't even sense Time Bomb anymore. I amended my statement. "What are you?"

  The man's full lips pulled back from his teeth in a smile that melted my panties and froze me in place. "Why don't you grab some garlic, holy water, and your sauté pan, love?"

  "Vampire," I hissed.

  "Ding, ding. You got it in one. Though, I'm afraid my balls are off the menu." He winked at me. "For now."

  * * *

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  About the Author

  I am a USA Today Bestselling author who writes paranormal mysteries and romances because I love all things whodunit, Otherworldly, and weird. Also, I wish my pittie, the adorable Kona Princess Warrior, and my beagle, Josie the Incontinent Princess, could talk. Or at least be more like Scooby-Doo and help me unmask villains at the haunted house up the street.

  When I'm not writing about mystery-solving werecougars or the adventures of a hapless psychic living among shapeshifters, I am preyed upon by stray kittens who end up living in my house because I can't say no to those sweet, furry faces. (Someone stop telling them where I live!)